My toilet is blocked

[The Sceneman]

this really, really sucks

Just poured two buckets of water down that bitch and it has only gotten more clogged 

theres a shit turd floating in the thing, mocking me

[Phoenix Dark]

Get a big towel, like a beach size towel. Twist it around, then stick it all the way into the toilet, right down the whole; obviously make sure you have a glove on. Keep your hand down there for a couple minutes, which will allow the towel to slowly get into that water hole. Then slowly jank the towel out and the problem will be fixed.

[Rman]

Ugh.  Plunger?

Edit: Wow 25000th post. Where did you find the time, PD?

[muckhole]

You must have a plunger somewhere? Right?

Otherwise, do the towel thing.

[CrystalGemini]

Really, PD...  

[The Sceneman]

yeah there is a plunger... thats kind of the last resort though. My good friend is a plumber and he may have an auger. I'll give him a call. I wish John Leguizamo could come over

[Ecrofirt]

Was the water cold or hot?

If you pour boiling water in the toilet, it unclogs it like 99% of the time.

I'm going to warn you now that it's going to be disgusting. You're basically going to make a shit soup sauna, but I know from experience that this is very likely to clear up the clog.

[The Sceneman]

hmmm. Ok I'll give that a try

[Ecrofirt]

hmmm. Ok I'll give that a try

When I did it, it took about 2 gallons of water to clear up the clog, but it definitely worked.

[The Sceneman]

beacause I dont want shit flying everywhere?

[Eel O'Brian]

what the hell have you been eating

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

Oh man....

[The Sceneman]

.... have you ever used a plunger? Just don't be super violent with it... Should have used it first before you put more fucking water in, too.

well the water is draining, just takes 5 minutes or so. Just did one jug boiling water, going to try another now... If that doesnt work... plunger time

[The Sceneman]

what the hell have you been eating

fruit, nuts and bread

[muckhole]

Wait, why the fuck is a plunger the last resort?

.... have you ever used a plunger? Just don't be super violent with it... Should have used it first before you put more fucking water in, too.

Listen to this man! You're not making tea!

[The Sceneman]

yeah Im just about to stick the plunger in now. Do you need a special plunger for toilets? The one I have is one of those typical looking ones

[Eel O'Brian]

what the hell have you been eating

fruit, nuts and bread

so you've basically been shitting out fruitcakes

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

Toilet plungers are going for 90 bucks at Home Depot.  Make sure to get the model number of your toilet before going over there otherwise they won't be able to help. 

Model number is the back.

[muckhole]

yeah Im just about to stick the plunger in now. Do you need a special plunger for toilets? The one I have is one of those typical looking ones

Nope. Just get decent coverage on the drain and start pumping. You don't have to do it fast repeatedly, either, which may be why you're getting splash damage.

[The Sceneman]

Toilet plungers are going for 90 bucks at Home Depot.  Make sure to get the model number of your toilet before going over there otherwise they won't be able to help. 

Model number is the back.

$90 US? whoa, probably cheaper to get a plumber lol

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

Toilet plungers are going for 90 bucks at Home Depot.  Make sure to get the model number of your toilet before going over there otherwise they won't be able to help. 

Model number is the back.

$90 US? whoa, probably cheaper to get a plumber lol

Nah, you're going to need one anyway.

If you can't find the model number, just take a picture of the toilet and show it to the guys that work there.  They'll help you out.

[crimsondynamics]

? Isn't a plunger... a... plunger?

What's this thing about getting a 90$ plunger that matches your toilet?

Last I checked, they are universal. If you have a toilet, you just go and buy... a... plunger!

[lordmaji]

Get a big towel, like a beach size towel. Twist it around, then stick it all the way into the toilet, right down the whole; obviously make sure you have a glove on. Keep your hand down there for a couple minutes, which will allow the towel to slowly get into that water hole. Then slowly jank the towel out and the problem will be fixed.

thats intense man.

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

? Isn't a plunger... a... plunger?

What's this thing about getting a 90$ plunger that matches your toilet?

Last I checked, they are universal. If you have a toilet, you just go and buy... a... plunger!

A regular plunger will ruin your toilet for good.  You need a Toilet Plunger.


PD, just take a photo of your toilet to Home Depot.  Make sure you get a good shot of the bowl.  You may want to get a pic of the blockage too.

The people at Home Depot are there to help.

[crimsondynamics]

Man, you're getting plunger to unclog a toilet. This is one of the most straightforward things to do. You're not upgrading weapons in an RTS.

Collateral damage 

I don't know, but where I live (and this is the first world we're talking about, not some third-world backwater) you can buy only one type of plunger for your toilet, and I've never heard anyone complain ever about ruining their toilets because they used the wrong plunger!

I guess toilet plungers are more advanced than I could ever imagine...

[The Sceneman]

fuck Im obviously not doing anyhitng right, I cant get a good suction with the plunger... the thing keeps turning inside out and shit. maybe my technique sucks. Might have to watch a youtube video lol

[muckhole]

fuck Im obviously not doing anyhitng right, I cant get a good suction with the plunger... the thing keeps turning inside out and shit. maybe my technique sucks. Might have to watch a youtube video lol

Just take it slow, until it's time to thrust! Be forcefull!

[Eel O'Brian]

don't waste your money on those sonic plungers, they're a total gimmick

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

I never realized how many fucking toilet plunging videos there are on YouTube.  Learn something new everyday.

[Bildi]

You could get a garden hose and shove it down there.  Then turn it on full bore for a brief moment, then off, then on, then off.  Depending on how it's draining you can have it running while you prod with it.

I don't know how plumbing works where you live, but if the blockage is in the pipes outside the house you may be able to gain access from a drain or pipe plug outside.

When I had earthenware pipes I had to unblock it a few times like this because they were breaking up underground.

[Eric P]

this thread is amazing

[Brehvolution]

Reach your hand down in that shit, you can wash it afterward. As far as the plunger goes, if it is going inside out, you are doing it wrong. Place the outside of the cup around the whole, depress a couple of times. You are trying to cause some suction with the plunger, not force that shit down.

[Bildi]

If it's blocked within reach, I agree with Zero Hero - just get your hand down there.

Try to enjoy it.

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

Yeah, I agree.  Put your hand in the toilet and remove the clog manually. 

I also suggest taking a picture of the blockage and showing it to the people at Home Depot.

[muckhole]

Yeah, I agree.  Put your hand in the toilet and remove the clog manually. 

I also suggest taking a picture of the blockage and showing it to the people at Home Depot.

  "Do you guys have something to fix THIS?"

[Phoenix Dark]

I gave you the solution. A plunger only works when there's perhaps half a feces in the bowl. The towel method works every fucking time no matter what. Just get a glove dude. Do you have a rain coat? It's not like you're going to get splashed but it sounds like you need the mental comfort

[Bildi]

Yeah, I agree.  Put your hand in the toilet and remove the clog manually. 

I also suggest taking a picture of the blockage and showing it to the people at Home Depot.

Dude, do you work at Home Depot or something?

[duckman2000]

How in the hell does someone not know how to use a plunger?

[Mupepe]

Hitler is making this thread incredible.

Do what I used to do...

Ready the plunger over the hole and flush the toilet (or if you want to be really careful, fill the toilet with water).  And then pump slowly but firmly about 3 times and move it away.  the extra pressure from the water and you plunging should make it go.  I've never had to do anything more than that.  Flushing works better because of all the force being added at once.  I used to clog a lot of toilets.  But I haven't clogged one in like ...7 years?  You can do it!

[Brehvolution]

Yeah, I agree.  Put your hand in the toilet and remove the clog manually. 

I also suggest taking a picture of the blockage and showing it to the people at Home Depot.

  "Do you guys have something to fix THIS?"

[muckhole]

Yeah, I agree.  Put your hand in the toilet and remove the clog manually. 

I also suggest taking a picture of the blockage and showing it to the people at Home Depot.

  "Do you guys have something to fix THIS?"

(Image removed from quote.)

Also  at two pages for Scenesters poo. This thread is riveting!

[tiesto]

Here's some good advice... I usually just go all-out with the plunger, I clog my toilet fairly frequently b/c I take big shits.

http://www.wikihow.com/Unclog-a-Toilet

[Robo]

Don't listen to Eel -- get the sonic plunger.  It does the work all on its own.  Throw it in the bowl, twist the handle and the turds shake loose in no time.

[demi]

Here's some good advice... I usually just go all-out with the plunger, I clog my toilet fairly frequently b/c I take big shits.

http://www.wikihow.com/Unclog-a-Toilet

I guess it really is part of being Italian... I thought it was just me

[The Sceneman]

okay the plot has thickened....

I went out for a bit to run some errands, got back and plunged the thing some more, tried flushing to see if the situation has imroved. The bowl filled up AND now theres toilet water leaking out where the pipe connects to the wall... not good! At least now at I can get a plumber around at the landlords expense

[The Sceneman]

well this thread is way more epic than I was anticipating, I made it becuase I was pissed off and expected no replies lol.

To make matters worse the PS3 I was gonna borrow has bailed on me, and I had to cancel my MGS4 pre-order! Today probably cant get any worse

[Eel O'Brian]

Don't listen to Eel -- get the sonic plunger.  It does the work all on its own.  Throw it in the bowl, twist the handle and the turds shake loose in no time.

I was disappointed with the results.  Perhaps my turds were too hard for it to handle.  Then when I tried to take it back for a refund the dude at Bed, Bath, and Beyond wouldn't take it because I'd used it.  I pointed out to him that there was no way I could have known the sonic plunger wouldn't work unless I, you know, used it in a toilet, but here it is sitting in my utility closet, a $125 reminder never to buy any of that "as seen on tv" crap ever again.

[Brehvolution]

To make matters worse the PS3 I was gonna borrow has bailed on me, and I had to cancel my MGS4 pre-order!

Who's were you going to borrow?I know when fable 2 drops, I will be buying a 360. you should be more prepared.

[muckhole]

"the plop has thickened"

Fixed hur hur

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'm such a fucking child

[close]

[Bildi]

Don't use a sonic plunger if your cistern is ceramic.  It can lead to cracks - even if you don't see them at first it can happen just under the enamel and sit for a long time before leaking.

If your cistern is plastic, go for it.

[bagofeyes]

You need a bilateral plunger. Don't use the sonic type.

[T234]

Jesus christ.
I know what I'm doing for a job. Imma move to kiwibux land and be a plumber.

It seems to be in demand.

[brawndolicious]

I don't know what kind of funky shit you did (lolpun) to make this get to two pages but I suggest putting the plunger, slowly pushing the plunger down to get as much air as you can out of it, and then letting it just pull revert to it's normal shape by sucking in the toilet water.  That suctioning is what unclogs it.  Just pushing on it is a bad idea.

[max_cool]

I have a toilet snake, let me put it in your hole. 

[crimsondynamics]

You know that hole's filled to the brim with turds...

[lordmaji]

"the plop has thickened"

Fixed hur hur

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'm such a fucking child

[close]

  plop. 

[Tauntaun]

Holy crap dude, why didn't you use the plunger in the first place? 

[muckhole]

Yes, the sun has come up here, so I think we need an update from the OP. Sooner or later he's going to have to poop again.

[Ganhyun]

I must say, this thread is amazing.

But let us know what happens will ya? Some of us are nearly shitting bricks wanting to know.

[The Sceneman]

i just shat in a bag

apparently a plumber is coming today