Well if your physical isn't "coming up" soon, I would make an app't quicker and go in there, have it checked out. Because stuff on the balls is NO JOKE, you know what I mean? It could be something completely different.
In my case, I was at E3 99 (I'm not trying to brag or whatever, it's just the first time I remember it happening and I also really loved that E3 so it's how I remember it) and I all of a sudden had this sharp ass pain in my bladder. I was like, what the fuck, and I kinda had to piss too, so I went to the bathroom, pissed... and the pain went away. And then like 7 times out of 10 if I got a somewhat full bladder, it hurt enough to have to stop what I'm doing to take a leak. Lots of fun on long trip!
So then one day I was totally beating off and I was like, whoa, what the fuck is this weird like, extra little ball to the right of my right testicle? It was all dull feeling, like numb but not quite - and of course that shit was disturbing so I immediately called 911 and had an ambulance come and pick me up!
No, I'm lying about that last part. I did call a doctor and I very quietly whispered to the nurse, "uh there seems to be some kind of a lump by my testicles", and she made an appointment for me to come in. I swear dude, I was praying to god and changing my evil ways - I think I even stopped Bopping the Bishop, which I haven't done since I went insane and joined the Mormons for a few months back in the early 90s - almost ready to cry when I laid down on the table so he could get a better look at the boys.
But he took one look, kinda chuckled knowingly and said "oh, that's a hernia. We'll get to that" and made an appointment for me to have surgery a week later.
The surgery was no thang whatsoever; I mean, I had heart surgery when I was a youngin' so I'm not THAT scared, anymore. You get sedated, then they put the mask on your face, and then you're out pretty damn soon after that. I swear to god these surgeons were blasting Zep as I passed the fuck out! I mean, it's that routine for these dudes.
I woke up a little while later, convalesed in the recovery area for a while - where I kept making the fucking alarms go off because I'm a shallow breather and they thought I was falling out! So I had to keep taking deep breaths. I didn't feel a fucking THING, I couldn't believe how NOT in pain I was.
I went home a little while after that, and after climbing the steps back to my loft, the pain DEFINITELY was happening and that was just really shitty. I threw up a few times, which sucks because you think you're going to rip the stitches out of your crotch - and fuck, you just might - what I really wanted was to smoke a bowl because that cures nausea like a mofo but having a rip would just make me cough and that's fucking with the stitches too and.... ahhhh, the recovery part is the hardest part.
AND my dick turned black. I swear to god. It gets all bruised and that motherfucker is BLACK. I was a little, you know, that much close to being Da Illest F'REAL - hahahahah Cornies' wigger fantasies come true - but my dick also HURT so I couldn't really play with it. But I did, you know, cause I'm an addict
