Forget gay marraige

[Eric P]

Saudi Marriage Officiant: It Is Permitted to Marry a Girl Aged One Year, If Sex is Postponed; The Prophet Muhammad, Whose Model We Follow, Married 'Aisha When She Was Six and Had Sex with Her When She Was Nine 

when can we do this?

"There Is No Minimal Age For Entering Marriage... The Prophet Muhammad is the Model We Follow"

Dr. Ahmad Al-Mu'bi: "Marriage is actually two things: First we are talking about the marriage contract itself. This is one thing, while consummating the marriage – having sex with the wife for the first time – is another thing.

"There is no minimal age for entering marriage. You can have a marriage contract even with a one-year-old girl, not to mention a girl of nine, seven, or eight. This is merely a contract [indicating] consent. The guardian in such a case must be the father, because the father's opinion is obligatory. Thus, the girl becomes a wife...

"But is the girl ready for sex or not? What is the appropriate age for having sex for the first time? This varies according to environment and traditions. In Yemen, girls are married off at nine, ten, 11, eight, or 13, while in other countries, they are married off at 16. Some countries have legislated laws forbidding having sex before the girl is 18.
 
[...]
 
"The Prophet Muhammad is the model we follow. He took 'Aisha to be his wife when she was six, but he had sex with her only when she was nine."
 
Interviewer: "When she was six..."
 
   
"If The Guardian is The Father, And He Marries His Daughter Off To a Man of Appropriate Standing, The Marriage is Obviously Valid"

Dr. Ahmad Al-Mu'bi: "He married her [when she was] age six, and he consummated the marriage, by having sex with her for the first time, when she was nine. We consider the Prophet Muhammad to be our model."
 
Interviewer: "My question to you is whether the marriage of a 12-year-old boy to an 11-year-old girl is a logical marriage permitted by Islamic law."
 
Dr. Ahmad Al-Mu'bi: "If the guardian is the father... There are two different types of guardianship. If the guardian is the father, and he marries his daughter off to a man of appropriate standing, the marriage is obviously valid.
 
[...]
 
"People find themselves in all kinds of circumstances. Take, for example, a man who has two, three, or four daughters. He does not have any wives, but he needs to go on a trip. Isn't it better to marry his daughter to a man who will protect and sustain her, and when she reaches the proper age, he will have sex with her? Who says all men are ferocious wolves?"

http://www.memritv.org/clip/en/1798.htm

old enough to breathe, old enough for me

[Mandark]

Ayatollah Sistani (the big deal moderate-ish Shia cleric in Iraq) used to have a site where he answered people's questions about Muslim law and it had an English section.

Oral sex was alright as long as people didn't come in their partner's mouth.  However, chess is right out.

[TVC15]

Mothers lock up the maternity ward, Himumu is coming to town.

[Tauntaun]

My wife is so old, I need me a 1 year old.  RIPE SON...RIPE! 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

smh

[close]

[muckhole]

Oral sex was alright as long as people didn't come in their partner's mouth.  However, chess is right out.

  That shouldn't have made me laugh as much as it did.

"Game of chess?"

'I can't. Forbidden, remember?'

"*Sigh*...well, i guess I'll just take another blowjob, then."

[AdmiralViscen]

[Phoenix Dark]

what the fuck? chess? really?

[Phoenix Dark]

pretty much