Author Topic: How can I spice up my attempts to troll Seattle? (Read 2557 times)

recursivelyenumerable · « **on:** January 25, 2008, 12:10:20 AM »

OK, I've tried several times now and never gotten any traction. Are Seattleites unflappable or am I going about it wrong? I'll consider any suggestions.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #1 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:11:25 AM »

you need more credibility with your forum peers. send tvc and mupepe a picture of your erect cock.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #2 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:12:34 AM »

Microsoft trolling suggestions also welcome, by the way.

Trent Dole · « **Reply #3 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:14:16 AM »

Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on January 25, 2008, 12:12:34 AM

Microsoft trolling suggestions also welcome, by the way.

You could always talk about the 360 failure rate and misquote insiders to make it look like the failure rate is 30% continuously like Chris Kohler did on his blog.

TVC15 · « **Reply #4 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:14:57 AM »

I was just assuming you are mentally unstable.

Where are you at, Portland? Does it really have to be so you can only like one or the other? The best troll would probably be an explanation of why you don't particularly like Seattle.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #5 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:15:26 AM »

i don't think that at any point in the history of this shitty internet has anyone EVER needed guidance on trolling microsoft

TVC15 · « **Reply #6 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:15:46 AM »

Microsoft trolls itself like soviet russia.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #7 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:16:24 AM »

Scourer MSDN for bad edits. Its the only chance you've got.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #8 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:21:11 AM »

Quote

The best troll would probably be an explanation of why you don't particularly like Seattle.

No 24-hour coffee shops, bad heroin, nonsensical street layouts, Microsoft, etc.

I'd rather stay out of the console wars, that's definite red-ocean territory.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #9 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:22:54 AM »

pussy complaints. instead, start by insisting all seattle residents are obese, effete posers with no taste in music.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #10 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:24:22 AM »

I can't very well do that and still advocate Portland. I guess I'm in the position of the Democrats on the Enron scandal or the Iraq war

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #11 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:25:40 AM »

Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on January 25, 2008, 12:21:11 AM

Quote
The best troll would probably be an explanation of why you don't particularly like Seattle.

No 24-hour coffee shops, bad heroin, nonsensical street layouts, Microsoft, etc.

I'd rather stay out of the console wars, that's definite red-ocean territory.

Admitting you can tell the difference in heroin by region leaves you wide open for counter trolls. I give this drinky's left love-handle out of his whole trollish body.

TVC15 · « **Reply #12 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:27:10 AM »

Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on January 25, 2008, 12:21:11 AM

Quote
The best troll would probably be an explanation of why you don't particularly like Seattle.

No 24-hour coffee shops, bad heroin, nonsensical street layouts, Microsoft, etc.

I'd rather stay out of the console wars, that's definite red-ocean territory.

Those are pretty dumb reasons. The nonsensical street layouts thing, if you live in a major US city that DOESN'T have distinguished mentally-challenged layouts, you are in the minority.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #13 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:30:41 AM »

My whole lifestyle is predicated on having access to at least one 24-hour coffee shop, preferably several. Even St. Louis has one. Seattle therefore discriminates against me and I believe it's violating at least one federal law.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #14 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:32:48 AM »

Seattle is untrollable. It's so awesome that it's troll proof.

And besides, we now have two restaurants that serve okonomiyaki.

TVC15 · « **Reply #15 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:33:15 AM »

Maybe you just need to adjust your dependencies and realize that you projecting your addiction onto the city and finding it comes up short by your junkie standards is not particularly the fault of the area itself. Junkie.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #16 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:38:20 AM »

Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on January 25, 2008, 12:30:41 AM

My whole lifestyle is predicated on having access to at least one 24-hour coffee shop, preferably several. Even St. Louis has one. Seattle therefore discriminates against me and I believe it's violating at least one federal law.

whatever. dick pic, stat!

TVC15 · « **Reply #17 on:** January 25, 2008, 12:40:48 AM »

recursivelyenumerable, you come to Seattle, and I will make you love it. You will tell it that you love it, and you won't be able to leave it. Mainly because I will handcuff you to a bar stool in The Cuff on dyke night. I hope you like spankings from large, unattractive lesbians.

tiesto · « **Reply #18 on:** January 25, 2008, 01:09:01 AM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on January 25, 2008, 12:27:10 AM

Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on January 25, 2008, 12:21:11 AM
Quote
The best troll would probably be an explanation of why you don't particularly like Seattle.

No 24-hour coffee shops, bad heroin, nonsensical street layouts, Microsoft, etc.

I'd rather stay out of the console wars, that's definite red-ocean territory.

Those are pretty dumb reasons. The nonsensical street layouts thing, if you live in a major US city that DOESN'T have distinguished mentally-challenged layouts, you are in the minority.

Manhattan's street plan is absolutely awesome apart from downtown/the village.

T234 · « **Reply #19 on:** January 25, 2008, 01:18:51 AM »

Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on January 25, 2008, 12:12:34 AM

Microsoft trolling suggestions also welcome, by the way.

How in the fuck do you need help trollin microsoft? Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?

I could troll microsoft. And I'm a third-rate troll who is posting this on a computer sent to me by one of its employees. And this mouse (a microsoft habu) I got connected to the machine was given to me by another microsoft employee. He's even in this thread fer chrissakes!

TVC15 · « **Reply #20 on:** January 25, 2008, 01:20:34 AM »

I don't need my Habu anymore if anyone wants it.

I got one of these

to tide me over until Logitech refreshes their performance lines. I am kind of a peripheral whore. I just need to change things up every couple of months. I am hooked on high dpi now, though.

border · « **Reply #21 on:** January 25, 2008, 01:40:43 AM »

Everytime Seattle comes up, people from the city start whining about the cost of housing. I guess that's a good place to start?

demi · « **Reply #22 on:** January 25, 2008, 02:32:39 AM »

wow, i didnt even notice that was prole now that he has his avatar changed. seems you are nothing without the cat. irrelevant total.

INTUNEevolution · « **Reply #23 on:** January 25, 2008, 02:34:23 AM »

Quote from: Professor Prole on January 25, 2008, 12:38:20 AM

Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on January 25, 2008, 12:30:41 AM
My whole lifestyle is predicated on having access to at least one 24-hour coffee shop, preferably several. Even St. Louis has one. Seattle therefore discriminates against me and I believe it's violating at least one federal law.

whatever. dick pic, stat!

Oh, you gays!

*Finger wag*

Himu · « **Reply #24 on:** January 25, 2008, 02:35:49 AM »

portland is awful i went there once and some mexican guy grabbed my cock and asked me to go inside a skin flick place

TVC15 · « **Reply #25 on:** January 25, 2008, 03:29:04 AM »

Quote from: Himuro on January 25, 2008, 02:35:49 AM

portland is awful i went there once and some mexican guy grabbed my cock and asked me to go inside a skin flick place

If you came to Seattle, that's what I'd do. I' probably get a few drinks in you first, though.

INTUNEevolution · « **Reply #26 on:** January 25, 2008, 03:31:56 AM »

Himuro, your options: did you like the crotch grab, or did you hate the mexican.

So Himuro, are you racist or gay?

Ichirou · « **Reply #27 on:** January 25, 2008, 03:32:44 AM »

Considering his relationship with Mupepe, the answer seems obvious. He's both.

TVC15 · « **Reply #28 on:** January 25, 2008, 03:34:57 AM »

Don't think you know Himumu that closely. He probably has all sorts of heretofore unknown mental deformities what with him being the only black person ever under 7 feet tall. If that one thing is wrong, probably a half dozen others are, as well.

max_cool · « **Reply #29 on:** January 25, 2008, 04:57:56 AM »

I think it's impossible for some one from Portland to troll Seattle. The are like the same place, only Seattle is more.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #30 on:** January 25, 2008, 05:01:42 AM »

That's what I expected when I came in to Seattle. I was really excited to see what a REAL Northwestern city was like. My hopes were cruelly dashed.

max_cool · « **Reply #31 on:** January 25, 2008, 05:09:25 AM »

Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on January 25, 2008, 05:01:42 AM

That's what I expected when I came in to Seattle. I was really excited to see what a REAL Northwestern city was like. My hopes were cruelly dashed.

which is why one shouldn't go to Seattle in the first place. Go to San Francisco instead.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #32 on:** January 25, 2008, 05:11:47 AM »

I kinda like LA, much to my ex-LA friends' chagrin.

bluemax · « **Reply #33 on:** January 25, 2008, 05:40:39 AM »

Go hang out at the Halo's Heaven blog. You'll learn all kinds of creatively bankrupt Seattle trolls.

http://www.halosheaven.com/

Edit: Wait you're from Portland? You can't troll Washington!

TVC15 · « **Reply #34 on:** January 25, 2008, 01:49:27 PM »

Oh come on, Portland would be my first choice for place to live if Seattle didn't exist. I'd finally get that chance to fuck Gus van Sant.

News:

Author Topic: How can I spice up my attempts to troll Seattle? (Read 2557 times)