I was speeding on my way to work today, got pulled over, and received a $300 ticket. After calling myself a moron 500 times while sitting in the Ford parking lot, I proceeded to lock my keys inside the car. I managed to arrive at my desk one minute early, only to forget to punch in my timecard. After punching my card fifteen minutes later, and calling myself a moron an additional 500 times, I received an irate telephone call over a mistake I made yesterday (technically I didn't make the mistake but it was made under my screen name). But that's OK because I made several giant mistakes of my own today: I mixed up paperwork and signed off on something I shouldn't have. But hey, I only wrote my signature four times . . . they can't trace it back to me, right? If they do, I'm back to being jobless.
I also received two paper cuts and paid $70 for gas, but that's pushing it.
