Help me find a funny quote to put in my thesis

[Tieno]

So I'm almost done with my thesis but I want to put in one of those flashy introductory/starting quotes, though not having any luck finding a suitable one.

My thesis is about human security, so think about something that somehow has to do/relates to peace, crime, safety, security, etc
Human security refers to an emerging paradigm for understanding global vulnerabilities whose proponents challenge the traditional notion of national security by arguing that the proper referent for security should be the individual rather than the state. Human security holds that a people-centered view of security is necessary for national, regional and global stability.

Preferably a funny one, like something from Arrested Development, The Office UK, Futurama, The Simpsons. Or if you know of a good serious one, have a go at it.

I'm going to bed now so don't make me dissapointed when I wake up next morning.

Help me Evilbore!

[demi]

He who smelt it, dealt it

[Joe Molotov]

Remember, it's not a lie if you believe it.

[Bildi]

Global security?  smh

[thekavorka]

"If the glove don't fit, you must acquit"

[Brehvolution]

Let the people have their voice, it helps weed out the dissension.

[Reb]

"You, your children, and your children's children are banned! For 3 months."

[Kestastrophe]

 "If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down on his shoulders- what would you tell him to do?"

"I...  don't know. What.... could he do? What would you tell him?"

"To shrug."

[Tieno]

Nice one Ketastrophe! I like!

[Pharmacy]

"IS NIIIIICE" - BORAT, borat movie

"Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing."

"I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity."

[Raban]

"If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down on his shoulders- what would you tell him to do?"

"I...  don't know. What.... could he do? What would you tell him?"

"To shrug."

You don't know how bad I wanna hump you right now. Between the avatar in this post...Fuck it, let's bone!

As for the OP, I dunno. Quote Andrew Ryan.

[Tauntaun]

I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE! 

[lordmaji]

"you can't have any pudding, if you don't eat your meat"

[BobFromPikeCreek]

What's the deal with airplane food?

[Tauntaun]

"I have pop pop in the attic."

"The mere fact that you call it pop pop tells me you're not ready."

[Kestastrophe]

You don't know how bad I wanna hump you right now. Between the avatar in this post...Fuck it, let's bone!

Dammit, I'm a man. Not only that, but I just got married a week and a half ago. I just couldn't cheat on my wife.............too soon..............unless we keep it secret..........

[Tauntaun]

You don't know how bad I wanna hump you right now. Between the avatar in this post...Fuck it, let's bone!

Dammit, I'm a man. Not only that, but I just got married a week and a half ago. I just couldn't cheat on my wife.............too soon..............unless we keep it secret..........

It's not cheating if it's with a dood.

[Yeti]

"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -Benjamin Franklin

I'm guessing that quote is going to be commonly used in other students' papers, but he also said "Sell not virtue to purchase wealth, nor liberty to purchase power," which is kind of the same thing and might look more original in your paper.

[Human Snorenado]

"We are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is."
-Dr. Mark Vonnegut

Doesn't really help you, but it's my favorite quote.

[Joe Molotov]

"Crom, I have never prayed to you before, I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad, why we fought or why we died. No, all that matters, is that two stood against many. That's what's important. Valour pleases you, Crom, so grant me one request: grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then the hell with you!"

[Raban]

You don't know how bad I wanna hump you right now. Between the avatar in this post...Fuck it, let's bone!

Dammit, I'm a man. Not only that, but I just got married a week and a half ago. I just couldn't cheat on my wife.............too soon..............unless we keep it secret..........

The most important secret ever

[Powerslave]

Any quote by me. Just plow through my post history and you will have a hard time picking one out (because all of them own).

[muckhole]

"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -Benjamin Franklin

So, "Live Free or Die Hard".  

[Human Snorenado]

"Crom, I have never prayed to you before, I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad, why we fought or why we died. No, all that matters, is that two stood against many. That's what's important. Valour pleases you, Crom, so grant me one request: grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then the hell with you!"

Good grief, if you're gonna quote the movie use the best quote!

"Conan, what is best in life?"
"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!"

[Joe Molotov]

"Crom, I have never prayed to you before, I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad, why we fought or why we died. No, all that matters, is that two stood against many. That's what's important. Valour pleases you, Crom, so grant me one request: grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then the hell with you!"

Good grief, if you're gonna quote the movie use the best quote!

"Conan, what is best in life?"
"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!"

Two things:

1. I guess you didn't read the Conan thread.

2. The quote you mentioned is so overexposed, I wouldn't be surprised to hear my grandmother saying it. It's like "Go ahead, make my day" or "Luke, I am you father", using a line like that is not going to earn you any street cred.