Author Topic: The best Chick tract ever (Read 1762 times)

TVC15 · « **on:** May 25, 2008, 07:26:15 AM »

Sure, her parents won't ever hurt her again. The herpes however. . .

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #1 on:** May 25, 2008, 07:41:11 AM »

social realism

I didn't get the second half, though. It was almost like it was trying to push some kind of religious message or something, pretty jarring, even worse than the end of Jane Eyre. The editors really shouldn't have let that stuff through.

other than that, A++ would experience again, preferably as an expressionist opera

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #2 on:** May 25, 2008, 08:03:15 AM »

I guess Social Services accepts "Jesus" as an acceptable reason to maintain custody

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #3 on:** May 25, 2008, 08:12:36 AM »

the newest Chick tract is pretty good:

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1041/1041_01.asp

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #4 on:** May 25, 2008, 08:18:43 AM »

disappointing to see Chick reduced to doing movie tie-ins

still, this panel is great

for my part, I wish I were a polywog again

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #5 on:** May 25, 2008, 08:25:45 AM »

is Chick aware of his hipster following? does he have a plan to save us? aren't all God's children worth saving, even insufferably smug irony-addled sophists?

Crushed · « **Reply #6 on:** May 25, 2008, 11:23:59 AM »

The best one ever is still the one where Muslims are all "accidentally" praying to a moon god, as if their prayers to the Abrahamic God are all being re-rerouted by the crescent moons on the tops of mosques.

Crushed · « **Reply #7 on:** May 25, 2008, 11:29:39 AM »

okay i was wrong, this is the best one ever

wow

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #8 on:** May 25, 2008, 12:20:34 PM »

wait, was henry or the neighbor molesting lisa -- or both? the narrative is borked!

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #9 on:** May 25, 2008, 12:39:48 PM »

Quote from: Professor Prole on May 25, 2008, 12:20:34 PM

wait, was henry or the neighbor molesting lisa -- or both? the narrative is borked!

Henry was borking her at first, the neighbor found out, and then they both borked her.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #10 on:** May 25, 2008, 12:41:04 PM »

Quote from: Crushed on May 25, 2008, 11:29:39 AM

*snip*

okay i was wrong, this is the best one ever

wow

LOLZ

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #11 on:** May 25, 2008, 12:49:14 PM »

Quote from: Malek: King of Kings on May 25, 2008, 12:39:48 PM

Quote from: Professor Prole on May 25, 2008, 12:20:34 PM
wait, was henry or the neighbor molesting lisa -- or both? the narrative is borked!
Henry was borking her at first, the neighbor found out, and then they both borked her.

so i'm confused. what's worse:

a) believing i am a god thanks to evolution and thus having no morals

b) believing in jesus and getting off scot-free for years of incestuous pedophilia and child prostitution

jack, you are not helping me!

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #12 on:** May 25, 2008, 12:54:43 PM »

Quote from: Professor Prole on May 25, 2008, 12:49:14 PM

Quote from: Malek: King of Kings on May 25, 2008, 12:39:48 PM
Quote from: Professor Prole on May 25, 2008, 12:20:34 PM
wait, was henry or the neighbor molesting lisa -- or both? the narrative is borked!
Henry was borking her at first, the neighbor found out, and then they both borked her.

so i'm confused. what's worse:

a) believing i am a god thanks to evolution and thus having no morals

b) believing in jesus and getting off scot-free for years of incestuous pedophilia and child prostitution

jack, you are not helping me!

God forgives child rapists while condemning thoughtful people who believe in evolution to an eternity of punishment. What a belligerent tyrant.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #13 on:** May 25, 2008, 02:27:42 PM »

Quote from: Crushed on May 25, 2008, 11:29:39 AM

(Image removed from quote.)
(Image removed from quote.)
(Image removed from quote.)
(Image removed from quote.)
(Image removed from quote.)

okay i was wrong, this is the best one ever

wow

i'm gonna pass this out on halloween

TVC15 · « **Reply #14 on:** May 25, 2008, 02:54:34 PM »

Quote from: Professor Prole on May 25, 2008, 12:20:34 PM

wait, was henry or the neighbor molesting lisa -- or both? the narrative is borked!

That Lisa one is apparently pretty notorious. It's the only one Jack doesn't have on his website, meaning that he probably realizes that it's not okay to let incestuous pedophiles go free just because they love Jesus. It's from the 80s or some junk.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #15 on:** May 25, 2008, 03:16:58 PM »

he didn't even establish lisa as a character despite the eponymous title!

TVC15 · « **Reply #16 on:** May 25, 2008, 03:19:49 PM »

Quote from: Professor Prole on May 25, 2008, 03:16:58 PM

he didn't even establish lisa as a character despite the eponymous title!

She's a loli!

Vizzys · « **Reply #17 on:** May 25, 2008, 03:33:40 PM »

good read until it got all fake and religiousy

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #18 on:** May 25, 2008, 03:39:29 PM »

"We've got great news, honey. Daddy and I are going to never hurt you again."

Crushed · « **Reply #19 on:** May 25, 2008, 04:01:49 PM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on May 25, 2008, 02:54:34 PM

Quote from: Professor Prole on May 25, 2008, 12:20:34 PM
wait, was henry or the neighbor molesting lisa -- or both? the narrative is borked!

That Lisa one is apparently pretty notorious. It's the only one Jack doesn't have on his website, meaning that he probably realizes that it's not okay to let incestuous pedophiles go free just because they love Jesus. It's from the 80s or some junk.

There are some pretty messed up ones that I'm amazed he HASN'T taken down.

Like this one.

"We're leaving for the airport... right now."

Or this one.

But seriously, he should take this one down because he's just embarrassing himself here.

Since Leroy Brown appears to be a 17th Century Puritan, I'm assuming that this is a scene from the first Black Thanksgiving. Because the Indians and white Pilgrims took all the regular wild turkeys (Meleagris gallopavo silvestris), the black Pilgrims had to settle for the smaller and leaner jive turkey (Meleagris gallopavo ebonicus).

Also, the bald guy in the wife beater appears to have been drawn by the "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" illustrator.

Rudy from Fat Albert and the Junkyard Gang has fallen into the wrong crowd.

BobbyRobby · « **Reply #20 on:** May 25, 2008, 06:25:50 PM »

one of my favorites,
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp

Akala · « **Reply #21 on:** May 25, 2008, 06:29:51 PM »

These are depressing.

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Author Topic: The best Chick tract ever (Read 1762 times)