MFing Bedbugs. UPDATE: DEY IS FLEAS.

[GilloD]

Shit, man. Bedbugs.

[Eric P]

you and borys should merge your infestation threads

[Tauntaun]

SHOWER AND DO LAUNDRY YOU DIRTY WHITE BOY!

spoiler (click to show/hide)

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[Human Snorenado]

Man, how am I supposed to throw you down on your bed and rape you if you have bedbugs?  Fucking shit, man.

[GilloD]

It explains all the red bumps and hives. Fuck. I just got this mattress! Bullshit.

[Tauntaun]

Man, how am I supposed to throw you down on your bed and rape you if you have bedbugs?  Fucking shit, man.

We'll bring him to my place, I'll be moved in Oct. 1st.  We can start the rape-age....OCT. 1ST!

[muckhole]

I thought you were sleeping on the floor! For real, though, I think you just might be cursed.

[GilloD]

I thought you were sleeping on the floor! For real, though, I think you just might be cursed.

No, we finally got a mattress on Saturday. But seriously.

[Tauntaun]

I thought you were sleeping on the floor! For real, though, I think you just might be cursed.

No, we finally got a mattress on Saturday. But seriously.

Does your wife have the bite marks too?

[Eric P]

I thought you were sleeping on the floor! For real, though, I think you just might be cursed.

No, we finally got a mattress on Saturday. But seriously.

Does your wife have the bite marks too?

let me get my pants off before you answer that

[GilloD]

I thought you were sleeping on the floor! For real, though, I think you just might be cursed.

No, we finally got a mattress on Saturday. But seriously.

Does your wife have the bite marks too?

Yes! Now I have to spend all night EXTERMINATING.

[GilloD]

 

All bedbugs mate via a process termed traumatic insemination.[2][3][4] Instead of inserting their genitalia into the female's reproductive tract as is typical in copulation, males instead pierce females with hypodermic genitalia and ejaculate into the body cavity

hjfdsjfghjdfdfhj

[muckhole]

It's getting hot in this thread, right here.

[Tauntaun]

All bedbugs mate via a process termed traumatic insemination.[2][3][4] Instead of inserting their genitalia into the female's reproductive tract as is typical in copulation, males instead pierce females with hypodermic genitalia and ejaculate into the body cavity

hjfdsjfghjdfdfhj

Hawt.  BURN DEM BITCHES!

[GilloD]

Fleas are easier, I guess.

[Human Snorenado]

Use some flea preventative, like Advantage or Frontline!

[Joe Molotov]

Just apply a few drops between your shoulder blades once a month, and kills fleas and their eggs for a whole 30 days!

[E-DuB]

All bedbugs mate via a process termed traumatic insemination.[2][3][4] Instead of inserting their genitalia into the female's reproductive tract as is typical in copulation, males instead pierce females with hypodermic genitalia and ejaculate into the body cavity

I love you so much I could stab you

[Joe Molotov]

All bedbugs mate via a process termed traumatic insemination.[2][3][4] Instead of inserting their genitalia into the female's reproductive tract as is typical in copulation, males instead pierce females with hypodermic genitalia and ejaculate into the body cavity

hjfdsjfghjdfdfhj

You left out the best part.

Remarkably, in the genus Afrocimex both males and females possess functional external paragenitalia, and males have been found with copulatory scars and the ejaculate of other males in their haemolymph. There is a widespread misbelief that males inseminated by other males will in turn pass the sperm of both themselves and their assailants onto females with whom they mate.[10] While it is true that males are known to mate with and inject sperm into other males, there is however no evidence to suggest that this sperm ever fertilizes females inseminated by the victims of such acts.[3]

Official Bug of Evilbore? Seems so.

[Bildi]

Use some flea preventative, like Advantage or Frontline!

Make sure you put it on the back of your neck, so you can't lick it off.  Tauntaun can still get to it there though.

[muckhole]

We'll have to put one of those lampshade-dealies on him.

[Bildi]

I think that's a great suggestion for the eb calendar shoot.

[Tauntaun]

Use some flea preventative, like Advantage or Frontline!

Make sure you put it on the back of your neck, so you can't lick it off.  Tauntaun can still get to it there though.

Don't underestimate the Tauntaun, I'll sex up your nostrils. 

[muckhole]

I think that's a great suggestion for the eb calendar shoot.

  Now all I need is a shirtless pic of GilloD. But then, who doesn't!

[GilloD]

This is like, oh fuck, almost 5 years old.

[Eric P]

well that's the last thing i think i'd have ever posted on the internet

[muckhole]

 

I'll never get a lampshade-dealie photoshopped onto that, but I really think it's perfect the way it is.

[GilloD]

I have much less acne and have gotten more handsome in the interim, otherwise it could have been taken yesterday. Also, that "Jack Bauer Power Hour" sharpie tattoo took forever to come off.

Oh, this is a good story. So someone like did it in huge block letters a few hours later with a magnum sharpie. The next morning I had sex with this girl, but she was on her way to a job interview, so she had on her little "fuck me/hire me" dress and didn't want to take it off. Whatever, baby. Anyway, long story short, her dress was like. SMEARED with sharpie afterwards.

God, college was fun, but I don't think I'd do it again.

[Eric P]

I have much less acne and have gotten more handsome in the interim, otherwise it could have been taken yesterday. Also, that "Jack Bauer Power Hour" sharpie tattoo took forever to come off.

Oh, this is a good story. So someone like did it in huge block letters a few hours later with a magnum sharpie. The next morning I had sex with this girl, but she was on her way to a job interview, so she had on her little "fuck me/hire me" dress and didn't want to take it off. Whatever, baby. Anyway, long story short, her dress was like. SMEARED with sharpie afterwards.

God, college was fun, but I don't think I'd do it again.

i think your wife would be upset if you tried

[muckhole]

He'd just stain her with his Bauer Power anyways.

[Crushed]

My cat's got fleas. At first we thought we got rid of them, but then we started waking up with bites on our arms.

Now she's got a flea collar, and just yesterday one of the little bastards jumped away from her scratching and right onto my arm.



So I guess the solution to your problem is to wear a flea collar and scratch yourself around others.

[GilloD]

I have much less acne and have gotten more handsome in the interim, otherwise it could have been taken yesterday. Also, that "Jack Bauer Power Hour" sharpie tattoo took forever to come off.

Oh, this is a good story. So someone like did it in huge block letters a few hours later with a magnum sharpie. The next morning I had sex with this girl, but she was on her way to a job interview, so she had on her little "fuck me/hire me" dress and didn't want to take it off. Whatever, baby. Anyway, long story short, her dress was like. SMEARED with sharpie afterwards.

God, college was fun, but I don't think I'd do it again.

i think your wife would be upset if you tried

That's true. Also, that girl was a monster bitch.