Author Topic: WhiteWhine.com: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore  (Read 4275 times)

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Howard Alan Treesong

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http://whitewhine.tumblr.com/

“Ugh, Wired’s so-called ‘Liveblog’ of Mac World isn’t updating nearly fast enough.”

“No matter how much I mess with the settings, I can’t get the colors on my dual monitors to match up.”

“I hate it when people claim to be fans of The Office when they haven’t even seen the original, and infinitely better, British version”

“What’s wrong with Nintendo that they can’t get enough Wii’s in for Christmas.  They had the same problem last year!”

“I am tired of this.  There are never any copies of The Onion left in the box by work.”

“Ugh, they stopped selling Sam Adams Octoberfest already?  It’s not even November yet!”

spoiler (click to show/hide)
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« Last Edit: February 19, 2008, 12:34:00 PM by Synthesizer Patel »
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Eric P

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2008, 05:21:11 PM »
i laughed

we white folk have it so hard
Tonya

cubicle47b

  • Member
Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2008, 05:25:14 PM »
It's halfway there.  It lacks polarized opinions on random shit.

Robo

  • Senior Member
Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2008, 05:25:28 PM »
I'm pretty sure I've said that Sam Adams line verbatim at some point.
obo

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2008, 05:25:37 PM »
man, i can totally sympathize. as a whitey, i *can* taste the difference between fiji and ethos, and i swear by fuckin' fiji water these days. black people will never understand me. :'(
duc

The Fake Shemp

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2008, 05:25:41 PM »
Hey, that Octoberfest complaint is valid!
PSP

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2008, 05:28:40 PM »
Sam Adams is crap in the first place.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
polarizing opinion
[close]

:bow :bow :bow

newcastle >>>>>> sam adams
duc

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2008, 05:29:10 PM »
hey Eric P way to recommend Iain M. Banks in that shitstain of an Ender's Game SF thread on GAF
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TVC15

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2008, 05:29:20 PM »
man, i can totally sympathize. as a whitey, i *can* taste the difference between fiji and ethos, and i swear by fuckin' fiji water these days. black people will never understand me. :'(

Fuck yes.  Fiji is my favorite widely available bottled water.
serge

TVC15

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  • Senior Member
Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #9 on: January 23, 2008, 05:30:10 PM »
Also, I had a complaint that might fit the site:

"I had this awesome long rant about how much I hate Chuck Klosterman, and then IE froze on me me :("
serge

Robo

  • Senior Member
Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2008, 05:32:48 PM »
Newcastle?  you are INSANE
obo

The Fake Shemp

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #11 on: January 23, 2008, 05:35:57 PM »
newcastle >>>>>> sam adams

Newcastle is a superior beer, but I do like Octoberfest.  Regular Sam Adams brew is just alright.
PSP

demi

  • cooler than willco
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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #12 on: January 23, 2008, 05:38:25 PM »
black people OWNED, this is how you complain
fat

Tauntaun

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #13 on: January 23, 2008, 05:50:43 PM »
man, i can totally sympathize. as a whitey, i *can* taste the difference between fiji and ethos, and i swear by fuckin' fiji water these days. black people will never understand me. :'(

 :lol This is cracking me up because my wife has become obsessed with Fiji water and....it is better than *.
:)

Fragamemnon

  • Excel 2008 GOTY
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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #14 on: January 23, 2008, 06:12:00 PM »
Quote
“I hate it when my Forbes Magazine subscription shows up later than the newsstand copy.”
Quote
“Why do they have to put the Farmers’ Market right downtown? It really plays havoc with my commute.”

That last one is a real winner, as I hear it every time I go to the Durham Farmer's Market-the wealthy folk living in the burbs hate going to the inner city to get their local-grown fresh organic produce.
hex

MrAngryFace

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #15 on: January 23, 2008, 06:30:46 PM »
Hahaha
o_0

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #16 on: January 23, 2008, 06:39:40 PM »
“I had to download like 12 iTunes updates when I got my iPod touch, it seriously took forever.”
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Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #17 on: January 23, 2008, 07:38:03 PM »
Hahahha
IYKYK

Shins

  • Junior Member
Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #18 on: January 23, 2008, 07:48:55 PM »
I wanted Aquafina but they only had Dasani.

Bloodwake

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #19 on: January 23, 2008, 08:09:10 PM »
 :lol

Sounds like a classic for the ages.
HLR

xnikki118x

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #20 on: January 23, 2008, 08:44:49 PM »
Complaint #47

“I can’t BELIEVE Steve Jobs just dropped the price of the iPhone $200!  I feel like such a sucker now.”

-Whine by Erin


:rofl :rofl :rofl




Complaint #47

“I can’t BELIEVE Steve Jobs just dropped the price of the iPhone $200!  I feel like such a sucker now.”

-Whine by Erin

Red wine and white wine go in different glasses? Who knew?
:-*

Ichirou

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #21 on: January 23, 2008, 08:58:48 PM »
hahaha, white people are dumb
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Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #22 on: January 23, 2008, 09:00:07 PM »
Red wine and white wine go in different glasses? Who knew?

WHITE PEOPLE DID
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Joe Molotov

  • I'm much more humble than you would understand.
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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #23 on: January 23, 2008, 09:01:10 PM »
We should send in a few.

"Terry Gilliam's new film shut down, crew laid off."

"FUCK YOU 360, and FUCK YOU Windows Media Center"

"BASE 02, the most evil creation since Comic Sans?"

"And now this shitty X360 messenger kit."
©@©™

Shins

  • Junior Member
Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #24 on: January 23, 2008, 09:20:11 PM »
CULTURED WHITE PEOPLE DID

Fixed, as I learned the hard way.

INTUNEevolution

  • Junior Member
Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #25 on: January 23, 2008, 09:58:54 PM »
It's halfway there.  It lacks polarized opinions on random shit.
This.
ONO

Fragamemnon

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #26 on: January 24, 2008, 11:19:46 PM »
A quote from me today:

Quote from: fragamemnon at snooty kitchen store
Ugh, I can't believe this store is out of refills for my brulee torch!
hex

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #27 on: January 24, 2008, 11:29:46 PM »
I can't find my goddamn Refresh Tears eyedrops.  And Visine is NO substitute.
QED

Eric P

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #28 on: January 24, 2008, 11:48:09 PM »
i told minorities about this site and they had some suggestions

none of them were appropriate

i tried to educate them about the special needs of white folk, but they just didn't get it
Tonya

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #29 on: January 25, 2008, 12:10:40 AM »
A quote from me today:

Quote from: fragamemnon at snooty kitchen store
Ugh, I can't believe this store is out of refills for my brulee torch!

Was it Sur La Table? Please say it was Sur La Table.
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Fragamemnon

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #30 on: January 25, 2008, 01:02:13 PM »
Was it Sur La Table? Please say it was Sur La Table.

They don't have one here :(.

I did order a raclette set from them right after I got back from the wife's parents for the holidays. It's awesome!
hex

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #31 on: February 19, 2008, 12:33:48 PM »
bumping this thread cause we white people shouldn't ruin other people's threads with our complaints. that's what minorities do!

I submitted two new ones today:

"Why is it still so hard to find decent widescreen wallpapers? 2005 called, they want their 4:3 wallpapers back!"

"Of course I can taste the difference--why else would they even make Coke Zero?"
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Human Snorenado

  • Stay out of Malibu, Lebowski
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Re: WhiteWhine.com: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #32 on: February 19, 2008, 01:09:54 PM »
I wonder how many complaints Pee Dee has submitted to that website?
yar

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #33 on: February 19, 2008, 01:11:24 PM »
bumping this thread cause we white people shouldn't ruin other people's threads with our complaints. that's what minorities do!

 :lol
IYKYK

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: WhiteWhine.com: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #34 on: February 19, 2008, 01:14:12 PM »
What is an emcee if the wall ain't got no back?
(I don't know, yo, he must be kinda wack)
What is paper to a nicca if the nicca don't stack?
(Yo, why the hell you askin me that?)
Why do these girls, look so good in the summer?
(I don't know, I'm just sayin this shit)
If you got ta-dat-ta-dat-tap for your lady wouldja wanna?
(Hmmm.. yeah, right)
Cause you answer the phone "peace" do that mean that you not a freak?
(Hell no!  That's right)
Cause you recognize me-e-e-e-e, yo, I got to speak?
(Why can't you speak?  What you big a star now?)
Why you got-ta, act like, nicca, all the time
(Even on SUNDAY's you should..)
Is a nicca yo' complexion, is it all in your mind?
(It's all your mind..)
What's it called y'all?

It's the questions (WHAT?) it's the questions boy
It's the questions (What?) it's the questions, yeah!
The questions (uhh) it's the questions y'all
It's the questions (WHAT?) it's the questions c'mon
The questions, it's the questions boy
It's the questions (ahh, uh ahh) it's the questions, yeah
The questions (yes) it's the questions boy
It's the questions - that's what it's all about

Yo, if I'm a intellectual-al, I can't be sexual?
(I don't know, you wanna be sexual??)
If I want to uhh tah uhh does that mean I lack respect for you?
(I don't know you tell me..)
Youse a grown man, why fuck that young girl, are you lustin?
(I might look twenty but I'm 15 - slow down girl)
If you got paper like that, then why you still hustlin?
(Why you still hustlin?  C'mon!)
Now you know yo' stomach too big, to be wearin a shirt like that
(Look at your stomach - ewww it's sloppy)
So why, you want, to go and do that?

[Mos Def]
Why ya why ya why ya why ya why ya wanna why ya wanna
Why ya wanna go and do that love huh?

Yo why your girl gi-giddy when my name come up?
{*female giggling*}
How come the industry build careers that don't last?
(Uh-huh, that's right, ask him)
How come niggaz don't know but they front and don't ask?
(Mmmmhmmm)  Man I don't know, I don't know

[Common]
It's the questions (WHAT?) it's the questions girl
It's the questions (What?) it's the questions c'mon
The questions (WHAT?) it's the questions Com
It's the questions (hah) it's the questions yeah
Yo we talkin bout the questions, it's the questions girl
It's the questions (the who, the where, the when, the why)
It's the questions, c'mon!!
The questions.. the questions y'all (yo we shoutin it out)
It's the questions - that's what it's all about

[Mos Def]
Yo, why they say never say never, when they know that ain't right?
(What???)
Cause to never say never you done said never twice
(They scrubs, that's why - yeah that's twice)
Why do I need I.D. to get I.D.?
(I don't know, beats me.. beats me)
If I had I.D. I wouldn't need I.D.
(Hahahahah, that's right - that's true)
Why do these fine ghetto women got so much ass?
(Why'd you talkin about our ass though?  C'mon now)
Why did Dr. J shave his beard and mustache?
(Like this.. and like this)
How you got high expectations but got no patience?
(C'mon, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know)
How come this joint named "The Questions" is so John Blazin'?
(Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh) Man I don't know, I don't know
IYKYK

Candyflip

  • Senior Member
Re: WhiteWhine.com: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #35 on: February 19, 2008, 03:18:05 PM »
Complaint #152

“Why is Barnes and Noble not open?  Not everyone has President’s Day off.”

Silly white people and their books lol.
ffs

Flannel Boy

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Re: WhiteWhine.com: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #36 on: February 19, 2008, 05:51:52 PM »
Off the top of my head:

Why are there fifteen Wal-Marts located around my house but only one Whole Foods?

Why is the library's mystery section larger than its French literature section?

I wish there were more minorities at my yoga class. By that I mean straight men and not darkies.

Why is Two and Half Men still on the air while Arrested Development has long been canceled?

I wish the repairs on my Prius were less costly.

How come Obama isn't president yet?

Why is it that whenever I trim my pubic hair it feels like I shoved a cactus down my pants?

The world would be so much better is everyone read Aristophanes' plays.


Ichirou

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Re: WhiteWhine.com: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #37 on: February 20, 2008, 12:01:01 AM »
This is still a shit thread.

Brown people unite.

The symbol of our revolution:

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[close]
« Last Edit: February 20, 2008, 12:04:44 AM by Ichi »
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Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: WhiteWhine.com: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #38 on: February 20, 2008, 12:31:28 AM »
is that a mr popo candle or cake or whut
IYKYK

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: WhiteWhine.com: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #39 on: February 20, 2008, 12:32:13 AM »
put it in your mouth and find out
乱学者

Ichirou

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Re: WhiteWhine.com: This site cuts to the heart of our lives here at Evilbore
« Reply #40 on: February 20, 2008, 12:39:26 AM »
is that a mr popo candle or cake or whut

It's a piggy bank.  And so much more.
PS4