Author Topic: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno  (Read 4137 times)

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TVC15

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The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« on: April 28, 2008, 06:00:51 PM »
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D90B2K480&show_article=1

Quote
SAN ANTONIO (AP) - Texas child welfare officials say more than half the teen girls swept into state custody from a polygamist sect's ranch have been pregnant.

Child Protective Services spokesman Darrell Azar says 53 girls between the ages of 14 and 17 were living on the ranch in Eldorado. Of that group, 31 already have children or are pregnant.

I smell a Juno franchise!
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Flannel Boy

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2008, 06:02:11 PM »
Somehow these LDS chicks are even more plain looking than Ellen Paige

Mupepe

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2008, 06:03:02 PM »
goddamn that is fucking sexy.  i bet they're all innocent sounding when you're fucking them too.

Mupepe

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2008, 06:04:27 PM »
goddamn that is fucking sexy.  i bet they're all innocent sounding when you're fucking them too.

Yeah, and they look like dudes too.

You're gay so why does it matter to you? :-*

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2008, 06:13:52 PM »
Nothing? Nothing will cum of nothing.
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FlameOfCallandor

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2008, 06:18:06 PM »
OH GOD Can you imagine a whole cult of Ellen Pages? And then can you imagine them in a court house.

Judge: Please tell us about your experiences in the LDS cult Mrs. Page
Page: Well fo-shickety, I was like this aint no thing. And then we listened to a indie song while watching an indie horror film.

TVC15

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2008, 06:20:36 PM »
OH GOD Can you imagine a whole cult of Ellen Pages? And then can you imagine them in a court house.

Judge: Please tell us about your experiences in the LDS cult Mrs. Page
Page: Well fo-shickety, I was like this aint no thing. And then we listened to a indie song while watching an indie horror film.

Well, I guess the real life situation is actually more preferable, since these woman have probably been conditioned to shitcan the sass talk.
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FlameOfCallandor

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #7 on: April 28, 2008, 06:28:36 PM »
OH GOD Can you imagine a whole cult of Ellen Pages? And then can you imagine them in a court house.

Judge: Please tell us about your experiences in the LDS cult Mrs. Page
Page: Well fo-shickety, I was like this aint no thing. And then we listened to a indie song while watching an indie horror film.

Well, I guess the real life situation is actually more preferable, since these woman have probably been conditioned to shitcan the sass talk.

QFT and the probably dont talk "realistically" I by that I mean completely fabricated by a fucking stripper interpretation of teenage dialogue as seen on MTV.

Tauntaun

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #8 on: April 28, 2008, 06:29:37 PM »
OH GOD Can you imagine a whole cult of Ellen Pages? And then can you imagine them in a court house.

Judge: Please tell us about your experiences in the LDS cult Mrs. Page
Page: Well fo-shickety, I was like this aint no thing. And then we listened to a indie song while watching an indie horror film.

:lol that made me lul

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:)

TVC15

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #9 on: April 28, 2008, 06:32:41 PM »
OH GOD Can you imagine a whole cult of Ellen Pages? And then can you imagine them in a court house.

Judge: Please tell us about your experiences in the LDS cult Mrs. Page
Page: Well fo-shickety, I was like this aint no thing. And then we listened to a indie song while watching an indie horror film.

Well, I guess the real life situation is actually more preferable, since these woman have probably been conditioned to shitcan the sass talk.

QFT and the probably dont talk "realistically" I by that I mean completely fabricated by a fucking stripper interpretation of teenage dialogue as seen on MTV.

I thought it was funny how she listened to Patti Smith and several semi-obscure 70s punk acts, but she had somehow never listened to Sonic Youth.  That just doesn't even make sense.
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Mandark

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #10 on: April 28, 2008, 06:43:52 PM »
FoC trying to ape Diablo Cody comes off as more jive talk than anything.  Creepy.

The namedropping of bands and horror movies in Juno was a perfectly fine way to establish character, people.  It's not there to make you think the characters are awesome by association (like Garden State apparently does), but to reveal their personalities.

Now stop making me defend that movie.

TVC15

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #11 on: April 28, 2008, 06:47:11 PM »
The namedropping of bands and horror movies in Juno was a perfectly fine way to establish character, people.  It's not there to make you think the characters are awesome by association (like Garden State apparently does), but to reveal their personalities.

How can she not have listened to Sonic Youth?  It doesn't make ANY FUCKING SENSE.
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Mandark

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #12 on: April 28, 2008, 06:57:26 PM »
It jibes with my experience as a 15 year old.

I listened to a good amount of stuff that would be considered obscure in a US high school in the 90's, but had gaping holes in my knowledge (many of which persist to this very day).

What I did know was mainly a consequence of my parents' vinyl collection, the local classic rock DJ's, and recommendations from my old friends in England.

I think the process of learning the pop music canon is always patchwork and peculiar to the person.  Picking up on what is considered important tends to come a bit later.

Phoenix Dark

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #13 on: April 28, 2008, 07:12:57 PM »
is juno better than little miss sunshine?
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TVC15

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #14 on: April 28, 2008, 07:15:03 PM »
is juno better than little miss sunshine?

No.  It's honestly worth watching if you like quirky comedies.  There are a bunch of funny bits
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FlameOfCallandor

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #15 on: April 28, 2008, 07:33:40 PM »
Juno is a shittier version of Saved.

It's Saved meets Napoleon Dynamite.

Eric P

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #16 on: April 28, 2008, 07:33:55 PM »
just like biggie said, mormon, more problems
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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #17 on: April 28, 2008, 07:42:41 PM »
Saved is ten times the movie Juno is.
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brawndolicious

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #18 on: April 28, 2008, 07:47:36 PM »
mandark, don't be an idiot.  the stripper/call girl turned indie MTV star that wrote juno thought TEEN PREGNANCY was hilarious.  she obviously is just using name dropping as  a lazy and ineffective way of establishing the characters' personalities.  cause she's an idiot.

Vizzys

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #19 on: April 28, 2008, 07:48:41 PM »
Saved is ten times the movie Juno is.

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Don Flamenco

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #20 on: April 28, 2008, 11:18:39 PM »
Saved is ten times the movie Juno is.

(Image removed from quote.)


whoa...someone grafted Macauley Culkin's face onto William H. Macy's head.

Fragamemnon

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #21 on: April 28, 2008, 11:34:12 PM »
Saved is ten times the movie Juno is.

(Image removed from quote.)

The scene with him holding the "will dance for food" sign was hilarious.
hex

Mandark

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #22 on: April 29, 2008, 03:19:02 AM »
Thought Saved was a little predictable, but the wheelchair dance is one of the best sight gags ever.

am nintenho: That's incoherent and pretty misogynistic to boot.



Anyone up for a derail back to the original topic?  I kinda want to talk about that.

TVC15

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #23 on: April 29, 2008, 03:25:50 AM »
Anyone up for a derail back to the original topic?  I kinda want to talk about that.

Unfortunately, Mandark, it looks like there will be fewer fundamentalist Mormon sex cults now.  Anyway, those sort of things don't generally let people as young as us in.  It's all older men.  They generally chase out us young bastards so they can keep the young womenfolk for themselves.

Is Saved worth checking out?

Also, despite what you say, Mandark, Juno falls apart with the Sonic Youth thing. Sonic Youth are like the Beatles of indie rock.  Or at least the Rolling Stones.  Juno clearly states she has never heard Sonic Youth.  That's not possible.
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Mandark

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #24 on: April 29, 2008, 03:37:03 AM »
Saved is worth a rent.  You get to see Mandy Moore do her best Tracy Flick and Culkin's good.



What I'm trying to figure out with the Mormon sex cult thing (and you're right, as a scam for dirty old men they'd never try to convert dudes) is how much isolation from society does a group need before it becomes a Bad Thing, and how bad does it need to be before I'm okay having the government step in.

In a case where felonies are being committed it's easy to make the call.  But would it be okay if they waited until the girls were 18?  They'd still be brainwashed and prevented from contacting the outside world up to that point.



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I never really listened to Sonic Youth.
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TVC15

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #25 on: April 29, 2008, 03:43:50 AM »
What I'm trying to figure out with the Mormon sex cult thing (and you're right, as a scam for dirty old men they'd never try to convert dudes) is how much isolation from society does a group need before it becomes a Bad Thing, and how bad does it need to be before I'm okay having the government step in.

Well, the people in Texas were part of Warren Jeff's wing of fundamental mormons, so I am assuming they were considered questionable via association.  Maybe the government overstepped some bounds in raiding their compound, but it's turned out that their suspicions were correct.  I'm going to assume that they had some hard evidence that is not publicly admissible that there was funny incest business going on, due to the Jeffs connection.

Don't forget, Jeffs was on the FBI's ten most wanted list. . .everything he's touched is probably considered suspect to the feds. 

Quote
In a case where felonies are being committed it's easy to make the call.  But would it be okay if they waited until the girls were 18?  They'd still be brainwashed and prevented from contacting the outside world up to that point.

Good point.  I don't think there are laws on the books about mind control, though.  It would be a huge gray area, and if there were any legislation concerning it, it would probably be very broad, and enable the government to take out any groups they considered subversive.  In the end, it's probably a GOOD THING there's no legislation on it.



Quote
spoiler (click to show/hide)
I never really listened to Sonic Youth.
[close]

But I bet you've heard them before, unlike Juno.
serge

Mandark

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #26 on: April 29, 2008, 04:24:11 AM »
The potential for abuse by the authorities would be huge, yeah.

Parents have a right to pass on their values and to dictate the behavior of their kids.  But in a case where the kids are completely cut off from the rest of the world, then expected to stay on the compound when they get older, I really think the children's rights are being violated.

I'm already leery of any attempt to opt out of society and establish an alternate source of authority as being absolute.  But even the most stringent of homeschool fundamentalist kids will be exposed to the world later, through moving out, working, and plugging in to digital media.

Maybe when they turn 18, the girls would technically be deciding to stay on the compound, but how meaningful is that consent?

xnikki118x

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #27 on: April 29, 2008, 05:34:46 AM »
Maybe when they turn 18, the girls would technically be deciding to stay on the compound, but how meaningful is that consent?

It's not meaningful. They're taught from an early age that the rest of the world is bad. They're taught that they need to stay on the compound and play by the rules if they're going to be OMGSAVED.

The whole thing is really just very sad.
:-*

Eric P

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #28 on: April 29, 2008, 08:48:34 AM »
Anyone up for a derail back to the original topic?  I kinda want to talk about that.

yes, can we please acknowledge my brilliant joke?
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Eric P

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #29 on: April 29, 2008, 10:17:18 AM »
thank you
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ToxicAdam

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #30 on: April 29, 2008, 11:50:18 AM »
Eric P, you are a funny dude.


If God didn't want us to sleep with 15 year olds, why did he make them so damn fertile? This is just God's will people .. your silly man-made laws are irrelevant.


Eric P

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #31 on: April 29, 2008, 12:08:32 PM »
Eric P, you are a funny dude.

sadly, looks aren't everything.
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recursivelyenumerable

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #32 on: April 29, 2008, 12:17:56 PM »
I love Patti Smith and obscure 70s punk groups and have never knowingly heard Sonic Youth.  I guess I'm not all that realistic though (low geometry, attempts to compensate through fancy textures and lighting effects)
« Last Edit: April 29, 2008, 12:22:50 PM by recursivelyenumerable »
QED

Eric P

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #33 on: April 29, 2008, 12:38:34 PM »
I love Patti Smith and obscure 70s punk groups and have never knowingly heard Sonic Youth.  I guess I'm not all that realistic though (low geometry, attempts to compensate through fancy textures and lighting effects)

633
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Bloodwake

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #34 on: April 29, 2008, 05:29:55 PM »
is juno better than little miss sunshine?

Yes. IMO.
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Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #35 on: April 29, 2008, 05:35:00 PM »
If God didn't want us to sleep with 15 year olds, why did he make them so damn fertile? This is just God's will people .. your silly man-made laws are irrelevant.

geeky tendencies... conservative politics ... thinks we should all be sleeping with 15-year-olds...

Piers Anthony, I'm calling you out!
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Eric P

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #36 on: April 29, 2008, 05:38:11 PM »
If God didn't want us to sleep with 15 year olds, why did he make them so damn fertile? This is just God's will people .. your silly man-made laws are irrelevant.

geeky tendencies... conservative politics ... thinks we should all be sleeping with 15-year-olds...

Piers Anthony, I'm calling you out!

it's all just an honest myth-take!
Tonya

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #37 on: April 29, 2008, 05:54:58 PM »
I actually think Anthony's a fairly talented writer and would be capable of writing decent books were he not burdened with (1) an apparent compulsion to churn them out every three weeks or whatever, (2) an infatuation with his own (occasionally real) cleverness and (3) teh creepy.
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Bloodwake

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #38 on: April 29, 2008, 06:03:14 PM »
If God didn't want us to sleep with 15 year olds, why did he make them so damn fertile? This is just God's will people .. your silly man-made laws are irrelevant.

geeky tendencies... conservative politics ... thinks we should all be sleeping with 15-year-olds...

Piers Anthony, I'm calling you out!

God, I want to wipe my ass with Piers Anthony novels. Total tripe.
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BobbyRobby

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #39 on: April 29, 2008, 06:34:28 PM »
FoC trying to ape Diablo Cody comes off as more jive talk than anything.  Creepy.

The namedropping of bands and horror movies in Juno was a perfectly fine way to establish character, people.  It's not there to make you think the characters are awesome by association (like Garden State apparently does), but to reveal their personalities.

Now stop making me defend that movie.

it establishes an unlikable character though.  and while name-dropping may be realistic, the way she talked and handled for the first half of the movie was very unrealistic.

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #40 on: April 29, 2008, 06:36:14 PM »
a movie with exaggerated and stylized dialogue?   :o
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FlameOfCallandor

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #41 on: April 29, 2008, 07:00:57 PM »
I bet not one teenage girl exists that has ever heard of all those indie low key musicians and the horror film guy.

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #42 on: April 29, 2008, 09:02:46 PM »
I actually think Anthony's a fairly talented writer and would be capable of writing decent books were he not burdened with (1) an apparent compulsion to churn them out every three weeks or whatever, (2) an infatuation with his own (occasionally real) cleverness and (3) teh creepy.

I've only read one Piers Anthony books, I don't remember which one but it was one of the Xanth books, and it had a 10 year old kid trying to find out what sex was, and then almost getting some mermaid poon.
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Olivia Wilde Homo

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #43 on: April 29, 2008, 09:49:29 PM »
I'll second the notion of all the intelligent EB'ers who hate Juno.  I cannot elucidate my thoughts for how hackneyed Juno is.

As for the FLDS, everyone knew shady shit was going on there.  The whole cult is tainted because it is mostly all about isolation (never a good thing for any group in any society) and trying to circumvent laws as much as possible (again, never a good thing).  Police probably overstepped their bounds but since their suspicions proved correct, it is justified.

They are building a new compound in South Dakota.
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TVC15

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #44 on: April 29, 2008, 10:07:34 PM »
Juno has some good bits.  A lot of the dialogue is so self-consciously goofy and wacky that it sounds like it was cribbed from an unproduced sequel to Napoleon Dynamite, though.
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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #45 on: April 29, 2008, 11:28:36 PM »
Only in Texas...  :-*

Olivia Wilde Homo

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #46 on: April 30, 2008, 12:00:39 AM »
I thought Juno and Napoleon Dynamite were different movies.

Napoleon Dynamite was about a pack of losers in Buttfuck, Idaho.  I thought the movie was decent because I think we all knew someone like Napoleon.  There were a few kids at my HS that were like him in fact.

Juno was all about shoring up indie cred first before establishing any kind of a plot.  I have to be honest, the dialog was unrealistic but it was still more realistic than a Kevin Smith movie.  Then it seems like Diablo Cody decided that enough names were dropped to where she could start unfolding the plot.  Then when the movie got weak, throw in some Arrested Development characters.  Add in some more sarcastic humor and then play the guitar in the end.

It was a broken as fuck movie.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2008, 12:08:33 AM by The Experiment »
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Flannel Boy

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #47 on: April 30, 2008, 12:03:57 AM »
I didn't like Juno at all. I may have laughed once and the dialog made me roll my eyes more than once.

Mandark

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #48 on: April 30, 2008, 12:37:25 AM »
Juno has some good bits.  A lot of the dialogue is so self-consciously goofy and wacky that it sounds like it was cribbed from an unproduced sequel to Napoleon Dynamite, though.

Aside from being deliberately quirky, they have very different dialogue.  Juno's characters are aware that most of the jokes in the movie are jokes, while the people living in the Napoleon Dynamite world are completely sincere about every line.


a movie with exaggerated and stylized dialogue?   :o

It's not as bad as some people make it out to be, but there are parts where it definitely hurts.  The first two scenes had me really worried that the whole experience was going to be like that.

Flannel Boy

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #49 on: April 30, 2008, 12:39:49 AM »
The only enjoyable thing about Juno was watching my co-workers breasts bounce up and down as she laughed at the unfunny jokes.

Eric P

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #50 on: April 30, 2008, 08:54:53 AM »
The only enjoyable thing about Juno was watching my co-workers breasts bounce up and down as she laughed at the unfunny jokes.

honest to blog?
Tonya

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #51 on: April 30, 2008, 11:22:23 AM »
Napoleon Dynamite was hilarious when I first saw it because I had A ) never seen a commercial for it.  B ) Had no idea what it was about and C ) expected something totally different and D ) was drunk as fuck and high as a kite. 

The first time I saw it, it was glorious.  When I watch it now, it's somewhat painful, but I have some good memories for that movie.

TVC15

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #52 on: April 30, 2008, 01:34:26 PM »
The only enjoyable thing about Juno was watching my co-workers breasts bounce up and down as she laughed at the unfunny jokes.

honest to blog?

THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!

Also, I'd say this discussion has gone too far over the edge of reason when we starting talking about the sincerity of the dialogue in Napoleon Dynamite.  Way too far.
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Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #53 on: April 30, 2008, 01:40:28 PM »
Napoleon Dynamite is perhaps the only comedy I've never finished watching. I have never laughed less in my entire life.
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Olivia Wilde Homo

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #54 on: April 30, 2008, 02:34:34 PM »
The only time I laughed at Napoleon Dynamite was when that guy randomly pushed Napoleon into the lockers.
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Eric P

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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #55 on: April 30, 2008, 02:37:41 PM »
i didn't even see napoleon dynomite

it was like a midwest suburban wes anderson movie or something.

i'm sorry, i nurse my pretensions to avoid a certain class of people

but i did like Hedder in Blades of Glory, one of a handful of gay panic movies released last year
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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #56 on: April 30, 2008, 02:55:42 PM »
Napoleon Dynamite is perhaps the only comedy I've never finished watching. I have never laughed less in my entire life.

I only managed to finish it because of the setting-it's rural surreality was actually pretty reflective of the area it was supposed to be set in. As a bonus, it was a teen movie not set in an insipid suburb.

As a bringer of laughter? It was awful.
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Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #57 on: April 30, 2008, 05:52:17 PM »
Yeah, ND was horrid.

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  • Senior Member
Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #58 on: April 30, 2008, 06:24:46 PM »
I liked ND.  I saw it before I knew of its cultural status.  fuck y'all haters.
QED

FlameOfCallandor

  • The Walking Dead
Re: The Texas Fundamentalist LDS cult: Even sluttier than Juno
« Reply #59 on: April 30, 2008, 06:38:35 PM »
ND was awesome when it first came out. It didnt try to hard to be indie at all.