Basements not the safest place during tornadoes?

[MrAngryFace]

MEMPHIS, TN—Officials from the National Weather Service issued a severe weather alert for all basements in Tennessee Tuesday after a deadly new weather phenomenon ravaged scores of residential downstairs areas, leaving every other part of the houses completely untouched. The recently discovered targeted cyclones, known as basement tornadoes, tore through cellars all over the state, killing dozens and injuring hundreds.

Calling the recent devastation the worst indoor weather event in U.S. history, weather service director Dr. John L. Hayes said that millions of residents who have for years been taught to seek shelter from twisters by taking refuge in their homes will have to drastically adjust long-held assumptions about tornado safety and preparedness.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/tennessee_helpless_against_new

[Tauntaun]

The ramifications of this news has choked out my JO fantasy with Mups. 

[CajoleJuice]

God is trying to wipe out the South. How ironic.

[Joe Molotov]

I guess I have no choice now but to find an old barn, strap myself to a pole, and jack off directly into the vortex.

[The Fake Shemp]

THE TORNADOES ARE EVOLVING!

[Mupepe]

God is trying to wipe out the South. How ironic.

Fuck you

[Tauntaun]

I guess I have no choice now but to find an old barn, strap myself to a pole, and jack off directly into the vortex.

Sounds like a job for two, if you catch my drift. 

[xnikki118x]

That's pretty fucked up.

I know they always told us to go to a bathroom in the event of an earthquake, because all the plumbing keeps the room more stable than others. If you can't do that, stand braced in a doorway because they're supportive somehow.

I bet the best spot ever would be in a doorway in a bathroom in a basement, right? lol

[brawndolicious]

I always assumed the basement was a stupid place anyway. If theres only one way in and the house crumbles on you and on your only exit you're fucked.

If the house breaks apart, wouldn't the pieces get blown away or something?

[T234]

 

[Eric P]

If the house breaks apart, wouldn't the pieces get blown away or something?

That's possible but you know what else is possible? Terrorists taking control of Tornadoes and fucking your shit up.

that sounds like that michael crichton novel where global warming scientists controlled the weather to get more funding or something.

[Tauntaun]

If the house breaks apart, wouldn't the pieces get blown away or something?

That's possible but you know what else is possible? Terrorists taking control of Tornadoes and fucking your shit up.

that sounds like that michael crichton novel where global warming scientists controlled the weather to get more funding or something.

And then raped some babies! 

[CajoleJuice]

So everyone was in on this joke, right?