Having a drop of real milk touch my tongue pretty much makes shit simultaneously shoot out of all my orifices. It's like when the modern Doctors regenerate, except I don't get to regenerate and I have to basically bathe in bleach to ever feel clean again.
Can you eat cheese? Please tell me you can eat cheese. If I couldn't eat cheese I would probably shoot myself in the forehead or something.
I generally only like mild, non-adventurous cheeses. I don't believe I've ever had a cheese-related problem, but then again, it's not like I eat more than a little bit of it at a time, though.
Milk, though, the things that happen to my toilet after drinking milk would make your average battered woman's life look like a trip to Disneyland.
