ars evilboreum: let's summon a demon to rape phoenixdark

[Van Cruncheon]

http://www.esotericarchives.com/solomon/goetia.htm

which one should we pick? this is the selection provided by weyer's ars goetia, one of five books of the lesser key of solomon, also known as the lemegeton. me, i like this little unholy duder:

The 47th spirit is called Vual. he is a great & mighty strong duke, he appeareth in ye forme of a mighty dromedary at first, but after a while he putteth on humane shape, and speaketh in ye Egyptian Tongue, but not perfectly; his office is to procure ye love of women, and to tell Things past, present and to come, and also to procure friendship betweene friends & foes, he was of the order of Potentates; he governeth 37 Legions of spirits; his seal is Thus to be made and worne as a Lamin before you &c.

i need to go dig up some wax and chalk. last time i did this, my daughter ate the cat and puked up maggots for days, and i had to sleep on the couch. sucked.

[Crushed]

The 56 spirit is called Gemory, he is a strong and powerfull duke appearing in The forme of a Beautifull woman, wth a Dutches [Duchess] Crownett Tyed about her middle, ridding on a great Camell, his office is to tell of all Things past present & to come, and of Treasure hidden and wt it layeth in, & procureth ye love of women, both young & old, he governeth 26 Legions of spirits, his seal is Thus made, & worne as a Lamin before ye Exorcist in [the] Time of working.

(Image removed from quote.)

ooooh this one

pd likes powerfull dukes appearing in the formes of beautifull wymans

[Van Cruncheon]

mmm yes, ye trannye surprisfe -- Treasure hidden and wt it layeth in, indeede

[Grecco]

Demons have some sort of elaborate monarchy?

[Crushed]

Demons have some sort of elaborate monarchy?

Duh. And their Parliament is at Pandemonium.

[TVC15]

I want PD to get raped to some Messiaen.

[youtube=425,350]Tv67YkOWJNA[/youtube]

[Narag]

Just how much masturbation magic is going to be needed to summon something like this?

[TVC15]

Or some Messiaen that uses Ondes Martenots, so you get the Johnny Greenwood effect in there:

[youtube=425,350]zg9Ic4Pu-KA[/youtube]

[Van Cruncheon]

Just how much masturbation magic is going to be needed to summon something like this?

using the empirical unit of masturbatory evergy, the "tauntaun", it will take roughly 20tt units to summon gemory, y lord of trannye surprifses. basically, we need about 40-50 evilboreans to masturbate in concert.

[Eric P]

Just how much masturbation magic is going to be needed to summon something like this?

more than it took to save The Invisibles

[Crushed]

basically, we need about 40-50 evilboreans to masturbate in concert.

yeah this is pretty homo count me out

[Narag]

basically, we need about 40-50 evilboreans to masturbate in concert.

yeah this is pretty homo count me out

Well if he's out I have nothing to get off to so this whole plan is collapsing.

[Crushed]

can't we just sacrifice some chicken or something

heck, just get some fried chicken and pretend that we sacrificed it, i bet stupid demons can't tell the difference



let's get some popeyes

[Eric P]

can't we just sacrifice some chicken or something

heck, just get some fried chicken and pretend that we sacrificed it, i bet stupid demons can't tell the difference



let's get some popeyes

you are in a way sacrificing a chicken

i mean...you're choking it, right?

[Human Snorenado]

We could always convince Yog Shothoth to do it, the lloigor has been running around free since 9/11 when the diversionary WTC attacks allowed some enterprising occultists to free the beast from it's prison in the center of the Pentagon.

[Phoenix Dark]

i'm gettin hella jealous vibes from ya'll

[Tauntaun]

Just how much masturbation magic is going to be needed to summon something like this?

using the empirical unit of masturbatory evergy, the "tauntaun", it will take roughly 20tt units to summon gemory, y lord of trannye surprifses. basically, we need about 40-50 evilboreans to masturbate in concert.

 

Also if this demon is summoned you know I shall bring this upon you all:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ordos Hereticus...The Inquisition.

[close]

[Howard Alan Treesong]

We could always convince Yog Shothoth to do it, the lloigor has been running around free since 9/11 when the diversionary WTC attacks allowed some enterprising occultists to free the beast from it's prison in the center of the Pentagon.

the part in Doom Patrol where Flex Mentallo en-circles the Pentagon through the powers of Muscle Mystery is one of the best things Morrison has ever written