Rob Zombie, step by step, is slowly undoing everything I used to like about him by churning out unnecessary, bad remakes. Next up?
Conan, possibly. Once again, Zombie is working on films that don't need to be remade and certainly don't need to be remade by him. Will Thulsa Doom be portrayed by William Forsythe, wearing a Coors Lite trucker cap and toting a shotgun? Maybe Sheri can play Valeria, but with tassles and a drunken lisp. To top it off, have Conan (played by Sid Haig) dig up Mako's dead body and shit in his mouth. Fuck you, Rob Zombie. I can't believe I really liked you at one point.
But the best news this weekend was that an
actual talented horror director was remaking a different film, but this one makes sense. Alexandre Aja (who did the really fun Haute Tension and criminally underrated The Hills Have Eyes remake) is taking a film that is ripe for a remake in Joe Dante's Piranha. Piranha was a hokey, cheesy horror film to begin. What great, silly source material to work with to churn out an exciting, fun horror flick. And even better? He's going to make his version of Piranha in
3-D! Day one!