here i am, doped out of my fucking skull on the following medicine cabinet cocktail. smooth groove, don't you give me shit, i got me a cold that's nastier than himu's mom's perforated and cheese-slicked meat curtains. here's the recipe, jigs:
2 tablets benadryl
4 tablets ibuprofen
2 or 4 tablets of pseudoephedrine, can't remember if i took some when i got up or not: oh well!
1 big ol' fuckin' swig from the robitussin dm bottle, i mean WOW serious quaff on the way out the dooor this morning HOO
buncha multi-vitamins and this calmz stuff my wife left on the pc
2 cups of quadshot espresso
and it is this melange of various polysyllabic chemicals that's keeping me awake this morning, although as maf and tvc will attest, the thin red line that separates my mouth from the cretinous discourse of my brain is frayed to microfiber. i'm pretty sure i abandoned full-on sanity roundabout 11am pst.
so god of war. beat it on EASY, which was ridiculously EASY but a fun romp nonetheless. took me a good 8 hours, and there were some memorable fights, although it was clearly taxing the psp on a few technical fronts, particularly when there were a lot of alpha and pseudo-hdr effects in the same vicinity. also, some of the death animations are a little underanimated and not nearly pornographic enough. that said, the overall flow of the game feels a LOT better than the original god of war, and even the boss battles are better considered. the biggest gameplay improvement is adding the royal-guard-for-tards shield of hermes or whatever, which lets you block and cancel attacks, although its execution is more mortal combat cancel/parry (huge windows, canceling behavior is very limited to proscriptive moments) than sf3/dmc. the game also does a good job of making the gauntlet of zeus an entertaining weapon (unlike the alt weapons in previous gow titles), allowing you to charge up massive high-damage single strikes that shatter armor send enemies flying. i really found the boss fights more memorable in this one, too -- the second fight with charon brings the lulz (the first encounter is a stupid YOU HAFTA LOSE IT scenario), as does the fight with persephone. if those are considered spoilers, FUCK YOU.
oh, and the game has the single BEST shitty-ass QFE event ever
spoiler (click to show/hide)
slowly tap circle to ABANDON YOUR DAUGHTER
i shit you not
graphics are great overall, although there's some ugly screen tearing when you have a heavy alpha volume like the stupid save point in a faux-hdr scene. lotsa art titties (eos was hot, persephone not so much), some gorgeous environments (temple of helios) and some bland ones (styx riverbanks), and a blessed lack of real puzzles beyond the PULL THIS LEVER or STEP ON THIS SWITCH type. i was never impeded once save for when i forgot that kratos could scale certain walls -- hurr. pretty, dumb, somewhat memorable fun. for the rankings feggits, i'd give it a flat B.
i've beat 10 maps in wild arms xf, and wow, it's a pretty innovative little srpg. at first i was OMG and then i was MEH THIS IS WEIRD I HAVE ALL THESE COOL CLASSES WHY CAN'T I GRIND AND WHY AM I LOSING and then i realized the game spells it all out for me if i would stop trying to play it like disgaea or fft. so hint: the first 6 maps are a VERY well-integrated tutorial to the game's way of thinking; it just supposed that you aren't so stupid that you'll need it spelled out for you because why should they design games for distinguished mentally-challenged 1up reviewers and not reasonably intelligent gamers? i kept repeating map 3 like a moron wondering why i couldn't hit the level 20 enemy and trying to fathom what battle trick i was supposed to use to kill him even though when i finally stopped skipping text the new party member SEZ "i should use my unique warp skill to get close to that switch and zap it with my unique lightning skill, i'm here for special tactical scenarios that's what i'm good at and HEY READ MY PRE-BATTLE PSYCHIC REPORT!" i punched myself in the face and realized that the early victory conditions require me NOT to kill everything (or even anyone) -- which goes against my hoshigami-fostered grind mentality -- and to study the map before battle, pick the right classes and configurations based on labrynthia's report, and go to it.
fortunately, there are also lots of random grind maps you can use to level classes and characters up after mission 7. you can also start making custom characters then, which you can buy at any level up to a max of clarissa's (the lead, she tells it all) level. the classes/jobs are all very unique and have all sorts of situational skills which are often completely necessary for puzzle maps.
the "time limit" shit -- vitality points (vp) -- the idiot 1up reviewer bitched about is a non-issue. it in no way resembles jeanne d'arc's annoying turn limit. every character has an amount of vp based on their class and level, and as they take actions vp will reduce. when they are out of vp, they are effectively worthless. YIKES you say, but peep this, fegs: there are many, many skills and items to restore vp, AND vp only drops quickly when you put heavy armor and weapons on a light/mage job/class -- this is to ALLOW you to create heavily-armored tank mages, but at the price of only having them available for a few rounds or to require you to waste item/skill slots on vp management abilities. light characters, even those with low max vp, and trundle on for-freakin'-ever.
lastly, music and production values are through the roof, and the game is just freakin' smart. it gives you grindy bits, puzzle-y bits, and lots and lots of stats and stuff to tweak, customize, and play around with. the only real problem i had was map 1-5, which was a dumb pass/fail stealth mission that required you to make everyone a high RFX (reflex) class (RFX makes characters' turns pop up faster) and to watch guard patterns. apparently its the only mission like that in the game, and thankfully, you can quickly restart a botched mission. GET THIS GAME, SRPG fegs.
okay i'm gonna go to sleep under my desk.
