Pathetic Athletic : Athletic horror shows from your youth

[dcharlie]

Inspired by the other thread and a few strange memories from when i was younger which were sparked by watching the Olympics :

School Atheletic failures!

200m - was going so fast that i lost my footing , crossed the finish line on a shale track via skidding - picking bits of gravel out of my legs for weeks.

400m - hadn't been feeling well and threw up my lunch which , due to feeling sick , was some sliced peaches. Sliced peaches came out pretty much whole just beyond the finish line, over the feet of a relaxing female track attendant. Popular!

Javelin - christ knows why i was put down to compete in this when i was absolutely GASH at it. Ran up on first throw and pulled back the javelin and caught a bit of cross wind. ended up javelin was lateral as i pulled forward, cracking myself on the back of the head and sending the Javelin looping into the air in a comedic fashion landing flat about 2m from where i was.

[MrAngryFace]

-Picked Last

That about sums it up. Booyah

[cool breeze]

I couldn't do a pull up, at least not in 7th grade.  I can do it now, in fact several of them, but back then I would just grab the bar and hang there until I got bored and eventually let go.

[CajoleJuice]

I was playing soccer during recess in elementary school. There was a huge girl playing with our usual group of players. She was dribbling the ball, and I ran up to her to steal the ball, tripping her in the process.

She fell on me as my feet slipped into a split. It was the most painful thing I had experienced up to that point in my life.

[Phoenix Dark]

Soccer: I played for two seasons and scored once. Dumbest shit I ever did: I somehow dribbled the ball past the goalie who slipped and fell, but when I tried to score my kick was so weak it bounced a couple feet to the left - to a teammate who then casually kicked it in to score. I felt like a pussy

Basketball: Worst thing that ever happened was losing our homecoming game, thus ending our perfect record. We got cocky and stopped listening to the coach as we breezed through 13 wins. We lost the last game by two points - one of my teammates missed two free throws that could have tied it, and I fucking got the rebound but missed an easy put back

[etiolate]

I was on second, running home on an outfield hit and decided to stop on home base instead of running through, leading to a broken ankle bone.

Played fullback/defensemen in soccer as a kid, with our defensive mantra being "charge and kick it long".  Also, everyone loved putting their biggest kid as forward in the junior high bracket. Ball is passed way ahead by other team, lands between me and a big forward, I charge, reach ball, but he reaches me and plows me so hard I get knocked out. I come to, shake it off, take my free kick and immediately walk off the field realizing I have no idea what is going on. I wasn't even sure what direction I kicked the ball. They inform me they kicked the other player out of the game for KOing me and I proceed to bawl my eyes out.

[CajoleJuice]

home base?

[Eric P]

-Picked Last

That about sums it up. Booyah

mine is similar but it's "picked at all"

[Tristam]

Hm, in my junior year for soccer I drank way too much gatorade before our 2-mile warm-up run; all that acid build-up induced vomiting as I was running.

And in soccer wingers always seem to get stuck in the wall on free kicks. I'm a winger. I've been hit in the nuts many more times than I can remember. Covering them up only does so much against a 70 mph free kick.

The worst ever was when my groin was sore from a soccer game so I took some Icy Hot to the insides of my thighs. I accidentally brushed just a tiny bit against my balls and I spent the next ten minutes in the bathtub alternating between the hot and cold faucets (because I couldn't figure out whether my balls were burning or freezing). Fucking agony man.

[Brehvolution]

I was either 1st picked or the one doing the picking.
Being tall and fast rules!

[Kestastrophe]

I played football and baseball in highschool. I was actually pretty good at baseball and was recruited for a junior college because of the awesome American Legion season that I had.

[siamesedreamer]

Outfielder - so no cup.

Fouled a ball off the plate which bounced up and rattled the jewel bag. That was horrific.

[Lone]

I broke the last knuckle on the middle finger of my right (dominant) hand...



...playing flag football.

Flag

Football.

But I kept playing

Fapping became a let down when I had that stupid splint on my finger.

[T234]

BEAT TENNESSEE 

JJASPER MUST BE STOPPED

[BamYouHaveAids]

I remember during a elementary school basketball game the other team missed a foul shot and my teammate got the rebound and scored a lay up in their basket. It was one of the only 4 baskets he made the entire season, and the only non 3-pointer I can ever remember him taking.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I was 17 and this was a big game for varsity football.  We lost every single game (due to receivers who actually toked up before games) and this was a crappy ass team that we should have beaten.  Since you are all Gil Thorp fanatics, I will use the football analogy.  Since I was starting DE, I was to go inside between the OT and TE for this special play.  Then the OLB would have my back and get the TE.  So the play is executed and the OLB fucked it up by moving the wrong direction.  As a result, the TE caught the ball and made a 25 yard or so gain.  Not a touchdown or anything either.

The worst part was that for whatever reason, they blamed it all on me.  The coach did.  We lost the game by 23 points.  So I basically was lepered for a couple weeks.  At the time, I was too much of a "team player" to stand up for myself too much so I just accepted the criticism.  Maybe it wasn't my biggest flop but it seemed monumental to others.  If anyone asked why the OLB wasn't yelled at, his dad was one of the biggest donors of the football team where my parents were not.

=============================

Other examples:

- In Middle School, the coaches had a tendency of giving me an event in something I never practiced for, to go along with my sprints and shot putting.  I don't know why they did this.  Maybe they thought I had promise or maybe they hated me.  I assumed the latter and simply just didn't show up for those events.  Coaches and I would be at odds but they would keep putting me in these positions anyway.  In hindsight, I would have done them and got last like I knew I would but better than doing nothing.

[Madrun Badrun]

10th grade.  Last fucking day of gym class.  I was playing baseball, bating, lost my grip on the bat and tossed it about a foot over the heads of the people waiting to bat beside me. 

[Human Snorenado]

I have all of you beaten.  I broke my arm in sixth grade.  PLAYING KICKBALL.

[Tucah]

I couldn't for the life of me hit the baseball off of a tee in teeball.

[Positive Touch]

my long hair earned me the nickname "aerosmith" in my highschool gym class.  people would invariably break out into "love in an elevator" when i walked past.  i fucking hate aerosmith.

[CurseoftheGods]

Long story short: I had really weak bones when I was 10, and I broke an index finger when someone threw a ball at me (really hard).

It was an inflatable beach ball. 

[Brehvolution]

Positive Touch
They call me Aerosmith
Member

Posts: 555

[etiolate]

My long hair just got me nicknamed Steve Nash, which was okay with me. 

[Guybrush Threepwood]

I broke the last knuckle on the middle finger of my right (dominant) hand...



...playing flag football.

Flag

Football.

But I kept playing

Fapping became a let down when I had that stupid splint on my finger.

If you fap with your other hand after fapping with your dominant hand for awhile it feels AMAZING

[Brehvolution]

I broke the last knuckle on the middle finger of my right (dominant) hand...



...playing flag football.

Flag

Football.

But I kept playing

Fapping became a let down when I had that stupid splint on my finger.

If you fap with your other hand after fapping with your dominant hand for awhile it feels AMAZING

...like a STRANGER......

[Lone]

I broke the last knuckle on the middle finger of my right (dominant) hand...



...playing flag football.

Flag

Football.

But I kept playing

Fapping became a let down when I had that stupid splint on my finger.

If you fap with your other hand after fapping with your dominant hand for awhile it feels AMAZING

Believe me, I have, in the years since, learned of The Stranger.