Most disturbing dinner discussion derailment

[Phoenix Dark]

My cousin and her husband are in town this week, and I just got back from visiting them at my parents' house. She was by far my favorite cousin when I was a kid, but she's been pretty sick for the last few years (she has MS and is bi polar). Anyway she's still awesome in my book, and her husband is cool too; I've known him most of my life although they've only been married for like 12 years.

ANYWAY my cousin is very strange, perhaps because she has to take a lot of medication. Today during dinner my little brothers were talking about some video they saw on youtube and things went to hell

Cousin's husband (I'll call him Wayne): Oh yea, we have youtube
Cousin (I'll call her Nicky): Youtube.com?
Brother: Yeah...
Wayne: I be on there all the time, watchin' videos from the 70s. Aw man good times
Nicky: But how come everytime I come over to the computer you tell me to not look?
Wayne: What?
Nicky: Because of that one time when I came over and something popped up for "hot lesbians having sex with other lesbians"
Wayne: Word, it was a pop up
Nicky: But that shouldn't pop up while you're looking at youtube.com
Dad: ...

At this point I had to jump in and save the man.

Me: Do you guys have internet explorer? Lots of pop ups come up on it, no matter what site you look at
Wayne: Word, word! That's probably what happened
Me: Yea. Download Mozilla; I'll send you an email about it
Nicky: But I've seen the lesbian ads in the bar on top of the screen, like someone has visited them before. You are on everytime I wake up at night, and undressed -
Dad: Uhhh anyway...
Me: Yea, definitely sounds like you're computer is infected. I can send you some ways to clean it up. That can happen even if you're looking at youtube or other regular sites [at this point I'm just bullshitting to save face]
Wayne: Thanks bro...

Jesus fucking christ, I've never seen someone air another person's business out like that. It's obvious the man is looking at porn, and maybe isn't hiding it as well as he should be - my cousin was good looking when they got married (she used to model), now she looks like a heavier version of my mom smh. A man has needs. But even if she suspected him of looking at porn I don't see why she'd bring it up at the dinner table, or in public in general wtf? Wayne was clearly sweating during the entire discussion; they're pretty religious, like my parents

[Van Cruncheon]

if they so religious, why the man lookin' at porno

smh

[Madrun Badrun]

I've heard the term "defecating out of her vagina" during a dinner discussion, so I win.

How was dinner with whiteman? 

[Van Cruncheon]

when i was sixteen and my bro was fourteen and we was sittin at the dinner table, he asked my mom if my dad's sperm tasted good

and i said you should know, dude

and we both got smacked and grounded, the end

[Madrun Badrun]

WTF?

[Don Flamenco]

this is tame, but my family is way too normal, unfortunately. When my older brother's wedding was coming up, there was a big family dinner with his fiance (now his wife.)  I was 12 at the time and already getting to be a little puberty-stricken shit.  Something came up about her brother, whose sexuality is in question to this day, and I blurted out "Oh, is that the one that's queer?!" really loud.  Silence and dirty looks ensued for the next few minutes, but I got saved when the doorbell rang.  My friends had come by to see if I could go out and I was pretty much told to stop eating and go with them. 

when i was sixteen and my bro was fourteen and we was sittin at the dinner table, he asked my mom if my dad's sperm tasted good

and i said you should know, dude

and we both got smacked and grounded, the end

oh my fuck

[demi]

word, word!

[Tauntaun]

when i was sixteen and my bro was fourteen and we was sittin at the dinner table, he asked my mom if my dad's sperm tasted good

and i said you should know, dude

and we both got smacked and grounded, the end

Prole

[muckhole]

when i was sixteen and my bro was fourteen and we was sittin at the dinner table, he asked my mom if my dad's sperm tasted good

and i said you should know, dude

and we both got smacked and grounded, the end

 

No discussion derailment per se, but I did manage to stab a steak knife in the side of my leg during dinner when I was a kid. It was the first time I had been allowed to use "sharp" cutlery. I didn't get to cut my own steak for a while after that.

[Brehvolution]

Don't hate the playa. Hate the game.

[Tauntaun]

when i was sixteen and my bro was fourteen and we was sittin at the dinner table, he asked my mom if my dad's sperm tasted good

and i said you should know, dude

and we both got smacked and grounded, the end

So like, is your mom hot and did you ever find out the answer to the question? 

[Brehvolution]

So you derailed it or saved it? Could have been much more entertaining had you said nothing.

[Van Cruncheon]

she was hot when she was younger, and no

[Madrun Badrun]

Brandnew's going to be PMing you for HOT INCEST STORIES. 

[Phoenix Dark]

So you derailed it or saved it? Could have been much more entertaining had you said nothing.

Yea but I couldn't let the man get hanged in front of everyone - that would have broken numerous man rules!

[Don Flamenco]

So you derailed it or saved it? Could have been much more entertaining had you said nothing.

Yea but I couldn't let the man get hanged in front of everyone - that would have broken numerous man rules!

as someone who has been called out for looking at porn, I commend you. 

the "buh buh buh pop-ups, browser hijacks, and internet explorer" excuse didn't go over so well for me, even though it's true...or at least, it was true up until about 2002 or so.

[Beezy]

i was a kid and i was just learning how to read. i used to like reading stuff in the bathroom and inevitably came across mom's tampons, i asked her about it and she told me that when people become grown ups they sometimes bleed down there and they need this to make it stop.

so one day i have a serious case of constipation, which apparently gave me an anal fissure (causing my baby anus to bleed) [insert pedo joke]. so i run to the bathroom, back to my mom (who was on the dinner table with her friends) and yell "IT FINALLY HAPPENED! HOW DO I USE THEM?"...

to this day i don't even dare to ask how my mom handled that situation.

Are you serious?

[Cormacaroni]

when i was sixteen and my bro was fourteen and we was sittin at the dinner table, he asked my mom if my dad's sperm tasted good

and i said you should know, dude

and we both got smacked and grounded, the end

...they call us The Aristocrats! 

[Bildi]

i used to like reading stuff in the bathroom

I used to like "reading stuff" in the bathroom too.

As for your story - .  But I hope your ass recovered.

[Joe Molotov]

when i was sixteen and my bro was fourteen and we was sittin at the dinner table, he asked my mom if my dad's sperm tasted good

and i said you should know, dude

and we both got smacked and grounded, the end

 :kylielaff

[Brehvolution]

So you derailed it or saved it? Could have been much more entertaining had you said nothing.

Yea but I couldn't let the man get hanged in front of everyone - that would have broken numerous man rules!

Nah man. A man digs his own grave. Let him climb or stop diggin.

[Phoenix Dark]

I can't imagine Jinfash wouldn't his awesome manly beard. This makes reading about his childhood so much more entertaining

[recursivelyenumerable]

At this point I had to jump in and save the man.

why would you involve yourself in any way?  the only socially sane reaction is to pretend you didn't hear anything.

[Joe Molotov]

Anyway, we know this story is fake because Youtube doesn't have hot lesbians having sex with other lesbians.

[CurseoftheGods]

Jinfash saved the thread.

[Phoenix Dark]

Anyway, we know this story is fake because Youtube doesn't have hot lesbians having sex with other lesbians.

He was getting porn pop ups, most likely due to surfing porn sites.

[xnikki118x]

Prole
Wayne's WORD, WORD

[Smooth Groove]

when i was sixteen and my bro was fourteen and we was sittin at the dinner table, he asked my mom if my dad's sperm tasted good

and i said you should know, dude

and we both got smacked and grounded, the end

As real as PD's stories.

10x funnier though

[Smooth Groove]

Didn't Prole just go to Oklahoma for College? 

[Van Cruncheon]

the story is real, and i only went to oklahoma for college

i grew up in a trailer in lewis county, wa

[Smooth Groove]

Wow, that story is right up there with the one about getting crowbar-ed on the head.  You had an interesting life indeed.  Hire me to be your biographer. 

I bet lots of people would be interesting in reading "From trailer kid to internet legend: The Drinky Crow Story". 

[Phoenix Dark]

what do we really know about prole

[Greatness Gone]

the story is real, and i only went to oklahoma for college

i grew up in a trailer in lewis county, wa

traila trashhhhhhhh

j/k

 

[Van Cruncheon]

how is that an interesting story? have you never sassed your parents as a teen?

if i am interesting, it's because you people make me so

[Greatness Gone]

I've never asked my mother how my father's semen tastes, so it's kind of interesting.

[Smooth Groove]

My mom'd probably get violent on me if I even tried something like that.  

[Van Cruncheon]

i regularly say foul things to my parents to this day

[xnikki118x]

I bet lots of people would be interesting in reading "From trailer kid to internet legend: The Drinky Crow Story". 

I'd buy it!

I've never asked my mother how my father's semen tastes, so it's kind of interesting.

Same for me. It's funny, though!