Social Pariahs

[BobbyRobby]

I always find myself sticking up for social pariahs. It's just too easy to join certain hate trains, and I won't allow myself to do it. It sucks because by showing any amount of sympathy for these types, people will assume that you find no fault in their actions, or even share their agenda. Like whenever a discussion about rape or pedophilia occur, certain people will try and act tough saying they deserve death. If I don't refute them, I feel guilty that I'm complacently contributing to declining societal morals. I can't even count the amount of times I was accused of being a racist for simply saying people should have unlimited free speech.

I have a good story about the topic.

My friend was at a party where this drunk girl started annoying her. At first he was patient, but she soon really got on his nerves. He said something to her that set her off, and she started flailing her arms, and hitting her. He pushed her away, she freaked out, poured a glass of wine on him, and continued to attack him. He punched her in the face. Now I wouldn't have done the same thing in his place, but I really couldn't fault him that much as she had entirely caused the conflict with no prior action on his part. Even the mutual girlfriends I shared with the punched girl thought that she deserved to get hit.

A day or so later she rounded up a bunch of bros who went to the kids house, and beat the shit out of him on his front lawn.

About two months later I was at a party and the girl who got punched was there as well. I got a call from a friend who asked me for directions to the house. I wasn't aware that the puncher was with them. My friend shows up with the puncher, and it was apparent that I had invited them. The kid who owned the house got pissed, and I started to explain to him that there was no longer any bad blood between the two. While I'm doing this I hear a commotion break out. I ask someone what happened, and I'm told that the kid just punched her in the face again. Jesus.

I run over and try to mediate to a very angry mob that was forming. I tried to tell them that though it appeared unprovoked, that he at least had some reason to attack her. The puncher was extremely drunk, barely able to speak, and I knew that if I let him fight that there was a good chance he might suffer permanent damage, and a slight chance he might've died. I tell the crowd that I wanted to talk to the puncher alone for a moment. At this point I grabbed his arm and ran off with him. I tried to explain to him what was happening, but he was totally oblivious. We escaped the backyard, accidently breaking a fence post on the way out, and fled down the street. Three kids followed us, and caught up with the puncher. They started fighting on a front lawn and I attempted to pull one kid off of him. During this a woman comes outside and starts freaking out. She calls the cops, and the kids ran. The puncher stays. By the way he was talking it became apparent that he forgot that he just punched the girl ten minutes earlier. He keeps saying he wants to talk to the cops, and I keep telling him that we have to run away. The cops showed up, and I'm still arguing with him. As if things weren't terrible enough, he hands me a bag of weed as the cops approaches us, which I immediately drop upon realizing what it was. This fortunately went unseen. The cop asks us where we came from, and my friend blurts out the location of the house. He tells us to wait at the cop car. I tell him this is our last chance to get away, and ran off.

By helping him escape I pissed off a lot of people, and probably permanently ruined my reputation with others, but I didn't really care. It was a great natural high.

Am I alone in having this great urge to stick up for pariahs? I sometimes try to tell myself that I have limited time and resources that could be better spent helping good people. Though I know that if I don't, no one else might. I'm not trying to come off as a totally selfless guy, because I do get off on being a minority. Can anyone else relate to this? Is my psychological drive in these matters a lot more intense? Do most people just ignore these urges?

[BlueTsunami]

I always wanted to punch an obnoxiously drunk chick in the face, hes living the dream. Second time sounds like he was totally at fault though.

[BobbyRobby]

I love to tell the other side of the story too mate, even if I don't agree with it.

Also why did the guy punch her a second time?

He was just extremely drunk, and harboring a grudge for the girl having him ambushed.

I don't condone the second punch.  I wouldn't have minded if there was a one on one fight afterwards, but there was no chance of that happening, so I had to get him out of there.

[Van Cruncheon]

it's just an exercise of power, and not a particularly productive one at that. people who can't express power in common social venues look for niches to exploit -- it's how we're wired.

[enjoy bell woods]

Aren't you the dude that's friends with skinheads?

[Don Flamenco]

The second punch was justified (for the ambush) but really dumb...he should've been more creative with his revenge, but you did the right thing getting him out of there. 

I play mediator a lot and if that means sticking up for the pariah, so be it.  if people get pissed because I'm not on their side or they think I'm tainted for associating with the less popular side, then they suck.  I tell them I'd rather just talk with them instead of sensationalizing the issue by having a war about it. 

[BobbyRobby]

Aren't you the dude that's friends with skinheads?

I've been cordial with them, but there are no people I come into repeated contact or hang out with that are skinheads.  I do have an uncle who is a hardcore seperatist/racist that I like, despite the fact I disagree with him.

it's just an exercise of power, and not a particularly productive one at that. people who can't express power in common social venues look for niches to exploit -- it's how we're wired.

I understand this concept.  I don't understand what power I am deriving though.  Power as I understand it, is something that increases your ability to do things, and get things you want.  I may reap some small rewards and feel content after doing something like I did in the story posted, but I would argue that my power decreased overall.

[Candyflip]

I never understood the mentality behind getting together a mob of people to jump one person. That would make me feel the opposite of manly. Duno, I almost think that warrants another punch to the face.

[brawndolicious]

they are both extremely emotional and idiotic wastes of pubic hair.  I don't know if either is a "social pariah" but with that sort of situation, it's best to just not get involved and try to keep the two parties seperated.

[Van Cruncheon]

it's just an exercise of power, and not a particularly productive one at that. people who can't express power in common social venues look for niches to exploit -- it's how we're wired.

I understand this concept.  I don't understand what power I am deriving though.  Power as I understand it, is something that increases your ability to do things, and get things you want.  I may reap some small rewards and feel content after doing something like I did in the story posted, but I would argue that my power decreased overall.

you don't have to be successful -- it's simply the feeling that you have the power to resist prevailing sentiment and survive, and that the majority is forced to deal with you. in it's negation of prevailing social sentiment, you attract attention and force people to acknowledge you, and that's a form of power exercise. it's what drives a large portion of internet contrarianism, after all!

[recursivelyenumerable]

I am an internet contrarian and as a quasi-Buddhist I despise and reject power

[Don Flamenco]

I am an internet contrarian and as a quasi-Buddhist I despise and reject power

a lot of quasi-buddhists at my school are power hungry and they don't even know it.  it's weird...but I'm not damning you or saying that you are like these people-- just saying it's really, really hard to not desire power in some form.

[Van Cruncheon]

you can't be a contrarian and seek harmony, and being deliberately paradoxical is always a desperate plea for attention

there's better quirk to be had than you, smh @ needy posers

[BobbyRobby]

you don't have to be successful -- it's simply the feeling that you have the power to resist prevailing sentiment and survive, and that the majority is forced to deal with you. in it's negation of prevailing social sentiment, you attract attention and force people to acknowledge you, and that's a form of power exercise. it's what drives a large portion of internet contrarianism, after all!

Alright, I get that.  It is an empowering feeling knowing that I can overcome the fear of being rejected or outcasted for doing the right thing.  I was thinking of power in a more practical sense.

I never understood the mentality behind getting together a mob of people to jump one person. That would make me feel the opposite of manly.

That's the thing about strength in numbers.  When some people know they have the upper hand, and won't be called out or embarrassed, they turn into complete assholes.  Last weekend my roommate pissed on some dudes car outside a party, got caught, apologized, washed the car off, and a few hours later almost an entire frat was outside our door trying to kick it in screaming is name. 

they are both extremely emotional and idiotic wastes of pubic hair.  I don't know if either is a "social pariah" but with that sort of situation, it's best to just not get involved and try to keep the two parties seperated.

Aside from these drunken lapses in judgement, they are both alright people.  The actions of the guy in the story were extremely uncharacteristic of him.  I pretty much just told you the worst things both have done.

[recursivelyenumerable]

true Buddhism is about being critical, see this essay by Noriaki Hakamaya.

By “Critical Buddhism” I mean to indicate that “Buddhism is criticism”
or that “only that which is critical is Buddhism.” Of course, this is
not actually the case, since obviously not all Buddhism is critical. In fact,
it would not be far off the mark to say that most of what falls under the
rubric of “Buddhism” in Japan is not critical. I have advanced the proposition
“Buddhism is criticism” in order to bring this question out into the
open as far as possible, though I fear it might be dismissed out of hand by
those who feel that I am overlooking the simple historical or cultural facts
of the matter. Be that as it may, I shall tentatively speak of the kind of
uncritical pseudo-Buddhism found in Japan as “Topical Buddhism” and
proceed to explore it in the pages that follow. [...]
In my critique of the Kyoto philosophers, I characterized their work as an attempt to erect
a philosophical superstructure for the self-affirming adulation of Japanese
culture, a task they accomplished by merging the idea of original enlightenment,
the self-affirming and pompously declared “glory of the Eastern
spirit” masquerading as Buddhism, and a brand of idealism more German
than Western.
[...]some ideas traditionally thought to be at the core of Mahayana Buddhism in fact eviscerate Buddhism[...]
the Japanese notion of “harmony” (taken to be the defining value of Japanese culture from the time of Prince Shõtoku) [is]
anti-Buddhist and nothing more than political ideology pure and simple.

[Human Snorenado]

This explains your Libertopianism, Bobby.

[Barry Egan]

Interestingly, the will to power and buddhism have much in common,  and they are certainly the two most popular forms of nihilistic ideology on the planet. 

Nietzsche fucks the buddha up though.  Intellectually whips the Buddha's ass raw.  Will to Power  

[recursivelyenumerable]

buddhism isn't nihilistic, wtf man.  nietzsche claimed it was but he was full of shit.

[Barry Egan]

I think that buddhism is at the very least practically nihilistic, in that the ebb and flow of the material world is essentially meaningless.  You gain karma through disinterest.