I was entering the parking garage and out of the corner of my eye I noticed a car backing up a one-way lane jam packed with parked cars. I knew at that instant the driver had found his mark and was attempting to subvert the rules to make his life just a LITTLE easier. I breathed a sigh of relief, nothing is worse than an idiot driver desperate to save himself 15 or so steps despite the fact he will consume more than most people do on an average day on this planet.
However, having let my guard down perhaps I even let out a swagger. I am certain the driver spotted the silver button on my jacket glinting from the beams of his GREEDY headlights. I made a feint, hoping my misdirection would make him think that perhaps I was just having a stroll through the parking garage during my mid-day break, but alas the path that I had chosen was leading me down the ramp to the third level parking lot.
I was now at a crossroads:
1.) Look incredibly stupid by WALKING to the lower level of the parking garage.
2.) Look incredibly INSANE by WALKING to the lower level of the parking garage.
3.) Turn around and let the driver know that I indeed was aware of his intentions to steal my coveted parking spot; Right next to the door I get here at 5:30am when I am not carpooling.
I chose option three. I figured that while he would now be aware of what I was attempting, I would at least spare myself the torture of thinking up excuses should I meet someone who is walking UP to the parking level I was currently on.
So I sorta made a casual walk to my car, and the driver commited by driving past his previous target and taking prime position behind me, letting other predators on the hunt know that this was HIS mark and if they wanted to take it they would have to...well be a jerk and ram their SUV straight up his yuppie jetta driving ass.
But I showed him, I got in my car very slowly and casually looked around at all my mirrors making a pre-flight check I would normally never make, a loud proclamation that I may be his victim but I will not make it easy as PIE. As in pumpkin pie, as in APPLE JACKS (see. Apple Jacks Thread earlier today)
I fiddled with the radio, what station to listen to hrm haw, I couldnt decide, fancy that. Seat-belt on? Check -- lights on lights off, I couldnt decide. The entire time his headlights bore a path straight to hell on the back of my neck. At this point he knew I was fucking with him, but frankly I had to get some lunch before my appointments later in the day.
With resignation I turned the key in the ignition and backed out, but even then it wasnt surrender. I backed out as slow as I could and at a wide angle so as I pulled around the driver side faced the front of his vehicle, his monstrosity born of corporate america...that he could see plainly on my face that I was not scared nor intimidated by this loss. That I could walk those 15 steps when I returned when in fact it was clear, that he couldnt.
