Malstrom - "Secret to the Casual"- Updated Synthesizer Patel Response Edition

[Jabberwocky]

http://seanmalstrom.wordpress.com/2008/07/06/secret-to-the-casual/

It's a really, really long article, but worth the read. Very thought provoking an very true in many ways I think.

I usually don't post videogame editorials, but this one is really good. It's so refreshing to see something like this in light of... say, GamesRadar's 50 fucking mundane top 10 lists (per day) which contribute absolutely nothing to anything (although I guess the "casual" prefers those types of articles - in reference to the above editorial).

[Jansen]

If your game isn’t fun in one minute, it is broken. No one cares about your later stages, the ’story’, or how wonderful you think you are. Imagine reading a novel where the author spends page after agonizing page glossing over how wonderful the setting is, how descriptive the characters are, and other garbage. The reader will likely throw the book out and say the author doesn’t know how to tell a story. The same is true of game players. They will turn off your game and think you don’t know how to make games. And they won’t even care what reviews your game got. It is not unlike the original Rad Racer NES game where you have a minute to get to a ‘post’ and, if you arrive in time, you are granted another minute. Consumers will only grant you a minute or two for you to show your game is fun. If you waste that on tutorials, cinematics, wordy introductions, or on some stupid ‘build up’, the player will shut off your game. Games need to be consistently fun as well. Most players, even hardcore ones, abandon games in the middle of them despite a fun early part.

fucking fail even if this douche is exaggerating to drive his point home. 

[MrAngryFace]

he's wrong, I mean I bought Operation Darkness

[JustinP]

fucking fail even if this douche is exaggerating to drive his point home. 

i haven't read the whole article but my assumption was that he'd be talking about making games appealing to casuals, rather than gaming in general.  under that assumption, i think his point you quoted is very valid. 

[ananus]

that's some dumbass nfag who got banned on gaf for being himself. his articles/posts are/were always about how he and nintendo are right with the wii and everyone else is wrong, like every nfag ever since the wii started selling - they were right once, so they have to be right about everything else now!

casual gamers are distinguished mentally-challenged and they play distinguished mentally-challenged games. casual games lack depth, are repetitive and rarely innovate. if casual gamers wanted gameplay they'd be playing street fighter and devil may cry, but they're going for smash bros and zelda, which funny enough are shitty games played for all the wrong reasons, but that's alright since it fits the agenda.

besides, even games with many cutscenes, like zoe2 or ffx, have better gameplay than garbage that has close to none like, shadow of the colossus or ffxii. cutscenes don't kill gaming, the wii does.

[Jansen]

fucking fail even if this douche is exaggerating to drive his point home. 

i haven't read the whole article but my assumption was that he'd be talking about making games appealing to casuals, rather than gaming in general.  under that assumption, i think his point you quoted is very valid. 

in no way is any game, even one aimed at casuals, a failure because you have to due a tut or watch an opening cinema.

[Brehvolution]

that's some dumbass nfag who got banned on gaf for being himself. his articles/posts are/were always about how he and nintendo are right with the wii and everyone else is wrong, like every nfag ever since the wii started selling - they were right once, so they have to be right about everything else now!

casual gamers are distinguished mentally-challenged and they play distinguished mentally-challenged games. casual games lack depth, are repetitive and rarely innovate. if casual gamers wanted gameplay they'd be playing street fighter and devil may cry, but they're going for smash bros and zelda, which funny enough are shitty games played for all the wrong reasons, but that's alright since it fits the agenda.

besides, even games with many cutscenes, like zoe2 or ffx, have better gameplay than garbage that has close to none like, shadow of the colossus or ffxii. cutscenes don't kill gaming, the wii does.

.

[Van Cruncheon]

why are we wasting a thread on this douchery

[Himu]

Is the creator of this article Lapsed?

[Himu]

that's some dumbass nfag who got banned on gaf for being himself. his articles/posts are/were always about how he and nintendo are right with the wii and everyone else is wrong, like every nfag ever since the wii started selling - they were right once, so they have to be right about everything else now!

casual gamers are distinguished mentally-challenged and they play distinguished mentally-challenged games. casual games lack depth, are repetitive and rarely innovate. if casual gamers wanted gameplay they'd be playing street fighter and devil may cry, but they're going for smash bros and zelda, which funny enough are shitty games played for all the wrong reasons, but that's alright since it fits the agenda.

besides, even games with many cutscenes, like zoe2 or ffx, have better gameplay than garbage that has close to none like, shadow of the colossus or ffxii. cutscenes don't kill gaming, the wii does.

Oh I know you just didn't hate on Shadow of the Colossus. That game has amazing boss fights.

[Crushed]

I don't think that's Lapsed. They write very differently.


Lapsed was a half-douche, this guy is two douches.

[Draft]

Did Sfags ever get like this during the PS2 era?

Serious question. Are there old blog posts kicking around of crazy people writing 10,000 word essays on why Sony "gets it" and no one else does?

[TVC15]

Did Sfags ever get like this during the PS2 era?

Serious question. Are there old blog posts kicking around of crazy people writing 10,000 word essays on why Sony "gets it" and no one else does?

No, Sony fans had actual games to be playing rather than waste the time on writing something pointless and distinguished mentally-challenged.

[Fragamemnon]

what a ninthing shitwit. OP almost deserves a leper for dragging this filth here.

Imagine reading a novel where the author spends page after agonizing page glossing over how wonderful the setting is, how descriptive the characters are, and other garbage. The reader will likely throw the book out and say the author doesn’t know how to tell a story.

or, you could be a fucking adult without ADD, read and enjoy the richness of the setting that the author has created, and then enjoy the payoff when the characters interact with the setting in a way that is nuanced, meaningful, and consistent.

or you could be like this malstrom guy, who has a raging hardon with the nintendo's causal gaming philosophy, which is basically the video game equivalent of the following fine (fictional) television show:

[youtube=425,350]4qMOVZhffEM[/youtube]

Did Sfags ever get like this during the PS2 era?

Nintendo fans were more intolerable than the Sony ones even in those times. They've ALWAYS been awful manchildren.

[Jabberwocky]

I wasn't familiar with who he was before reading the article, so I read it without any bias. I still think the article makes some profound points, particularly in the sections not related to games.

I don't agree with him on the stance of nongames (if I read it right).

[Van Cruncheon]

much like his mythical games with their tedious five minutes of exposition and tutorials and cutscenes, i didn't read more than a paragraph of the author's article before i closed my browser window in disgust and went back to beating my dick with a tack hammer.

[Van Cruncheon]

i can't fathom a single facet of that comparison that isn't wholly contrived and/or purely a point of audience aggrandizement

[Crushed]

he calls shakespeare a "casual writer" :'( :'(

well, he was pretty popular

[Van Cruncheon]

i am really starting to loathe how low the bar is set for intellectualism on messageboards and blogs these days

[Van Cruncheon]

he calls shakespeare a "casual writer" :'( :'(

well, he was pretty popular

no, he was pretty talked-about

his competition was dry, long-winded theatrical ruminations on grecian tragedy and the church via gross extended metaphor

the number of folks who actually saw a shakespeare production in his time were very, very small

and nowadays, harry potter outsells him by a vast order of magnitude

[Crushed]

his competition was dry, long-winded theatrical ruminations on grecian tragedy and the church via gross extended metaphor

Just like the JRPGS of today.

[Van Cruncheon]

kojima probably has more in common with shakespeare if one must relentlessly force the analogy. and the wii library with the huckster promising a "comedie of manners" featuring an obese prostitute and a truculent pony. of the two, the latter was vastly more popular at the time, anyhow

[cool breeze]

i am really starting to loathe how low the bar is set for intellectualism on messageboards and blogs these days

This is the reason why I dislike this guy so much.  The fact that people even feel the need to address and discuss this guy's points is sad.  I posted this in the Outside Link thread asking why the hell would people bother with this shit, but later on I see someone made a thread here.  At least here people have sense to realize the bullshit.  I wouldn't be surprised anymore if someone made a thread about something Kittonwy wrote now.

[Van Cruncheon]

his competition was dry, long-winded theatrical ruminations on grecian tragedy and the church via gross extended metaphor

Just like xenosaga, minus the intellectual cachet

fix'd

[Jabberwocky]

Well... so much for that.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

...before I had a chance to bitch about it!

Article: http://seanmalstrom.wordpress.com/2008/07/06/secret-to-the-casual/
Original thread: http://www.evilbore.com/forum/index.php?topic=22639.0

Wow, that was probably the worst thing I've ever read about the Wii - and as others have stated, that's a pretty impressive pool to out-do. Although, he did get one thing right with his forced book analogy - like Dan Brown novels, the Wii is extremely popular with anti-intellectuals who hate to have their shallow preconceptions or vocabularies challenged.

Actually, if we take his horrible logic to its omega point, 400 years from now, The DaVinci Code will be the cornerstone of the 21st century Western canon.

Nintendo fans

[Powerslave]

People who lock threads are homos.

[APF]

In what world was The Legend of Zelda considered a "casual" game?

[Crushed]

today's casuals are tommorow's classics. 
remember when a certain irish author had the audacity to write a breezy story set in one day in dublin?  the "hardcores" were aghast that someone dared to set an entire novel in such a simplified timeframe.  but the people loved it. 

and that book was horrible

i don't want to hear about a man lusting after a woman's "hams" and then taking a shit, or some sick emo wondering if a woman is hiding an aborted fetus

[Crushed]

Have people started cosplaying as their Miis yet?

[JustinP]

i read more of the article and then the thread was locked - lame

yeah the guy's a nut job.  only valid points he made concern what it takes to have a successful casual game, but i don't think that applies to all games.  

[Howard Alan Treesong]

today's casuals are tommorow's classics. 
remember when a certain irish author had the audacity to write a breezy story set in one day in dublin?  the "hardcores" were aghast that someone dared to set an entire novel in such a simplified timeframe.  but the people loved it. 

great works of art follow the three unities: unity of time, unity of place, unity of waggle

[Van Cruncheon]

ironically, "the king and the slave" parable seems to be working to nintendo's detriment, since by treating the consumer as a king, you ultimately create things that satisy only the most shallow of whims -- because that's what a king does: utter whims he expects to be satisfied. hence, we have the eminently disposable wii fit. and all of the other utterly disposable experiences not named "super mario galaxy" on the wii.

a better parable -- well, it's not a parable at all -- is the creator who makes something to satisfy only himself or herself, and then tells everyone to either enjoy it or fuck right off.

i'm pretty sure shakespeare never considered what other folks might enjoy before penning his plays; he knew what he liked, what he wanted to produce, and wrote to that end.

(btw, i can tell i spent too much time hanging around a midwestern liberal arts school when i instinctively put "he/she" as the pronoun for "shakespeare :'()

[Oblivion]

The articles deserves 110% of its ridicule, but there is something pretty humorous about criticizing one particular elitist mindset with another.

[Van Cruncheon]

who said the article was of an elitist mindset? quite the opposite: it's staunchly anti-intellectual.

[Oblivion]

I meant the general definition of elitist, simply thinking you're of a superior mindset.

[y2kev]

FALL BACK BEHIND PC GAMING

LOCK THE DOORS
SEAL THE WINDOWS

[y2kev]

Rembrandt painted what people ordered. This whole art pour l'art thing is a fairly recent phenomenon.

he also died destitute and dirty

wii > rembrandt

[Van Cruncheon]

I meant the general definition of elitist, simply thinking you're of a superior mindset.

is there somebody -- anybody -- out there who conisders himself/herself to be of an inferior mindset? do i hafta quote montaigne on this one, or can you just imagine the monocle popping

[Van Cruncheon]

Rembrandt painted what people ordered. This whole art pour l'art thing is a fairly recent phenomenon.

what individuals ordered, not what the masses demanded

[Van Cruncheon]

I meant the general definition of elitist, simply thinking you're of a superior mindset.

is there somebody -- anybody -- out there who conisders himself/herself to be of an inferior mindset? do i hafta quote montaigne on this one, or can you just imagine the monocle popping

I actually believe myself to be quite a bit stupider than a lot of people

  realism
  Fantasyland objectivism

i'd venture that you're like me: you play to the crowd, but you also KNOW you're a fair bit smarter than the hurfdurf set in butterfuck, nebraska -- or gaf, collectively

seriously, though: why express an opinion if you think you're inferior? posting on the interwebs is a fundamental act of hubris

[Fragamemnon]

Rembrandt painted what people ordered. This whole art pour l'art thing is a fairly recent phenomenon.

what individuals ordered, not what the masses demanded

exactly, there is a big difference. I mean, a good chunk of the games I play most nowadays come from a team of like 11-12 people from France and another 10 duders in Sweden. They have their sponsors, and we have an agreement-they keep making their kind of games, we'll keep buying them.

Thus guy wants uniformity of the industry into the lowest common denominator, so that games will always be suitable for everyone-everyone pisses themselves while in the blue ocean, and enjoys their wii faggotry because it is some sort of unified theory of game design.

Far better is the idea of balkanization of the huge market space into segments-both large and small-that reach out to specifically serve certain audiences. The big hurdle to this is the traditional boxed product publishing/development model, but that is going the way of the dodo-at least in the PC space-at long last.

[Don Flamenco]

I meant the general definition of elitist, simply thinking you're of a superior mindset.

is there somebody -- anybody -- out there who conisders himself/herself to be of an inferior mindset? do i hafta quote montaigne on this one, or can you just imagine the monocle popping

depends on what you mean...but no, there aren't (m)any I'd be willing to humbly bow to in vidyagame land. I don't take it seriously enough.

[tiesto]

While I think the article is really silly (oh look, another person bitching about "cutscenes" and "games as art"), I do think that there needs to be something for casuals to dip their feet into... and that focusing on an extremely small subset of hardcore gamers is ultimately a dead end venture.  Ideally, the gaming industry would be plenty diverse... we get casual pick up and play stuff, stuff satisfying the retro gamers, the big budget spectacle games, and the extremely intricate niche titles. I'm one of those few people who can find games from all those categories enjoyable depending on what I'm in the mood for (though most of it tends to be from category B or D, or B+D ). Unfortunately, this gen there's no platform that seems to satisfy all four of those bases like we did last gen with the PS2, so you see a sharp divide and civil war between all facets of gamers... I don't remember stuff being NEARLY this bad in the PS2 era, once the Sega fans got over the death of the Dreamcast. None of these groups should be at fault though, except those who like Madden and "urban" games though

[Oblivion]

I meant the general definition of elitist, simply thinking you're of a superior mindset.

is there somebody -- anybody -- out there who conisders himself/herself to be of an inferior mindset? do i hafta quote montaigne on this one, or can you just imagine the monocle popping

I wouldn't think so, but my point was, really what makes one person's opinion more valid than another's?

[Van Cruncheon]

that's hardly a question constrained to observations of "elitism"

[Oblivion]

that's hardly a question constrained to observations of "elitism"

I had sort of a point, but I think I lost it somewhere midway between the last post.

I'll show myself out. :/

[pancakesandsex]

His bullet points about how to tell if a game was "broken" seem more like complaints that would raise a red flag for ADHD.

[bork]

He locked it?  Yuck, imma merge this one into that one and unlock it then.

[cool breeze]

His bullet points about how to tell if a game was "broken" seem more like complaints that would raise a red flag for ADHD.

It just means that this: http://www.gametrailers.com/player/35898.html  is probably his GOTY.

[y2kev]

stuff like this is why i laugh whenever someone complains about "sony fans are the new nintendo fans"

sony fans at least make the feeble effort to prove their shitty games are superior to 360 games.

ntards have relied on sales and PR fed bullshit for years now.

i don't see how they are even comparable in any way except delusion.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

As I said in the Outside thread, this article fails immediately because it makes the assumption that only the Wii and the NES ever attempted to get casual gamers.  That is incorrect since casual gamers have been playing games since the 1970s and even today.  The article ignores tens of millions of new gamers that started playing from the 16 bit generation to the Xbox.

This article made it seem like Iwata was an all wise knowing sage who knew that the DS and Wii would sell the numbers it did.  It was a gamble.  Nintendo found itself falling farther and farther behind Sony and Microsoft on the technology curve so it decided to see if there were any untapped markets out there.  For years, companies across the world did the Blue Ocean Strategy far before Nintendo even thought of going in that direction.  The concept has been around for ages.

This article also assumes that Sony and Microsoft were too narrow minded and tunnelvisioned about their new systems.  Again, untrue.  That they wanted to force consumers what to buy.  This is total shit as both these systems offer a wide variety of features.  If you don't like any of the releases, there is plenty to play in the PSN/XBLA.  I would go on but everyone is fully aware of the features offered here.  I still believe that its price point is what is holding back the kinds of sales both systems should be having.  360 has lukewarm hardware sales but great software sales, which means that people are satisfied with their system.  Wii has very poor software sales.  Which means that most people are just getting it only for Wii Sports and then probably the closet, to be brought out only when their 5 year old nieces and nephews stop by.

The article is pretty much hackwork where a probably semi-autistic writer threw together a long winded but rather substanceless.  It will play well with Nintendo fans because it is rare to see their company's sack get licked as much as Maelstrom does.  It shows them that they were right in 2006 for saying the Wii would be #1.  Granted, the Nintendo fans had no clue of the reasons why the Wii would sell the numbers it did but they will still pat themselves on the back nonetheless.

[Crushed]

sony fans at least make the feeble effort to prove their shitty games are superior to 360 games.

I'm pretty sure Nintendo fans do this too.

[cool breeze]

Nintendo fans eventually back down to the "It's not that bad" argument, which basically means they failed.  Basic structure of how it goes: "BWii is awesome!...I mean, it is pretty fun compared to the first one! It's not that bad!"

[archie4208]

FUN is the rally cry of nintards worldwide. 

Shitty graphics?  Who cares? It's FUN!

Broken controls?  Who cares? It's FUN!

Archaic gameplay supported by tired franchise characters?  Who cares? It's FUN!

[y2kev]

sony fans at least make the feeble effort to prove their shitty games are superior to 360 games.

I'm pretty sure Nintendo fans do this too.

nah

[Don Flamenco]

Awesome.  N'Gai is in the GAF thread justifying Malstrom's writing style by saying it's actually a jab at how "hardcore" gamers talk to "casual" gamers. 

wtf sauce.   

That comment makes me realize how self-contained these internet stereotypes are. Hypothetical situation-- the Wii comes out at Thanksgiving and the whole family is enjoying Wii Sports...do you sit there and think to yourself about how these dumb casuals don't know the genius of Hideo Kojima and long cut scenes?     

'cause Malstrom's whole premise for this shitty article is that you do. 

[Van Cruncheon]

i try to avoid anything involving games when in polite company

[Don Flamenco]

okay, answer C works too...the fact that nobody discusses games that in-depth in real life, besides those close to the industry or talking with friends who are also into gaming, of course.

[Crushed]

Hypothetical situation-- the Wii comes out at Thanksgiving and the whole family is enjoying Wii Sports...do you sit there and think to yourself about how these dumb casuals don't know the genius of Hideo Kojima and long cut scenes?     

(reads GAF)

Honestly, I think half of them do think that.