Author Topic: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --  (Read 1540 times)

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MrAngryFace

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The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« on: November 03, 2006, 04:53:09 PM »


I was at lunch today, participating in the Great Experiment known as Denny's. I had ordered a cup of coffee to get my blood gushin for some HIGH IMPACT eating. I was going to eat a burger, and not just any burger, a DENNY'S BURGER.

Many times before I had set myself before this Burger Feast, and never before had I questioned its existence. Yet as the image of Zombz large chest burned into my retinas and the Apple Jacks Fiasco fresh in my mind, I look upon my "Burger" in a new light. A new terrible light. I looked at the burger and it spoke:

"Tonight. You"

I wept as openly as a character on Dawson's creep as I took the large knife in my hand and proceeded to cut the thing in half. Let's stop here and look at the anatomy of a Denny's Burger.



MEAT MEAT MEAT but not MEAT  in the traditional sense. This meat has been given spices and blended with various other ingredients to develop a TASTE. Burgers everywhere else don't DO that. Red Robins for example is just straight up beef. Also the patties are VERY FLAT. Red Robin tends to go with fatter patties and while Wendys and other fast food joints go with flat patties, the buns are not grilled, a point elaborated on later.



Second. The cheese. The cheese I get, which was swiss, doesnt sit in your mouth like normal cheese. It is as GLUE, fastening itself to your teeth and coating your throat all the way down. Yet somehow you think its delicious. So you willingly take another bite.



Third, the BUN is GRILLED in some sort of BUTTER. So already this doesn't classify as a burger so much. Fudruckers is probably the only chain that grills the buns as much as Dennys does, but with the cheese the Dennys burger doesnt taste like a burger anymore.

So then im thinking, Denny's menu is pretty big. What if.

Take the words "Patty Melt"



Add the letters HBURGR and Remove the letters PTTYLT and what do you get? HAMBURGER. That's right, The Denny's Hamburger is a PATTY MELT by technical classification, they just added a bunch of letters and re-arranged it all to fool us.



Well I am not fooled...well not anymore...starting next time.

o_0

MrAngryFace

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Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #1 on: November 03, 2006, 04:59:27 PM »
ITS A BURGER! If you ate a burger at dennys you ate a PATTY MELT
o_0

MrAngryFace

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Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #2 on: November 03, 2006, 05:09:18 PM »
YOU GET A BURGER!
o_0

Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #3 on: November 03, 2006, 05:41:57 PM »
You're not even supposed to eat at Denny's unless you're wasted.
haa

MrAngryFace

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Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #4 on: November 03, 2006, 05:42:45 PM »
So you cant tell the food apart lol
o_0

Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #5 on: November 03, 2006, 05:46:32 PM »
 :dur
haa

MrAngryFace

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Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #6 on: November 03, 2006, 05:47:08 PM »
I hate how you can order the pot roast or turkey dinner and it doesnt look like the picture, just stuff slapped on a plate :(
o_0

Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2006, 05:53:06 PM »
Additionally, Denny's should really only be open from 12am - 11am.  When you go in there at 3 in the morning, it's a memorable experience.  The mixture of drunks, crazies, and druggies that yap incessantly in some form of Slavic language that doesn't even sound like it's from this planet, are all classic.  As you wait for your TUNERGLER to come out, you hear somebody talking behind and you and all of sudden you're sitting with this guy you work with, or the guy you were just a party with that was extremely drunk and belligerent, or some girl you used to chat it up with in highschool.

People should associate Denny's as the American food chain more than McDonald's.
haa

Saint Cornelius

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Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2006, 05:54:19 PM »
I hate how you can order the pot roast or turkey dinner and it doesnt look like the picture, just stuff slapped on a plate :(


Have you ever eaten ANYWHERE and had your food looked like the picture?
dap

MrAngryFace

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Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #9 on: November 03, 2006, 05:55:21 PM »
WHY OLIVE GARDEN OF COURSE! ZUPPA TOSCANA OMGGGGGGGGGG
o_0

Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #10 on: November 03, 2006, 06:05:22 PM »
Quote
Add the letters HBURGR and Remove the letters PTTYLT and what do you get? HAMBURGER. That's right, The Denny's Hamburger is a PATTY MELT by technical classification, they just added a bunch of letters and re-arranged it all to fool us.
:lol
P90

whiteACID

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Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #11 on: November 03, 2006, 06:09:39 PM »
This thread makes me fucking hungry, but the only thing I have here is the smoked sausage and sauerkraut my roomie made last and god that shit is disgusting.
boo

Saint Cornelius

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Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #12 on: November 03, 2006, 06:11:19 PM »
Damn stoners and their munchies.
dap

The Fake Shemp

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Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #13 on: November 03, 2006, 06:16:12 PM »
Disposable White Guy and I make Denny's our one stop destination are a hard night of partying.

I think the best Denny's stop was when that drunk guy at the campus house declared me the greatest guy ever and we left the house to go our separate ways, only to end up at the same exact Denny's 45 minutes away from the place.  He bought our breakfast and his car broke down and we gave him a lift.  What a night.
PSP

brawndolicious

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Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #14 on: November 03, 2006, 06:16:44 PM »
I think their pancakes are the only thing that tastes good.  You probably get diabetes just smelling them though.

Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #15 on: November 03, 2006, 06:19:46 PM »
Disposable White Guy and I make Denny's our one stop destination are a hard night of partying.

I think the best Denny's stop was when that drunk guy at the campus house declared me the greatest guy ever and we left the house to go our separate ways, only to end up at the same exact Denny's 45 minutes away from the place.  He bought our breakfast and his car broke down and we gave him a lift.  What a night.

I seem to recall there being potential drug trafficking in that story.

PS - THIS THREAD IS NOW ABOUT HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATE PEDESTRIANS THAT DON'T USE THE CROSSWALK LOL
haa

The Fake Shemp

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Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #16 on: November 03, 2006, 06:20:21 PM »
I am a clean and sober individual that practices social drinking and legal partying, so I don't know what the fuck you just said little man - but you touched me right here  :heartbeat

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Don't make me tell the story about my search for IHOP
[close]
PSP

Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #17 on: November 03, 2006, 06:22:00 PM »
On the surface, perhaps...but beneath that jolly exterior there lies a sinister and devious crimelord that woos everyone around him into thinking he's a nice guy, then the next thing you know you're eating these black pods and getting on an airplane.  An airplane that's taking off from Columbia!

There's nothing wrong with WRETCHING all over your friend's toilet for 2+ hours, ass.
haa

The Fake Shemp

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Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #18 on: November 03, 2006, 06:22:52 PM »
I'm kind of like a less-in-shape version of the Kingpin.
PSP

Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #19 on: November 03, 2006, 06:23:30 PM »
And Spider-Man would still kick your ass.

TRY WOOING A FIST
haa

Mupepe

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Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #20 on: November 03, 2006, 06:24:07 PM »
I'm kind of like a less-in-shape version of the Kingpin.
The Kingpin is pure muscles bitches.

Or does he have only 3% body fat?  I can't remember.

The Fake Shemp

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Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #21 on: November 03, 2006, 06:24:22 PM »
:heartbeat :spiderman
PSP

Re: The Denny's Burger - Is it really a burger? An in-depth look --
« Reply #22 on: November 03, 2006, 06:25:19 PM »
Then maybe you should just  :hump and get it over with.
haa