Author Topic: so i rented smash brothers, and subspace emissary isn't completely disgraceful  (Read 7370 times)

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drohne

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it's like a distinguished mentally-challenged version of viewtiful joe -- and if you're going to make a distinguished mentally-challenged version of something, you could certainly do worse. the controls and collisions have that nasty rubbery smash brothers feeling, and every attack has an inappropriate fuckton of recovery time, but it's still decent fun. i don't know whether to skip the cutscenes or watch them in disbelief. it's like somebody spent hundreds of thousands of dollars animating the cleaner passages of a slash fanfic. i don't really care about the integrity of princess zelda as a character, but it still feels like some principle is being violated when she rides shotgun on kirby's flying star -- it's like seeing a washed-up actor slur his way through a late-night infomercial. that much is tolerable. but i start to feel sick when i imagine the stirring in a ninthing's breast as he watches starfox rescue diddy kong from a giant rampaging pokemon. the people we hang out with on videogame message boards? this sort of thing legitimately pushes their buttons -- they watch it and feel roughly the way i felt during the better scenes of a competent genre movie like michael clayton

most of the music sucks. ugly synth rearrangements of songs that sounded better on primitive soundchips -- it's got the same nasty rubbery feeling as the gameplay
« Last Edit: April 03, 2008, 09:53:18 PM by drohne »

MCD

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 :piss the great maze :piss2

once you get there, you will never play it again.

Joe Molotov

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Space Space Emissary is complete shit. Even ntards are above that garbage. SMH drohne.
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Beezy

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SSE plays a bit slower than the rest of the game. I forgot the reason why that was done.

There's nothing hard or annoying about the Great Maze unless you can't read a map.

but i start to feel sick when i imagine the stirring in a ninthing's breast as he watches starfox rescue diddy kong from a giant rampaging pokemon.
:rofl

drohne

  • Senior Member
Space Space Emissary is complete shit. Even ntards are above that garbage. SMH drohne. (Image removed from quote.)

maybe you're 'above it' after you've finished tugging off to it -- normal people sometimes feel that way about normal pornography

and smash's mechanical defects are less damaging to an action game than they are to a fighting game

Joe Molotov

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Space Space Emissary is complete shit. Even ntards are above that garbage. SMH drohne. (Image removed from quote.)

maybe you're 'above it' after you've finished tugging off to it -- normal people sometimes feel that way about normal pornography

and smash's mechanical defects are less damaging to an action game than they are to a fighting game

You say that as if you've ever played a Smash Bros games before. And for the record, you've probably seen more of the cutscenes than I have, I made it about 40% through SSE before I gave up, and skipped all but the first few cutscenes to get through it faster.
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Joe Molotov

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I wouldn't even have the heart to reply to that.  Soldier on, Smash fan.

Bitches don't know bout my Smash Bros.
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CurseoftheGods

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Yesterday I saw a video of two men making out on a boat cruise, and it wasn't nearly as gay as the shit I've seen playing through the SSE. Playing through that mode to unlock all the characters was fucking insulting.

I'll probably keep the game for those times when my friends come over, though.  

Joe Molotov

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Yesterday I saw a video of two men making out on a boat cruise, and it wasn't nearly as gay as the shit I've seen playing through the SSE. Playing through that mode to unlock all the characters was fucking insulting.

I ended up playing 450 quick matches (1 Stock, 1% Stamina) to unlock all the characters. It took less time (about 3-4 hours) and was less boring than SSE.
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CurseoftheGods

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Yesterday I saw a video of two men making out on a boat cruise, and it wasn't nearly as gay as the shit I've seen playing through the SSE. Playing through that mode to unlock all the characters was fucking insulting.

I ended up playing 450 quick matches (1 Stock, 1% Stamina) to unlock all the characters. It took less time (about 3-4 hours) and was less boring than SSE.

I wish I would've known that sooner. :'(

tiesto

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SSE wasn't too bad, there were some points that were absolutely amazing (Meta Ridley battle!) but when you got bogged down with too many areas where you had to beat the shit out of tons of enemies just to continue, that just got annoying. Not to mention the Great Maze and a cheeseball final boss.

respec knuckles to drohne for getting over his bias and giving Brawl a fair shake.
« Last Edit: April 03, 2008, 11:05:17 PM by tiesto »
^_^

drew

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like a distinguished mentally-challenged Viewtiful Joe  :lol

TakingBackSunday

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I would've thought that the music would've been something you praised.  That raises my eyebrows, gotta say.
püp

drohne

  • Senior Member
i thought i'd like the music too. i mean, i like old nintendo music. it just sounds like shit here -- i actually wonder if it's overcompressed or something

GilloD

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It's just a repackaged TEKKEN BRAWL. But it's kind of fun in Co-Op even if Co-Op is kind of busted.
wha

Joe Molotov

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It's in stereo at least, though. That should count for something.
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MCD

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donkey kong's jungle groove was the only one i liked.

Crushed

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You seriously disliked the music? One of the strong points, IMO. Not just the "omg it's the classics," those have been done to death. I had to disable set most of those to "low" because of how annoyingly frequent they were and how quickly they wore thin.

I can see your point about some of them. I was listening to a few of the songs and the MIDI was clear as day. It was one of the Zelda remixes, and right afterwards I listened to the Gerudo Desert music, which is the original N64 version. It sounded like they're still using the same music software that they were in 1998.


I didn't mind SSE though, at least until the Great Maze. Then it became mediocre, but I still enjoyed it overall, at least for the whole "unlocking stuff and finding secret rooms." Cutscenes weren't really bad or good. I don't give two shits about how Pokemon meet Meta Knight and the Ice Climbers and then Sonic appears out of nowhere because they had to shove him in at the last second, but at least they had the decency to make them brief and dialog-less.


But wait until you see Lucas hug the Pokemon Trainer in a tender mid-air moment. It will warm your cold dead heart.
wtc

CurseoftheGods

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drohne, you should GAF this. :hyper

drew

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But wait until you see Lucas hug the Pokemon Trainer in a tender mid-air moment. It will warm your cold dead heart.

 :lol

wild homo

Joe Molotov

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Two of my favorite songs are the Tetris A & B remixes.
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GilloD

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I liked the Maze level. It was the only one that had any kind exploration going for it.

But really, have we all forgotten Tekken Brawl already?
wha

Mondain

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I only burned this action game to see if my Wii modchip could take it and then when the screen title showed up I ejected the disc, turned the Wii off, put it back in the closet to let it gather dust, threw the burned disc in the trash can... I don't know if I'm ever going to play that shitty system again, except if I decide one day to play Fire Emblem

and then I played a real man's fighting game, Virtua Fighter 5 :bow

CurseoftheGods

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VF5 aka best 3D fighter ever: :rock

Mondain

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ntards thinking that Smash Bros. is a fighting game :lol

y2kev

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drohne wtf, my faith is shaken
haw

Van Cruncheon

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ntards thinking that Smash Bros. is a fighting game :lol

for once mondain gets it right :bow
duc

drohne

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drohne, you should GAF this. :hyper

i'm banned. somebody else should gaf it :hyper

MCD

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I'd do it but banned as well.

Van Cruncheon

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i'll gaf it. new thread, or pick one for me
duc

Beezy

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New thread, Prole. The other Smash threads are too big.

drohne

  • Senior Member
new thread would just get locked. maybe the smash thread would be better. i dunno. whichever.


drohne

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:bow drinky crow :bow2

Van Cruncheon

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even money says it gets roughly 50-odd "lol drinky your schtick is so tired" posts before lock and my week-long ban
duc

MCD

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 :heart professor.

TakingBackSunday

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I loved how you got rid of the second part of drohne's title  :lol
püp

drohne

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i'm hoping it stays open long enough to see a sincere defense of those astonishing cutscenes

btw nate bihihlihilkruderanddorfmeister is posting in the smash thread -- excellent trolling opportunity

Van Cruncheon

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on the first set of responses: wow, drohne is apparently a better drinky crow than drinky crow, as it were :'(
duc

drohne

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bleh. locked. gaf is no fun anymore

Van Cruncheon

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locked so soon before its time :'(

dragona or sp0rsk?
« Last Edit: April 04, 2008, 01:00:49 AM by Professor Prole »
duc

y2kev

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sse....it's just bad though. it just doesn't work. the controls just don't feel right for platforming, and the "coop" mode is broken.

the great maze is complete shit....

i dunno man, it plays more like kirby than viewtiful joe. if kirby could be hit 400 times before dying.

some of the music is good. sakuraba needs to take a small break. koshiro is good though.
haw

Beezy

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on the first set of responses: wow, drohne is apparently a better drinky crow than drinky crow, as it were :'(
When it comes to Nintendo fans, yes he is.

Van Cruncheon

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the delusional neediness of the modern sony fanboy incarnation has distracted me from the true hate :'(
duc

Joe Molotov

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bleh. locked. gaf is no fun anymore

Post it at NAG.
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drohne

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ninthings are barely worth trolling anymore. they've retreated from games and holed up in the deadly dull and essentially untrollable world of sales figures

MoxManiac

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Haha you did get someone banned before it got locked.
no

demi

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Gfags, I guess that is the new name for EB
fat

MCD

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gfags? as in gamefaqs?

SMH

TVC15

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Quick lock, but hey, you got someone banned!
serge

Joe Molotov

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EBers are GameFAGs, because we're gay for games!
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drohne

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i think he means 'gfags' as in 'the homosexuals who gather to discuss g's cavernous asshole'

basically what demi said

EmCeeGrammar

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Drohne, there are about 300 songs in this game. If you just played the early part of sse, its no indication that you wont find alot to like

king ddd theme
pokemon bike music
norfair
angel island
flower field
mute city (i cried just about)
bramble blast
showtune corniness fun on the warioware stage
Calling to the night
encounter...

This is pointless. Just go into my music leave your preconceptions out and savor it. Brawl is worth buying as an ost in itself.
sad

EmCeeGrammar

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sad

Van Cruncheon

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smh @ ninthing cultural calibration
duc

hyp

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so did you get banned prole?
pyh

EmCeeGrammar

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And Im usually quick with acronyms, but Ill admit smh is making me question my cerebralalitynessness.
sad

Robo

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i think he means 'gfags' as in 'the homosexuals who gather to discuss g's cavernous asshole'

basically what demi said

niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice
obo

EmCeeGrammar

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sad

Joe Molotov

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And Im usually quick with acronyms, but Ill admit smh is making me question my cerebralalitynessness.

So Much Homo
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