Author Topic: children: DISTURBING. (Read 1578 times)

Van Cruncheon · « **on:** June 22, 2008, 08:39:35 PM »

my nearly four-year-old daughter not two minutes ago: "sushi is GROSS. i am going to EAT THE SKIN OFF DADDY."

no joke. i am gonna meet a horrible fate.

CurseoftheGods · « **Reply #1 on:** June 22, 2008, 08:40:08 PM »

Awesome.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #2 on:** June 22, 2008, 08:41:55 PM »

Olivia Wilde Homo · « **Reply #3 on:** June 22, 2008, 08:43:17 PM »

What would be worse: her growing up and wanting to eat your skin or her growing up being a die hard Nintendo fan.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #4 on:** June 22, 2008, 08:44:08 PM »

i would rather her indulge in cannibalism than become a filthy reprobate ninthing. at least cannibalism is an ambition in this culture!

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #5 on:** June 22, 2008, 08:44:32 PM »

Children are parasites that live inside the bodies of you or your loved ones, until such time as they hatch and crawl out. Then, slowly but surely, they replace you.

Olivia Wilde Homo · « **Reply #6 on:** June 22, 2008, 08:45:04 PM »

But waggle is the future.

Crushed · « **Reply #7 on:** June 22, 2008, 08:45:49 PM »

Tell her that eating raw fish is the only way to gain their power and keep the Pelagic Amphibious Forces from rising from the oceans and eating HER skin.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #8 on:** June 22, 2008, 08:45:57 PM »

Quote from: The Experiment on June 22, 2008, 08:45:04 PM

But waggle is the future.

take the road less traveled, i say!

Mupepe · « **Reply #9 on:** June 22, 2008, 08:47:11 PM »

when my daughter was really little, she used to insist on being in my arms while i cooked so she could watch. when she'd ask what I was doing or when she looked confused, I told her I was getting it ready for something special and then I'd ask if I could cook her. And when she'd show me new stuff like toys, I'd ask her "can i eat it?"

now i have her doing that same stuff. she's so awesome

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #10 on:** June 22, 2008, 08:50:27 PM »

i threatened to eat her nose once, which she thought was just hilariously awesome. however, eating my skin off me is a very disturbing twist! i did catch her going through my copies of the hellsing manga the other day, and i'm hoping she didn't pick up any pointers. (my wife made me box them all up after that. :'()

Mupepe · « **Reply #11 on:** June 22, 2008, 08:51:05 PM »

she sounds awesome

Vizzys · « **Reply #12 on:** June 22, 2008, 09:19:53 PM »

hellsing is awesome

demi · « **Reply #13 on:** June 22, 2008, 09:26:58 PM »

daddy is plump and full of juice too

Raban · « **Reply #14 on:** June 22, 2008, 09:30:16 PM »

This whole thread is fucking awesome.

Enl · « **Reply #15 on:** June 22, 2008, 09:32:00 PM »

mmm...flesh...

Beezy · « **Reply #16 on:** June 22, 2008, 09:35:07 PM »

muckhole · « **Reply #17 on:** June 22, 2008, 09:35:46 PM »

xnikki118x · « **Reply #18 on:** June 23, 2008, 12:00:49 AM »

Quote from: Mupepe on June 22, 2008, 08:47:11 PM

when my daughter was really little, she used to insist on being in my arms while i cooked so she could watch. when she'd ask what I was doing or when she looked confused, I told her I was getting it ready for something special and then I'd ask if I could cook her. And when she'd show me new stuff like toys, I'd ask her "can i eat it?"

now i have her doing that same stuff. she's so awesome

Tauntaun · « **Reply #19 on:** June 23, 2008, 11:42:45 AM »

Kids.

FlameOfCallandor · « **Reply #20 on:** June 23, 2008, 11:45:51 AM »

She's gonna make sushi out of your skin. mmmmm

Tauntaun · « **Reply #21 on:** June 23, 2008, 02:12:31 PM »

Quote from: Kosma on June 23, 2008, 02:03:28 PM

I really need a pic of your daughter to go with what she said.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #22 on:** June 23, 2008, 02:14:55 PM »

Quote from: Kosma on June 23, 2008, 02:13:49 PM

omg where did you get my photo tauntaun?

From the intarwebs, you're pretty famous.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #23 on:** June 23, 2008, 02:27:26 PM »

Quote from: Kosma on June 23, 2008, 02:18:04 PM

Wish my fame would bring me some cash son. Yogi Bear made it big time. So did Winny the Pooh. So why does society want to keep me down?

You need to cash in on those internet dollars.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #24 on:** June 23, 2008, 03:29:21 PM »

this all started when i threatened to eat her nose during a bedtime story. she immediately turned it on me and said NO I WILL EAT DADDY'S NOSE! and then attempted just that. now she has threatened all kinds of cannibalism, but the EATING THE SKIN OFF DADDY demand is a new one. i also appreciated the DADDY GAVE ME BEER, I WANT MORE BEER when my wife came back from grocery shopping, when in fact i had just scooted her away from trying to cop my lager not five minutes previous

Reb · « **Reply #25 on:** June 23, 2008, 03:41:46 PM »

Quote from: Professor Prole on June 23, 2008, 03:29:21 PM

DADDY GAVE ME BEER, I WANT MORE BEER

Excellent.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #26 on:** June 23, 2008, 03:44:43 PM »

Saying "EATING THE SKIN OFF DADDY" shows that shes improvising and that she actually has preference when it comes to what part of the human she'll consume. Refined cannibalism taste!

Tauntaun · « **Reply #27 on:** June 23, 2008, 03:55:23 PM »

Quote from: Professor Prole on June 23, 2008, 03:29:21 PM

this all started when i threatened to eat her nose during a bedtime story. she immediately turned it on me and said NO I WILL EAT DADDY'S NOSE! and then attempted just that. now she has threatened all kinds of cannibalism, but the EATING THE SKIN OFF DADDY demand is a new one. i also appreciated the DADDY GAVE ME BEER, I WANT MORE BEER when my wife came back from grocery shopping, when in fact i had just scooted her away from trying to cop my lager not five minutes previous

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #28 on:** June 23, 2008, 04:00:23 PM »

perhaps the purchase of a kitten will save you from this wildling princess

muckhole · « **Reply #29 on:** June 23, 2008, 04:02:38 PM »

Quote from: Amber Lambchops on June 23, 2008, 04:00:23 PM

perhaps the purchase of a kitten will save you from this wildling princess

I think she'll merely recruit kitty to her cause. Then his days will truly be numbered.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #30 on:** June 23, 2008, 04:10:40 PM »

Quote from: Amber Lambchops on June 23, 2008, 04:00:23 PM

perhaps the purchase of a kitten will save you from this wildling princess

Drinky really should rename his daughter Daenerys but that would mean that she would get with a 6'7 Arabic dude when shes 14

Tieno · « **Reply #31 on:** June 23, 2008, 04:13:28 PM »

I'd also like pics so I can picture the scenes Prole is describing more vividly. It would greatly enhance and complement the experience of reading this thread.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #32 on:** June 23, 2008, 04:16:58 PM »

Quote from: BlueTsunami on June 23, 2008, 04:10:40 PM

Quote from: Amber Lambchops on June 23, 2008, 04:00:23 PM
perhaps the purchase of a kitten will save you from this wildling princess

Drinky really should rename his daughter Daenerys but that would mean that she would get with a 6'7 Arabic dude when shes 14

he only does it from behind

spoiler (click to show/hide)

unless he picks you up and thrusts 3 times

[close]

Fragamemnon · « **Reply #33 on:** June 23, 2008, 04:26:16 PM »

Quote

DADDY GAVE ME BEER, I WANT MORE BEER

Now that is a Kodak Moment for the internet age.

xnikki118x · « **Reply #34 on:** June 23, 2008, 05:04:30 PM »

Quote from: Fragamemnon on June 23, 2008, 04:26:16 PM

Quote
DADDY GAVE ME BEER, I WANT MORE BEER

Now that is a Kodak Moment for the internet age.

For sure!

My brother used to be like "MOM/DAD NIKKI HIT ME!" when I'd be on the other side of the room. The day he got caught and got the snot spanked out of him by my dad was so awesome.

I'm not sure which I like more, the "eating the skin off daddy" or "I want more beer."

Funny kid story that happened the parent of a friend of a friend, something like that. The girl is like 5 or 6 and on a car trip with her parents. They gave her a coloring book and crayons to occupy herself, so she writes "HELP I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED" on a sheet and holds it against the window. State Troopers pull the car over, girl gets in big trouble, major lulz.

Mandark · « **Reply #35 on:** June 23, 2008, 05:09:32 PM »

Now I'm imagining Drinky's daughter as a surly drunk.

"Who do you have to share your Legos with around here to get a goddam drink?" she says after a hard day at the mill.

Crushed · « **Reply #36 on:** June 23, 2008, 05:11:37 PM »

Tell her to reach inside a dump truck if she wants more beer.

News:

Author Topic: children: DISTURBING. (Read 1578 times)