I will tell you what your parents never could.

[ToxicAdam]

Raising kids is the worst experience in the world.

Something that isn't uttered in polite company, something a parent can never say aloud. But the truth is that children sap your vitality, your energy and ultimately your identity.

You will never love anything more than you love your child. More than you love a spouse, more than you love even yourself (which isn't hard to fathom because most people are self-loathing.). Which is what makes parenting most painful of all. All of their shortcomings, failings and pain that a child experiences will hit you ten-fold. The constant balance of giving your child enough room to grow, but protecting them is a constant battle you never feel you get right. Lots of regret.

Maybe that's why parents don't tell us this. They want us to suffer and torture ourselves in the same way they had to endure years past. A passive-aggressive revenge plot to make us appreciate them. Or maybe they just forget.

So, I'm giving child-rearing a thumbs down. Later in life, when you come to the same realization .. remember who told you first.

[DJ_Tet]

Solid, will read again.

[Positive Touch]

time for a murder-suicide pact

[Himu]

adam, trouble at home?

[duckman2000]

Meh, it's not so bad. It's certainly draining, and everything becomes about the kid, but it's alright. Maybe if I hadn't traveled and experienced so much before I had a kid, I'd feel worse about it.

[Reb]

Yeah, my parents freaked out when I told them how fucked up I am.
I didn't blame them though.

[Mupepe]

i'm just going to move to alaska

[FlameOfCallandor]

IS it ever worth it when they succeed?

[ToxicAdam]

I'm just recommending a vasectomy now, before you become a prisoner to a woman's biological clock.

adam, trouble at home?

No way.

[Phoenix Dark]

my mom always says "i can't wait until you give me a snotty nosed grandkid so i can say HAHA YOUR TURN" 

i don't like kids and don't see myself as the marrying type. hopefully i'll be as free as TVC, roaming the earth fuckin and leavin em

[Reb]

How old are you, PD?

[Phoenix Dark]

21

[duckman2000]

I was 30 when my kid was born. I can't relate to anyone who had a kid when they were in their early 20s, especially if they never had a chance to travel, or "see the world."

[cool breeze]

I still have 10 years before I ever plan on having a kid, or even plan on getting married.  As far as I can tell, kids are apparently great between the times they are a baby and the time they are a teenager.  The time between that they are cool.  Then it gets fucked up until they become around 30 to do all this stuff on their own.

[Eric P]

friends who become parents usually cease to become friends usually because i have to be friends with their kid too and the parents themselves turn into these gigantic fucking douches.

"my kid did this"

"my kid did that"

good lord, i know i sound like a selfish prat for saying that, but it's nothing compared to what has happened to the people I've seen become parents

THEY HAVE MADE FUCKING MYSPACE PAGES FOR THEIR KIDS AND THEY MOVED ALL THEIR KIDS TO THE TOP EIGHT AND MAKE POSTS AS THOUGH THEY WERE THE KID

WHAT SORT OF IDENTITY SUBLIMATING CRAZY ALIEN PARASITE BULLSHIT IS THAT?

[Van Cruncheon]

i try to never talk about my kid unless she did something odd or disturbing

and i was on the "child-rearing is soul-crushing" bandwagon before you, ta! i have a bunch of gaf posts griping about it.

[duckman2000]

friends who become parents usually cease to become friends usually because i have to be friends with their kid too and the parents themselves turn into these gigantic fucking douches.

"my kid did this"

"my kid did that"

good lord, i know i sound like a selfish prat for saying that, but it's nothing compared to what has happened to the people I've seen become parents

THEY HAVE MADE FUCKING MYSPACE PAGES FOR THEIR KIDS AND THEY MOVED ALL THEIR KIDS TO THE TOP EIGHT AND MAKE POSTS AS THOUGH THEY WERE THE KID

WHAT SORT OF IDENTITY SUBLIMATING CRAZY ALIEN PARASITE BULLSHIT IS THAT?

I'm sort of trying to make the kid be more like me, as opposed to the other way around. But yes, it becomes sickening when you hang out with other parents, and people talk about kids. Their kids, my kid, other kids, kids. Kid shows, kid toys, kid everything. Blargh. I think to many people, kids are the only important things to have ever happened to them. And that's sort of sad.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

are these parents Japanese

[The Fake Shemp]

Kids are like old people's versions of videogames or Magic cards.  We are fortunate to live in a generation that has embraced the interactive medium, so we don't have to fill such a void in our life.  It will be naturally filled with DIABLO III.

DIABLO III > CHILDREN

[Eric P]

are these parents Japanese

no, sadly.  they are white middle class suburbanites who all of a sudden since they crapped out kids have had their politics radically shift to fascism/authoritianism.

[Tieno]

friends who become parents usually cease to become friends usually because i have to be friends with their kid too and the parents themselves turn into these gigantic fucking douches.

"my kid did this"

"my kid did that"

good lord, i know i sound like a selfish prat for saying that, but it's nothing compared to what has happened to the people I've seen become parents

THEY HAVE MADE FUCKING MYSPACE PAGES FOR THEIR KIDS AND THEY MOVED ALL THEIR KIDS TO THE TOP EIGHT AND MAKE POSTS AS THOUGH THEY WERE THE KID

WHAT SORT OF IDENTITY SUBLIMATING CRAZY ALIEN PARASITE BULLSHIT IS THAT?

I'm sort of trying to make the kid be more like me, as opposed to the other way around. But yes, it becomes sickening when you hang out with other parents, and people talk about kids. Their kids, my kid, other kids, kids. Kid shows, kid toys, kid everything. Blargh. I think to many people, kids are the only important things to have ever happened to them. And that's sort of sad.

I often lol whenever I see (usually) a woman asked the question "what are your hobbies?" and she answers "taking care of my kids" or a variation of that.

[lordmaji]

I'm a parent of 3 and it does make sense Adam. Good read. 

Also EricP i agree, I hate the whole fucking "My kid did this" and someones responds "Oh yeah, mine does that too" It's like a back and forth thing, it's fucking annoying. My wife does it a lot, I've caught myself in that trap a few times and quickly remove myself from the conversation, it's fucking annoying.

[Brehvolution]

LOL at the videogames > children. When you kids grow up and have kids, it changes you for the better. Unless you are too selfish to not want to have the "burden" of taking care of anyone but your sorry ass self. You shouldn't be allowed to fuck if you don't think you could handle a kid.  But you won't know the feeling until you hear those words, "I'm pregnant".

[duckman2000]

I played Crackdown together with my kid yesterday. She isn't old enough to "get" how to play video games yet, but she, and I, had a lot of fun with her directing where I should be jumping next.

[lordmaji]

I played Crackdown together with my kid yesterday. She isn't old enough to "get" how to play video games yet, but she, and I, had a lot of fun with her directing where I should be jumping next.

I hooked my son up w/ Diablo II Sunday on the brats comp in the living room. It's awesome hearing Diablo music playing 24/7 right now

SEE ITS A TRAP! smfh

[Brehvolution]

I played Crackdown together with my kid yesterday. She isn't old enough to "get" how to play video games yet, but she, and I, had a lot of fun with her directing where I should be jumping next.

Just wait til LBP comes out. I can't wait to play that with my kids.

[The Fake Shemp]

You shouldn't be allowed to fuck if you don't think you could handle a kid.

Why?  You can just use rubbers and birth control.

[duckman2000]

I played Crackdown together with my kid yesterday. She isn't old enough to "get" how to play video games yet, but she, and I, had a lot of fun with her directing where I should be jumping next.

Just wait til LBP comes out. I can't wait to play that with my kids.

Hells yes. The whole concept of being able to import her toys into a game that we created, that's just awesome. I have never once bought into this as a mainstream success, but I personally can't wait for the game.

[Human Snorenado]

I have long maintained that children are filthy, unnatural creatures.  I could never see myself being a parent, much less a good one because at heart I am a really, really selfish creature.  I don't WANT to think about other people's needs before my own, or even put them on an even footing with my own.  This is also why all of my relationships have failed.  I'm probably a sociopath as well, but at least I know it and have taken the necessary steps of removing myself from most interactions with society at large.  It works to everyone's benefit, imo.

But yes, kids.  They are the second worst STD you can get.  Just one letter off from the first worst, too- AIDS will kill you, but KIDS will take away at least 20 years of your life and make you forget who you are.  Blecch.

[Brehvolution]

You shouldn't be allowed to fuck if you don't think you could handle a kid.

Why?  You can just use rubbers and birth control.

I apologize and retract that statement.

[Phoenix Dark]

I have long maintained that children are filthy, unnatural creatures.  I could never see myself being a parent, much less a good one because at heart I am a really, really selfish creature.  I don't WANT to think about other people's needs before my own, or even put them on an even footing with my own.  This is also why all of my relationships have failed.  I'm probably a sociopath as well, but at least I know it and have taken the necessary steps of removing myself from most interactions with society at large.  It works to everyone's benefit, imo.

But yes, kids.  They are the second worst STD you can get. Just one letter off from the first worst, too- AIDS will kill you, but KIDS will take away at least 20 years of your life and make you forget who you are.  Blecch.

I agree. I'm a nice person, but I'm also a rather selfish person in the sense that I prefer my own company, shun social events, etc. I'm not the marrying/dad type until proven otherwise. I'd much rather be that Awesome Uncle that all my nephews love. Like my uncle who let me watch R rated movies and read Bond and Vietnam novels, always telling me the exact pages that I could find the sex scenes

[Tauntaun]

But yes, kids.  They are the second worst STD you can get.  Just one letter off from the first worst, too- AIDS will kill you, but KIDS will take away at least 20 years of your life and make you forget who you are.  Blecch.

[duckman2000]

But yes, kids.  They are the second worst STD you can get.  Just one letter off from the first worst, too- AIDS will kill you, but KIDS will take away at least 20 years of your life and make you forget who you are.  Blecch.

If you let it happen, I guess.

My pet peeve right now, other than the baby einstein/leapfrog scam market, is the autism hysteria. All the parents around me are interpreting any "issue" with their kid as being indicative of autism. A slight speech impediment in a 3 year old? Must be autism, damn those vaccines! The kid being very good at one thing but not quite as developed in other ways? Why, I smell autism! So instead of nurturing and inspiring the kid in regards to that one thing that the kid really, really likes to do, and is already quite good at, be it counting or painting or climbing, these parents suppress this and instead focus on these other things in hopes that the kid will become more level.

Idiots.

[Human Snorenado]

I have long maintained that children are filthy, unnatural creatures.  I could never see myself being a parent, much less a good one because at heart I am a really, really selfish creature.  I don't WANT to think about other people's needs before my own, or even put them on an even footing with my own.  This is also why all of my relationships have failed.  I'm probably a sociopath as well, but at least I know it and have taken the necessary steps of removing myself from most interactions with society at large.  It works to everyone's benefit, imo.

But yes, kids.  They are the second worst STD you can get. Just one letter off from the first worst, too- AIDS will kill you, but KIDS will take away at least 20 years of your life and make you forget who you are.  Blecch.

I agree. I'm a nice person, but I'm also a rather selfish person in the sense that I prefer my own company, shun social events, etc. I'm not the marrying/dad type until proven otherwise. I'd much rather be that Awesome Uncle that all my nephews love. Like my uncle who let me watch R rated movies and read Bond and Vietnam novels, always telling me the exact pages that I could find the sex scenes

Meh, I can't even be an awesome uncle because my nephew is autistic and terrible.  That's another fear- what if I got a shitty child?  You can't take them back for another one.  I mean, my nephew can't handle it if he's watching the tv and someone else talks in the same room- he starts screaming and crying.  He also chews his fingers, they made him stop and now he chews his toes.  I understand that he's got a neurological disorder and everything, but fuck if I want to deal with that as my child for the rest of my life.  I'm totally in the camp where I'm getting a vasectomy if I ever get into another relationship again, because you just can't trust women- even if they say they don't want a little hellion running around, most DO and don't mind using your sperm to do it with either.  The very thought of being a parent is making me want to break out into hives here.  *shiver*

[Human Snorenado]

friends who become parents usually cease to become friends usually because i have to be friends with their kid too and the parents themselves turn into these gigantic fucking douches.

"my kid did this"

"my kid did that"

good lord, i know i sound like a selfish prat for saying that, but it's nothing compared to what has happened to the people I've seen become parents

THEY HAVE MADE FUCKING MYSPACE PAGES FOR THEIR KIDS AND THEY MOVED ALL THEIR KIDS TO THE TOP EIGHT AND MAKE POSTS AS THOUGH THEY WERE THE KID

WHAT SORT OF IDENTITY SUBLIMATING CRAZY ALIEN PARASITE BULLSHIT IS THAT?

This reminds me of something David Cross said.

It also makes me think of Lordmaji.  Yeah, that's right LM. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

j/k LM.  It makes me think of Brody's father

[close]

"Oh, he's so great!  This other day, he looked at a grape..."

"What the fuck, man?  What happened to our friendship, man.  I'll look at grapes with you."

[muckhole]

After several long discussons with the significant other, we decided against having kids. Personally, I'm petrified at even thinking about it, and were just not settled enough in life. I'm getting too old anyways, even though I act like a teenager. Going for the vasectomy this fall.

Awesome thread.

[lordmaji]

friends who become parents usually cease to become friends usually because i have to be friends with their kid too and the parents themselves turn into these gigantic fucking douches.

"my kid did this"

"my kid did that"

good lord, i know i sound like a selfish prat for saying that, but it's nothing compared to what has happened to the people I've seen become parents

THEY HAVE MADE FUCKING MYSPACE PAGES FOR THEIR KIDS AND THEY MOVED ALL THEIR KIDS TO THE TOP EIGHT AND MAKE POSTS AS THOUGH THEY WERE THE KID

WHAT SORT OF IDENTITY SUBLIMATING CRAZY ALIEN PARASITE BULLSHIT IS THAT?

This reminds me of something David Cross said.

It also makes me think of Lordmaji.  Yeah, that's right LM. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

j/k LM.  It makes me think of Brody's father

[close]

.... .... ... ............ Brody.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Phoenix Dark]

Maji's son sounds like a badass. Less disturbing stories on little Ms Drinky Gein, more stories of Maji Jr

[lordmaji]

Maji's son sounds like a badass. Less disturbing stories on little ms drinky gein, more stories of Maji Jr

The brat has more charisma in his pinkie finger than I do all together. Couple years ago I let FA watch him for the day... FA sat him down and they played Dead Rising. He was like 2. He still talks about it.

PD and his traps!

[Beezy]

I didn't know there were so many black men on this forum.

[duckman2000]

Maji's son sounds like a badass. Less disturbing stories on little ms drinky gein, more stories of Maji Jr

The brat has more charisma in his pinkie finger than I do all together. Couple years ago I let FA watch him for the day... FA sat him down and they played Dead Rising. He was like 2. He still talks about it.

My kid came home to the sound of God of War. For a while, she wouldn't fall asleep without the game playing in the background. Between that, Gears and a flurry of shooters, I'm certain the kid is going to later in life face revelations of a previous life as a soldier in World War II.

[lordmaji]

Maji's son sounds like a badass. Less disturbing stories on little ms drinky gein, more stories of Maji Jr

The brat has more charisma in his pinkie finger than I do all together. Couple years ago I let FA watch him for the day... FA sat him down and they played Dead Rising. He was like 2. He still talks about it.

My kid came home to the sound of God of War. For a while, she wouldn't fall asleep with the game playing in the background. Between that, Gears and a flurry of shooters, I'm certain the kid is going to later in life face revelations of a previous life as a soldier in World War II.

We're breeding future warriors! 

[Human Snorenado]

no kids for me

  my wife

Man I wish I could find a woman like that.  Every girl I meet, it eventually always turns to "eventually we're gonna have kids, you know" and I'm like "eventually YOU'RE going to have kids, bye lol".

[duckman2000]

My wife doesn't like kids.  She doesn't even like holding babies, and on more than one occasion she has gotten in trouble with family/friends for amking fun of their kids.  Her mom is the same way.

There's something sinister afoot here

[hyp]

i just don't dig the "energy" part of it.  i'm definitely tired a lot more than i used to be.  

doesn't stop me from engaging in my hobbies and being a dirty consumer.

[Phoenix Dark]

Mrs Cohen 

I've gotten in trouble for not wanting to hold new born relatives. Perhaps that's why I'm constantly designated as the Official Babysitter of the Cooks/Jones Clans. smh

but i gotta say, i have a four year old cousin who's the absolute cutest kid I've ever seen. 

[hyp]

to the guys that do have kids -- is there anything rewarding about it that you do enjoy?  it's easy to be all doom and gloom about raising a child, but there's also the beauty of seeing them develop and helping them learn.

i'm definitely the nurturing type and i've always wanted kids so i don't really get all the negativity surrounding it.  yes it's time consuming and tests your patience, but i don't believe that you have to give up your individuality because of it.  i've begun working on my second LP, and that's with a 4-month old.  if anything, you just have to put in extra effort when it comes to the other activities that define you, imo.

great post btw, TA.

[TVC15]

Raising kids is the worst experience in the world.

Something that isn't uttered in polite company, something a parent can never say aloud. But the truth is that children sap your vitality, your energy and ultimately your identity.

You will never love anything more than you love your child. More than you love a spouse, more than you love even yourself (which isn't hard to fathom because most people are self-loathing.). Which is what makes parenting most painful of all. All of their shortcomings, failings and pain that a child experiences will hit you ten-fold. The constant balance of giving your child enough room to grow, but protecting them is a constant battle you never feel you get right. Lots of regret.

Maybe that's why parents don't tell us this. They want us to suffer and torture ourselves in the same way they had to endure years past. A passive-aggressive revenge plot to make us appreciate them. Or maybe they just forget.

So, I'm giving child-rearing a thumbs down. Later in life, when you come to the same realization .. remember who told you first.

This is all, summed up, basically why I chose to be gay.

[duckman2000]

to the guys that do have kids -- is there anything rewarding about it that you do enjoy?  it's easy to be all doom and gloom about raising a child, but there's also the beauty of seeing them develop and helping them learn.

Of course. As much as I feel annoyed and unappreciated by the kid, the frustrating moments are well balanced with the uniquely cool moments, like when the kid says, and means, that I'm the "fahkin bess, da'i!" (yes, complete with the profanity)

Naturally, a few minutes later you will of course suck, but that's fine, because you know that when it comes down to it, you are the best. I don't know, it's really hard to explain the appeal of the whole experience, but it's definitely something very unique. My initial standpoint was that, hell, I've never tried raising a child so let it be a new adventure, which it is. And all the things I have sacrificed, such as doing drugs and being generally reckless, aren't important enough to make this experience less worthwhile.

[ToxicAdam]

i try to never talk about my kid unless she did something odd or disturbing

and i was on the "child-rearing is soul-crushing" bandwagon before you, ta! i have a bunch of gaf posts griping about it.

Here, I thought I was being original and thought-provoking.
 

[ToxicAdam]

to the guys that do have kids -- is there anything rewarding about it that you do enjoy? 

Sure. There is something inherently great about watching a child grow, learn and actually teach you things (about yourself and the world around you.) Plus, you understand a whole new deeper meaning of love. Whatever you THINK is love before you have kids, is completely obliterated afterwords. But, that is also the great pain. You become SO wrapped up into these kids that you lose yourself and begin to become boring and soulless.

i'm definitely the nurturing type and i've always wanted kids

You should definitely have children then.

[Tauntaun]

no kids for me

  my wife

Man I wish I could find a woman like that.  Every girl I meet, it eventually always turns to "eventually we're gonna have kids, you know" and I'm like "eventually YOU'RE going to have kids, bye lol".

  Triumph is as cold as ice. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

He makes my nips hard. 

[close]

[Himu]

adam, trouble at home?

No way.
[/quote]

I'm glad!

[Van Cruncheon]

to the guys that do have kids -- is there anything rewarding about it that you do enjoy?  it's easy to be all doom and gloom about raising a child, but there's also the

i'm in the don't have kids camp, but there ARE a few good things about it, fo sho.

1. unlike gold, they are a form of currency that exists across cultures. well, if they're predominantly caucasian, that is. my daughter has a going rate of roughly 50000 yuan.

2. you can train them to say the shit you'd normally get in trouble for saying, because a cute kid can say anything and get away with it.

3. a good old-fashioned beating is a great catharsis for a shitty workday.

...

i kid. i do enjoy watching my daughter grow up on her good days, and i find myself both appreciating and envying her joyful, simplified view of the world where one's own FEET are amazing and the fact that CATS EXIST is a staggering, reality-defining revelation both broad and sublime.

[Don Flamenco]

I've been enjoying playing "cool uncle" for my 3 nephews and my niece. It has been interesting watching my brother and sister take different approaches to raising their respective kids...but one thing they've both been great about is not letting it take over their lives completely.  Each year gives them a bit more freedom, so they plan things around those years.  Still, I see hints of things ToxicAdam is talking about.

I don't want my own until I'm settled into my profession with a decent amount of money and done having the kind of fun you can't have with kids to worry about...so sometime around 35 or so.  It'll be a sacrifice, but on the other hand, it'll be nice to not have to wonder forever what my kids would have been like.