Let's fight about the Oxford comma

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Oxford comma suxxx, why would you use a comma when you don't need one? Sentences have carbon footprints, too. Using the Oxford comma makes you look like a stuttering r-tard who's not sure if his list is done or not. Fuck, the, Oxford, comma.

Dropping the Oxford comma is like dropping some mad science. It shows you got sack and aren't afraid to plow right into the end of your sentence like it's an underage Thai ladyboy.

Oxford comma

[Flannel Boy]

The serial comma reduces ambiguity.

I met with three professors, two philosophers and a historian. (Did I meet with three people or six?)

I met with three professors, two philosophers, and a historian. (turns out it was six)

The serial comma helps make sentences more readable.

Today for lunch I had pizza, peanut butter and jelly and coffee.

Today for lunch I had pizza, peanut butter and jelly, and coffee.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

The serial comma introduces ambiguity:

I met with my professors, two philosophers and a historian. (you met with three people)

I met with my professors, two philosophers, and a historian. (oh God now I don't know how many people you met with)

[Van Cruncheon]

I met with my professors: two philosophers and a historian.

use a colon

jesus, fegs, read elements of style

[Robo]

who gives a fuck about an oxford comma

[Howard Alan Treesong]

of course, Prole immediately thinks of the colon

[MrAngryFace]

I just kinda wing it when im posting on forums

[Flannel Boy]

The serial comma introduces ambiguity:

I met with my professors, two philosophers and a historian. (you met with three people)

I met with my professors, two philosophers, and a historian. (oh God now I don't know how many people you met with)

But the serial comma would not be used in the second example since the elements are not of equal grammatical weight. The "two philosophers and a historian" stand in apposition to "professors." There are only two elements in the appositive; a comma would be out of place. You need at least three elements of equal grammatical weight before you may use a serial comma.

You are creating an Oxford Strawman.

I met with my professors: two philosophers and a historian.

use a colon

jesus, fegs, read elements of style

I would use a colon, but the comma is still grammatical.

And by the way, Strunk and White recommend the serial comma.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

There are rules to writing? 

Evilbore isn't Nam!

[AdmiralViscen]

Shit is going down in here

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Well, say the dedication of my new book Gimme da Gold reads:

To my father, Ron Paul and Jesus.

If it were:

To my father, Ron Paul, and Jesus.

Then it sounds like my father is Ron Paul.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[youtube=425,350]bZfyrIPw3wY[/youtube]

[close]

[Flannel Boy]

Well, say the dedication of my new book Gimme da Gold reads:

To my father, Ron Paul and Jesus.

If it were:

To my father, Ron Paul, and Jesus.

Then it sounds like my father is Ron Paul.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[youtube=425,350]bZfyrIPw3wY[/youtube]

[close]

To my friends, Ron Paul and Jesus.

Now it sounds like your friends are Ron Paul and Jesus. 

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Well, say the dedication of my new book Gimme da Gold reads:

To my father, Ron Paul and Jesus.

If it were:

To my father, Ron Paul, and Jesus.

Then it sounds like my father is Ron Paul.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[youtube=425,350]bZfyrIPw3wY[/youtube]

[close]

To my friends, Ron Paul and Jesus.

Now it sounds like your friends are Ron Paul and Jesus. 

YOU JUST CHANGED THE GRAMMATICAL WEIGHT OF THE FIRST PART OF THE PHRASE

And you call me a strawman!!

[Powerslave]

Grammar is so last year.

[Flannel Boy]

Well, say the dedication of my new book Gimme da Gold reads:

To my father, Ron Paul and Jesus.

If it were:

To my father, Ron Paul, and Jesus.

Then it sounds like my father is Ron Paul.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[youtube=425,350]bZfyrIPw3wY[/youtube]

[close]

To my friends, Ron Paul and Jesus.

Now it sounds like your friends are Ron Paul and Jesus. 

YOU JUST CHANGED THE GRAMMATICAL WEIGHT OF THE FIRST PART OF THE PHRASE

And you call me a strawman!!

No I didn't. You are grasping at straws.


I dedicate this victory to my friends, Ron Paul, and Jesus. We will being going out to dinner later tonight where we will have bread sticks, pasta and shrimp, and wine.

[BlueTsunami]

Inter, nets

[Flannel Boy]

Before beginning assembly, ensure that you have all the following parts and that you have paired those that go together: C-100, M-100 and Y-980, T-200 and R-360 and T-590.

Patel, which is a pair here: T-200 and R-360, or R-360 and T-590?

If only someone used a serial comma!

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Malek is gay

[CajoleJuice]

At least reading all those grammar handbooks has paid off for Malek.

[Flannel Boy]

At least reading all those grammar handbooks has paid off for Malek.

Most of the ones I read actually agree with Patel on this issue.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

wow, Vampire Weekend has a song called "Oxford Comma." As I needed more proof they were terrible.

[Eric P]

wow, Vampire Weekend has a song called "Oxford Comma." As I needed more proof they were terrible.

I rather enjoy vampire weekend

[Flannel Boy]

wow, Vampire Weekend has a song called "Oxford Comma." As I needed more proof they were terrible.

Only an indie rock band would write about punctuation.

[CajoleJuice]

wow, Vampire Weekend has a song called "Oxford Comma." As I needed more proof they were terrible.

What if they say it sucks in the song?

[Flannel Boy]

wow, Vampire Weekend has a song called "Oxford Comma." As I needed more proof they were terrible.

What if they say it sucks in the song?

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
I've seen those English dramas too
They're cruel
So if there's any other way
To spell the word
It's fine with me, with me

Why would you speak to me that way
Especially when I always said that I
Haven't got the words for you
All your diction dripping with disdain
Through the pain
I always tell the truth

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
I climbed to Dharamsala too
I did
I met the highest lama
His accent sounded fine
To me, to me

Check your handbook
It's no trick
Take the chapstick
Put it on your lips
Crack a smile
Adjust my tie
Know your boyfriend, unlike other guys

Why would you lie about how much coal you have?
Why would you lie about something dumb like that?
Why would you lie about anything at all?
First the window, then it's to the wall
Lil' Jon, he always tells the truth

Check your passport
It's no trick
Take the chapstick
Put it on your lips
Crack a smile
Adjust my tie
Know your butler, unlike other guys
Why would you lie about how much coal you have?
Why would you lie about something dumb like that?
Why would you lie about anything at all?
First the window, then it's through the wall
Why would you tape my conversations?
Show your paintings
At the United Nations
Lil' Jon, he always tells the truth

[CajoleJuice]

So Vampire Weekend is on the same level of suckage as Patel, it seems.

[disgruntled_jojo]

Warning - while you were reading 5 new replies have been posted. You may wish to review your post.

Holy, fuck.  We never get this much excitement without a major game announcement.  COMMATON

Back on topic:

I've been a huge supporter of the Oxford Comma since grade school.  Not only does it make the sentence more accurately reflect the reality of where we pause when reading it, but it also support parallelism.  Not giving a comma to each item in your list is discriminatory.  Just because you came before the word and, you don't get a comma?  What kind of unAmerican bullshit is that?

In related news, I once asked Patel to help proofread an article I was freelancing.  He removed all of my Oxford Commas.  Fucking grammar nazi.

[Flannel Boy]

Warning - while you were reading 5 new replies have been posted. You may wish to review your post.

Holy, fuck.  We never get this much excitement without a major game announcement.  COMMATON

Back on topic:

I've been a huge supporter of the Oxford Comma since grade school.  Not only does it make the sentence more accurately reflect the reality of where we pause when reading it, but it also support parallelism.  Not giving a comma to each item in your list is discriminatory.  Just because you came before the word and, you don't get a comma?  What kind of unAmerican bullshit is that?

In related news, I once asked Patel to help proofread an article I was freelancing.  He removed all of my Oxford Commas.  Fucking grammar nazi.

I bet they don't use the oxford comma in Japan. 

[Tieno]

I never knew there was such a thing as the Oxford comma in name, though I have used it from time to time. Kinda cool to have a comma dedicated to a University/City.

[disgruntled_jojo]

I bet they don't use the oxford comma in Japan. 

Dude, we're seriously not going to take this into other languages, are we?

[Robo]

who gives a fuck about an oxford comma

 

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Warning - while you were reading 5 new replies have been posted. You may wish to review your post.

Holy, fuck.  We never get this much excitement without a major game announcement.  COMMATON

Back on topic:

I've been a huge supporter of the Oxford Comma since grade school.  Not only does it make the sentence more accurately reflect the reality of where we pause when reading it, but it also support parallelism.  Not giving a comma to each item in your list is discriminatory.  Just because you came before the word and, you don't get a comma?  What kind of unAmerican bullshit is that?

In related news, I once asked Patel to help proofread an article I was freelancing.  He removed all of my Oxford Commas.  Fucking grammar nazi.

I bet they don't use the oxford comma in Japan. 

They call it the Toudai Comma
Also, in California we call it the Stanford Comma

[disgruntled_jojo]

I never knew there was such a thing as the Oxford comma. Kinda cool to have a comma dedicated to a University/City.

I vote that we dub the lack of an Oxford Comma the 'Stanford unComma', in honor of Patel.

edit: beaten by the man himself

[Phoenix Dark]

i'm in a thread with many english scholars, including patel, TVC, and malek. i am not a scholar, actually i'm nobody. but i have other skills, like reading, singing, and pop and locking it

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I bet they don't use the oxford comma in Japan. 

Dude, we're seriously not going to take this into other languages, are we?

GA vs. WA

[treythemovie]

wow, Vampire Weekend has a song called "Oxford Comma." As I needed more proof they were terrible.

[youtube=425,350]n43LduK2Yq8[/youtube]

[disgruntled_jojo]

Also, apparently already given multiple names, via wikipedia:

The serial comma (also known as the Oxford comma or Harvard comma)...

[Oblivion]

Grammar fegs...

[Eric P]

Grammar fegs...

they really get up in your colon

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Grammar fegs...

they really get up in your colon

they know how to interrobang you

[Eric P]

i just realized i don't know enough about grammar to rattle off a dozen puns

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I'd punctuate her so hard her hyphen would snap

[Flannel Boy]

I don't care what your gender or mood is. I certainly don't need your agreement. Stick your clause into me, and I will compound you until you comma and scream expletives at me. I will then take an indirect object and slam it into your principal parts.

I just hope to god you don't miss your period.

[CajoleJuice]

Man, how can you not get laid?

[Flannel Boy]

Man, how can you not get laid?

har har

[CajoleJuice]

Sorry, should've worked a pun in there.

[Eel O'Brian]

i love breaking grammatical rules, just to watch language nerds twitch, if you know what i mean

i mean, goddamn, if you follow the rules to a t, it makes for some boring prose, dig

but, then again, you guys like reading fantasy novels about elves, and goblins, and faeries, so you're probably used to boring prose

[Oblivion]

I've gotten used to the all lower case, punctuation-less style of forumspeak as of late, but the kind that irks the milk out of me is when you use a capital letter but don't end with a period. GOD THAT SHIT'S ANNOYING!

[Vizzys]

I have no idea what you mean

You saw this coming

[Flannel Boy]

i love breaking grammatical rules, just to watch language nerds twitch, if you know what i mean

i mean, goddamn, if you follow the rules to a t, it makes for some boring prose, dig

but, then again, you guys like reading fantasy novels about elves, and goblins, and faeries, so you're probably used to boring prose

For stylistic reasons, many rules can be bent or broken. And really, there's no reason to fear split infinitives, sentences that begin with conjunctions, or end with prepositions (these aren't hard rules anyway). However, good writing does not need to be ungrammatical--and it usually isn't. Most people's writing would improve greatly if they fastidiously held to the rules, instead of veering carelessly away from them.

[Joe Molotov]

Who cares about proper comma usage? Just throw some in there, and hope for the best. Far more important to learn is how to properly use air quotes.