EvilBlog: 022108/Today I threw up on the bus

[TVC15]

Dear EvilBlog,

Today started off terrible and my perception of reality only made things worse.  Things reached a nadir at only 9:50AM, about 7 hours early for me.  It's usually not until I return home from work and contemplate the futility of my existence that I feel the day's at its worst, and if today follows that cycle, and things progressively get worse throughout the afternoon, fear tells me there may not be another blog entry.

When I say today started off terrible, I mean terrible in relation to my normal mornings. Now, a normal morning for me would probably rank as terrible for a normal person, what with the frequent nausea, inability to sleep, tendency to overthink things during idle cycles, driving me to neurosis and paranoia, but this morning was bad even for me.  Why?  Because I had to go to the fucking post office.

The Fucking Post Office won't leave packages at my apartment, so I have to go to the Fucking Post Office to get any packages.  Going to the Fucking Post Office entails standing in line for a half hour, as Fucking Old People send out Fucking Ebay Shit and Fucking Mexicans have to get the Fucking Postal Employees to put Fucking Stamps on their Fucking Normal Envelopes because they are too Fucking Stupid to do the Fucking Math themselves at the Fucking Self Serve desk.  It doesn't help that the Fucking Two Employees at the Fucking Post Office appear to be Fucking Inbred.  I ended up missing my Fucking Bus by Fucking Five Minutes and having to wait at the Fucking Bus Stop for a Half Fucking Hour because of Fucking Old People and Fucking Minorities.

So of course I was all wound up.  While waiting at the bus stop, I noted that my normal morning nausea had not subsided.  This was not usual.  What was also not usual was when I puked on the fucking bus several minutes later.  Luckily, the bus was almost empty, and I was able to subtly vomit on my seat.  The bellagio-style vomit would come later.

I ended up basically coming home as soon as I got to work.  Heck, I got sick on the bus, so it wasn't like I could immediately turn around and go home.  In short, I wish I were dead and my mouth is bleeding again.  Cry. 

[Howard Alan Treesong]

  :'(

[Tauntaun]

   Sorry to hear that man, hope you feel better soon.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

if it makes you feel any better (it won't) since I've come back from Europe I've been going to bed at 10 PM and waking up at 6 AM and only half-sleeping in terrible hour-long spurts follow by an hour of lying awake in bed wondering why I can't get to sleep because I haven't been sleeping so I should be tired, right?

and having REALLY WEIRD DREAMS

I had a dream about a buffet last night and I can still tell you like 7-8 of the food items in great detail.

[Barry Egan]

It's terrifying to think that you prefer your current lifestyle to your younger years, TVC.

[Eric P]

jesus, what did he do in his younger years?

[Howard Alan Treesong]

have you ever read 120 days of sodom

[Robo]

I want to hear more about this dream buffet.  Mine usually only features powdered eggs.

[Eric P]

have you ever read 120 days of sodom

just the reader's digest condensed version.

30 days of handjobs

[Akala]

That sucks.  

"Bellagio-style vomit" made me grin though.

******

On a seperate note, this could be a residual side-effect stemming from CSI: Miami overdose.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I want to hear more about this dream buffet.  Mine usually only features powdered eggs.

there was a pepperoni and cheese platter with some water crackers, some crispy whole ducks on a rotisserie roasting in their own fats, some twice baked potatoes with cheese and chives on top, mashed potatoes too of course (chunky, with garlic), some juicy steaks grilled in a spicy marinade, deviled eggs...that's all I can remember off hand. it was so awesome. boy was I pissed to wake up and have a Yoplait Lite Yoghurt for breakfast ;___;

[DJ_Tet]

Epic story.

The Fucking Post Office is the bane of my Fucking Existence.  I too live in an antiquated apartment complex where people were so fucking rude as to let their packages fester in the office.  In turn, our package reception priviledge was revoked and I too have to go to the Fucking Post Office to get packages.

Of course, once I had to go to the Fucking UPS Office, I had a whole new respect for the Fucking Post Office.

[Rman]

I hate the fact the post office doesn't deliver to my apartment as well.  That's why I usually use my work address.  I don't know if you work at home, TVC, but I could feel your pain.  I hate the post office.  Feel better.

[Himu]

im sorry that we minoritites had to ruin your day tvc

[Mr. Gundam]

Sorry, man. Hope you start feeling better. 

[TVC15]

I ended up sleeping all day, and I had a most curious dream.

I dreamt I was in some downtown area modeled after some cross between Victorian London and some sort of generic Christmas Village.  I was there with two hoodie-wearing teenage girls, and when they wandered off to do drugs in some sort of public utilities building, I went into a bookstore and asked the clerk where their books were.  Then one of the girls got kidnapped, I discovered upon returning, and I tracked the kidnapper to some 5 story giant victorian garage from hell.  I eventually shot the kidnapper in the leg and it fell.

So I go up to the kidnapper, and remove their hood, and it was fucking Buffy Summers, except she had REALLY large ears, going concave around her head, making some sort of fleshy hood.  Her earlobes went down to her shoulders and she was bald.  I was about to ask what the fuck happened, but then the SHERIFF came and shot her in the back with a shotgun, and her blood sprayed cinematically onto a pile of snow that was for some reason in the middle of this victorian christmas village garage structure.  I was kind of pissed because I wanted answers.

Then it got stranger, and I watched a MAKING OF segment of the dream, where Sarah Michelle Gellar talked about how annoying that ear hood prosthesis was, and one of the actresses playing the drug abusing teenagers said her grades fell ten whole points while doing research to play this role.

Then I woke up and I couldn't move, but it felt like my fucking cat was crawling up my back, and I just about shit myself, and then I fell asleep for another hour.

[Barry Egan]

I love how your dreams have DVD commentary