Author Topic: Have you ever been poked on Facebook? (Read 5490 times)

Phoenix Dark · « **on:** February 01, 2008, 06:08:06 PM »

I just found out what the "poke" function meant

Quote

Seriously. People don't understand why "poking" exists on facebook. It's pretty clear that it's facebook's classy way of flirting, none of this "I was just thinking about you" bullshit. You want to have sex, so you poked me. End of story.

Be realistic, how often are you poked by a member of the same sex? If a member of the same sex pokes you, chances are they're gay. And if they're not gay, and you two are "just great friends"...

Everyone else thinks you guys are gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.

--THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF POKING--

I) Never poke someone you dont know and haven't spoken to, simply because you find them attractive. Stop being obvious and gross/stalker-y.

II) Don't poke anyone you don't want to have sex with. You'd just be an asshole giving them the wrong message. If you "just want to say hello", then IM them or comment on their profile etc, and actually say hello.

III) Don't return any pokes to the person who poked you if you dont find them attractive. You'll just be leading them on. It's not cool to break unnecessary hearts.

IV) Straight men don't poke other men. It is never appropriate. End of story.

V) DONT OVER-POKE! If you're poking more out of routine than to display real affections, you're poking too much. Limiting the frequency with which you poke helps retain the value of a single poke.

VI) If your poking is becoming too frequent, you need to have sex already. Once you've been poking back and forth for a few days, it becomes time to take the poking from the internet to the bedroom...or shower, kitchen, main lounge, attic, museum, airplane, fast-food restaurant bathroom, Chuck-E-Cheese's ball-pit, etc.

VII) Be careful when you decide to hide your pokes. Hiding a poke is the same thing as a rejection, and you don't want to send the wrong message to someone you might be interested in. If you are attracted to a person but don't want to be bothered with constantly poking back and forth, just leave the poke up there, it doesn't bite.

VIII) Poke wars are distinguished mentally-challenged (see #6). The process of poking isn't fun. You're just clicking a friggin' button. The sex that comes afterwards is the fun part. Two people competing over who "gets poked last" or who "pokes the other the most" or whatever is the most ridiculous concept I've ever heard. It's like two people sitting across from each other saying "I want to have sex" back and forth but with neither of them actually doing anything. They poked you, you poked them. Now stop the poking, and go have sex.

IX) If you like being an elusive, hard-to-get poke, don't give it up too soon! Sometimes, witholding that poke for a few days can intensify the relationship. Or, if you like subtly letting others know you're angry, take a long time to return their pokes, or hide their pokes altogether. Internet poking is as mental, as real poking is physical.

X) The last, but certainly not the least important Commandment: PRACTICING SAFER POKING.
It was already stated in the First Commandment that it's wrong to poke those you dont know that you only have physical attractions for, however, creeps are out there, and it happens nonetheless. DON'T POKE PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW. You never know who that mysterious person poking you is. You never know who they've poked, or even if they were safe pokers themselves. Unsafe poking can lead to stalker-esque relationships, both in and out of Facebook. And you never know who might give you a virus (be it spyware or herpes). Neither of us want that. Two ways to poke safer are: to completely abstain from poking (this is the only 100% safe, religiously appropriate way), and to only poke people you know. Also, putting up sexy, cute, or marginally attractive profile pictures that non-friends can see might lead to unwanted poking. Be wary...and slutty/hoish at your own risk. I recommend neutral profile pictures of puppies, flowers, or famous athletes. Doing anything else might attract attention and end disasterously!

I had NO idea what it was, but luckiliy I never poked someone lol. Maybe I should poke Cheebs...

Tauntaun · « **Reply #1 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:08:34 PM »

I've been superpoked.

hyp · « **Reply #2 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:08:58 PM »

i got poked once by an ex-coworker. i hated the dude. maybe he was in love with me.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #3 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:10:11 PM »

I just got poked

Beezy you're next

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #4 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:10:41 PM »

Quote

VI) If your poking is becoming too frequent, you need to have sex already. Once you've been poking back and forth for a few days, it becomes time to take the poking from the internet to the bedroom...or shower, kitchen, main lounge, attic, museum, airplane, fast-food restaurant bathroom, Chuck-E-Cheese's ball-pit, etc.

$:-\$

Beezy · « **Reply #5 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:10:46 PM »

I'm calling bullshit on this one.

Robo · « **Reply #6 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:11:19 PM »

I'm pretty sure most people who poke just do it because they're on fucking facebook and bored. In other words, this guy is an idiot.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #7 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:12:05 PM »

Quote from: RoboJ on February 01, 2008, 06:11:19 PM

I'm pretty sure most people who poke just do it because they're on fucking facebook and bored. In other words, this guy is an idiot.

I like this explanation more.

Junpei the Tracer! · « **Reply #8 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:12:57 PM »

I've never been poked but a strange man sent me this message:

Hi there,

I want to expand my social circles. Have been living in NYC for 4 years
but seldom here. Starting to spend alot of time here. I want to
integrate myself more into local life. I have been mixing with mostly expats.
Well, if interested in starting a friendship, drop me a line,

Regards
Nazir Shah

drew · « **Reply #9 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:13:48 PM »

yes.

ps: anyone who makes a "Ten commandments of social sites" is a douche of the highest order

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #10 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:14:35 PM »

Quote from: Junpei the Tracer! on February 01, 2008, 06:12:57 PM

I've never been poked but a strange man sent me this message:

Hi there,

I want to expand my social circles. Have been living in NYC for 4 years
but seldom here. Starting to spend alot of time here. I want to
integrate myself more into local life. I have been mixing with mostly expats.
Well, if interested in starting a friendship, drop me a line,

Regards
Nazir Shah

spoiler (click to show/hide)

C'mom Michael show me your Facebook

[close]

elektrikluv · « **Reply #11 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:21:48 PM »

People who poke me usually send messages alongside it that fully support the poke theory in the OP $:-\$

Robo · « **Reply #12 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:22:55 PM »

Although I do appreciate that these social networks level the playing field for those of us who have inadequate game in a face-to-face scenario. And now I don't have to say anything at all! Thank you, Facebook.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #13 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:27:49 PM »

Quote from: RoboJ on February 01, 2008, 06:22:55 PM

Although I do appreciate that these social networks level the playing field for those of us who have inadequate game in a face-to-face scenario. And now I don't have to say anything at all! Thank you, Facebook.

I'm gonna start poking people irl

elektrikluv · « **Reply #14 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:34:36 PM »

CajoleJuice totally rejected my attempts to sex smiley him :'(

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #15 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:36:36 PM »

I'm gonna go poke ya Maurice

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #16 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:37:21 PM »

Quote from: elektrikluv on February 01, 2008, 06:34:36 PM

CajoleJuice totally rejected my attempts to sex smiley him :'(

I heard women like chasing!

You guys didn't friend me.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #17 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:41:42 PM »

Synth poked me. It's the first time he's acknowledged me on Facebook, ever

elektrikluv · « **Reply #18 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:42:13 PM »

Who thinks poke wars are fun?

Beezy · « **Reply #19 on:** February 01, 2008, 06:42:32 PM »

Quote from: RoboJ on February 01, 2008, 06:11:19 PM

I'm pretty sure most people who poke just do it because they're on fucking facebook and bored. In other words, this guy is an idiot.

basically

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #20 on:** February 01, 2008, 07:00:49 PM »

now I know what Cohen looks like

Junpei the Tracer! · « **Reply #21 on:** February 01, 2008, 07:01:31 PM »

PD is my only friend on Facebook,someone send me some requests! :'(

elektrikluv · « **Reply #22 on:** February 01, 2008, 07:06:47 PM »

Quote from: Junpei the Tracer! on February 01, 2008, 07:01:31 PM

PD is my only friend on Facebook,someone send me some requests! :'(

Link?

Robo · « **Reply #23 on:** February 01, 2008, 07:07:20 PM »

poke my rectum

http://www.facebook.com/people/James_Keller/48504715

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #24 on:** February 01, 2008, 07:08:28 PM »

You're not public.

TVC15 · « **Reply #25 on:** February 01, 2008, 07:10:14 PM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on February 01, 2008, 07:04:13 PM

That was my employee of the week photo.

Poke me, poke me!!!

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #26 on:** February 01, 2008, 07:11:12 PM »

I want to poke TVC's ear, then take his hat off and give him a lapdance

Robo · « **Reply #27 on:** February 01, 2008, 07:13:32 PM »

Quote from: CajoleJuice on February 01, 2008, 07:08:28 PM

You're not public.

i don't know what that means. i am not good with computer

Junpei the Tracer! · « **Reply #28 on:** February 01, 2008, 07:14:14 PM »

Quote from: elektrikluv on February 01, 2008, 07:06:47 PM

Quote from: Junpei the Tracer! on February 01, 2008, 07:01:31 PM
PD is my only friend on Facebook,someone send me some requests! :'(

Link?

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=564554802

Robo · « **Reply #29 on:** February 01, 2008, 07:16:31 PM »

Quote from: Junpei the Tracer! on February 01, 2008, 07:14:14 PM

Quote from: elektrikluv on February 01, 2008, 07:06:47 PM
Quote from: Junpei the Tracer! on February 01, 2008, 07:01:31 PM
PD is my only friend on Facebook,someone send me some requests! :'(

Link?

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=564554802

poke HER!?

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #30 on:** February 01, 2008, 07:16:39 PM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on February 01, 2008, 07:15:23 PM

I foud tvc

I'm already friends with him.

WAIT, JUNPEI WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

demi · « **Reply #31 on:** February 01, 2008, 07:18:28 PM »

Nick's facebook is flooded with pokes from random skeezes

Junpei the Tracer! · « **Reply #32 on:** February 01, 2008, 07:34:00 PM »

Quote from: RoboJ on February 01, 2008, 07:16:31 PM

Quote from: Junpei the Tracer! on February 01, 2008, 07:14:14 PM
Quote from: elektrikluv on February 01, 2008, 07:06:47 PM
Quote from: Junpei the Tracer! on February 01, 2008, 07:01:31 PM
PD is my only friend on Facebook,someone send me some requests! :'(

Link?

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=564554802

poke HER!?

If thats your thing,go ahead but I ain't gonna poke ya back.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #33 on:** February 01, 2008, 07:35:21 PM »

Mona Cook is TVC's joke account. He'll have to show you his real one, and the steamy pics it contains

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #34 on:** February 01, 2008, 08:47:40 PM »

Robo and I are fucking ridiculous soulmates on that movie app.

abrader · « **Reply #35 on:** February 01, 2008, 09:03:02 PM »

I refuse to use facebitch or MyTits

tiesto · « **Reply #36 on:** February 02, 2008, 03:26:27 AM »

One of my exes just poked me the other day, I didn't know what it means till now. This girl wants me so bad, but at least it means I'll always have a booty call whenever I go to visit Buffalo...

xnikki118x · « **Reply #37 on:** February 02, 2008, 04:53:31 AM »

I think when I first got FB I poked my friend and she poked back. Maybe we're lezzies. lulz

elektrikluv · « **Reply #38 on:** February 02, 2008, 06:22:38 AM »

Quote from: xnikki118x on February 02, 2008, 04:53:31 AM

I think when I first got FB I poked my friend and she poked back. Maybe we're lezzies. lulz

There was no intent, being new to FB and all, so your hetrosexuality is still preserved

T-Short · « **Reply #39 on:** February 02, 2008, 12:45:12 PM »

Me and Cajole poked each other

cloudwalking · « **Reply #40 on:** February 02, 2008, 01:12:35 PM »

i always get poked by girls

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #41 on:** February 02, 2008, 01:14:20 PM »

That's because you look like Brandon Routh!

cloudwalking · « **Reply #42 on:** February 02, 2008, 01:22:20 PM »

some chinese chick living in luzern poked me a few weeks ago. i was like "wtf is this" and clicked on her profile. i will admit, she was hot. she had insanely huge breasts for an asian chick. i bet brandon routh would fuck her.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #43 on:** February 02, 2008, 01:24:43 PM »

You should give me her profile, so I can superpoke her.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

with my dick

[close]

Mupepe · « **Reply #44 on:** February 02, 2008, 02:05:02 PM »

Time to start poking people if that's what it means

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #45 on:** February 02, 2008, 03:00:06 PM »

Quote from: Hyoushi on February 02, 2008, 12:45:12 PM

Me and Cajole poked each other

Oh yeah, that was you! I was trying to remember which EB'er I traded pokes with, but never friended...

Mupepe · « **Reply #46 on:** February 02, 2008, 03:01:31 PM »

Quote from: CajoleJuice on February 02, 2008, 03:00:06 PM

Quote from: Hyoushi on February 02, 2008, 12:45:12 PM
Me and Cajole poked each other

Oh yeah, that was you! I was trying to remember which EB'er I traded pokes with, but never friended...

haha that's slutty

T234 · « **Reply #47 on:** February 02, 2008, 03:36:51 PM »

This thread is HOT.

Junpei the Tracer! · « **Reply #48 on:** February 02, 2008, 04:35:20 PM »

CajoleJuice and elektrikluv didn't add me :'(

elektrikluv · « **Reply #49 on:** February 02, 2008, 04:48:27 PM »

I did! Mona Cooks wasn't it? Its you who hasn't accepted my request yet :'(

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #50 on:** February 02, 2008, 04:53:16 PM »

C'mon Junpei post pics. You have no excuse now $:-\$

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #51 on:** February 02, 2008, 05:10:52 PM »

Quote from: cloudwalking on February 02, 2008, 01:22:20 PM

some chinese chick living in luzern poked me a few weeks ago. i was like "wtf is this" and clicked on her profile. i will admit, she was hot. she had insanely huge breasts for an asian chick. i bet brandon routh would fuck her.

POIDH

Junpei the Tracer! · « **Reply #52 on:** February 02, 2008, 05:14:34 PM »

Quote from: elektrikluv on February 02, 2008, 04:48:27 PM

I did! Mona Cooks wasn't it? Its you who hasn't accepted my request yet :'(

Accepted! You're ace

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 02, 2008, 04:53:16 PM

C'mon Junpei post pics. You have no excuse now $:-\$

lulz You don't need to see me.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #53 on:** February 02, 2008, 05:23:13 PM »

I want to see you

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #54 on:** February 02, 2008, 05:28:51 PM »

PD has posted TWICE on my wall for more pics. I mean, wtf?

Bloodwake · « **Reply #55 on:** February 02, 2008, 05:35:15 PM »

Hey guys, if you don't have me yet, add meh.

http://berea.facebook.com/profile.php?id=88201725

elektrikluv · « **Reply #56 on:** February 02, 2008, 05:37:34 PM »

Oh wow I didn't realise you were already on my list

Bloodwake · « **Reply #57 on:** February 02, 2008, 05:40:08 PM »

Alright.

T-Short · « **Reply #58 on:** February 02, 2008, 06:13:47 PM »

Hehe. Poke-sluts

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Author Topic: Have you ever been poked on Facebook? (Read 5490 times)