Author Topic: Valentines Day thread of lies, deceit and bullshit. (Read 2904 times)

ToxicAdam · « **on:** February 08, 2008, 09:30:21 AM »

So, I think this is the year I treat Valentines Day in the same manner as Sweetest Day. I ignore it.

No more wandering through the mall, looking for "the right gift".

No more hovering over the Hallmark stand looking for the right prepackaged thoughts on a card that are both funny and sweet.

No more 200 dollar dinners, packed in a restaurant that overbooked and can't get your meal out to you in less than 45 minutes.

Fuck you, holiday of lies. Fuck you, holiday of making men feel like shit. Fuck you, holiday of consumerism.

-- --

So, how am I going to tell HER about this?? $:-\$ $:-\$

Eric P · « **Reply #1 on:** February 08, 2008, 09:31:14 AM »

i'm going to a mexican place and watching raising arizona on the big screen

i think my valentine's day is pretty awesome.

and my gift was $22

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #2 on:** February 08, 2008, 09:37:58 AM »

I'm starting a revolution here Eric P. Right now, I consider you Joseph Brant (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Brant) in my struggle to free men of this oppressive holiday.

Eric P · « **Reply #3 on:** February 08, 2008, 09:41:38 AM »

i was just reading about him yesterday

weird.

bagofeyes · « **Reply #4 on:** February 08, 2008, 09:42:23 AM »

I hope the female staff don't give me chocolates at work again so I'm not obliged to give back to them next month $:-\$

abrader · « **Reply #5 on:** February 08, 2008, 09:58:54 AM »

haha I get out of valentines day jail free....

im taking my girl on a trip this weekend!

Mupepe · « **Reply #6 on:** February 08, 2008, 10:27:37 AM »

AdmiralViscen · « **Reply #7 on:** February 08, 2008, 10:41:07 AM »

I've never actually gone out on Valentines Day. Day before/after ftw

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #8 on:** February 08, 2008, 12:20:59 PM »

I'm going to see Juno with a friend on Valentines Day, but she's not my Valentines...

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #9 on:** February 08, 2008, 12:32:13 PM »

Yeah, I was hoping to hang out on Valentines with a friend, but she bailed. I'm not big on asking for dates around now - you get a lot of desperate and mentally unstable women (moreso than usual).

Mandark · « **Reply #10 on:** February 08, 2008, 01:00:19 PM »

Quote from: ToxicAdam on February 08, 2008, 09:30:21 AM

So, how am I going to tell HER about this?? $:-\$ $:-\$

This isn't the sort of plan you can pull off on a week's notice. Just take one for the team this V-Day, then in March start laying the groundwork for next year.

You want to take down a major, Hallmark-backed holiday? It's gonna be a marathon, not a sprint.

Rman · « **Reply #11 on:** February 08, 2008, 04:07:20 PM »

What's on the menu, Cohen?

Rman · « **Reply #12 on:** February 08, 2008, 04:11:48 PM »

Bay scallops

I've alway wanted to make a classic scallop ceviche.

Rman · « **Reply #13 on:** February 08, 2008, 04:15:40 PM »

See if you could find some Maine shrimp. They're amazing and have a short winter season.

TVC15 · « **Reply #14 on:** February 08, 2008, 04:20:27 PM »

I've noticed via facebook that people have the tendency to break up around this time of year. I wonder how many of them will reconcile by the time the 14th rolls around, or soon after.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #15 on:** February 08, 2008, 04:24:19 PM »

Quote from: ToxicAdam on February 08, 2008, 09:30:21 AM

So, how am I going to tell HER about this?? $:-\$ $:-\$

You have to explain to her about reciprocity.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #16 on:** February 08, 2008, 04:32:26 PM »

I am going to be in Paris
wanking alone at the top of the Eiffel Tower
wear your beret

EDIT: this is almost a haiku, let's try again

I'll be in Paris
wanking from La Tour Eiffel
pull tight your beret

Tauntaun · « **Reply #17 on:** February 08, 2008, 04:35:58 PM »

Quote from: Raoul Duke on February 08, 2008, 04:24:19 PM

Quote from: ToxicAdam on February 08, 2008, 09:30:21 AM
So, how am I going to tell HER about this?? $:-\$ $:-\$

You have to explain to her about reciprocity.

Sounds like a plan.

Eric P · « **Reply #18 on:** February 08, 2008, 04:37:11 PM »

gay paris you feel
large drops upon your beret
ennui? wee. on you.

demi · « **Reply #19 on:** February 08, 2008, 04:39:10 PM »

Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on February 08, 2008, 04:32:26 PM

I am going to be in Paris
wanking alone at the top of the Eiffel Tower
wear your beret

EDIT: this is almost a haiku, let's try again

I'll be in Paris
wanking from La Tour Eiffel
pull tight your beret

It should be every male's goal to jerk it at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Make your life worth living, Patel.

Alternative Option: Just rub one out in the hotel room

lordmaji · « **Reply #20 on:** February 08, 2008, 04:41:22 PM »

Damn, the thread title describes work well.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #21 on:** February 08, 2008, 04:45:28 PM »

Quote from: demi on February 08, 2008, 04:39:10 PM

It should be every male's goal to jerk it at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Make your life worth living, Patel.

Alternative Option: Just rub one out in the hotel room

Takes out list of 'Things to do before you die.' and adds another.

TVC15 · « **Reply #22 on:** February 08, 2008, 05:22:52 PM »

Quote from: Eric P on February 08, 2008, 04:37:11 PM

gay paris you feel
large drops upon your beret
ennui? wee. on you.

the eiffel tower
i desire to sit on it
ooh la la prostate

Eric P · « **Reply #23 on:** February 08, 2008, 05:27:01 PM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on February 08, 2008, 05:22:52 PM

Quote from: Eric P on February 08, 2008, 04:37:11 PM
gay paris you feel
large drops upon your beret
ennui? wee. on you.

the eiffel tower
i desire to sit on it
ooh la la prostate

i have named my crotch
champ de mars because it too
holds a tour grande

TVC15 · « **Reply #24 on:** February 08, 2008, 05:41:09 PM »

Patel I think you should spend all weekend watching french new wave movies to get in the mood.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #25 on:** February 08, 2008, 07:33:26 PM »

suggest one or two and I'll queue em up

actually I've been meaning to watch Alphaville

uh, again. again!

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #26 on:** February 08, 2008, 07:39:23 PM »

I wish I'd bought Angel-A instead of Netflixing it. That was a fun Paris love movie

I could get Paris, Je t'aime! I really didn't want to though, it sounded like the Juno of indie flix

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #27 on:** February 08, 2008, 08:42:20 PM »

My wife and I don't do Valentine's Day. I do buy her flowers the week before and after V-day, when they're regularly priced.

TVC15 · « **Reply #28 on:** February 08, 2008, 08:49:23 PM »

Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on February 08, 2008, 07:33:26 PM

suggest one or two and I'll queue em up

actually I've been meaning to watch Alphaville

uh, again. again!

400 Blows, Breathless, Bande a Part, Bob le Flambeur, and especially for you, Patel, Hiroshima Mon Amour

Eric P · « **Reply #29 on:** February 08, 2008, 08:52:49 PM »

how about rififi, army of shadows or children of paradise?

TVC15 · « **Reply #30 on:** February 08, 2008, 08:58:30 PM »

Quote from: Eric P on February 08, 2008, 08:52:49 PM

how about rififi, army of shadows or children of paradise?

For whatever reason I was going for the earlier stuff. And Jules Dassin was an American director, so Rififi dun count. And Children of Paradise is older, isn't it?

Eric P · « **Reply #31 on:** February 08, 2008, 09:05:21 PM »

you're absolutely right.

i misread and thought he was going for just french works, not the specific new wave stuff.

well, patel watch those films regardless. also, if you can swing it, check out Monsieur Hulot's Holiday, Mon Oncle and Play Time by Jacques Tati. Playtime is excellent because there's so much happening on the sound stage at once that multiple viewings really rewards the viewer in the richness of background detail

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #32 on:** February 09, 2008, 04:06:09 AM »

Due to sheer luck I'm going to be in a remote and basically inaccessible location this 2/14, curled up with my type theory papers, with nobody under 60 in sight, totally free from feelings of despair and inadequacy. Life is great.

TVC15 · « **Reply #33 on:** February 09, 2008, 04:26:05 AM »

Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on February 09, 2008, 04:06:09 AM

Due to sheer luck I'm going to be in a remote and basically inaccessible location this 2/14, curled up with my type theory papers, with nobody under 60 in sight, totally free from feelings of despair and inadequacy. Life is great.

When in the vices of isolation, those 60 year old nerbos will become wildly sexy, beyond propriety, in the minds eye. You may think you won't be able to feel the shame of being unloved, but you will have to deal with the shame of beating off to a bevy of sexy oldsters that predate the microprocessor. Your "theory papers" will become soaked through and transparent with your oily semen, betraying any secrecy you believe you can hide the shame behind. Take it from me and accept your lot in life, and offer your ass up for a train. It can be a lemon party where one of the fruits isn't quite ripe yet.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #34 on:** February 09, 2008, 04:30:30 AM »

You're not helping at all!

I'm going to go read '70s militant radical feminist tracts until my hatred for all men including myself burns hot enough to eclipse my hatred for myself alone.

TVC15 · « **Reply #35 on:** February 09, 2008, 04:36:54 AM »

Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on February 09, 2008, 04:30:30 AM

You're not helping at all!

I'm going to go read '70s militant radical feminist tracts until my hatred for all men including myself burns hot enough to eclipse my hatred for myself alone.

Here you go, you walking abortion you:

http://gos.sbc.edu/s/solanas.html

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #36 on:** February 09, 2008, 04:37:41 AM »

I already read and re-read and got off on that several hundred times when I was 15, but thanks.

News:

Author Topic: Valentines Day thread of lies, deceit and bullshit. (Read 2904 times)