You start the day off feeling hung over, but that can't be right you didn't drink last night. hmm. So You make yourself a nice healthy breakfast because it's Saturday morning and you have time for that, cheesy eggs, hashbrowns, and sausage, de-fucking-liscious.
Oh, what's this, a little stomach ache, maybe you shouldn't have eaten so much, time to pop a Tums.
Oh Jehovah, what is this pain in your stomach, the Tums, they do nothing!
RUN RUN fuck yes, you made it to the bathroom just in time to spew out a firehose of breakfast, water, juice, and god knows what else... what is this pleasant tingling in your face, arms, and back.'
It feels like a freezer in here, turn the heat up. What? it's already at 90? Oh god I can;t tell if that's a fart or a shart...
It was a shart. What's that? you have to pee? where is this liquid coming from?
OMFG, peeing makes you shit! now there is liquid shit on your bathroom floor. Oh god, more firehose vomiting.
At least you should sleep well tonight.
Why are you awake at 4am?
