My grandfather is slowly deteriorating

[Phoenix Dark]

Today was my grandfather's brother's 90th birthday; I don't know what that makes him to me family wise, but he's my grandfather's brother so take that as you will. He's perhaps the biggest pimp I've ever seen. He's outlived 3 WIVES and now he's dating this 60 year old woman.

To celebrate, we went to the Old Country Buffet, my least favorite place to eat due to bad experiences in the past. Everyone was supposed to meet there at 1:30, but my family got their first. A couple minutes later my uncle/aunt showed up. We started getting our food; around 2:15 everyone else showed up.

I saw my uncle and dad carrying my grandfather by his shoulders as he slowly shuffled his feet, his eyes looking blank and his mouth open. His clothes looked like they had just been put on; it was clear he wasn't in good shape at all, and certainly wasn't able to go out in public. But my grandma insisted that he come to the dinner since it was in his brother's honor. Just seeing him in that position almost made me sick, and I couldn't eat anything else. He sat with my brothers and I, and for at least 20min it was clear that he could barely recognize us. He could barely talk, and he kept putting his face in his hands.

My grandfather fought in WWII and then worked at Ford for around 45 years shoveling coal. Today, he stays in bed 22hrs a day and doesn't want to take his medicines. Because he stays in the bed so long, he's experiencing atrophy of the muscles. We always try to get him active, but he refuses to do anything unless it's a special occassion (like today).

With this in mind, I was rather upset that he was carted out into the public like this and embarrassed. He kept mumbling he didn't want to come. We could have easily had the dinner at my grandparent's house, which would have prompted him to come downstairs to join the affair. I wish he would listen to everyone's advice and use a wheelchair, but he won't.

Watching my grandparents die before my eyes is painful. I remember when they would play with me as a child, teach me how to sweep floors, and even spank me when I was bad. Now all of them are suffering through one problem or another, and it breaks my heart.

[MrAngryFace]

I saw my grandfather the night before he died and he couldnt even remember me so that was depressing. My other grandfather lived after a stroke took out half his brain and body. Its hard to watch.

But then I realize ill probably die on the toilet with a turd halfway out my butt and the circle of life music starts playing.

Seriously tho, it sucks. However I have made myself cold to my family so that makes it easier for me to joke about.

[Van Cruncheon]

nobody's gonna live forever ,dude, and when you hit a certain distant age, the ball really starts to roll.

I'm about to get hit with a spate of dead grandparents -- they're all completely gone and ready to shuffle off.

[Phoenix Dark]

I always knew they'd die, and I'd feel better about it if they weren't in so much pain currently. Dying brings peace, but it sucks when you have to suffer for years before you die, and that's what's happening to my grandfather (on my mom's side. My dad's father died before I was born).

My grandma on my mom's side has cancer, but she's doing pretty good. Most of it was removed, and she stays active. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever met. Not in terms of looks, but just her spirt and attitude. She's fiery, and when I was little I was in awe and in love and afraid of her at the same time.

My grandma on my dad's side just turned 82, and she's doing ok. She has really bad arthiritis; before she came up north the only job she could get was as a laundry woman; she washed white people's clothes in water buckets outside, since she wasn't allowed inside the building. Even during the winter they wouldn't let her in. Now she has chronic arthiritis. But she's extremely lively and has a great sense of humor

[Cheebs]

Wow, that is sad, I am glad my grand parents aren't at that age yet. Weird though. I am one year older than you yet my grandparents are all late 60's-early 70's and they didn't have kids young nor did my parents!

[Takuan]

I can only imagine it being very tough when a dear family member begins to slow down and lose responsiveness. All I can say is to keep those memories in your heart and be thankful you had the pleasure of knowing that person when he/she was at his best. Every one of us will go at some time or another, so all we can do is live our lives and embrace those close to our hearts. Just keep your head up and remember the good times, PD!

[Loki]

Sorry to hear about that, PD.  Keep your head up.

My remaining three grandparents are 83, 84, and 87 years old.  I try not to think about them dying too much because it just kills me, especially my mother's parents (and my mother's father in particular, who is just incredibly special to me; he's the 87 year old).  They have most of their faculties, and are in relatively good health, but it's obviously just a matter of time.  As hard as it is -- and I can't even think about it without breaking down, so I know -- you just have to tell yourself that you were fortunate to have them in your life, and that they were blessed with a long and hopefully fulfilling life.  Remember the good.

My mother's parents were basically a second set of parents to my sister and I growing up.  We'd sleep over their house most weekends and visit frequently besides.  My grandfather is like a father to me in many ways; I'll never be as close to another man as long as I live, and that's sad.  He's just the most wonderful person.  He's had several mini-strokes the last few years (which he's thankfully recovered from), so I know how devastating it is when those you love don't recognize you and can't communicate. 

[Himu]

My grandfather has lung cancer. I feel bad that I don't feel a thing though. He got it from smoking.