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Author Topic: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT  (Read 6321 times)

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Himu

  • Senior Member
potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« on: March 24, 2008, 09:03:34 PM »
I'm tired of this shit. Every single damn time! I lock the door, and my roommate opens the damn door while I'm doing my...business.

I don't know what it is. I lock the door, and the dude comes opening it as if it's not locked. This doesn't happen for anyone else, including me, so what's up?

This kid is like a damn ninja. I can usually tell when he's approaching because he has these stupid keys on his pants which dangle annoyingly. You could hear him a block away. But for some reason every damn time I'm fapping he sneaks up on me like a ninja like he wants to see me do it! I can't take much more of this.

I play my porn so I can hear the voices, so I don't get why it's so hard to not hear the moaning, the ball slapping outside the door and have the sense TO NOT OPEN IT. Then again, I'm talking about the same guy who hung up panties on the fucking ceiling fan. FUCK.
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IYKYK

y2kev

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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2008, 09:04:32 PM »
himu, good lord.
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haw

hyp

  • Casual Gamer™
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2008, 09:04:49 PM »
 :lol :lol :lol
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pyh

BlackMage

  • The Panty-Peeler
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2008, 09:05:33 PM »
so.. which door? The door to the house or your room? If it's to the house.. man, wtf, do that shit in your own god damn room.
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UNF

Akala

  • Easy Victor
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2008, 09:05:49 PM »
start leaving the door open?
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hyp

  • Casual Gamer™
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2008, 09:06:36 PM »
you should introduce him to "interracial" porn.  kill the boy's curiosity.

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pyh

Madrun Badrun

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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2008, 09:06:48 PM »
 :lol :lol :lol
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Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2008, 09:08:44 PM »
I play my porn so I can hear the voices

I play my porn so I can hear the voices

I play my porn so I can hear the voices

I play my porn so I can hear the voices

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010

BlackMage

  • The Panty-Peeler
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2008, 09:14:52 PM »
is dat yo girlfriend?
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UNF

demi

  • cooler than willco
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2008, 09:21:14 PM »
You masturbate at 8PM?
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fat

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2008, 09:21:20 PM »
I probably wouldn't have this problem if it didn't take me 30-40 minutes to fap anyways.
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IYKYK

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #11 on: March 24, 2008, 09:30:29 PM »
btw thanks for the porn you sent me Himu OMG. Can't wait to download it

But DUDE, why are you watching porn so early, with people around? I only watch porn when it's late, ie 1AM or so. If I'm the only one home I'll watch stuff at any time I please though
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Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #12 on: March 24, 2008, 09:36:45 PM »
I swear he wasn't even in the damn apartment when I started. He's usually in real late at night and goes to bed at like 12 or 1 so I have to do it early in the night.

yeah i'm dling that porn right now  :D
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IYKYK

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #13 on: March 24, 2008, 09:41:57 PM »
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AdmiralViscen

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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #14 on: March 24, 2008, 09:42:18 PM »
Himu is PD circa 2006
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Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #15 on: March 24, 2008, 09:43:33 PM »
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IYKYK

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #16 on: March 24, 2008, 09:48:44 PM »
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The Fake Shemp

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #17 on: March 24, 2008, 09:49:26 PM »
Live by yourself.
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PSP

BlueTsunami

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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #18 on: March 24, 2008, 09:53:40 PM »
Quote from: Himuro on March 24, 2008, 09:21:20 PM
I probably wouldn't have this problem if it didn't take me 30-40 minutes to fap anyways.

Wtf are you watching? Porn with stories? Fuck, just get to the gurgling and be done with it
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Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #19 on: March 24, 2008, 09:55:16 PM »
Quote from: BlueTsunami on March 24, 2008, 09:53:40 PM
Quote from: Himuro on March 24, 2008, 09:21:20 PM
I probably wouldn't have this problem if it didn't take me 30-40 minutes to fap anyways.

Wtf are you watching? Porn with stories? Fuck, just get to the gurgling and be done with it

I prolong my orgasms and practice kegels.
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IYKYK

TVC15

  • Laugh when you can, it’s cheap medicine -LB
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #20 on: March 24, 2008, 09:55:37 PM »
HE LIKES TO HEAR THE VOICES!

The voices and sounds in porn are so generic.  I can't fathom why you'd want to listen to that.
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serge

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #21 on: March 24, 2008, 09:57:01 PM »
Quote from: TVC 15 on March 24, 2008, 09:55:37 PM
HE LIKES TO HEAR THE VOICES!

The voices and sounds in porn are so generic.  I can't fathom why you'd want to listen to that.

I like dirty talk!
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IYKYK

TVC15

  • Laugh when you can, it’s cheap medicine -LB
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #22 on: March 24, 2008, 09:57:49 PM »
Then IM Lemurs.  The dirty talk in porn is generic as well.
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serge

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #23 on: March 24, 2008, 09:59:28 PM »
Well, it is, but it's fun! And if a chick has hot voice or the way she goes 'mmmmmmmmmmmmm" when she sucks a cock is sexy I'm like :o
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IYKYK

TVC15

  • Laugh when you can, it’s cheap medicine -LB
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #24 on: March 24, 2008, 10:01:03 PM »
Jesus Christ, Himu.
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serge

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #25 on: March 24, 2008, 10:02:07 PM »
WHAT
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IYKYK

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #26 on: March 24, 2008, 10:04:33 PM »
Best voice in ALL porn: Nikita Denise. Holy shit

And omg Giana Michaels makes me hard by talking. I love watching her because she's actually into the job. She tries to make the dudes bust their nuts early  :lol

And I love Spring Thomas calling black guys distinguished black fellows
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Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #27 on: March 24, 2008, 10:05:02 PM »
Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 10:04:33 PM
And I love Spring Thomas calling black guys distinguished black fellows

:rofl
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IYKYK

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #28 on: March 24, 2008, 10:07:40 PM »
Yeah Phoenix, when you listen to the voices it can help determine whether the chick is into it or not.If you watch a porn where the chick is hesitant and not sure, or FAKING, you're like,"this is such a turn off. it's like i'm watching some rape video tvc made when he was in high school and didn't realize he was gay yet" I need authenticity! If a chick is enjoying it, it goes a long way in turning me on.
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IYKYK

BlueTsunami

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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #29 on: March 24, 2008, 10:09:35 PM »
I'm not one to talk about my porn watching habits but I do have to admit to Gianna being a fucking sex beast
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:9

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #30 on: March 24, 2008, 10:11:08 PM »
.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2008, 10:23:06 PM by Ichi »
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PS4

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #31 on: March 24, 2008, 10:12:29 PM »
Giana :bow :bow :bow

I hate when the chick is obviously phoning in the sex; it's even worse when they're doing fake screams ugghh. I love when a chick squirts so hard I have to jump up and take a piss too. That's when I know I'm watching classic smut
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010

BlueTsunami

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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #32 on: March 24, 2008, 10:16:45 PM »
Why would you want to shame yourself for more than 10 Minutes?
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:9

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #33 on: March 24, 2008, 10:16:50 PM »
Quote from: Ichi on March 24, 2008, 10:11:08 PM
How many times has your roomie interrupted you while you're doing your business?  I recommend you do the same to him when he's having sex with a girl, see how HE likes it.

This is the fourth time.
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IYKYK

BlueTsunami

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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #34 on: March 24, 2008, 10:17:47 PM »
One day your going to feel your roomates soft palmed hand wrap around your peener and you won't resist. Put a padlock on that bitch
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:9

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #35 on: March 24, 2008, 10:17:53 PM »
.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2008, 10:22:38 PM by Ichi »
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PS4

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #36 on: March 24, 2008, 10:19:06 PM »
Quote from: dcharlie on March 24, 2008, 10:12:04 PM
Quote
I probably wouldn't have this problem if it didn't take me 30-40 minutes to fap anyways.

the real reason for thread right here!

note: 30-40 minutes is -not- long anyways :fugeeface


I know it isn't. It's still better than 5 minutes. I'm building up my endurance.
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IYKYK

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #37 on: March 24, 2008, 10:20:53 PM »
Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 10:12:29 PM
Giana :bow :bow :bow

I hate when the chick is obviously phoning in the sex; it's even worse when they're doing fake screams ugghh. I love when a chick squirts so hard I have to jump up and take a piss too. That's when I know I'm watching classic smut

WORD and the chicks who LOVE to suck the dick are awesome. Pure, unadulterated pornography with  nothing fake about it. Too bad you have to sift through the shit porn to get to it.
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IYKYK

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #38 on: March 24, 2008, 10:23:49 PM »
Of course! But it doesn't help to try!
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IYKYK

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #39 on: March 24, 2008, 10:25:09 PM »
.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2008, 10:22:04 PM by Ichi »
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PS4

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #40 on: March 24, 2008, 10:25:40 PM »
I love long beat off sessions.
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IYKYK

CurseoftheGods

  • just hanging around, being shitty
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #41 on: March 24, 2008, 10:26:42 PM »
Wow, Himuro. :lol
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Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #42 on: March 24, 2008, 10:36:44 PM »
curse whats the biggest penis you've ever seen irl  :-*
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demi

  • cooler than willco
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #43 on: March 24, 2008, 10:38:48 PM »
Quote from: BlueTsunami on March 24, 2008, 10:17:47 PM
One day your going to feel your roomates soft palmed hand wrap around your peener and you won't resist. Put a padlock on that bitch

Why would you refuse a free handjob?
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fat

CurseoftheGods

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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #44 on: March 24, 2008, 10:56:53 PM »
Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 10:36:44 PM
curse whats the biggest penis you've ever seen irl  :-*

My dad's.

No incesto.
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demi

  • cooler than willco
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #45 on: March 24, 2008, 11:07:22 PM »
Quote from: CurseoftheGods on March 24, 2008, 10:56:53 PM
Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 10:36:44 PM
curse whats the biggest penis you've ever seen irl  :-*

My dad's.

No incesto.

That's... very disappointing to hear

Pics of dad?
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fat

Joe Molotov

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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #46 on: March 24, 2008, 11:08:51 PM »
Quote from: BlueTsunami on March 24, 2008, 10:17:47 PM
One day your going to feel your roomates soft palmed hand wrap around your peener and you won't resist. Put a padlock on that bitch

Only one hand? Himu will barely even feel that with his 10 inch widowmaker. No wonder it takes him 30-40 minutes to get off, he probably has to use both hands and one foot to get enough friction built up.
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©@©™

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #47 on: March 24, 2008, 11:09:45 PM »
:rofl
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IYKYK

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #48 on: March 24, 2008, 11:10:31 PM »
.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2008, 10:17:39 PM by Ichi »
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PS4

CajoleJuice

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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #49 on: March 25, 2008, 12:00:41 AM »
Quote from: CurseoftheGods on March 24, 2008, 10:56:53 PM
Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 24, 2008, 10:36:44 PM
curse whats the biggest penis you've ever seen irl  :-*

My dad's.

No incesto.

So is your own penis second?  :-*
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AMC

Mupepe

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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #50 on: March 25, 2008, 12:23:17 AM »
Quote from: Genghis Cohen on March 24, 2008, 10:24:10 PM
Beating off is so different from sex that practicing one has no advantage to the other.
yeah, before i lost my virginity, i used to rationalize my twice a day habit by saying I was practicing longevity for when I finally have sex.  I lasted like 3 seconds :(
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Madrun Badrun

  • twin-anused mascot
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #51 on: March 25, 2008, 12:42:55 AM »
Quote from: Genghis Cohen on March 25, 2008, 12:24:52 AM
Himu needs to practice holding whisky if he wants longevity at first.  Worked for me :rock

Really?


Also we all know you meant "rationalize 6 times a day" mupepe. 
spoiler (click to show/hide)
At least I hope so.  Mupepe jerking less than me makes me feel like a horn-dog  :'( :'(
[close]
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Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #52 on: March 25, 2008, 12:45:43 AM »
I can't get fully hard from porn anymore. Seems like I need something even more explicit to wank to, but I'm afraid what that next step might be
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010

Joe Molotov

  • I'm much more humble than you would understand.
  • Administrator
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #53 on: March 25, 2008, 12:48:26 AM »
Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 25, 2008, 12:45:43 AM
I can't get fully hard from porn anymore. Seems like I need something even more explicit to wank to, but I'm afraid what that next step might be

Sex?
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©@©™

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #54 on: March 25, 2008, 12:50:35 AM »
I mean, I still get hard. But I know I can get harder
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demi

  • cooler than willco
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #55 on: March 25, 2008, 12:52:29 AM »
yea 30 minutes is too much, i'm not here to study this shit, i just want to lob one off so i can go to sleep
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fat

bork

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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #56 on: March 25, 2008, 02:02:00 AM »
Quote from: dcharlie on March 24, 2008, 10:22:31 PM
Quote
I know it isn't. It's still better than 5 minutes. I'm building up my endurance.


performance in the sack is 99% psychological - no amount of whacking off is going to help you when it comes to the big minge plunge.

If Himu's wacking off too much and doing it to pornstars with "fake" bodies, it could also potentially fuck him up psychologically when he does finally get himself a replacement for his hand.
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ど助平

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #57 on: March 25, 2008, 02:23:13 AM »
new worst thread on EB
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乱学者

Rman

  • Senior Member
Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #58 on: March 25, 2008, 02:25:23 AM »
What was the previous champion, SP?
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Bloodwake

  • Legend in his own mind
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Re: potential roommates: if you hear porn outside the door, DON'T OPEN IT
« Reply #59 on: March 25, 2008, 02:38:55 AM »
Masturbation: the way to go.
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HLR
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