Why didn't someone tell me they were making a movie based on The Donkey Punch??

[Joe Molotov]

Amazing. 

http://www.avclub.com/content/hater/donkey_punch_the_movie_re_writes

[youtube=425,350]Pzoh5XvVVjE[/youtube]

I guess it's really my fault for not reading AVClub more, but still, I'd think more people would be talking about this. This sounds like the best high concept horror movie since Snakes on a Plane.

[Van Cruncheon]

i'll wait for DIRTY SANCHEZ

[cool breeze]

this is a real movie? 

[Joe Molotov]

i'll wait for DIRTY SANCHEZ

That'll be the second sequel after Donkey Punch 2: The Tony Danzaing.

[Crushed]

This sounds more like a concept for a comedy than a horror film.

"UH-OH, you killed her with a donkey punch! Time for some wacky adventures across the country until it turns out that she's alive at the end!"

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Donkey Punch 3: Cleveland Steamer

"Oh God, I was aiming for her chest! I didn't mean for it to choke her!"

[close]

[Great Rumbler]

Only one lonely critic quote ("The sexiest most shocking film of the year"--Empire) in the trailer? You can do better than that, Donkey Punch. Granted, I haven't actually seen the movie, but I have seen the trailer, so feel free to use any of the following quotes from this column in subsequent promotions:

"You won't believe Donkey Punch (the movie or the sexual act)!"--Onion AV Club

"It's the feel-smart-and-superior movie of the summer!"--Onion AV Club

"What? Ha ha ha ha ha!"--Onion AV Club

"You'll never think about Donkey Punching the same way again, unless you thought it was funny that people thought it was real, in which case your thoughts regarding Donkey Punching will remain the same!!!"--Onion AV Club

"Thankfully not a porn!"--Onion AV Club