Evilbore names the 15 best lines of movie dialogue ever.

[dcharlie]

goooo

[Vizzys]

    Mr. Pink: But why am I "Mr. Pink"?
    Joe Cabot: Because you're a taco!

--

Knock knock. Who's there? Your ass waiting to be kicked!

--

i'm bleeding. Making me the victor.

-

Killing is wrong. And bad. There should be a new, stronger word for killing. Like badwrong, or badong. Yes. Killing is badong. From now on, I will stand for the opposite of killing, gnodab.

--

I have been called bad before. Many people have said, I do things that are not... correct to do. I do not believe in such talk! I am nice man, with happy feelings. All o' the time. First, a joke. What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee chord?


 My ass.

---

[Cormacaroni]

Some well-known faves -

I will say to him: 'Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die'.

I've seen attack ships on fire off the arm of Orion. I've watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannheuser Gate. all these moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain. Time to die. 

You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

[Phoenix Dark]

Oh please don't quote Princess Bride. Most overrated nostalgia turd ever 

[Himu]

Chun Li: You and your bullies were driven back by farmers with pitchforks! My father saved his village at the cost of his own life. You had him shot as you ran away! A hero... at a thousand paces.
Bison: I'm sorry. I don't remember any of it.
Chun Li: You don't remember?
Bison: For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.

[Junpei the Tracer!]

"I want to take his face... off. Eyes, nose, skin, teeth. It's coming off."

[Mupepe]

"nicca, we fucked dwarves in the ass!"

"This your boy?"

"YEAH THIS MY BOY!  WE BOTH REPRESENTIN' SMART TECH!"

"You just got fucked up with him."

"I didn't do anything."

"It don't even matter.  Both ya'll niccas fixin to get clapped up when I get back.  *crazy hand movements*  BOTH YA'LL niccas"

[Tauntaun]

Knock knock. Who's there? Your ass waiting to be kicked!

--

i'm bleeding. Making me the victor.

-

Killing is wrong. And bad. There should be a new, stronger word for killing. Like badwrong, or badong. Yes. Killing is badong. From now on, I will stand for the opposite of killing, gnodab.

--

I have been called bad before. Many people have said, I do things that are not... correct to do. I do not believe in such talk! I am nice man, with happy feelings. All o' the time. First, a joke. What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee chord?


 My ass.

---

They so need to do the sequel to Kung Pow.   

[Eel O'Brian]

Glen:  Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.

H.I.: Someone oughta sell tickets.

Glen: Sure, I'd buy one.

-------

Tommy Johnson:  I had to be up at that there crossroads last midnight, to sell my soul to the devil.

Ulysses Everett McGill:  Well, ain't it a small world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I'm the only one that remains unaffiliated.

[cubicle47b]

[youtube=425,350]KrnZcI3JS60[/youtube]

Andy: You think I don't appreciate art? You think I don't understand fashion? You think I'm not hip? You think I'm pathetic? A nerd? A lard-ass fat-so? You think I'm shit? Well, you're wrong, 'cause i'm champagne, and you're shit. Until the day you die, you, not me, will always be shit.

edit:

Marcus: "You just want to fuck him like every other white cunt on campus."


Todd Solondz

[CajoleJuice]

    Mr. Pink: But why am I "Mr. Pink"?
    Joe Cabot: Because you're a taco!

So good.

[Van Cruncheon]

"Go 'way. 'Batin."

[FlameOfCallandor]

"Get that corn out of my face"
-Nacho Libre
(terrible terible movie)

[Human Snorenado]

Blond Treehorn Thug: [holding up a bowling ball] What the fuck is this?
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.

Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

The Dude: Look, just stay away from my fucking lady friend.
Da Fino: Hey, I'm not messing with your special lady.
The Dude: She's not my special lady, she's my fucking lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive.

Walter Sobchak: [shouting] Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!

Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.

The Dude: Fuckin' Quintana... that creep can roll, man.
Walter Sobchak: Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.
The Dude: Yeah.
Walter Sobchak: No, he's a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.
The Dude: Oh!
Walter Sobchak: When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast.
Donny: What's a... pederast, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.

Jesus Quintana: What's this day of rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!

Jesus Quintana: You ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up.
The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
The Dude: Jesus.
Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
Walter Sobchak: Eight-year-olds, Dude.

Walter Sobchak: Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling.

And pretty much the rest of the flick, too.

[Eel O'Brian]

Josey Wales:   Dyin' ain't much of a living, boy.



Josey Wales:  [referring to Lone's dog] Chief, I was just wondering: I suppose that mangy red-bone hound's got no place else to go either. 
[spits tobacco juice on the dog's forehead]
Josey Wales: He might as well ride along with us; Hell, everybody else is.


Comanchero Leader:   You damn fools! Ten Bears gonna want him a fresh woman. Fresh, that little gal will bring ten, maybe twelve horses. Now, if one of you has to, you can take that old woman over there. She might be worth one donkey

[Mr. Gundam]

Oh please don't quote Princess Bride. Most overrated nostalgia turd ever 

You long ago lost the right to criticize film ever again.

[Robo]

Bond: That's a Smith & Wesson... and you've had your six."

Tatiana: The mechanism is... Oh James, James... Will you make love to me all the time in England?
Bond: Day and night. Go on about the mechanism.

Bond: Do you expect me to talk?
Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!

(After electrocuting the guy in the bathtub.)
Bond: Shocking. Positively shocking.

Bond: Who are you?
Pussy Galore: My name is Pussy Galore.
Bond: I must be dreaming

Bond: That looks like a women's gun.
Emillio Largo: Do you know a lot about guns, Mr. Bond?
Bond: No, but I know a little about women.

 

[Phoenix Dark]

They're eating her. Then they're going to eat me. OH MY GOD

[Van Cruncheon]

Little Bill Daggett: I don't deserve this... to die like this. I was building a house.
Will Munny: Deserve's got nothin' to do with it.
[aims gun]
Little Bill Daggett: I'll see you in hell, William Munny.
Will Munny: Yeah.
[fires]

[Mupepe]

Little Bill Daggett: I don't deserve this... to die like this. I was building a house.
Will Munny: Deserve's got nothin' to do with it.
[aims gun]
Little Bill Daggett: I'll see you in hell, William Munny.
Will Munny: Yeah.
[fires]

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Some muthafuckas are always tryin' to ice skate uphill.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

What's the matter? You come to fight a madman, and instead you find a god? Do you still refuse to accept my godhood? Keep your God! In fact, now may be a good time to pray to Him! For I beheld Satan as he came down from Heaven!

[Bloodwake]

HEINEKEN? FUCK THAT SHIT. PABST BLUE RIBBON!

[TVC15]

"Show me how you suck a guy's cock."  from Bad Lieutenant.

[PhoenixWright]

Gary Johnston: We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

[Human Snorenado]

Sho'nuff: Am I the meanest?
Sho'nuff 's Goons: Sho'nuff!
Sho'nuff: Am I the prettiest?
Sho'nuff 's Goons: Sho'nuff!
Sho'nuff: Am I the baddest mofo low down around this town?
Sho'nuff 's Goons: Sho'nuff!
Sho'nuff: Well who am I?
Sho'nuff 's Goons: Sho'nuff!
Sho'nuff: Who am I?
Sho'nuff 's Goons: Sho'nuff!
Sho'nuff: I can't hear you...
Sho'nuff 's Goons: Sho'nuff!
Sho'nuff: I AM the Shogun of Harlem!

[Eel O'Brian]

The President of the United States:  YOU ARE... THE DUKE OF NEW YORK... YOU'RE A-NUMBER-ONE!

[Himu]

Shu'nuff: WHO'S THE MASTER?

[bud]

marsellus wallace: i'm prepared to scour the earth for that motherfucker. if butch goes to indochina, I want a nicca waiting in a bowl of rice ready to pop a cap in his ass.

[Himu]

WARRRRRIORRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. COME OUT TO PLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[Eel O'Brian]

QUINT:

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We'd just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin' by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that shark he go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol' fat PBY come down and started to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

[bud]

the ''fuck you'' part in 25th hour was pretty fucking awesome.

[Ichirou]

"Yippee-ki-yay, Mr. Falcon!"

[xnikki118x]

"GET OFF MY PLANE!"

- - -

"Play it again, Sam."

- - -

"Light speed is too slow."

- - -

"That's TWO you owe me, Junior."

- - -

And for James:

"I coulda been at a barbecue!"

[Ichirou]

"Play it again, Sam"? What movie is that from?  It's certainly not from Casablanca because it's never actually said in that film.

[xnikki118x]

"Play it again, Sam"? What movie is that from?  It's certainly not from Casablanca because it's never actually said in that film.

Sorry. "Play it, Sam, play 'As Time Goes By'." I always mix up what is supposedly said and what really is said.

I also love "Here's lookin' at you, kid." Of course.

[Ichirou]

My favorite line from the movie is "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

[xnikki118x]

I also like "Round up the usual suspects."

[Ichirou]

I also like Peter Lorre's line at the beginning...what was it? "Do you deeespise me, Rick?"  Or something like that.

[Human Snorenado]

Ah, Casablanca.  I personally liked Capt. Renault the best out of all the characters.

Captain Renault: Carl, see that Major Strasser gets a good table, one close to the ladies.
Carl: I have already given him the best, knowing he is German and would take it anyway.

Captain Renault: Rick, there are many exit visas sold in this café, but we know that you've never sold one. That is the reason we permit you to remain open.
Rick: Oh? I thought it was because I let you win at roulette.
Captain Renault: That is another reason.

[about Rick]
Major Strasser: You give him credit for too much cleverness. My impression was that he's just another blundering American.
Captain Renault: We musn't underestimate American blundering. I was with them when they blundered into Berlin in 1918.

Captain Renault: Hello Rick.
Rick: Hello Louis.
Captain Renault: How extravagant you are, throwing away women like that. Someday they may be scarce. You know, now I think I shall pay a call on Yvonne. Maybe get her on the rebound. Hmm?
Rick: When it comes to women, you're a true democrat.

Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

[as he goes to hand Renault a bribe]
Jan Brandel: Captain Renault... may I?
Captain Renault: Oh no! Not here please! Come to my office tomorrow morning. We'll do everything businesslike.
Jan Brandel: We'll be there at six!
Captain Renault: I'll be there at ten.

My personal favorite:

Rick: How can you close me up? On what grounds?
Captain Renault: I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!
[a croupier hands Renault a pile of money]
Croupier: Your winnings, sir.
Captain Renault: [sotto voce] Oh, thank you very much.
[aloud]
Captain Renault: Everybody out at once!