Author Topic: What is the worst you have done when you have run out of toilet paper. (Read 4453 times)

MrAngryFace · « **on:** August 18, 2008, 12:40:01 AM »

I was using some kleenex today to avoid going to the store for toilet paper and figured this would make a good thread.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #1 on:** August 18, 2008, 12:41:13 AM »

My dog. So sorry Snowball. He was never white again :'(

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #2 on:** August 18, 2008, 12:41:40 AM »

Eh, paper towels. They hurt.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #3 on:** August 18, 2008, 12:42:12 AM »

yeah I was going for those first but was outta that too.

bagofeyes · « **Reply #4 on:** August 18, 2008, 12:43:02 AM »

jumped into the shower

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #5 on:** August 18, 2008, 12:43:59 AM »

Hahahaha

demi · « **Reply #6 on:** August 18, 2008, 12:47:46 AM »

Magazine

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #7 on:** August 18, 2008, 12:48:05 AM »

Which?

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #8 on:** August 18, 2008, 12:55:11 AM »

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #9 on:** August 18, 2008, 12:59:00 AM »

i made my dad eat my asshole out

BamYouHaveAids · « **Reply #10 on:** August 18, 2008, 12:59:40 AM »

newspaper. it drew blood.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #11 on:** August 18, 2008, 01:02:42 AM »

Quote from: Professor Prole on August 18, 2008, 12:59:00 AM

i made my dad eat my asshole out

wtf

demi · « **Reply #12 on:** August 18, 2008, 01:03:39 AM »

Quote from: Shell Beach on August 18, 2008, 12:48:05 AM

Which?

Family Circle

Seventeen

Nanosoft · « **Reply #13 on:** August 18, 2008, 01:05:47 AM »

Quote from: bagofeyes on August 18, 2008, 12:43:02 AM

jumped into the shower

muckhole · « **Reply #14 on:** August 18, 2008, 03:06:55 AM »

Nothing crazy myself, but I know a guy who refused to shit at his workplace because it was so disgusting. He'd wait until his break and go across the street to a trendy coffee shop.

Took the dump without doing a tp check first, and started rifling through his pockets for anything to use.
All he had was three sugar packets from his morning coffee run.

He claims those were the most efficient and focused three wipes he's ever performed.

And hence the phrase "Well, wipe my ass with a sugar packet!" was born amongst the gang.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #15 on:** August 18, 2008, 03:10:14 AM »

I avoid shitting in public, and ive done it long enough so much that I only really crap at night.

Mupepe · « **Reply #16 on:** August 18, 2008, 09:46:33 AM »

I don't shit at work any later than 11am. Bathrooms are too unpredictable after breakfast has set in and I definitely avoid after lunch has started.

The worst I've used is paper towels. That was

Tauntaun · « **Reply #17 on:** August 18, 2008, 10:17:49 AM »

One time when I was in nursery school I had one of the teachers wipe my butt. I think I knew that I could but just wanted her too.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #18 on:** August 18, 2008, 10:20:15 AM »

post it notes :'(

Kestastrophe · « **Reply #19 on:** August 18, 2008, 10:31:22 AM »

I've seen my younger brother shit in his hand with only a single ply of TP betwixt his hand and the feces.

Also, why is showering after shitting considered bad? I always considered this the best way to clean my ass

Powerslave · « **Reply #20 on:** August 18, 2008, 10:43:04 AM »

I always wash my ass with water on the toilet anyway, if there is no toilet paper to dry it up, I sit there for a few minutes and let it all drip, then wipe my ass with my shower towel.

cool breeze · « **Reply #21 on:** August 18, 2008, 11:10:37 AM »

Toilet paper is the second option for me. Just having dry sheets of anything won't get a good clean.

The most confusing thing to me is whenever I visit relatives they always have a pot of water, like something that seems to be for watering plants, next to the toilet. I always wondered what that was for, but apparently they lean over, water their asshole, then dry it off. That seems like a lot of work.

If I had the money, I would get one of those toilets with a nob that cleans and dries your asshole as you are still sitting. That is luxury.

Mupepe · « **Reply #22 on:** August 18, 2008, 11:15:19 AM »

Does anyone have the website to that thing that hooks on to any toilet and sprays warm water on your ass? I want that.

Reb · « **Reply #23 on:** August 18, 2008, 11:16:26 AM »

I could spray warm liquids on your ass.

Mupepe · « **Reply #24 on:** August 18, 2008, 11:16:49 AM »

cool breeze · « **Reply #25 on:** August 18, 2008, 11:18:04 AM »

[youtube=425,350]yHDX3enCDs0[/youtube]

hot

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #26 on:** August 18, 2008, 11:18:22 AM »

truth time: nettle leaves :'( :'( :'(

THANKS DAD, TAKING YER 10-YEAR-OLD SON ON 24 HOUR FISHING TRIPS TO NOWHERE, WA

Kestastrophe · « **Reply #27 on:** August 18, 2008, 11:27:59 AM »

Any of you disillusioned traditional TP users try these:

WrikaWrek · « **Reply #28 on:** August 18, 2008, 11:35:57 AM »

6th grade, final day of school, at the end of the day.

I go to the bathroom, monster shit. I have no toilet paper. My friends waiting outside.

When i came back, one of them asked "Man i could swear you were wearing socks".

"But i wasn't".

FlameOfCallandor · « **Reply #29 on:** August 18, 2008, 11:43:15 AM »

Just wipe it with your hands and then wash your hands.

WrikaWrek · « **Reply #30 on:** August 18, 2008, 11:44:44 AM »

Quote from: FlameOfCallandor on August 18, 2008, 11:43:15 AM

Just wipe it with your hands and then wash your hands.

How do you pull your pants up though? Do you just walk out with your hands full of shit?

FlameOfCallandor · « **Reply #31 on:** August 18, 2008, 11:53:31 AM »

There is a sink right next to most toilets.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #32 on:** August 18, 2008, 12:09:26 PM »

I took a monster shit at the hospital today because my stomach is all fucked up this morning and the toilet paper has no friction on it. It did nothing. $:-\$

Reb · « **Reply #33 on:** August 18, 2008, 12:10:24 PM »

What colour was it?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #34 on:** August 18, 2008, 12:12:36 PM »

Poop colour.

WrikaWrek · « **Reply #35 on:** August 18, 2008, 12:49:11 PM »

Quote from: FlameOfCallandor on August 18, 2008, 11:53:31 AM

There is a sink right next to most toilets.

In publick bathrooms? Really?

Awesome country.

Akala · « **Reply #36 on:** August 18, 2008, 01:08:46 PM »

Quote from: WrikaWrek on August 18, 2008, 11:35:57 AM

6th grade, final day of school, at the end of the day.

I go to the bathroom, monster shit. I have no toilet paper. My friends waiting outside.

When i came back, one of them asked "Man i could swear you were wearing socks".

"But i wasn't".

haha I did this sophomore year of high school.

Greatness Gone · « **Reply #37 on:** August 18, 2008, 01:09:20 PM »

This thread shows why you should always have somebody shave your asshole hair.

Dingleberries - "A smallish, semi-dry, extraordinarily tenacious remnant of fecal matter which, when unwittingly rolled into a mixture with toilet paper lint by the action of wiping, becomes almost irremovably entangled among ones anal hair, a situationality exacerbated by the vigorous chafing and friction between the buttocks and most commonly remedied by the sad and almost entirely unavoidable remedy of plucking out at its root the individual hair to which each dingleberry is conjoined. Of related interest, dingleberries are often noted as having the vague odor of undigested corn or peanuts."

MyNameIsMethodis · « **Reply #38 on:** August 18, 2008, 01:10:43 PM »

When I was like five I had to use dirty paper towels out of the trash bin at a grocery store.

WrikaWrek · « **Reply #39 on:** August 18, 2008, 01:54:57 PM »

Quote from: MyNameIsMethodis on August 18, 2008, 01:10:43 PM

When I was like five I had to use dirty paper towels out of the trash bin at a grocery store.

Wow.

That's fucked up.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #40 on:** August 18, 2008, 02:07:56 PM »

Quote from: MyNameIsMethodis on August 18, 2008, 01:10:43 PM

When I was like five I had to use dirty paper towels out of the trash bin at a grocery store.

Winner.

cool breeze · « **Reply #41 on:** August 18, 2008, 02:14:31 PM »

Quote from: MyNameIsMethodis on August 18, 2008, 01:10:43 PM

When I was like five I had to use dirty paper towels out of the trash bin at a grocery store.

ya have aids?

Mupepe · « **Reply #42 on:** August 18, 2008, 02:17:14 PM »

Quote from: MyNameIsMethodis on August 18, 2008, 01:10:43 PM

When I was like five I had to use dirty paper towels out of the trash bin at a grocery store.

wow what the fuck!

Tucah · « **Reply #43 on:** August 18, 2008, 02:20:16 PM »

Quote from: MyNameIsMethodis on August 18, 2008, 01:10:43 PM

When I was like five I had to use dirty paper towels out of the trash bin at a grocery store.

What the fuck. This beats any of my possible stories.

Powerslave · « **Reply #44 on:** August 18, 2008, 02:22:23 PM »

he lived in the ghetto

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #45 on:** August 18, 2008, 02:28:06 PM »

newspaper

Hollywood · « **Reply #46 on:** August 18, 2008, 05:49:06 PM »

I'll give you guy a special here on no toilet paper/kleenex/wipes, etc.

Coffee machine filters baby. If you run out, thats about the best you can do.

News:

Author Topic: What is the worst you have done when you have run out of toilet paper. (Read 4453 times)