Author Topic: I put on my robe and wizard hat, to steal your penis  (Read 1831 times)

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ParticleReality

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I put on my robe and wizard hat, to steal your penis
« on: April 22, 2008, 06:45:47 PM »
Quote
KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.

(For full Reuters Africa coverage and to have your say on the top issues, visit: africa.reuters.com/ )

I wonder what would happen if someone did this to Mandingo or Lex Steel.

Joe Molotov

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Re: I put on my robe and wizard hat, to steal your penis
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2008, 06:47:38 PM »
Baby, baby, I'm sorry don't leave, it's usually not like this but I got touched by a sorcerer! And I just got out of the pool!  :(
©@©™

Ganhyun

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Re: I put on my robe and wizard hat, to steal your penis
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2008, 06:50:21 PM »
lol. I'll do the obvious.

Thread comes up short.
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Laramie

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Re: I put on my robe and wizard hat, to steal your penis
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2008, 06:53:10 PM »
Oh finally, an excuse for my tiny penis.

"Sorry baby, it's cursed.  Ain't nothing I can do about it."
Dog

Ichirou

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Re: I put on my robe and wizard hat, to steal your penis
« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2008, 06:54:16 PM »
.
« Last Edit: April 25, 2008, 03:51:34 AM by Ichi »
PS4

Herr Mafflard

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Re: I put on my robe and wizard hat, to steal your penis
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2008, 07:01:42 PM »

Ganhyun

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Bildi

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Re: I put on my robe and wizard hat, to steal your penis
« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2008, 08:59:56 PM »
Oh finally, an excuse for my tiny penis.

"Sorry baby, it's cursed.  Ain't nothing I can do about it."

I hope the black magic is retrospective because I've been using this excuse for the last decade.

Madrun Badrun

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Re: I put on my robe and wizard hat, to steal your penis
« Reply #8 on: April 22, 2008, 10:52:36 PM »
 :lol

Laramie

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Re: I put on my robe and wizard hat, to steal your penis
« Reply #9 on: April 22, 2008, 11:30:35 PM »
Oh finally, an excuse for my tiny penis.

"Sorry baby, it's cursed.  Ain't nothing I can do about it."

I hope the black magic is retrospective because I've been using this excuse for the last decade.

I wish my penis had "the black magic" if you know what I mean. 
Dog

Laramie

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Re: I put on my robe and wizard hat, to steal your penis
« Reply #10 on: April 24, 2008, 05:12:10 PM »
My thread is the superior thread.

Wrong, your thread came to early (no pun!).  This story needed to mature a bit before it was ready for EB. Too soon PR, too soon.
Dog

Ganhyun

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Re: I put on my robe and wizard hat, to steal your penis
« Reply #11 on: April 24, 2008, 05:16:09 PM »
lol. He locked his thread man.
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Ganhyun

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Re: I put on my robe and wizard hat, to steal your penis
« Reply #12 on: April 24, 2008, 05:47:39 PM »
After I made the post. I wasn't trying to be a dick or anything, just poking a little fun at how I had beat him to it.

lol, he was gonna lock it when i told him it was old, but then Laramie asked that he leave it open so the jokes could be threw into his thread too, lol.
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