So, I took my wife to see Sex and the City tonight....

[ToxicAdam]

...still didn't get laid. 

Oh .. the movie was okay. Not too offensive or smarmy. Laughed twice.


The red headed lesbo and the slutty cougar both get nude and they actually show a guys dong at one point (!?).

[Van Cruncheon]

cigarillo

[ToxicAdam]

cigarillo

I brought my gameboy and played it for 20 minutes. Doesn't that save me a bit?

[Van Cruncheon]

a bit

[duckman2000]

cigarillo

I brought my gameboy and played it for 20 minutes. Doesn't that save me a bit?

Well, that right there probably saved you from getting laid. Which is pretty much what you'd expect from a cigarillo dude with a wife.

Luckily, my wife really isn't into Sex and the City. Of course, she makes up for it by really digging the Hallmark channel.

[demi]

Was it a nice dong? Did it make you feel like a little boy upon comparison? Details...

[ToxicAdam]

Was it a nice dong? Did it make you feel like a little boy upon comparison? Details...

I think it was a nasty European cock. Uncircumcised.  :'(

[demi]

GROSS

Guess that rules out movie weekend for me

[Skiptastic]

Man I am glad that my girlfriend both hates Sex and the City and always wants to get down.

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

Sex in the City makes The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants seem like Rambo in comparison.

No reasonable male should be made to sit through this film, relationship or not.

[duckman2000]

Was it a nice dong? Did it make you feel like a little boy upon comparison? Details...

I think it was a nasty European cock. Uncircumcised.  :'(

 

Land of the free and mutilated penises.

[demi]

Was it a nice dong? Did it make you feel like a little boy upon comparison? Details...

I think it was a nasty European cock. Uncircumcised.  :'(

 

Land of the free and mutilated penises.

SO AROUSING

[duckman2000]

A genuine accent and a decent sized, curiously European dong will get you laid in America. Add alopecia universalis to the mix, and suddenly your inherent weirdness becomes a sexy force to be reckoned with. True story. The only downside is that women will, without exception, at one point insist on doing the turtle thing with your package.

[TVC15]

Was the dong hard and/or spraying semen everywhere?

[recursivelyenumerable]

I've had gorgeous women compliment me on my affected pseudo-European accent

[Tieno]

a british-Sri Lankan friend, who has an inordanate amount of flair and charm anyways, said that he was fighting women off with a shitty stick when he worked in NY for a while.

Opening doors for people and saying after you managed to get him 3 phone numbers... wtf? is it that easy?

wow. I always open doors and the females only smile back at me. Damn prudes.

[Reb]

Maybe he opened the door with his uncut penis.

[duckman2000]

a british-Sri Lankan friend, who has an inordanate amount of flair and charm anyways, said that he was fighting women off with a shitty stick when he worked in NY for a while.

Opening doors for people and saying after you managed to get him 3 phone numbers... wtf? is it that easy?

wow. I always open doors and the females only smile back at me. Damn prudes.

[Flannel Boy]

a british-Sri Lankan friend, who has an inordanate amount of flair and charm anyways, said that he was fighting women off with a shitty stick when he worked in NY for a while.

Opening doors for people and saying after you managed to get him 3 phone numbers... wtf? is it that easy?

wow. I always open doors and the females only smile back at me. Damn prudes.

They don't even smile back when I open doors for them. They just clutch their purses and increase their walking pace.

[cloudwalking]

yes but you guys are lacking the sexy european accent.

i can't wait until i can bring jarosh to america and show him off

[Flannel Boy]

yes but you guys are lacking the sexy european accent.

i can't wait until i can bring jarosh to america and show him off

If you show him off to the wrong woman, he might leave your freckled ass. 

[FlameOfCallandor]

I think its telling that at the screening I went to, the biggest laugh came at a diarrhea joke.

[ToxicAdam]

I forgot to mention the most egregious part of the movie.


12 fucking commercials before the previews were on. WTF is that shit? Are you serious .. no wonder people don't go to movies anymore.

[cloudwalking]

yes but you guys are lacking the sexy european accent.

i can't wait until i can bring jarosh to america and show him off

If you show him off to the wrong woman, he might leave your freckled ass. 

nah, he hates americans, like every other european does

[FlameOfCallandor]

yes but you guys are lacking the sexy european accent.

i can't wait until i can bring jarosh to america and show him off

If you show him off to the wrong woman, he might leave your freckled ass. 

nah, he hates americans, like every other european does

That's ok, most americans hate europeans.

[Rman]

The commercials are standard practice these days sadly.

[APF]

Most Americans can't even spell Europeens.

[Powerslave]

So why is everybody on the internet hating on this movie suddenly? Is it the new cool thing to do? You hate a chick-flick, that's so cool. Can I join in.

[Phoenix Dark]

so how did the women in the audience react when the dick was on screen? i'm into that kind of thing

[Reb]

smh

[Tieno]

yes but you guys are lacking the sexy european accent.

i can't wait until i can bring jarosh to america and show him off

But I have sexy european accent!


We need some European flag icons btw.

[FlameOfCallandor]

So why is everybody on the internet hating on this movie suddenly? Is it the new cool thing to do? You hate a chick-flick, that's so cool. Can I join in.

Its a 2.5 hour long episode of 4 shallow woman. In 30 minute doses it's okay.

[Reb]

yes but you guys are lacking the sexy european accent.

i can't wait until i can bring jarosh to america and show him off

But I have sexy european accent!


We need some European flag icons btw.
(Image removed from quote.)

Europe, FUCK YEAH!

[FlameOfCallandor]

yes but you guys are lacking the sexy european accent.

i can't wait until i can bring jarosh to america and show him off

But I have sexy european accent!


We need some European flag icons btw.

We have one. 

[cool breeze]

Is it true that if you go watch that movie you are have to put an old mans sweaty hairy balls in your mouth?

[FlameOfCallandor]

Is it true that if you go watch that movie you are have to put an old mans sweaty hairy balls in your mouth?

[Mupepe]

i'll see this at some point, the show was good.

[ToxicAdam]

Its a 2.5 hour long episode of 4 shallow woman. In 30 minute doses it's okay.

They could have easily cut 20 minutes out of this movie. The whole subplot with her assistant was worthless.

[Pharmacy]

why did you not get laid

shes your wife for christs sake

[Flannel Boy]

why did you not get laid

shes your wife for christs sake

You answered your own question.

[FlameOfCallandor]

Its a 2.5 hour long episode of 4 shallow woman. In 30 minute doses it's okay.

They could have easily cut 20 minutes out of this movie. The whole subplot with her assistant was worthless.

But they needed to show that the girls are down with black people.

[Herr Mafflard]

So you treated your wife to the SATC movie and still didn't get laid? 














I think she's having an affair.

[demi]

She's diddling herself while TA is at work  :'(

[FancyFeast]

[youtube=425,350]CajJyuk3P_w[/youtube].

[Tristam]

So why is everybody on the internet hating on this movie suddenly? Is it the new cool thing to do? You hate a chick-flick, that's so cool. Can I join in.

Because -- and I think Stinkles said it best -- the show teaches chic, cosmopolitan women that it's perfectly acceptable to be vapid whores.

[Powerslave]

It is.

[The Sceneman]

all I care about is sex and the city

[Tristam]

Bumped for Anthony Lane's review in The New Yorker:

At least, you could argue, Miranda has a job, as a lawyer. But the film pays it zero attention, and the other women expect her to drop it and fly to Mexico without demur. (And she does.) Worse still is the sneering cut as the scene shifts from Carrie, carefree and childless in the New York Public Library, to the face of Miranda’s young son, smeared with spaghetti sauce. In short, to anyone facing the quandaries of being a working mother, the movie sends a vicious memo: Don’t be a mother. And don’t work. Is this really where we have ended up—with this superannuated fantasy posing as a slice of modern life? On TV, “Sex and the City” was never as insulting as “Desperate Housewives,” which strikes me as catastrophically retrograde, but, almost sixty years after “All About Eve,” which also featured four major female roles, there is a deep sadness in the sight of Carrie and friends defining themselves not as Bette Davis, Anne Baxter, Celeste Holm, and Thelma Ritter did—by their talents, their hats, and the swordplay of their wits—but purely by their ability to snare and keep a man. Believe me, ladies, we’re not worth it. It’s true that Samantha finally disposes of one paramour, but only with a view to landing another, and her parting shot is a beauty: “I love you, but I love me more.” I have a terrible feeling that “Sex and the City” expects us not to disapprove of that line, or even to laugh at it, but to exclaim in unison, “You go, girl.” I walked into the theatre hoping for a nice evening and came out as a hard-line Marxist, my head a whirl of closets, delusions, and blunt-clawed cattiness. All the film lacks is a subtitle: “The Lying, the Bitch, and the Wardrobe.”

http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/cinema/2008/06/09/080609crci_cinema_lane

Lane's prose.   

[FlameOfCallandor]

The movie didnt suck because of it's message or lack of one. It sucked on many more levels.

[Tristam]

The movie didnt suck because of it's message or lack of one. It sucked on many more levels.

I only posted the last paragraph. The rest of the review addresses a lot of stuff outside the message.

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

The hands match the face.

[BlueTsunami]

Its as if shes worked years in a coal mine or got touched by a wraith

[Eric P]

touched by a wraith

i'd watch that tv series

where god goes around being a dick to people to see if they still love him

god is a manipulative insecure brat

[DJ_Tet]

As a man I felt the whole theater turn on me about 40 min in.  That's when in the span of about 5 cinema minutes they had

spoiler (click to show/hide)

the one decent guy in the series, Steve, admit he cheated on Miranda.  And then Big stands up Carrie at her wedding with very little reasoning behind it.

[close]

After those turns, the theater was a very uncomfortable place for males.

Thumbs down.

[hyp]

sorry to hear that TA.  you should've skipped sex and the city and went straight to the porn. 

[FlameOfCallandor]

As a man I felt the whole theater turn on me about 40 min in.  That's when in the span of about 5 cinema minutes they had

spoiler (click to show/hide)

the one decent guy in the series, Steve, admit he cheated on Miranda.  And then Big stands up Carrie at her wedding with very little reasoning behind it.

[close]

After those turns, the theater was a very uncomfortable place for males.

Thumbs down.

I felt bad for Steve, they hadnt had sex in six months. What did miranda expect?

[DJ_Tet]

Steve is a good guy, but he still shouldn't have cheated.  Even her attitude doesn't excuse the situation.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Her pubes might, though 

[close]

[Tauntaun]

As a man I felt the whole theater turn on me about 40 min in.  That's when in the span of about 5 cinema minutes they had

spoiler (click to show/hide)

the one decent guy in the series, Steve, admit he cheated on Miranda.  And then Big stands up Carrie at her wedding with very little reasoning behind it.

[close]

After those turns, the theater was a very uncomfortable place for males.

Thumbs down.

I felt bad for Steve, they hadnt had sex in six months. What did miranda expect?

Steve is a good guy, but he still shouldn't have cheated.  Even her attitude doesn't excuse the situation.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Her pubes might, though 

[close]

Why are you guys talking about this? 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[DJ_Tet]

It's my penalty for getting to see Speed Racer last week.  Compromises must be made, and my gf thought someone would die and she would get spoiled, so we had to see it early.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

No one died

[close]

[demi]

It's my penalty for getting to see Speed Racer last week.  Compromises must be made, and my gf thought someone would die and she would get spoiled, so we had to see it early.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

No one died

[close]