My employee created the worst, tasteless April Fool's Joke of all-time!

[The Fake Shemp]

I have an employee who told the store a week ago that doctors had likely found cancer in his throat, and were working on confirming it with tests.  He had all this legit medication and doctor appointments.  The response from my staff was very sympathetic and concerned.  Everyone was really worried.  One of my employees has a crush on him, and tried to joke it off, but it was plain as sight that she was concerned.

He'd come in every day, talking about waiting for the results.  How he was tired because he had to go in for a second set of tests and stuff.

He told everyone individually yesterday that he did indeed have cancer.  Two employees broke down and cried.  The one employee who has a crush on him broke down and told him that she loved him.  Then he said, "Hah! April Fool's!"  The whole thing was an elaborate hoax.  He never had cancer.  Something was wrong with his throat, but never cancer and he was able to turn that into a joke.  I was always cautiously worried, but felt it wasn't cancer (although I wondered why a doctor would throw the c-word around without a full diagnosis).  But the folks who broke down.  Whoa.  Now that female employee won't even speak to him.

[Mr. Gundam]

Wow, what an elaborately evil April Fool's Joke.

[TakingBackSunday]

That's awesome

[Mupepe]

hook me up with that cute employee that had the crush

[The Fake Shemp]

She's a horribly innocent looking little Asian girl.

[Mupepe]

perfect for bukkake

[Vizzys]

perfect for bukkake

iawtp

[Phoenix Dark]

I have an employee who told the store a week ago that doctors had likely found cancer in his throat, and were working on confirming it with tests.  He had all this legit medication and doctor appointments.  The response from my staff was very sympathetic and concerned.  Everyone was really worried.  One of my employees has a crush on him, and tried to joke it off, but it was plain as sight that she was concerned.

He'd come in every day, talking about waiting for the results.  How he was tired because he had to go in for a second set of tests and stuff.

He told everyone individually yesterday that he did indeed have cancer.  Two employees broke down and cried.  The one employee who has a crush on him broke down and told him that she loved him.  Then he said, "Hah! April Fool's!"  The whole thing was an elaborate hoax.  He never had cancer.  Something was wrong with his throat, but never cancer and he was able to turn that into a joke.  I was always cautiously worried, but felt it wasn't cancer (although I wondered why a doctor would throw the c-word around without a full diagnosis).  But the folks who broke down.  Whoa.  Now that female employee won't even speak to him.

I don't know whether to bust out laughing or shake my head; I wound up doing both. Good lord, how old is this man and (oh god) is he an Ntard?

[Crushed]

On the bright side, at least now the girl knows that he's an insensitive dickhead. Could have been worse if she had been in a relationship when she found out.

"Hey sweety, I should tell you that I'm going insane from advanced syphilis, which I contracted from a hooker! By the way, it turns out she got pregnant and I have to pay for the kid. HA HA, FOOOOOOLED YOOOOOU"

[Candyflip]

She's a horribly innocent looking little Asian girl.

Aww That's like kicking a puppy.

[demi]

haha he made an asian cry without shoving the tip of his dick in her

[Phoenix Dark]

haha he made an asian cry without shoving the tip of his dick in her

omg 

[Madrun Badrun]

   Jesus Demi.

[MCD]

haha he made an asian cry without shoving the tip of his dick in her

wow

[pilonv1]

this thread delivers in multiple ways

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I was out with some people once at karaoke and this guy got a phone call and left to talk to whomever was on the other line. He then came back in about ten minutes later and asked his wife to come out and talk to him. After they were gone about 5 minutes, they came back in and she was totally crying, telling us between sobs that his unit had just come up for deployment in Iraq, and he was leaving in 72 hours. On top of that, she had just gotten pregnant, and she couldn't believe it, etc... Everyone was SUPER sympathetic to this couple, telling them we really felt for them, we were sure he would be okay etc. etc.

And then after like 15-20 minutes of milking it they were like, haha, we were just kidding! And everyone was completely shellshocked, and then and only then did they realize that they had totally misjudged what an appropriate "punked!" was.

It wasn't even April Fools!

[Van Cruncheon]

i broke into a local family's house and played some "funny games" with them

they really didn't get the humor :'(

[Howard Alan Treesong]

btw, if the worst that female employee does is not talk to him, he's extraordinarily lucky

[Joe Molotov]

Me and my dad pretended that my mom accidentally killed me.  It was...uh...not funny at all.

That has too much of a potential backfire. What if your mom got really happy for a second?

[CurseoftheGods]

haha he made an asian cry without shoving the tip of his dick in her

I find this offensive towards people who have dicks.

[Mupepe]

It wasn't really a prank, but when I was little I was having fun floating in the water face down holding my breath for as long as I could.  My mom happened to walk by and started screaming hysterically and then I popped up and was like "what's wrong mom??" and she beat the bejeezus out of me.

[Smooth Groove]

Why's the chick mad?  She finally got the chance to say how she really felt.  

[xnikki118x]

It wasn't really a prank, but when I was little I was having fun floating in the water face down holding my breath for as long as I could.  My mom happened to walk by and started screaming hysterically and then I popped up and was like "what's wrong mom??" and she beat the bejeezus out of me.

This made me lol so hard.


Those people who actually fake cancer and stuff are awful! I hope that dude does get cancer in his throat. Karma ROX.

[The Fake Shemp]

Good lord, how old is this man and (oh god) is he an Ntard?

He's over 21-years-old and what I would call a Sony diehard (typical Asian!).  He's got an open relationship going on right now and has no problems getting the ladies.  So it wasn't a stunt for a girl.  He laughed when one of our employees (a male), broke down in tears.  My ASM really thought he had cancer and quit last night (apparently, he did not tell her it was a joke) - I had to convince her it was a joke.

btw, if the worst that female employee does is not talk to him, he's extraordinarily lucky

I am actually worried that she'll quit now.  It'll hurt on the store level and my pocketbook (our bonus is primarily retention).

Why's the chick mad?  She finally got the chance to say how she really felt.

I am pretty sure when you've fallen for someone and it won't ever be reciprocated, to be outed is probably one of the most humiliating things ever.  And since several people know this, the entire store knows it.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

are you gonna write him up? I would, quite honestly -- this is a disciplinary action if ever there was one. and maybe if you let the girl know you're writing up Stupid McDickhead, she'll be more likely to retain.

[The Fake Shemp]

Since it all happened off the clock and really out of the store, it's kind of a tight rope act from a human relations standpoint.  It's not like he came into the store, on company time, and did this.  He did it on his own time and with folks he has an out-of-the-store relationship with, save for my ASM, who he texted. 

[Smooth Groove]

I am pretty sure when you've fallen for someone and it won't ever be reciprocated, to be outed is probably one of the most humiliating things ever.  And since several people know this, the entire store knows it.

Why not?  Is she ugly?  If a decent looking chick spilled her feelings to me like that, I'd be moved enough to at least give her a pity fuck.  

[Howard Alan Treesong]

out-of-store or no, I think it's serious enough that you can write it up. I mean, this isn't fucking around. This is Bad Boys II style just got real

[MrAngryFace]

lol kids, jesus christ tell yer employees to grow up

[The Fake Shemp]

out-of-store or no, I think it's serious enough that you can write it up. I mean, this isn't fucking around. This is Bad Boys II style just got real

I've partnered up with another regional DM, as our DM was just promoted to Regional Director today.  I will see what he says on this - usually it's just, "Take care of it and don't make it a HR debacle!"  The company no longer has punitive write-ups; they've created these coaching plans which actually create a schedule and plan for modifying unsatisfactory or innappropiate behaviors.

I basically did what MAF said and told him that this was a pretty immature stunt, and while most would be indifferent to it, we work in a store with some sensitive employees and sensitive female employes - neither demographic really is going to take to something like this real well.  I think he believes since the majority of it occured away from the premises, he's in the clear.

[Vizzys]

sensitive female employes

I'm 17 with my fake id, can I work at your store?

someone ripped you off

[T234]

I'd have whipped his ass on the spot.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

PM me his info and I'll call the cops and tell him that he talking about death a lot and how it was all going to be over soon, and I think the police need to talk to him

[Smooth Groove]

Patel's just angry because the asshole broke an Asian girl's heart. 

[The Fake Shemp]

And then you can swoop in as a comforting, intellectual shoulder to cry on for an emotionally distraught, adorable Asian college coed?  I see through your ruse, mister!

[huckleberry]

You gotta get rid of that guy Willco.  I have had to deal with disruptive employees like that in the past....it is disrespectful to them, and to a larger extent, you.  His actions, even if they weren't in the workplace, are causing you problems.  Total bullshit on his part....even if it wasn't meant that way by him.

[MrAngryFace]

I woulda fucking fired him

[Howard Alan Treesong]

yeah, I don't think "outside of work" counts in this case

also, the correct title of the game I'm working on is "Two Worlds 2: Three Worlds"

[pilonv1]

doesn't matter if its outside work, if it's affecting his or anyone elses performance you should have a right to can his ass

[T234]

Sacred 2 is probably still gonna be the better Eastern European hack-n'-slash.

[bagofeyes]

hehe good gag. I tell my friends I suffer from chronic migraines to account for all the medication I use just for fun.

[MrAngryFace]

I woulda fired him and if my DM asked me why id say he lied about having cancer and manipulated the whole staff which will probably affect the stores productivity as a whole. The DM would then agree with me and we'd hire someone else who doesnt lie about having stuff thats potentially terminal.

[The Fake Shemp]

SMs aren't even allowed to fire any employee, unless you have a clear cut case of loss prevention or sexual harassment.  Even then, you have to pair up with your DM.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

come up with a plan where he apologizes to everyone every day for three months, and they get to tell him what an insensitive dick he is

[The Fake Shemp]

I should give everyone Nerf crotch bats and let them hit him once a day!

But the HR ridiculousness is pretty crazy.  I just had a whole HR nightmare because I demoted someone that should've likely been fired, and without correctly partnering up with my DM, it blew up into an incident.

[MrAngryFace]

Whats the point of being an SM if you have to bring in a DM to clear out trash. Gamestop affords the distinguished mentally-challenged people it hires way too much protection from easy firing

[Howard Alan Treesong]

you... you don't mean...

spoiler (click to show/hide)

a DONG MASTER?!?!

[close]

[The Fake Shemp]

Whats the point of being an SM if you have to bring in a DM to clear out trash. Gamestop affords the distinguished mentally-challenged people it hires way too much protection from easy firing

Because it is my job to properly coach and train them into effective employees and correct negative behaviors.  We'll all about promoting positive reinforcement - yadda, yadda, yadda.

Real talk: California state allow employees to get away with a lot because employers have to worry about paying them unemployment out of their pockets if everything isn't completely kosher.  Involuntary termination is such a sticky subject on a state level, that it can really handcuff big employers like GameStop.  The other part is that the company has overhauled the bonus scorecard for all managers to make retention more weighted than performance, so all managers avoid firing anybody.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

at the very least, come up with a plan where he has to apologize. seriously. SERIOUSLY. letting him get away with that shit, I don't care what your corporate policy is. hell, take him aside and tell him he's a piece of shit, off the record.

also, give me the e-mail of the cute Asian coed so I can reassure her there are still some nice white guys in the world

[The Fake Shemp]

I did talk to him and told him it was an immature stunt!

Also, the female employee only plays for national pride.  Sorry.

[Joe Molotov]

MAF 

[Mandark]

I'm getting a kick out of MAF's rendition of "If I Were King Of The Jungle".

I did talk to him and told him it was an immature stunt!

Also, the female employee only plays for national pride.  Sorry.

National or continental?  If it's the first, you should give her a country, if only for Patel's burgeoning fantasy life.

This whole thing reminds me of the UK Office, when David pretends to fire Dawn as a heeeeelarious prank.

[The Fake Shemp]

The country that has given us nothing but the runs: China.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

my current feeling is:

Korea > Japan > Vietnam > Taiwan > China

[MCD]

  Land of Samsung

[The Fake Shemp]

Dude, that's your problem.  From someone who has dated Korean women - that country excels in breeding crazy women.  Really.  Korean women are insane.  Japanese women are underhanded, but relatively sane.  Chinese women are ignorant and stubborn.  I have no experience with Vietnamese and/or Taiwanese women.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I am going out a lot recently with a Korean woman who is TOTALLY crazy! It's true. But I want the crazy!! Japanese women are so, so scheming. They are always trying to figure out how to trick you into getting pregnant. At least with Koreans, the crazy is all on the surface.

Advanced Korean joke: she gives great han jobs

[Mandark]

I am going out a lot recently with a Korean woman who is TOTALLY crazy! It's true. But I want the crazy!! Japanese women are so, so scheming. They are always trying to figure out how to trick you into getting pregnant. At least with Koreans, the crazy is all on the surface.

Advanced Korean joke: she gives great han jobs

By dosing you with an experimental fertility drug?

[Howard Alan Treesong]

yes, I can't tell you the number of times I had to take a pill out of my onigiri and go, "AND WHAT IS THIS DEAR"

[CrystalGemini]

Dude, that's your problem.  From someone who has dated Korean women - that country excels in breeding crazy women.  Really.  Korean women are insane.  Japanese women are underhanded, but relatively sane.  Chinese women are ignorant and stubborn.  I have no experience with Vietnamese and/or Taiwanese women.

Jeannette's Taiwanese.