"MS HATES US"

[mojovonio]

I’m disgruntled with Sony, I’ve been annoyed by Nintendo, but Microsoft is the only one of the big three that has truly pissed me off. My experience with my 360 has been more or less akin to that of being a beaten wife in denial. I'm currently on my 6th system and I’m so freaked out that it’ll break again that I sent in a questionable claim to Xbox support just to have a box and shipping info prepared just in case it goes.

So here’s a list of every wrong, perceived or real, that Microsoft has done onto the gaming community (aka my “peeps”). Note: due to space restrictions the following will be limited to gaming-based examples of how Microsoft hates us, there are many, many more.

Vista

Microsoft has achieved the closest thing to a monopoly in the operating system market: an environment where the competition is either regarded as a cult, or simply laughed at. That’s why they can get away with baiting PC gamers as they did with Windows Vista, which is currently making people so miserable that they're going back to XP. That's right, thousands of geeks and technology freaks who live in a world where anything over a year old is ancient are willfully going back to the old OS because the hot new thing is a hateful piece of crap.

The Brick
In the first few months after the 360 launch we were treated to loads of size-comparison shots of the system’s external power next to things like a Gamecube, a game case, and in one of the internet's darker corners, someone’s wang. Sure enough the thing is unwieldy. It's so heavy it strains the cords connected to it, and it performs worse in heat than an overweight hooker.

Battery-Eating Controller
Maybe it’s my fault for having outdated expectations of my battery-powered devices, but I’d prefer to think it’s Microsoft hating us. Whatever the case, all I know is that I changed my Wavebird batteries once in two years and the batteries that came with my 360 controller lasted all of three weeks. After that, it was either buy the play and charge kit or a return to the Gameboy days when batteries were coveted like crack.

The Core
Disaffectionately known as the Xbox 3-Shitty, the core package was an unjustifiable purchase. Desperate parents were faced with crippling shortages, and the terrible choice between making their little snookums upset or getting the impaired Core package. Such a devastating moment of consumer agony could have been avoided if not for the…

Worldwide Launch
The classic story of the 360's launch was that while they were sitting on shelves in Japan, people were being robbed at gunpoint for one in the US. While I didn’t have to point a gun at anyone to get one, I did have to do some things I’m not too proud of.

The Original Xbox Controller

It was quite a sight to behold, a controller so big it could be used to smuggle in illegal immigrants. A controller so big it could pull other controllers into it's orbit. Did I mention it was big? Besides the whale-choking size, the monstrosity had a poor button layout and, as the launch controller, was the only option unless you wanted to import the well-proporioned Japanese controller. Oddly enough, a friend of mine still favored this massive thing, go figure.

Headsets
Wanna know how long it took me to break my Xbox 1 headset? 30 seconds. As soon as I put it on the connector snapped and I spent the next 6 months being playing with a headset held together by a yard of duct tape. I don’t think the hair around my right ear will ever grow back. Then, my 360 headset was destroyed beyond repair in another 30 seconds by a kitten with abandonment issues. Needless to say, I’m now using a third party headset, and it’s already lasted longer than the other two combined.

Customization
I just don’t get this whole customization craze. People are happily paying 20 bucks for a pretty hunk of plastic to make their 360 “theirs”. Add in the overpriced picture packs and themes, and I’m forced to draw the conclusion that people are idiots. Hmm, fourth time today, what a coincidence. Of course this wouldn’t be as bad if not for…

Microsoft Points
In the devious world of online micro transactions, a theme that should cost $1.50 ends up costing more than four times as much because this online pseudo-currency only comes in sets of much more than anyone needs. It’s like going to a rigged casino, losing half your chips, and being forced to gamble away the other half because you can’t cash out. Hmm, that doesn't really work. Maybe a simple sodomy analogy would’ve been less cumbersome.

The List
One of the finalists for “bane of my existence” being narrowly beaten out by capital punishment and this guy named Gordie I fought with in second grade. So many great games I always wanted to play (like Chronicles of Riddick, Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath, Otogi 2) but didn’t have the Xbox for. Even after schilling out the $500 to Microsoft via this guy on eBay, I still can’t play them until someone decides it’s worthy of emulation. That means I'll never be able to delve into such classics as Barbie Horse Adventures and Big Mutha Truckers.

Avatars In, Gamerpics Out

In the big kerfuffle about E3, certain nasty truths about all the shiny new stuff can get lost, or at least delayed until everybody's calmed down enough to start tempering expectations again like intelligent human beings. So I feel a responsibility to get up on my soapbox, dodge fanboy ejactulate, and speak the truth so that all may share in my outrage. The nasty truth about this new 360 dashboard update (the one with the Mac-like interface, the Wii-like avatars, and the complete lack of shame) is that is will render the gamerpics and themes that so many people have spent so much money on completely useless. To reiterate: all that cash, down the crapper. Also, while I'm at it; Santa's not real, wrestling is fixed, and mommy's "friend" Tony is banging her like a screen door in the next room.

Reliability Issues
This is, of course, the big one. If you can't guarantee your product will work when it gets to the consumer than the consumer won't buy it...in theory. While that never stopped me or anyone I know, it has caused me lots of grief. I've spoken to 15 different customer service reps of at least 3 different nationalities. I've even gotten sent on to someone at HQ who kissed my ass and called me every day for a week to make sure I wasn't going to do something drastic, like stop buying their products. I'm on my 6th console, and now that I'm out of warranty I live every day in fear. It's like Microsoft was contracted by the universe to dish out all the karmic payback from every time I hit my brother when we were kids.

http://xboxfocus.com/columns/36-six-rings-in/625-microsoft-hates-us/index.html

Seriously, how the fuck is the 360 dong as well as it is.

Its a POS.

[Van Cruncheon]

rrod aside, none of these are issues experienced by 95% of gamers

only the 5% of crazy, and they should stick with mac/wii

[Crushed]

...Large Xbox 1 controllers? The power brick? Is this man stuck in a time warp?


And IIRC, gamerpics still work, avatars are optional.

[tiesto]

rrod aside, none of these are issues experienced by 95% of gamers

only the 5% of crazy, and they should stick with mac/wii

My Xbox 1 headset broke, and so did a second one. The Xbox 1 headsets were true pieces of crap... But rest of this list is stupid (Not being able to cash out MS Points? You can't on Wii either. Don't want to "pimp" your console? Nobody's forcing you. Don't), or easily avoidable (Don't like the Core SKU? Don't buy one! Batteries drain too fast? Buy a play-n-charge kit!)

[AdmiralViscen]

Can you cash out on PSN? Never tried.

The OG XBox headsets were horrible, and weren't they like $30-40 to replace?

[Trent Dole]

MS wants your money. Just like Nintendo and Sony. 

[duckman2000]

He forgot to mention the assy tray based DVD drive, and the EZ-scratch last-gen disc media.

Xbox 360

[Kestastrophe]

Plus there is no tilt function on the 360 pad. It's like, if I want to control the glaive in Dark Sector or engage in a moronic minigame in COD, I can't because the 360 controller is waggle impotent. What a piece of shit

[JustinP]

http://www.gamasutra.com/php-bin/news_index.php?story=19620

[duckman2000]

Plus there is no tilt function on the 360 pad. It's like, if I want to control the glaive in Dark Sector or engage in a moronic minigame in COD, I can't because the 360 controller is waggle impotent. What a piece of shit

Warhawk makes a real point of this, though. Having now gotten used to waggle controls, it really adds a lot to the game. Maybe it's just how it's designed, but it works real well.

[homborg]

The guy who made Braid talked about how much he regrets going with MS and wishes he went with PSN.

that douchelord wouldn't be satisfied with anything.

[abrader]

This is some gay shit.

My X360 never failed etc...

I only know one person who faced RROD.

I dont play X360 anymore - but hardware failures were not the reason.

[y2kev]

MS won't live RRoD down outside the hardcore community. People will be asking if Xboxes still "blow up" for a very long time.

Luckily they subsist strictly on the hardcore. I don't know why MS thinks it can win over the casual market...everything about their console is anticasual. It's called "Xbox" for starters.

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

I only know one person who faced RROD.

I dont play X360 anymore - but hardware failures were not the reason.

RROD is a big deal.  I've gone through 4 systems myself and everytime someone asks me which system they should buy I always tell them PS3 because of it.

I love the games on the 360 but MS's hardware fuck up this generation is just too big to ignore.

[Eric P]

360s hardware failures and Sony's corporate failures are why i'm skipping this gen.

year of pspc

[duckman2000]

The PS3 is a nice machine, but really, this is waiting, which is really starting to wear on me. I'm psyched about the next gem from Sucker Punch, but another fucking year? MAG sounds cool, but is it even anything beyond a cool concept right now? There are games coming, but the big shit always seems to be on the horizon.

[Bocsius]

MS does not hate easy company.

It just hates you.

[cool breeze]

The thing about the RROD problems is that Sony also had similar problems with launch PS2s, but I don't think it was ever as blown up as this is.  I also don't think it is only among the hardcore user base since just this past weekend a friend was asking me about which type of 360 he should buy so it wouldn't break.  I was actually a bit surprised by this.  I guess people who save up money for things really need to research what they are buying.

And I don't think Microsoft would ever reach the casual market that Nintendo has.  It actually bothers me that they are wasting so much time trying to do get that audience. 

[MrAngryFace]

Its 'cuil' to hate on Microsoft. That's a good half of it.

[duckman2000]

The thing about the RROD problems is that Sony also had similar problems with launch PS2s, but I don't think it was ever as blown up as this is.  I also don't think it is only among the hardcore user base since just this past weekend a friend was asking me about which type of 360 he should buy so it wouldn't break.  I was actually a bit surprised by this.  I guess people who save up money for things really need to research what they are buying.

And I don't think Microsoft would ever reach the casual market that Nintendo has.  It actually bothers me that they are wasting so much time trying to do get that audience. 

For me, it become extra annoying due to the insistence amongst fellow Xbots that there was no issue. My first system died pretty early, only about 6 months in, and at that point, a mere mention of the issue was met with accusations of spreading FUD, and at best a quiet acknowledgment that hey, maybe one or two could break, and I was just unlucky.

Microsoft not doing anything about it until the company was squeezed by mainstream media didn't help my already tarnished image of Microsoft in the console business. Things break, but that's not all there was to it. Widespread denial and plenty of backtracking on ideals (Major Nelson and his talk of the importance of HDD and about being all-inclusive, only to turncoat when the Core was revealed and the accessory lists were leaked, for example) didn't help either.

[MrAngryFace]

It'd be cool if someone who wasnt you said all that. Cause I would read it. I mean its so obvious what you represent.

[cool breeze]

Why do people still bring up launch ps2s?  It's two and a half years later.  That's the problem.

It is a comparable situation.  Sony fixed the problem.  I'm actually not read up on if Microsoft fixed the problem or not yet, but it doesn't seem liek they have.

[duckman2000]

It'd be cool if someone who wasnt you said all that. Cause I would read it. I mean its so obvious what you represent.

  Someone who was a card-carrying Xbot last generation, but now can't stand the company due to the massive flaws in this rushed generation? That'd be what I "represent."

[Van Cruncheon]

red ring was fixed last year, but there are still a lot of pre-zephyr units in the retail channel

[Van Cruncheon]

red ring was fixed last year, but there are still a lot of pre-zephyr units in the retail channel

if yer buying a new xbox, do your homework. rrod sucks, but at this point, a little education on ther matter will go a long way

[cool breeze]

Well then that is good to hear.  I am going to buy another 360 eventually, but I am holding out hope that MS releases a slim or redesigned model eventually like Sony did.  I have 2 PS1s and 2 PS2s (and 2 PSP, 2 DS, 3 GBA, 4 Gameboys, etc).  I will feel better about buying a different piece of hardware that way.

[Smooth Groove]

It'd be cool if someone who wasnt you said all that. Cause I would read it. I mean its so obvious what you represent.

  Someone who was a card-carrying Xbot last generation, but now can't stand the company due to the massive flaws in this rushed generation? That'd be what I "represent."

How were you a Xbot though?  MS is putting out far better games this gen and still has the best multiplatform system.  Aside from reliability issues, there's no question that the 360 is a better system than the Xbox yet everything you say about the 360 is negative.  

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

I don't know what my current 360 model  is but I've had power supply problems since the day I got it.  I'll turn it on and I'll be able to hear the fan run but nothing happens so I have to cycle the power a couple times to start it.  Seems to be worse when it's cold.  It's like a freakin' lawn mower.

But my PS3 can be just as annoying.  Not only is it just as loud as the 360 anymore, I'm also getting a ton of signal drops between the controller/remote and system lock ups.  Infact I've had exponentially more system freezes with my PS3 than I ever had with the myriad of 360s I've owned put together.

[Smooth Groove]

I don't know what my current 360 model  is but I've had power supply problems with since the day I got it.  I'll turn it on and I'll be able to hear the fan run but nothing happens so I have to cycle the power a couple times to start it.  Seems to be worse when it's cold.  It's like a freakin' lawn mower.

Did you check your 360 with another power supply?  It might still be the system that's causing the problems.  

But my PS3 can be just as annoying.  Not only is it just as loud as the 360 anymore, I'm also getting a ton of signal drops between the controller/remote and system lock ups.  I've had exponentially more system freezes with my PS3 than I ever had with the myriad of 360s I've owned put together.

What is causing the noise with your PS3?  The disc drive or the fan?  

Noise is one thing I can't complain about the PS3.  I notice the fan spinning faster during MGS4 but that's about it.  

[Mupepe]

my ps3 is absolutely silent

And it's been an absolute rock outside of the two times when it wouldn't give me my discs back   that scared the fucking shit out of me.

5th xbox 360 lol

[duckman2000]

It'd be cool if someone who wasnt you said all that. Cause I would read it. I mean its so obvious what you represent.

  Someone who was a card-carrying Xbot last generation, but now can't stand the company due to the massive flaws in this rushed generation? That'd be what I "represent."

How were you a Xbot though?  MS is putting out far better games this gen and still has the best multiplatform system.  Aside from reliability issues, there's no question that the 360 is a better system than the Xbox yet everything you say about the 360 is negative. 

I disagree about the games. Halo is better than Halo 3 and presented a far more unique experience, Fable or even Crimson Skies have no equals, and Microsoft abandoned Rallisport in favor of focusing on various tarmac racers. Amped? Forget about it.

The only positive thing that can be said about the Xbox 360 in comparison to the Xbox, especially given what one should expect from a follow-up, is that Xbox 360 has Crackdown, and that it facilitated the development of Gears of War. Other than that, everything surrounding this rickety suicidal barnacle has so far been meh to worse, with Microsoft abandoning the all-inclusive format in favor of one that relies on multiple configurations and hideously overpriced accessories.

Still want another one as there are games on the system I'll want to play, I just wish they'd come out with a seriously redesigned system. Does the elite have wifi built in?

[cool breeze]

I have had my PS3 freeze before (I think it was once with Uncharted and maybe one more time after that), but I haven't had any problems outside of that one instance.  It is still really quiet and the only times I can really tell it is even on is if I turn my AC off so it is quiet enough to hear it.  My 360 is incredibly loud, even more so than my PC, and despite having a loud AC in my room, the 360 can still be heard on top of it.

The one strange thing is that my PS3 seems to be hotter than my 360 when playing games.  360 seems to give off a lot of hot air, but the PS3 has the right side of it become hot to touch.

Oh, and I will agree with duckman that I was actually more of an Xbox fan last gen than I am this gen, but I think a big part of that was due to how different the game selection was compared to the PS2 or Gamecube.  This gen everything just seems so homogenized with the same types of games on both PS3 and 360.  Not to say that is a bad thing or anything like that, but there was a slight appeal to it being different that there isn't anymore.  Also, a lot of games on 360/PS3 are on PC now, so my interest in getting them for console is waning.

[MCD]

tl;dr

[duckman2000]

My Ps3 overheated recently, which sucked. One reliable console future, please.

[Smooth Groove]

You can actually water cool a Xbox 360.  Koolance sells a kit for it. 

Watercooling for increased reliability is distinguished mentally-challenged though.  The only reason why I water cool my PC is so that I can get even more performance out of it. 

[Smooth Groove]

I still want a one console future.

Have the actual specs required for a game the same across (GPU, CPU, etc)

But have the box available to be made by anyone.

So say if the xbox720 comes out, and there's a Toshiba model and a Samsung model. But the Samsung model is smaller and less noisy or whatever.

Didn't they do something like that with the Saturn? 

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

Did you check your 360 with another power supply?  It might still be the system that's causing the problems.  

I'm just assuming it's the power supply. Haven't bothered with swapping it out though. 

What is causing the noise with your PS3?  The disc drive or the fan?  

It's the fan.  I've got it in a cool room, well ventilated on a shelf by itself.  I've vacuumed and used compressed air but the thing will still kick into overdrive after 10 minutes or so.  It just started doing it within the last month.  *shrugs*

Honestly, I find the system lockups to be much more annoying that the fan noise right now.

[duckman2000]

I still want a one console future.

Have the actual specs required for a game the same across (GPU, CPU, etc)

But have the box available to be made by anyone.

So say if the xbox720 comes out, and there's a Toshiba model and a Samsung model. But the Samsung model is smaller and less noisy or whatever.

Basically, a common development interface. It'd be nice if we could chose our systems based on which brand offers the best hardware, as opposed to various exclusives. And if you buy the best, you could play everything. I still think that's what MS had in mind from the start, only the RROD deal sort of fucked up any realistic chance it had of squeezing Sony into acceptance of Microsoft OS and services. Which is a shame.

[y2kev]

Microsoft has focused a lot on "bringing Playstation franchises to Xbox," so what you have is a PS2 mixed with a heavier (though not dominating) focus on FPS games and Microsoft's cool XBLA minus the majority of the quirky Japanese stuff (though some of it still exists, obviously).

Xbox was Microsoft trying to be PS2 and failing (and we got some gems out of that), and Xbox 360 is MS trying to be PS2 and succeeding (and we get some gems out of that). I think it matters what your preferred approach is.

I mean, look at the early Xbox lineup. Bloodwake? Hello!

Didn't they do something like that with the Saturn?

not really, IIRC. All the saturns are SEGA manufactured with different capabilities.

3do is really what you're thinking of.

[MCD]

there is a korean only sega saturn by samsung.

[y2kev]

there is a korean only sega saturn by samsung.

That I did not know. Is it still basically a Saturn design?

edit: I looked it up. They're still all basically Saturns. There are Saturn shell models by Hitachi, JVC, and Samsung. I mean like 3DO where you were basically buying a different form factor.

There is ONE saturn that is kind of what I am picturing: the Hitachi Hi-Saturn Navi.



basically a different product

[MCD]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sega_saturn

seems so and there is even a JVC and Hitachi ones.

[duckman2000]

Didn't Panasonic make a Gamecube?

edit:

[abrader]

Well - to be fair I didnt have my launch X360 long enough for it to fail...

my second X360 that I kept for about a year was one of the launch elite models.

I honestly know MANY people with X360 and have only heard of one RROD...we all joke that its an internet myth/FUD.

Most of the people I know with X360 have year one X360's that still work perfectly fine to this day....Its worth mentioning that many of them are casual gamers from professional circles that likely dont run it as hard as some of you guys...

[JustinP]

I still want a one console future.

Have the actual specs required for a game the same across (GPU, CPU, etc)

But have the box available to be made by anyone.

So say if the xbox720 comes out, and there's a Toshiba model and a Samsung model. But the Samsung model is smaller and less noisy or whatever.

having multiple licensed makers of a single console's spec is plausible and has happened in the past to limited degrees. 

but a 'one console future' with one 'spec' is not plausible, at all. 

[Rman]

Launch elite still going strong. 

[MrAngryFace]

I've never had a RROD, but I have had drive issues that led to increasing DREs

[Kestastrophe]

I've never had RROD, but my launch 360 died last year from Error 73, so I was completely fucked because it wasn't covered by warranty.

[MrAngryFace]

I've had to return one, which puts it one up on the PSOne and Dreamcast and even with the PS2.

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

Now the PS1 had some major problems.  I was flipping it upside down, sideways, left, right, up, down, A, B, A, B just to get it to work at all.  Towards the end I was using duct tape and placing a brick on top of it and it was hard to play anything on it because FMV would run like a slide show.  The thing was a piece of junk.

[laesperanzapaz]

PC

[cool breeze]

This is actually one area where I wouldn't claim PC has #1 superiority.  I mean, PC is where Battlefield 1942 was patched before the game even game out.  Even on my newer good PC, I had several demos (ranging from Painkiller to Stranglehold) crash on me.  Nothing ever breaks the rig, but yeah, I have a lot of crashes over the years.

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

I mean, PC is where Battlefield 1942 was patched before the game even game out.

At least there was a patch already out.  I remember buying Sierra's Outpost when it came out (this was back around '95 I believe) and you couldn't even play it for the first month because they shipped it broken, and I'm not talking about MOO3 style broken either.  You literally couldn't boot the game.  We had to wait an entire month before they addressed it.  Probably the most frustrating gaming moment I've ever had that didn't include the words Battlecruiser.

[Eel O'Brian]

i kicked my ps1 halfway across the living room once, with a disc in it, and it still worked after that

i also bravehearted many a controller into the floor

my friend, on the other hand, treated his like a kitten and it still shit the bed on him way before mine did

[Eel O'Brian]

i'm on my third 360, and i never kicked any of those

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

the way to treat an X360 is to leave it on almost 24/7. I think Mrs C is one of the only people in Tokyopia who hasn't had RRoD and she has by far the most logged gaming hours on a (lauch) X360 of us all.

Yeah, I think it's better to keep the thing as hot as hell.   It's not overheating that people should be worried about, it's fluctuating temps.

[Tabasco]

Well since we are relaying war stories of broken Xboxen, my system will always spin a disc when there is one in the tray.  Even if I have the console in the dashboard, the thing still spins.  Either flat or upright.  No DREs or overheats, but it's so damn loud.  If it's still doing that when we get to install games, I'm going to research how to force DREs so I can get it fixed.

[Van Cruncheon]

perhaps next gen they will feel less need to rush out and we'll get the "3rd time is a charm" megaton game system?

nah.  the next batch of systems will be depressing Wii hangers-on.

this :'(

[y2kev]

I honestly suspect this console generation is it for systems tailored towrds hardcore/graphics forward gamers.  You should see the numbers some of the crap on the wii are getting now.

share some tales of woe

[y2kev]

I bet wii music sells a fuckton just because people are stupid

and people like TURKEY IN THE STRAW