I hate going to Walmart

[BobbyRobby]

the closest mall to campus is like this for me.  one particularly awful experience happened when I was waiting outside a dressing room door for a friend to try on a pair of jeans.  I looked over to see a girl that I used to hook up with a month or so prior.  Things had ended really awkwardly between us.  we only talked when drunk, and unsuccessfully tried to have sex 3 times. (because of my excessive adderall use and/or drinking.)

I started up a conversation that petered off after about a minute and a half.  The next four or so minutes that followed until my friend came out of the room sucked.

[Bloodwake]

I hate to say it but I've been in similar situations that PD has been. But before we get to those:

WAL-MART FUCKING SUCKS

I ALWAYS run into someone I hate talking to. For example, some girl I had a crush on my sophomore year of high school but wizened up because she was in middle school and already fucking everyone with a dick. I run into her a lot. I run into teachers or people from the church I used to go to a lot as well. Totally inconvenient. Plus, in addition to that, Wal-Mart fucking sucks in general. Everyone that works there is inconsiderate because their jobs are shitty. None of them exert an effort into helping you find anything, and none of them have an accurate knowledge of the inventory in their own sections. It's amazing how many times I've pointed out items that they've clearly told me on the phone they didn't have because they were too lazy to get up off of their asses and check. Plus, Wal-Mart rapes a community. My hometown is trying to get people to come back to downtown, which was destroyed by Wal-Mart. There's a reason that certain cities won't let Wal-Mart have a store.

Yeah, in high school, there would be these ugly churchgoing girls who would follow me around all the time, talking about Jesus and hitting on me. Totally awkward.

[balikeye]

It's amazing how many times I've pointed out items that they've clearly told me on the phone they didn't have because they were too lazy to get up off of their asses and check.

So you call ahead just to see if they are going to lie about having an item or not? 

[tiesto]

Amber, mention gyms a lot around her, talk about how you go to the gym at school and love going on the treadmill and then just mention all these outdoorsy, athletic activities (biking, jogging, etc)... she will probably lose interest in you and stop talking to you since she will get the hint. This is how I get rid of fatties.

[Bloodwake]

It's amazing how many times I've pointed out items that they've clearly told me on the phone they didn't have because they were too lazy to get up off of their asses and check.

So you call ahead just to see if they are going to lie about having an item or not? 

No. I call ahead because I'm usually with a group of people who are all like WAL MART SUCKS LETS NOT GO THERE UNLESS WE HAVE TO so I call ahead after hearing tons and tons of bitching. Then later someone else finds a reason to go and, voila, there's the item I wanted.

One of the more epic times I did this, I was asking for a Blu-ray movie. I said the sentence extra slow and emphasized BLU-RAY so that they might comprehend me. They told me they didn't have Blu-ray movies at all.

Of course, they did have Blu-ray movies.

[Pharmacy]

maaaaaan mom made go outside today.......iwas listening to my linkin park cd and mom busts in and goes like "hey go to walmart for me deary!!" and i was like "did you SEE the fucking do not enter sign on the door??????" (obv i didnt say fucking cos shed go nuts lol...)

so im at walmart and a girl SPEAKS TO M e, i was so nerhvous......."crawling in my skin, these wounds they will heal...NAAAT" - borat,

[Powerslave]

Amber, mention gyms a lot around her, talk about how you go to the gym at school and love going on the treadmill and then just mention all these outdoorsy, athletic activities (biking, jogging, etc)... she will probably lose interest in you and stop talking to you since she will get the hint. This is how I get rid of fatties.

Haha, he could ask her if she works out

[Phoenix Dark]

I'm getting ready to head to Applebees. Wish me luck  :'(

[Howard Alan Treesong]

thanks for putting my depressing dating life in perspective

[Phoenix Dark]

dude

1. you're educated
2. you have a good job
3. you aren't ugly; granted you aren't good looking but chicks don't care as much about that

I refuse to believe you can't bag a black square glasses wearin, coffe slurpin, literary type chick who may or may not take showers regularly

[demi]

dude

1. you're educated
2. you have a good job
3. you aren't ugly; granted you aren't good looking but chicks don't care as much about that

I refuse to believe you can't bag a black square glasses wearin, coffe slurpin, literary type chick who may or may not take showers regularly

He's going to Japan, you can throw all of that out the window, he'll be slapping skins within a week

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I refuse to believe you can't bag a black square glasses wearin, coffe slurpin, literary type chick who may or may not take showers regularly

that's the problem, I am irresistable to the type of woman I don't want to bag.

[Eric P]

I refuse to believe you can't bag a black square glasses wearin, coffe slurpin, literary type chick who may or may not take showers regularly

that's the problem, I am irresistable to the type of woman I don't want to bag.

those are the most fun

"you know nothing of my existential suffering!"

then you dookiechute them listening to the Can-Can

[Phoenix Dark]

Just got back from Applebees. Overall it wasn't a total disaster despite her trying to feed me and my friend. As expected I got more than a few annoying stares from people 

She ordered a big plate of ribs and shrimp. After I finished my food she picked up a rib and put it all in my face, telling me to eat it. I refused so she stuffed it in her mouth, then did her best Anastasia Blue impression as she licked her fingers. I admit, I got a boner despite being disgusted with myself

After dinner she wanted to go to Borders but I told her I had a doctor's appointment and bailed out. My friend decided to go to Borders with her instead, which is disturbing. I think he's going to bang her tonight 

[demi]

smh PD... that could have been it

[Howard Alan Treesong]

you told her you had a doctor's appointment? at like 8 PM at night? smh at your pathetic excuses

[FatalT]

you told her you had a doctor's appointment? at like 8 PM at night? smh at your pathetic excuses

Dude, she was deep-throating her barbecue sauce covered fingers. A doctor's appointment is a completely legitimate excuse in that situation.

[Fresh Prince]

I'd watch out for your friend, he'll probably get his dick eaten off now.

[Bloodwake]

I'd watch out for your friend, he'll probably get his dick eaten off now.

NOM NOM NOM

[Bloodwake]

thanks for putting my depressing dating life in perspective

rofl.

Yeah, really.

[crimsondynamics]

I've always held the motto, "try everything in life, and what you like, try again."

I've hit up two fatties in my time. No, thanks. Neither time worked.

You don't have to go and bang her Amber Lambchops, but if you two didn't really weren't buddies, apart from sharing bio class, why even bother? It's not like you've been looking for this opportunity.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

And shit, she's so fugly, my dick's nicer. Sorry, but that's how it is for me.

[close]

[Laramie]

"Hey Maurice, it's 1:30 a.m. and I'm too scared to walk back to my Michigan apartment all alone, can I stay here?"

"Sorry doll, I've got to be to the dentists in a half hour."

[FatalT]

"Hey Maurice, it's 1:30 a.m. and I'm too scared to walk back to my Michigan apartment all alone, can I stay here?"

"Sorry doll, I've got to be to the dentists in a half hour."

He said doctor's appointment. There are doctors that have late hours. It could be anything, STD check, emergency care check-up.

[Laramie]

"Hey Maurice, it's 1:30 a.m. and I'm too scared to walk back to my Michigan apartment all alone, can I stay here?"

"Sorry doll, I'm being tested for hepatitis in a half hour."

[Bloodwake]

"Hey Maurice, it's 1:30 a.m. and I'm too scared to walk back to my Michigan apartment all alone, can I stay here?"

"Sorry doll, I'm being tested for hepatitis in a half hour."

[FatalT]

"Hey Maurice, it's 1:30 a.m. and I'm too scared to walk back to my Michigan apartment all alone, can I stay here?"

"Sorry doll, I'm being tested for hepatitis in a half hour."

That works, especially after being with hambeast. THUMBS UP!

[aoi tsuki]

Daaaaamn, Blossom got fat.