There is a screenplay in my inbox

[The Fake Shemp]

I am being told to read it for moneys.

[bagofeyes]

how much?

[The Fake Shemp]

I will not disclose.  A tidy sum.  If they decide to do re-writes, it might be handed off to me for a contract.  I haven't even read the screenplay, but I don't even like the promotional material or the cast involved.  It's moving forward regardless, now that they have actual, real Hollywood folks involved, but I don't know if I really want my name near this.

[Van Cruncheon]

coincidentally, i am watching the christmas ep of extras right now

[The Fake Shemp]

I wish I was working on something as awesome as Extras, but then I'd have real money, not dirty poor money.

[Flannel Boy]

I will not disclose.  A tidy sum.  If they decide to do re-writes, it might be handed off to me for a contract.  I haven't even read the screenplay, but I don't even like the promotional material or the cast involved.  It's moving forward regardless, now that they have actual, real Hollywood folks involved, but I don't know if I really want my name near this.

It would be an opportunity to work on a screenplay, giving you crucial experience. Though you may not like this particular screenplay, working on it may help you get a better writing job in the future. And maybe then you will be able to afford a bed frame.

[The Fake Shemp]

I already can afford a platform bed!

I've worked on other screenplays.  This one has a good chance of being one folks might actually know, even in a sort of, "Oh my God, you worked on that?" way.  I don't think there's a lot I can really gain from working on this project.  It would be a struggle to re-write considering the talent involved and it has a very fixed production schedule already.  I'm not sure why they are this far ahead in pre-production when the concept doesn't even seem rock solid, yet.

[Flannel Boy]

Though I know very little about films, and even less about how they are made, I think it would be foolish to turn down work.

[The Fake Shemp]

I've already given Prole a synopsis.  Maybe he will chime in and tell you how ludicrous this screenplay seems.  The only good thing I can see is that the dialogue is not awful... so far.

[Van Cruncheon]

it's the next brokeback mountain, you'd be a fool not to take it

[CajoleJuice]

Though I know very little about films, and even less about how they are made, I think it would be foolish to turn down work.

It's like demi turning down sex.

oh wait

[TVC15]

Willco, you should read my short story that I want to make into a screenplay..  It is like 1960s-70s Roman Polanski had sex with a jew and this is the baby.

[Flannel Boy]

.

[TVC15]

Actually, it is like Roman Polanski DRUGGED and RAPED a BABY JEW and this is that baby jew's baby.

[The Fake Shemp]

After they actually use this concept art and promotional material for this promotional event they got Pepsi to cough up money for, I'll see if I can post it here.  It's pretty awful, but very funny.

[The Fake Shemp]

Finished it and jotting down my notes.  There is a good concept here, buried under some awful character interactions, cliche plot devices and one of the worst climaxes since Harry Knowles lost his virginity.  How the writer manages to take one of the few voiceovers that works, and works well, and manages to fuck it up by making it a hokey plot device, when a horribly misused and irrelevant character could be re-written to be used as a much more coherent plot device instead is beyond me.  It's like, somebody skipped Screenwriting 101.

[Raban]

Willco I'm actually really interested in getting into film and Hollywood and all that jazz but I have a really good feeling I probably wouldn't fit in at all.

I mean, I wanna direct and write movies, but ehhhh

How the hell do you get started in that field?

[Himu]

is this shake's screenplay

[Powerslave]

Sleeping on the ground is fucking awesome

[The Fake Shemp]

I mean, I wanna direct and write movies...

I'd find one thing you like to do and stick with it.  Keep in mind that there are more parts of film production than just directing and writing.  And very few folks can rarely pull off both.  I don't think I'd be a good director and I really have no ambition for it.

How the hell do you get started in that field?

Same way all folks do - just try.

is this shake's screenplay

Miles Trahan is actually probably a better scribe than the one who penned this screenplay.  I mean, if you're going to go with cliche, at least make it somewhat entertaining.

The producer is flying out next week with the director and a few of the crew to get some pre-production and promotional work done for the film.  There is growing concern that the writer/director will not make considerable re-writes, which must occur for this flick to remotely work on any kind of level, before principal.  The producer plans to use my notes to try and make a case for several re-writes, and to bring me onboard.  I definitely have a few ideas on how to make this work without starting from scratch, which apparently would be a rule, but I don't know if I have the heart to work on this for just indie writer money.

[Ichirou]

What gave you the idea that Trahan's screenplay qualified as entertaining?  You ever tried to read that thing?  I couldn't get past the first few pages, it was so bad.

[Phoenix Dark]

Willco (and Ichi, TVC, etc): What are some of the best written films in your opinion, and what makes a screenplay good? I asked Shake earlier and the first to come to his mind were The Third Man, Chinatown, and Pulp Fiction

[Raban]

I mean, I wanna direct and write movies...

I'd find one thing you like to do and stick with it.  Keep in mind that there are more parts of film production than just directing and writing.  And very few folks can rarely pull off both.  I don't think I'd be a good director and I really have no ambition for it.

I have a little faith in myself that I'd be able to balance those two positions. I mean there's no way to tell until I get there, but writing is something the comes to me very easily. I try never to overestimate myself, but writing is just a natural talent for me.

And yeah, I know production crews are pretty big but those are the positions I'd want to fill. I just want to be the one who makes the story and makes sure it translates off of the paper well.

[Eric P]

Actually, it is like Roman Polanski DRUGGED and RAPED a BABY JEW and this is that baby jew's baby.

ah, so it's a documentary

[The Fake Shemp]

Willco (and Ichi, TVC, etc): What are some of the best written films in your opinion, and what makes a screenplay good? I asked Shake earlier and the first to come to his mind were The Third Man, Chinatown, and Pulp Fiction

Transformers and the Michael Bay penned Transformers 2.

[bagofeyes]

lol @ shake's textbook answer

[FlameOfCallandor]

Is it common practice in the industry to pay gamestop employees to read scripts?

[The Fake Shemp]

I think it's odd that he picked two films (Chinatown and Pulp Fiction), that I really, really like, but owe more to direction and acting than writing.  Don't get me wrong - I don't knock Tarantino and Avary's script (it is good), but I think Pulp Fiction is more about the actors and the director than the snappy Tarantino dialogue.  It's a good script, but probably not the standard for screenwriting.

Chinatown on the other hand, is a another good screenplay (in my opinion), elevated by amazing work from Polanski and Nicholson.  It's one of my favorite films, but I think it's easy to argue that the plot construction is a bit of a mess.  Polanski also made significant changes to Towne's draft (good changes, mind you), so I see this as more of a Polanski effort than a Robert Towne masterpiece.  Nicholson turns in one of his best performances ever, which is easy considering Towne was his best friend and the role was tailor made for Nicholson.  Towne never sniffed another film as good as Chinatown, another indicator that Chinatown was more about execution than writing.

Is it common practice in the industry to pay gamestop employees to read scripts?

Hey, we all need day jobs.  Not everyone can be famous directors like yours- oh wait.

[FlameOfCallandor]

I think my favorite recent screenplay is Adaptation. Genius.

[The Fake Shemp]

Anything Kaufman touches is pretty much gold.  He is amazing screenwriter, but I hate using him as an example, because let's face it, nobody is going to eclipse him as a screenwriter.  He does things screenwriters can only dream of getting away with, because he's that good.  He's non-conventional and incredibly creative, which are two awful attributes if you're not a terribly good screenwriter.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I like the screenplay to Unforgiven!

It was good enough that Eastwood bought it and sat on it for 20 years til he was old enough to play the part.

http://www.weeklyscript.com/Unforgiven.txt

[The Fake Shemp]

Unforgiven is a fantastic screenplay.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

David Webb Peoples
Unforgiven
12 Monkeys
Blade Runner
Ladyhawke 

One man, three to three point five awesomes.

I still want to see Hero, solely because he wrote it!

[The Fake Shemp]

The best part of the draft I read last night was that the antagonist has a goat, and this evil redneck sherrif shoots the goat, thus kickstarting a violent climax built on revenge.  He shot his goat!  Now he must die!  And no, it is not played for laughs.

[Eric P]

The best part of the draft I read last night was that the antagonist has a goat, and this evil redneck sherrif shoots the goat, thus kickstarting a violent climax built on revenge.  He shot his goat!  Now he must die!  And no, it is not played for laughs.

what?

no.  don't kill the goat.  if this is redneck country, tow then sell his sweet, sweet car.

that'll get your ass killed

[The Fake Shemp]

The goat is the closest thing the character has to family and that bastard sheriff shoots the goat!  Then the sheriff is like, "We won't let that sumbitch walk alive.  I'm going to shoot him dead, like his goat, but let's make it look like tried to take us out first.  Like we always do."

The evil citizen to good citizen ratio in this small backwater town is awfully skewed towards evil.  Nobody is remotely likeable.

[Eric P]

you ever been to a small backwater town?

edit: i'd get rid of the goat.  give the guy a pregnant girlfriend, but he doesn't know she's pregnant until after the autopsy.  then make the fetus a boy.

then the guy can go around like "you killed my son"

hell or just change the venue to alabama then you don't have to scrap the goat or my introduced first act trauma.  merge them

rename it "Billy's Goat's Gruff"

[Tauntaun]

Would you like a penis something else in your inbox? 

[Howard Alan Treesong]

maybe he really likes the goat

[TVC15]

you ever been to a small backwater town?

edit: i'd get rid of the goat.  give the guy a pregnant girlfriend, but he doesn't know she's pregnant until after the autopsy.  then make the fetus a goat.

fix'd

I have no idea what I'd pick for a faux objective list of the best screenplays.  The screenplays I tend to like aren't typical, so they wouldn't fit safely on a best screenplay list.  Or some of them might be foreign and I really don't know how to judge foreign writing, really.

[The Fake Shemp]

Yeah, I hate making lists too.  I tend to like non-conventional screenplays.  I give credit where credit is due, but I'm not going to say, "Casablanca is Duke of Hollywood, A NUMBER ONE!"

[Eric P]

i thought the casablanca screenplay was a mess and was being rewritten up to moments before some scenes were filmed

[Howard Alan Treesong]

you'll never make it with the AFI in this town

[The Fake Shemp]

i thought the casablanca screenplay was a mess and was being rewritten up to moments before some scenes were filmed

It had re-writes during the shoot, but it is widely regarded as the best screenplay of all-time.  Casablanca is the textbook answer to "What is the best screenplay of all-time?" in film school circles.

you'll never make it with the AFI in this town

But I like the screenplay for Network!

[Eric P]

you'll never make it with the AFI in this town

I AM A MEMBER OF THE AFI

It had re-writes during the shoot, but it is widely regarded as the best screenplay of all-time.  Casablanca is the textbook answer to "What is the best screenplay of all-time?" in film school circles.

weird.  i don't really read scripts though.  i think i read blue velvet and that's about it.

[TVC15]

Yeah, I hate making lists too.  I tend to like non-conventional screenplays.  I give credit where credit is due, but I'm not going to say, "Casablanca is Duke of Hollywood, A NUMBER ONE!"

You know I like my Kubrick screenplays, which tend to feature very little dialogue but pay insane attention to the visual details of the scene.  That's like, by definition, what a screenplay SHOULD NOT be, but I'll be damned if I don't like reading me his Napoleon screenplay.  

Also, Taxi Driver is one of my favorites, but that movie has a significant amount of improvisation in it.  How do I count that when determining how well written a screenplay is?

Fritz Lang's M would also be one of my contenders. . .but it's in German, so I don't feel adequate judging its quality since I am not familiar with the language.

I also think Chinatown is a somewhat "safe" pic.  I think Polanski's earlier films are much more interesting.  Nobody could play a psychological angle like that man.  Chinatown makes it on all sorts of best lists, and while it is a great movie, I don't think it ranks as one of Polanski's best.  Jack is fuck awesome in it, though.  <3 Jack.  Rosemary's Baby would maybe be my pick.  How many truly well-written horror movies are there?  Not many!  Hmm, maybe I would pick Repulsion.  So hard to pick just one.

Oh shit, Network is a good pick for a well-written screenplay.  Amaaaaaazing movie.

[The Fake Shemp]

Network circle jerk starts now!

[TVC15]

Also, I am guessing that we are supposed to exclude Hitchcock on account of him being basically perfect?

[Howard Alan Treesong]

You know I like my Kubrick screenplays, which tend to feature very little dialogue but pay insane attention to the visual details of the scene.  That's like, by definition, what a screenplay SHOULD NOT be, but I'll be damned if I don't like reading me his Napoleon screenplay. 

Have you ever seen an Alan Moore script?

[Howard Alan Treesong]

what about SNEAKERS

SNEAKERS has a great screenplay

[TVC15]

You know I like my Kubrick screenplays, which tend to feature very little dialogue but pay insane attention to the visual details of the scene.  That's like, by definition, what a screenplay SHOULD NOT be, but I'll be damned if I don't like reading me his Napoleon screenplay. 

Have you ever seen an Alan Moore script?

No, what has he written a script for himself?

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Watchmen (first and last pages): http://home.insightbb.com/~fourcolorheros/free/WatchmenScript.pdf

The Killing Joke (first 12 pages): http://fourcolorheroes.home.insightbb.com/killingjokescript.html

[Himu]

Miles Trahan is actually probably a better scribe than the one who penned this screenplay.  I mean, if you're going to go with cliche, at least make it somewhat entertaining.

The producer is flying out next week with the director and a few of the crew to get some pre-production and promotional work done for the film.  There is growing concern that the writer/director will not make considerable re-writes, which must occur for this flick to remotely work on any kind of level, before principal.  The producer plans to use my notes to try and make a case for several re-writes, and to bring me onboard.  I definitely have a few ideas on how to make this work without starting from scratch, which apparently would be a rule, but I don't know if I have the heart to work on this for just indie writer money.

awesome

[TVC15]

I've always wanted to read a Malick script.

I want to read Antonioni's script for Blow-up.  There's soooooo little talking in that movie. 

Watchmen (first and last pages): http://home.insightbb.com/~fourcolorheros/free/WatchmenScript.pdf

The Killing Joke (first 12 pages): http://fourcolorheroes.home.insightbb.com/killingjokescript.html

Those are jokes, right?  Right?

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Those are jokes, right?  Right?

Do these look like the eyes of a man who jokes?

[TVC15]

That reminds me my wife wanted to see that.  The idea of objectively judging a screenplay has struck me as odd, as if the final product can be taken out of the picture.  i guess it's the focus on traditional narrative technique that bothers me, hence that is why the quieter pieces would be interesting to read. 

My favorite movies are typically the ones that probably have screenplays that would never sell.  Would anyone have purchased, say, Blue Velvet if Lynch weren't making it himself?  Same way with any of Kubrick's non-chatty movies.  A script that is not dialogue based will simply not sell.  And when a director is making his own unconventional movie based off his own unconventional script, chances are it's going to be really interesting or personal, or elaborate on a concept which it would be difficult for a "mercenary" director to latch on to.

But yeah, check out Blow-up.  It's one of my favorites.  Be prepared for a cromulent amount of artiness.

Those are jokes, right?  Right?

Do these look like the eyes of a man who jokes?

(Image removed from quote.)

What would we find if we did a tox test on one of his strands of hair?  I bet we could smoke that man's hair to get high.

[Eric P]

Watchmen (first and last pages): http://home.insightbb.com/~fourcolorheros/free/WatchmenScript.pdf

The Killing Joke (first 12 pages): http://fourcolorheroes.home.insightbb.com/killingjokescript.html

i would love to read the From Hell scripts

[TVC15]

I've seen Blow-Up before, but it was in my art-faggy highschool days and i can't remember shit about it.  There is a criterion right?

Actually, no.  The only edition is a shitty cardboard case one. Some of Antonioni's other movies are Criterion'd.  He got his financing from multiple sources, so someone lame might own the rights to it.

[brawndolicious]

I just imagined a movie about producers buying scientology cult gift certificates in bulk and selling it to their writers for screenplays while Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis team up to find out the conspiracy behind movie studios reviving action movie franchises that didn't need another sequel.  I'd call it The Gift Certificate.

[The Fake Shemp]

The director called me this morning.  He's agreed to do a re-write, but it sounds like he personally wants to do it.  I might be out of a contract regardless.  Oh well, no real loss - this would've been a pain in the ass to work on anyway.