Author Topic: I need shit to hang in my office. Help me cunts. (Read 6675 times)

TVC15 · « **on:** October 19, 2008, 08:33:48 PM »

I kinda wanted to get some impressionist prints, but I don't want people to think I'm a woman. I ordered a full sized Barry Lyndon poster. I'm thinking some expressionist shit, but I can't go with my beloved Schiele because his best shit is proud with the art titties and gash. I was thinking some Francis Bacon to scare people away, namely this:

but 11x17 isn't that big. I was also thinking of symbolists, but most of them aren't emo enough for me. I want off-putting, abstract paintings, but not so abstract that we're in kooky abstract expressionism territory. Also, if there's a better place to be looking than allposter, lemme know.

Thanks bishies.

Vizzys · « **Reply #1 on:** October 19, 2008, 08:42:33 PM »

i like that

Brehvolution · « **Reply #2 on:** October 19, 2008, 08:44:32 PM »

A big banner of this:

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #3 on:** October 19, 2008, 08:46:31 PM »

Get a print of this:

TVC15 · « **Reply #4 on:** October 19, 2008, 08:47:51 PM »

Or a print of this:

kinda nsfw
http://www.wga.hu/art/b/bosch/3garden/1garden.jpg

I mean, it's even kinda religious but NO. ART TITTIES AND GASH ARE HARMFUL TO ANYONE THAT SEES THEM

Brehvolution · « **Reply #5 on:** October 19, 2008, 08:49:23 PM »

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #6 on:** October 19, 2008, 08:50:49 PM »

hang a bunch of rick nagel prints and let 'em know yer WILDE HOMO

TVC15 · « **Reply #7 on:** October 19, 2008, 08:51:28 PM »

I'm kinda digging on this, though I don't think it is intimidating or confrontational enough:

"The Knight, Death and The Devil" (but no oxford comma), Albrecht Dürer, c1514

TVC15 · « **Reply #8 on:** October 19, 2008, 08:55:54 PM »

Okay, this one, the Francis Bacon one, the Durer one, the Barry Lyndon poster, and a full sized print of Richard Nixon's presidential portrait. That sound good?

Bildi · « **Reply #9 on:** October 19, 2008, 08:59:42 PM »

Just an idea - I imagine you take abstract photos, so maybe you could blow up some of them? Perhaps less chance of being called a woman?

You could always put up the pic that muckhole posted (I can't stop thinking about it):

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

TVC15 · « **Reply #10 on:** October 19, 2008, 09:00:56 PM »

Man, this is so close to being work safe. This would have been perfect

Ooo, this is good:

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #11 on:** October 19, 2008, 09:02:39 PM »

You don't deal with customers in your office right?

Bildi · « **Reply #12 on:** October 19, 2008, 09:05:24 PM »

That Triumph of Death one is very nice. The Durer is great too and I especially love the Bosch one.

TVC15 · « **Reply #13 on:** October 19, 2008, 09:05:59 PM »

No, but you know, people can be unpredictable politically correct to a distinguished mentally-challenged degree.

Man, this one is totally work safe, and it's titled Massacre of the Innocents, but there's really not nearly enough massacring going on to get me off.

There are some Klimts I'd really like, even non-art gash and titties Klimts, but I think his stuff is too pretty. I mean, this is gorgeous, but totally not intimidating:

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #14 on:** October 19, 2008, 09:25:52 PM »

Since you're a Leonard Cohen fan:

I have no idea where you can find a print of it, though.

Tauntaun · « **Reply #15 on:** October 19, 2008, 09:27:12 PM »

Massive posters of naked jinfash.

TVC15 · « **Reply #16 on:** October 19, 2008, 09:28:11 PM »

OMG! I FOUND THE FUCKIN MEGATON!!!!!!

+work safe
+ Satan
+ baby sacrifices

GOLDMINE!

TVC15 · « **Reply #17 on:** October 19, 2008, 09:29:18 PM »

OMG MY DICK IS SO HARD

E-DuB · « **Reply #18 on:** October 19, 2008, 09:44:25 PM »

I love your thread titles...and the one with the goat is ace

TVC15 · « **Reply #19 on:** October 19, 2008, 09:52:05 PM »

I have been informed that baby sacrifices are probably not work safe

Man, fuck puritan bullshit america. I want Goya now, though. Maybe this:

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #20 on:** October 19, 2008, 09:56:40 PM »

oh, that's awesome. i want that for my office.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #21 on:** October 19, 2008, 09:57:11 PM »

Im going to get a high res print of an office window to scale and put it on my wall so I can feel awesome

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #22 on:** October 19, 2008, 09:57:42 PM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on October 19, 2008, 09:28:11 PM

OMG! I FOUND THE FUCKIN MEGATON!!!!!!

(Image removed from quote.)

+work safe
+ Satan
+ baby sacrifices

GOLDMINE!

I saw him in 300

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #23 on:** October 19, 2008, 09:59:27 PM »

do not doubt the historical accuracy of goat men

TVC15 · « **Reply #24 on:** October 19, 2008, 10:00:42 PM »

Man, I might have to order a print of that and its two companion pieces for home. It's really too awesome to not own. The way his arms are raised and his eyes look, it's just too awesome. And that little toddler undead thing on the lower right is too cute for words.

TVC15 · « **Reply #25 on:** October 19, 2008, 10:03:01 PM »

Is this one okay?

Background:

Quote

"On Easter Sunday 1475, the dead body of a 2-year-old Christian boy named Simon was found in the cellar of a Jewish family's house in Trent, Italy. Town magistrates arrested 18 Jewish men and five Jewish women on the charge of ritual murder - the killing of a Christian child in order to use his blood in Jewish religious rites. In a series of interrogations that involved liberal use of judicial torture, the magistrates obtained the confessions of the Jewish men. Eight were executed in late June, and another committed suicide in jail"

Or this one

I can't exactly tell what's going on because I can't find a bigger pic, but it's titled The Reign of the Antichrist so you know it has to be awesome/

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #26 on:** October 19, 2008, 10:05:45 PM »

reminds me of the pics in Club Dumas

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #27 on:** October 19, 2008, 10:25:06 PM »

If you're so keen to have Satan in a picture get one of those 16th Century Catholic ones to claim it as a religious picture. You don't like you offended my Catholics beliefs.

TVC15 · « **Reply #28 on:** October 19, 2008, 10:26:44 PM »

But the one I posted is warning people about what witches do. It's a public service.

TVC15 · « **Reply #29 on:** October 19, 2008, 10:27:53 PM »

And I don't necessarily need my lord satan in the picture. I just need intimidating pictures that kinda say "I don't want to spend too much time around his office because I might get stabbed."

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #30 on:** October 19, 2008, 10:31:33 PM »

Judgment Day that would fit the picture. Have murder, people being tortured etc but it would will still be religious.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #31 on:** October 19, 2008, 10:42:05 PM »

Fresh Prince · « **Reply #32 on:** October 19, 2008, 10:49:24 PM »

You know what I find sad? When single people put framed pictures of their pets on their desk or cubicle. *smh*

abrader · « **Reply #33 on:** October 19, 2008, 11:04:05 PM »

I have these two framed lovlies hangin in my office...

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #34 on:** October 19, 2008, 11:07:52 PM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on October 19, 2008, 09:00:56 PM

(Image removed from quote.)

who did this one? and the goat one?

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #35 on:** October 19, 2008, 11:35:37 PM »

Quote from: abrader on October 19, 2008, 11:04:05 PM

I have these two framed lovlies hangin in my office...

(Image removed from quote.)

I love how Japanese advertisers just create new genres out of whole cloth: SFX battle horror!

Customer: 'Excuse me, where is the SFX battle horror section?'

Clerk: '....'
'Do you want Phantasm I or Phantasm II?'

drew · « **Reply #36 on:** October 19, 2008, 11:45:31 PM »

Quote from: Eel O'Brian on October 19, 2008, 10:42:05 PM

dogs playing poker

Seconded. also,

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #37 on:** October 19, 2008, 11:46:14 PM »

I have a giant rubber frog in my office he rox

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #38 on:** October 19, 2008, 11:46:50 PM »

Quote from: Fresh Prince on October 19, 2008, 10:49:24 PM

You know what I find sad? When single people put framed pictures of their pets on their desk or cubicle. *smh*

FUCK YOU! :'(

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #39 on:** October 19, 2008, 11:48:27 PM »

Quote from: MrAngryFace on October 19, 2008, 11:46:14 PM

I have a giant rubber frog in my office he rox

[youtube=425,350]fbeiSgu52no[/youtube]

Does he ROX your COX?

Bildi · « **Reply #40 on:** October 19, 2008, 11:57:15 PM »

I really don't know what to say.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #41 on:** October 20, 2008, 12:16:31 AM »

No, I strapped a wireless adapter antenna to his head with velcro

TVC15 · « **Reply #42 on:** October 20, 2008, 01:13:20 AM »

Quote from: Father_Mike on October 19, 2008, 11:07:52 PM

Quote from: TVC 15 on October 19, 2008, 09:00:56 PM

(Image removed from quote.)

who did this one? and the goat one?

Albrecht Duerer and Goya. Both of them consistently bring the awesome, too.

Quote from: MrAngryFace on October 19, 2008, 11:46:14 PM

I have a giant rubber frog in my office he rox

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #43 on:** October 20, 2008, 01:15:10 AM »

haha there he is

TVC15 · « **Reply #44 on:** October 20, 2008, 01:19:30 AM »

I should take one with the antenna on. He looks so cyuuuuuuuute

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #45 on:** October 20, 2008, 01:27:58 AM »

HE IS HELPING ME DO MY JOB. Feel free to grab a PIC

Mupepe · « **Reply #46 on:** October 20, 2008, 01:55:11 AM »

Quote from: MrAngryFace on October 20, 2008, 01:15:10 AM

haha there he is

oh my god, so awesome

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #47 on:** October 20, 2008, 01:55:21 AM »

Its like "Where's Waldo?" but with death and judgment. Speaking of which, you should hang this in your space, TVC.

Where will we end up, Evilbore? On the Right Flap or Left Flap? :'(

Bildi · « **Reply #48 on:** October 20, 2008, 02:01:07 AM »

Rockin' art indeed.

Where-ever we end up, the main thing is that we'll all be nude.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #49 on:** October 20, 2008, 02:01:53 AM »

I love how going to Heaven means you get a garb to hide your shame

TVC15 · « **Reply #50 on:** October 20, 2008, 02:02:14 AM »

Francis Bacon was very fond of them, as well. Here's his lover, George Dyer, dying:

etiolate · « **Reply #51 on:** October 20, 2008, 02:03:54 AM »

el greco el awesomeo

not a triptych but STILL

Bildi · « **Reply #52 on:** October 20, 2008, 02:04:24 AM »

Quote from: BlueTsunami on October 20, 2008, 02:01:53 AM

I love how going to Heaven means you get a garb to hide your shame

Heh, I didn't see that initially. Eternal damnation it is then.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #53 on:** October 20, 2008, 02:30:43 AM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on October 20, 2008, 02:02:14 AM

Francis Bacon was very fond of them, as well. Here's his lover, George Dyer, dying:

(Image removed from quote.)

Wow... very powerful image. I love how the middle panel just has this overt sense of foreboding.

On the topic of Triptych works. I've been seriously thinking about messing with different perspectives of a single subject... or something like that. I'm a look into it some more.

Quote from: etiolate on October 20, 2008, 02:03:54 AM

el greco el awesomeo

http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/greco/baptism-1608.jpg

not a triptych but STILL

I dont' know if its me growing up with Catholic grandparents an them having similar works around their houses but I've always loved this style of painting and the scenarios they portrayed.

TVC15 · « **Reply #54 on:** October 20, 2008, 02:32:14 AM »

Oddly enough, much has been written about Bacon's shifting of the perspective between panels in that triptych.

This Bacon Triptych sold for over 90 million dollars:

TVC15 · « **Reply #55 on:** October 20, 2008, 02:49:27 AM »

From the other thread:

Bosch is pretty much consistently incredible.

And when the outer two panels are closed, you get this:

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #56 on:** October 20, 2008, 02:57:28 AM »

I just merged the topics... would be cool if this is one big thread about artwork.

I fricken love that work by Bosch. That's something I would hang up in my place.

TVC15 · « **Reply #57 on:** October 20, 2008, 03:07:05 AM »

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Garden_of_Earthly_Delights

Read up on it. There's a lot going on in it.

Also look up some shit by Giuseppe Arcimboldo. He's practically a surrealist about 400 years before they existed. Bosch has a bit of that going on, too, but not to the degree as Arcimboldo. Arcimboldo would be drawing prog rock album covers today.

CrystalGemini · « **Reply #58 on:** October 20, 2008, 03:12:30 AM »

Have you thought about maybe looking into some local artists to create some original work to display?

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #59 on:** October 20, 2008, 03:17:36 AM »

tvc...you had me at 'Bacon'

but that is some amazing stuff. I need to read up on this.

News:

Author Topic: I need shit to hang in my office. Help me cunts. (Read 6675 times)