Author Topic: OH GOD my mom is getting remarried (Read 4519 times)

TVC15 · « **on:** March 31, 2008, 07:32:33 PM »

SHOOT ME PLEASE. At least this gives me an opportunity to have a second teenagerhood where I can yell YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD. Hmmm, I'm going to start practicing now. This also gives me a good excuse to start doing drugs again, since I can like, be all alienated and shit.

TVC15 · « **Reply #1 on:** March 31, 2008, 07:36:24 PM »

No. I stand to gain nothing from this union, so I am against it.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #2 on:** March 31, 2008, 07:40:32 PM »

How often will you interact with him anyway? Really.

TVC15 · « **Reply #3 on:** March 31, 2008, 07:42:13 PM »

Shut the fuck up Cajole, you;re not my dad. ANd what the fuck is that franknstein monster in ParticleReality's avatar? It is like PD and Cajole did it.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #4 on:** March 31, 2008, 07:44:44 PM »

I may not be your dad, but you're going to have to accept it!!

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #5 on:** March 31, 2008, 07:46:14 PM »

Hire a hooker to seduce him and take pictures, and then show them to your mom. That's what Veronica Mars would do.

demi · « **Reply #6 on:** March 31, 2008, 07:48:49 PM »

Is he a fatty?

TVC15 · « **Reply #7 on:** March 31, 2008, 07:49:25 PM »

If she gets to let someone that's not my dead dad fuck her, I think it's only natural that I should be able to change my name to something without her guilt tripping me about it being my dad's last name.

Quote from: demi on March 31, 2008, 07:48:49 PM

Is he a fatty?

No

Smooth Groove · « **Reply #8 on:** March 31, 2008, 07:50:06 PM »

Is your mom a MILF?

demi · « **Reply #9 on:** March 31, 2008, 07:51:11 PM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on March 31, 2008, 07:49:25 PM

Quote from: demi on March 31, 2008, 07:48:49 PM
Is he a fatty?

No

Well fuck that guy, then

TVC15 · « **Reply #10 on:** March 31, 2008, 07:51:33 PM »

Quote from: Smooth Groove on March 31, 2008, 07:50:06 PM

Is your mom a MILF?

No she is like 62.

Smooth Groove · « **Reply #11 on:** March 31, 2008, 07:52:29 PM »

$:-\$

Why would anyone over 60 need to get remarried?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #12 on:** March 31, 2008, 07:52:58 PM »

Quote from: Smooth Groove on March 31, 2008, 07:50:06 PM

Is your mom a MILF?

Is he a DILF?

TVC15 · « **Reply #13 on:** March 31, 2008, 07:53:58 PM »

Quote from: Smooth Groove on March 31, 2008, 07:52:29 PM

$:-\$

Why would anyone over 60 need to get remarried?

this is why I need the drugs to understand

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #14 on:** March 31, 2008, 07:54:39 PM »

Quote from: demi on March 31, 2008, 07:51:11 PM

Quote from: TVC 15 on March 31, 2008, 07:49:25 PM

Quote from: demi on March 31, 2008, 07:48:49 PM
Is he a fatty?

No

Well fuck that guy, then

That's what she said.

demi · « **Reply #15 on:** March 31, 2008, 08:04:43 PM »

Quote from: Joe Molotov on March 31, 2008, 07:54:39 PM

Quote from: demi on March 31, 2008, 07:51:11 PM
Quote from: TVC 15 on March 31, 2008, 07:49:25 PM

Quote from: demi on March 31, 2008, 07:48:49 PM
Is he a fatty?

No

Well fuck that guy, then

That's what she said.

I guess this means I get you then

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #16 on:** March 31, 2008, 08:09:27 PM »

Quote from: ParticleReality on March 31, 2008, 08:00:49 PM

Quote from: TVC 15 on March 31, 2008, 07:42:13 PM
ANd what the fuck is that franknstein monster in ParticleReality's avatar? It is like PD and Cajole did it.

PD, Cajole and Sp0rk's chin had a threesome, and then this beautiful creature came out of Sp0rks vagina chin 9 months later.

His name is Ph0enix Juice

Jesus, you have me combined with PD and sp0rsk? I am embarrassed.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #17 on:** March 31, 2008, 08:12:16 PM »

Is he attractive? I mean, can you at least see why your mom digs him? How long has she known him?

This is so cool TVC, I'm happy for you. Bastard no more! ^o^

TVC15 · « **Reply #18 on:** March 31, 2008, 08:21:49 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 31, 2008, 08:12:16 PM

Is he attractive? I mean, can you at least see why your mom digs him? How long has she known him?

I don't know, he's in his 50s. I guess he's hot for being ancient or something. They've been dating for like 2 years.

Quote

This is so cool TVC, I'm happy for you. Bastard no more! ^o^

Fuck you, PD! I am looking for new cool things to change my name to as we speak.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #19 on:** March 31, 2008, 08:26:42 PM »

Why change your name? I'm assuming she's gonna take his name anyway right

Oh TVC can I come to the wedding please? You ARE going correct?

TVC15 · « **Reply #20 on:** March 31, 2008, 08:32:26 PM »

I'm thinking Morrissey for a last name. That works, right?

demi · « **Reply #21 on:** March 31, 2008, 08:34:05 PM »

Aquinas

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #22 on:** March 31, 2008, 08:36:38 PM »

But TVC I am confused. Say your last name is...Bonners. Lets pretend your mom's name is Linda Bonners, and she marries a man named Tyrion Lannister. Your mom's last name becomes Lannister - hence, Linda Lannister. But you remain TVC Bonners regardless. Am I wrong?

AdmiralViscen · « **Reply #23 on:** March 31, 2008, 08:36:46 PM »

roffles

TVC15 · « **Reply #24 on:** March 31, 2008, 08:37:07 PM »

How about Serpico Morrissey? Does that sound acceptable?

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 31, 2008, 08:36:38 PM

But TVC I am confused. Say your last name is...Bonners. Lets pretend your mom's name is Linda Bonners, and she marries a man named Tyrion Lannister. Your mom's last name becomes Lannister - hence, Linda Lannister. But you remain TVC Bonners regardless. Am I wrong?

That is how it work. But as a man, I am stuck with the shitty name I was born with, without opportunity to change it for an accepted reason. So basically, if my mom gets to dishonor my father by cuckolding him, I should also get to dishonor my father by picking a new, cooler name for myself. QUID PRO QUO!

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #25 on:** March 31, 2008, 08:43:37 PM »

Quote from: Forgotten Ancient on March 31, 2008, 08:30:09 PM

If my mom would've married my dad, my last name would be Rambow.

You still get to be Son of Rambow, though. That's pretty cool.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #26 on:** March 31, 2008, 08:55:12 PM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on March 31, 2008, 08:37:07 PM

How about Serpico Morrissey? Does that sound acceptable?

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 31, 2008, 08:36:38 PM
But TVC I am confused. Say your last name is...Bonners. Lets pretend your mom's name is Linda Bonners, and she marries a man named Tyrion Lannister. Your mom's last name becomes Lannister - hence, Linda Lannister. But you remain TVC Bonners regardless. Am I wrong?

That is how it work. But as a man, I am stuck with the shitty name I was born with, without opportunity to change it for an accepted reason. So basically, if my mom gets to dishonor my father by cuckolding him, I should also get to dishonor my father by picking a new, cooler name for myself. QUID PRO QUO!

Why not just be the man-bride in a gay wedding, and take my last name. No homo.

TVC15 · « **Reply #27 on:** March 31, 2008, 08:56:56 PM »

Did Arvie just propose to me?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #28 on:** March 31, 2008, 08:58:38 PM »

no homo.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Actually my last name sucks. You wouldn't want it.

[close]

xnikki118x · « **Reply #29 on:** March 31, 2008, 09:01:29 PM »

You could take your wife's last name when you marry.

TVC15 · « **Reply #30 on:** March 31, 2008, 09:05:07 PM »

Okay, so from now on, I want to be known as Serpico Morrissey. Serpico Bysshe Morrissey.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #31 on:** March 31, 2008, 09:06:06 PM »

Quote from: xnikki118x on March 31, 2008, 09:01:29 PM

You could take your wife's last name when you marry.

arvie already said he had a lousy last name

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #32 on:** March 31, 2008, 09:40:50 PM »

Quote from: ParticleReality on March 31, 2008, 09:10:25 PM

Quote from: CajoleJuice on March 31, 2008, 08:09:27 PM
Jesus, you have me combined with PD and sp0rsk? I am embarrassed.

It was going to be you, PD, and WhiteACID but Sp0rsk's chin was already taking up like half my hard drive, so I just used what I had already on my PC.

I don't think The Chin is adequately represented. It needs to take up at least half the picture.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #33 on:** March 31, 2008, 09:59:36 PM »

Is this guy a loser, or well off? Your mom is old too...

Just think if they have a kid

TVC15 · « **Reply #34 on:** March 31, 2008, 10:11:39 PM »

My mom is 62, PD. I don't think she's been capable of having children for a while.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #35 on:** March 31, 2008, 10:16:10 PM »

Mariam was like 100 when she had Abraham's child, so anything is possible imo

TVC15 · « **Reply #36 on:** March 31, 2008, 10:21:01 PM »

This isn't Lord of the Rings, PD. This is real.

I also just realized that today is my dad's birthday, too

DOUBLE DISHONOR. WHY DON'T THEY JUST FUCK ON HIS GRAVE

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #37 on:** March 31, 2008, 10:23:35 PM »

May I ask how long ago your dad died? My friend lost her dad last year (heart attack). She acts like she's over it but she hasn't :'(

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #38 on:** March 31, 2008, 10:28:16 PM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on March 31, 2008, 10:21:01 PM

This isn't Lord of the Rings, PD. This is real.

I also just realized that today is my dad's birthday, too DOUBLE DISHONOR. WHY DON'T THEY JUST FUCK ON HIS GRAVE

They're saving that for the honeymoon.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #39 on:** March 31, 2008, 10:36:05 PM »

your new middle name is "bish"? really?

TVC15 · « **Reply #40 on:** March 31, 2008, 10:48:17 PM »

Yes, as in famous Romantic drug addict Percy Bysshe Shelley.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #41 on:** March 31, 2008, 10:53:20 PM »

not as in "that swishy manga fucktoy is so totally bish"

TVC15 · « **Reply #42 on:** March 31, 2008, 11:00:24 PM »

Quote from: Synthesizer Patel on March 31, 2008, 10:53:20 PM

not as in "that swishy manga fucktoy is so totally bish"

Right, "Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!" Bysshe, not "I'm Himumu and I <3 Eerie Queerie" bish.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #43 on:** March 31, 2008, 11:08:40 PM »

Ozymandius Bysshe > Himumu bishounen > Turok bishopxl

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #44 on:** March 31, 2008, 11:11:09 PM »

My mom got remarried (her third one!) a couple of years ago. I think, if you're jaded by a childhood past of failed marriages, single parent headaches, therapy and all, it's totally a cynical experience ("Change the channel, I've already seen this episode before!"). My mom is in her 50s and I think it took her 'till this age to really decide what she wants and her marriage is great because of it. I was skeptical, but they have a great relationship and her husband actually makes my mother tolerable.

rodi · « **Reply #45 on:** March 31, 2008, 11:22:41 PM »

Lucky number three. At least your parents admitted that their relationship wasn't going to work and decided to end it instead of clinging to old fashioned traditions and stay in a stagnant unhealthy relationship.

TVC15 · « **Reply #46 on:** April 01, 2008, 12:04:16 AM »

I am trying to work this to my advantage by trying to convince her to have the wedding in Vegas. They haven't set a date yet, and although they don't want a bigass wedding, they do want some sort of ceremony. At the same time, she was surprisingly receptive to Vegas. Since I am neurotic and go insane when confronted by anything outside of my comfort zone, I think Vegas will be a good place to go for my next psychotic break.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #47 on:** April 01, 2008, 12:05:42 AM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on April 01, 2008, 12:04:16 AM

I am trying to work this to my advantage by trying to convince her to have the wedding in Vegas. They haven't set a date yet, and although they don't want a bigass wedding, they do want some sort of ceremony. At the same time, she was surprisingly receptive to Vegas. Since I am neurotic and go insane when confronted by anything outside of my comfort zone, I think Vegas will be a good place to go for my next psychotic break.

Or you could gamble and fuck whores.

TVC15 · « **Reply #48 on:** April 01, 2008, 12:07:36 AM »

I dunno. How readily available are drugs in Vegas? I think a well-timed heroin or meth overdose could do wonders for this marriage.

Eric P · « **Reply #49 on:** April 01, 2008, 12:14:11 AM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on March 31, 2008, 10:21:01 PM

This isn't Lord of the Rings, PD. This is real.

oh my god

well done, good sir.

i have donned a cap solely so that i may tip it towards you.

Smooth Groove · « **Reply #50 on:** April 01, 2008, 12:17:50 AM »

TVC, are there going to be any step-siblings? Maybe you can fuck one of them as revenge.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #51 on:** April 01, 2008, 12:19:09 AM »

I also worked the marriage to my advantage - then ended up taking me to the Caribbean for Spring Break after I turned 21-years-old.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #52 on:** April 01, 2008, 12:20:01 AM »

Quote from: Smooth Groove on April 01, 2008, 12:17:50 AM

TVC, are there going to be any step-siblings? Maybe you can fuck one of them as revenge.

Or better yet, maybe he already has. That would make for an interesting family get together.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #53 on:** April 01, 2008, 12:20:04 AM »

Quote from: Smooth Groove on April 01, 2008, 12:17:50 AM

TVC, are there going to be any step-siblings? Maybe you can fuck one of them as revenge.

Lord Byron approves of this plan, Bysshe.

TVC15 · « **Reply #54 on:** April 01, 2008, 12:21:14 AM »

Jesus christ, there are step-siblings. What the fuck is protocol here? I am 27 years old--I can basically ignore them, right?

Eric P · « **Reply #55 on:** April 01, 2008, 12:22:45 AM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on April 01, 2008, 12:21:14 AM

Jesus christ, there are step-siblings. What the fuck is protocol here? I am 27 years old--I can basically ignore them, right?

yes

but you'll still be saddled with them at holidays

so you may want to at least make a tiny effort

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #56 on:** April 01, 2008, 12:23:14 AM »

How old are they? Don't worry, I'm sure they will ignore you.

TVC15 · « **Reply #57 on:** April 01, 2008, 12:24:26 AM »

Quote from: Eric P on April 01, 2008, 12:22:45 AM

Quote from: TVC 15 on April 01, 2008, 12:21:14 AM
Jesus christ, there are step-siblings. What the fuck is protocol here? I am 27 years old--I can basically ignore them, right?

yes

but you'll still be saddled with them at holidays

so you may want to at least make a tiny effort

Holidays? There's a reason I moved 2500 miles away from home!

Quote from: Father_Mike on April 01, 2008, 12:23:14 AM

How old are they? Don't worry, I'm sure they will ignore you.

I think I went to high school with one of them, but I do not know how many there are total.

Eric P · « **Reply #58 on:** April 01, 2008, 12:25:43 AM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on April 01, 2008, 12:24:26 AM

I think I went to high school with one of them, but I do not know how many there are total.

oh my fucking god

i couldn't imagine being forced to exist as a familial unit with someone i went to highschool with.

yes, ignore them

if you can't, scorched earth policy. make them want to ignore you.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #59 on:** April 01, 2008, 12:27:51 AM »

You don't even no how many children this guy has let out in the world? You should have a sit down with this man to see if he is right for your mom. Also tell her to get a prenup to protect your inheritance! Don't let his children get what's yours!

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Author Topic: OH GOD my mom is getting remarried (Read 4519 times)