-Standing in line, waiting to order my food.
-Standing behind a middle aged woman.
-Guy in front of both of us orders pasta
-Woman behind counter puts pasta in container, more than usual.
-Woman ahead of me yells out "THAT'S A LOT OF PASTA!" and starts cackling a a donkey with a ticklish taint.
-Woman turns around and looks at me, to see if I was laughing to, to assure herself that she's a comedic genius, and not just some fat cow that people want to abandon in the forest.
-I gave her the plain face.
Why? WHY WOULD YOU LOOK AROUND AT STRANGERS TO SEE IF THEY'RE LAUGHING TOO.
They do it with kids too.
Holy fuck.
When I managed a subway, i'd get the housemoms come in with their kids, and they would ask the fucking kid what they want on their shitty sandwich.
"DO YOU WANT PICKLES?"
"uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, no."
"DO YOU WANT LETTUCE?"
"uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, yes."
Repeat for each possible ingredient. 45 minutes later, I would have the sandwich complete.
Then, as if to use their child as some tool of performing art, they give the money to the kid to give to me. The stupid kid who doesn't have any hand-eye co-ordination because his mom did coke while she was preggo with him, drops the change fucking everywhere and knocks my tip jar over in the process.
The mom starts to laugh, like what the kid did was cute.
No, its fucking annoying. And if this were tribal times, I'd skin you both.
God dammit.
