I pulled a muscle...in bed

[Don Flamenco]

YES MY PENIS, OKAY?

no, not really. but last night and also a few weeks ago, I woke up in the middle of the night to find myself stretching my leg, followed quickly by a shaaaarp cramp in my calf muscle that goes away about a minute later.  Then, the next day my calf muscle is pretty sore in the morning until I get up and walk around. Last night when I woke up, I knew what was happening and tried to stop it, but apparently I started stretching before I became aware, so it happened anyway (I was even like "aw fuck, no no no" ) it's really bizarre...but I'm also pretty sedentary, so I should probably go on walks/stretch more.

anyone else ever had this happen?

[Tieno]

never had this happen, but then again I'm pretty fit and healthy.

[demi]

Jerking off rocks

[Mupepe]

That used to happen to me before I started running regularly again.  I would stretch and then it would cramp so bad all the way down to my foot.  It only happened once every few months and I have no idea what the issue was.  It stopped when I started working out again though.

[Van Cruncheon]

i used to really enjoy pulling on my penis but then this one time white snot came out the end and i went to the doctor and he said a jew had cursed me

[Mupepe]

I tugged it last night like a minute after watching schindler's list.  I felt bad after I finished.  Then I went to sleep.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

i used to really enjoy pulling on my penis but then this one time white snot came out the end and i went to the doctor and he said a jew had cursed me

that would explain the hook-shape

[Mupepe]

It's all because Drinky is uncut.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Just like me

[close]

[fistfulofmetal]

I tugged it last night like a minute after watching schindler's list.  I felt bad after I finished.  Then I went to sleep.

One time a a jerked off while watching wrestling while my mom was asleep in a chair a few feet away.

[Phoenix Dark]

I tugged it last night like a minute after watching schindler's list.  I felt bad after I finished.  Then I went to sleep.

One time a a jerked off while watching wrestling while my mom was asleep in a chair a few feet away.

One time I jerked off while watching my cousin's 10th grade cheerleading tape

[Mupepe]

I tugged it last night like a minute after watching schindler's list.  I felt bad after I finished.  Then I went to sleep.

One time a a jerked off while watching wrestling while my mom was asleep in a chair a few feet away.

....

I tugged it last night like a minute after watching schindler's list.  I felt bad after I finished.  Then I went to sleep.

One time a a jerked off while watching wrestling while my mom was asleep in a chair a few feet away.

One time I jerked off while watching my cousin's 10th grade cheerleading tape

I'd like a copy

[Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich]

One time I jerked off while my blind grandma was right in front of me except she wasn't really blind and told me the next morning to not do that in front of her ever again.


Oh wait, that was someone else.

[Don Flamenco]

I don't know why I even attempted to defuse the penis jokes

yeah i think it happened to me a long time ago, almost on a weekly basis. then i went to the doctor and found out that i had some sort of malnutrition. i changed my diet, took my vitamins, and everything went back to normal.

i don't exactly remember though which nutrient it was

wouldn't be surprised if that were the case.  I eat pizza, burritos from chipotle, and either bagles/cereal for breakfast.  I snack on carrot sticks.  <3 college.

[Joe Molotov]

YES MY PENIS, OKAY?

no, not really. but last night and also a few weeks ago, I woke up in the middle of the night to find myself stretching my leg, followed quickly by a shaaaarp cramp in my calf muscle that goes away about a minute later.  Then, the next day my calf muscle is pretty sore in the morning until I get up and walk around. Last night when I woke up, I knew what was happening and tried to stop it, but apparently I started stretching before I became aware, so it happened anyway (I was even like "aw fuck, no no no" ) it's really bizarre...but I'm also pretty sedentary, so I should probably go on walks/stretch more.

anyone else ever had this happen?

Yeah, charley horses suck, I've had them a few times, always when I first got out of bed in the morning. The best thing to do is just immediately stand on it, and try to get that leg stretched out all the way. The longer you let it cramp, the worse it'll hurt later.

[bud]

I tugged it last night like a minute after watching schindler's list.  I felt bad after I finished.  Then I went to sleep.

One time a a jerked off while watching wrestling while my mom was asleep in a chair a few feet away.

One time I jerked off while watching my cousin's 10th grade cheerleading tape

one time i jerked off with my dad in the same room i kinda hid behind the chairs then i asked god for forgiveness

[Brehvolution]

[Bildi]

I get calf muscle cramps in the middle of the night about once every couple of months or so.  Have done so for years and my fitness level or the physical activities I'm doing at the time don't not seem to influence the cramps.

I have torn both calf muscles (due to having tight hamstrings - something I've been working on for the last few years to alleviate), but that didn't seem to affect the cramps one way or another.

Usually they just cramp and I stretch and they go away.  But occasionally they'll cramp bad enough that it'll be sore the next day. 

[Bildi]

I eat quite a high proportion of high-potassium foods, but I agree, bananas are a great source.

Edit: I was just looking up some things on leg cramps, a good article here: http://www.bodyandfitness.com/Information/Health/legcramp.htm

[Greatness Gone]

Has happened to me multiple times.

[CrystalGemini]

Listen to Cohen and Bildi.

More information:

Causes 

Although the specific cause is unknown, these cramps may be related to imbalances in local muscle chemistry. Many activities and diseases are associated with nocturnal leg cramps:

    * Overexertion of the muscles
    * Standing on hard surfaces
    * Prolonged sitting
    * Certain leg positions while sedentary
    * Dehydration
    * Diseases
          o Diabetes
          o Parkinson's disease
          o Hypoglycemia
          o Hormone disorders (eg, thyroid imbalance )
          o Chemical imbalances (eg, calcium, potassium, magnesium)
    * Certain medications
          o Blood pressure medicines
          o Statins (that lower cholesterol)
          o Morphine
          o Lithium

Risk Factors 

A risk factor is something that increases your chance of getting a disease or condition.

The following factors increase your chance of developing nocturnal leg cramps. If you have nocturnal leg cramps, tell your doctor about any of these risk factors:

    * Age over 50
    * Overexertion
    * Pregnancy
    * Staying in certain positions for a long time
    * Flat feet or other foot or ankle deformities
    * Alcoholism
    * Neurologic diseases
    * Certain medications
    * The diseases mentioned above

Prevention 

To reduce your chance of getting nocturnal leg cramps, take the following steps:

    * Stretch three times a day and just before going to bed.
          o Face a wall and put your hands on the wall and keep them there. Step backward, keeping your knees locked and your heels on the floor until you feel a strong pull in your calves. Hold that position for 10 seconds. Repeat two or three times.
    * Exercise feet and legs regularly.
    * Drink plenty of liquids.
    * Eat plenty of potassium-rich foods (eg, bananas, tomatoes, potatoes, broccoli, cantaloupe, oranges, and grapefruit).
    * Wear comfortable, supportive shoes.
    * Sleep with toes up, not pointed downward.

Last reviewed January 2008 by Robert Leach, MD

Please be aware that this information is provided to supplement the care provided by your physician. It is neither intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. CALL YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER IMMEDIATELY IF YOU THINK YOU MAY HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider prior to starting any new treatment or with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

Or you can just wiki it...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cramp#Nocturnal_leg_cramps

[Tristam]

I've had those before. They don't tend to be as painful as calf cramps during actual athletic events though. Last month I played a full 90 minute soccer game on little sleep and fewer nutrients and near the very end I collapsed after my whole left leg seized up on me. It felt as though there was a big lump on my calf for a couple days.

[demi]

huh huh, nocturnal