Canada's new hero

[ShogunOfFear]

http://www.didntread.com/world-news/canada-is-officially-tougher-than-the-united-states.html
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2008/10/08/bc-bear-attack-survivor.html?ref=rss
Quoted from article.
"Our military has been mocked. Our people have been ridiculed. Our strength compared to the United States has been akin to a crippled distinguished mentally-challenged boy trying to take on Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme in a razor wire-lined cage match.

But this is no longer the case. Sure, the United States has nukes whereas we have water balloons. They have jets whereas we have prototypes of Da Vinci’s flying machines. They have submarines whereas we have...shitty submarines.

However, we have one secret weapon.

Jim West.

Say it out loud. It rolls off the tongue then does a backflip and kicks your teeth back into your throat. It resonates in the brain then punches its way out through your cerebellum. It reverberates in your lungs until it explodes from your chest like those aliens in the Alien movies.

So what exactly makes this humble man so ridiculously badass? It’s not his moustache or his toque (although they certainly help). It’s not even his The Dude-esque sweater. There is just one thing that separates Jim West from the common man.

He killed a bear. With a stick.

Jack Churchill is the only other man in history to have done that (I base this on absolutely no research at all), and Churchill is a man of legend. A bedtime story to scare your children into sleeping (If you don’t go to bed / Jack Churchill will sword off your head). If Jack Churchill was a real-life version of Rambo, then Jim West is a realer-life version of Churchil.

Jim West’s rise to Superman-like powers came a few weeks ago when he showed Yogi Bear what happens when you try to steal a stranger’s pic-i-nic basket. And by steal I mean brutally maul. And by pic-i-nic basket I mean head.

And of course, by a stranger, I mean God.

There’s not much I can say about Mr. West that you can’t already imply from reading the CBC article and watching the accompanying video. There is no amount of dazzling rhetoric and puffy metaphors that can truly describe how awesome, how Godlike, how utterly fucking badass Jim West is.

You see, when you kill a bear with a stick, you transcend being a mere mortal. It is a Biblical experience. It is a Homeric poem. It’s what the Nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark would have become if it wasn’t for that whole face-melting ghost thing.

Jim West is not a man. He is a weapon. He is Canada’s weapon, and we are not afraid to use it.

"

Holy shit that guy is bad ass.   

 

[Ganhyun]

And Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick to the face, lol...


But yea, hes a badass.

[Tauntaun]

Chuch Norris >>>>>>>>>>>>>> *

[Ganhyun]

Chuch Norris >>>>>>>>>>>>>> *

[Ganhyun]

Actually, roughly 90% of Canadians have killed a bear of a similar sized mammal with a stick. Its par the course here. Bears just roam the streets, sometimes they want to eat your Souvlaki, so you gotta show 'em whose boss.

 

[Brehvolution]

I thought Bryan Adams was the weapon.