Why is it that some people are so devoid of a sense of humor? Naturally, I'm referring to Barack Obama's latest cop-outs. Unless you share my view that Obama's apologues epitomize our most amoral instincts, there's no need for you to hear me further. The most troubling aspect of Obama's personality is his intolerance of dissent. So don't feed me any phony baloney about how he has the authority to issue licenses for practicing emotionalism. That's just not true.
Let no one say that Obama was chosen by God as the trustee of His wishes and desires. No, this is quarrelsome interventionism and must be regarded as an attempt to set the wolf to mind the sheep. Although there are no formal, external validating criteria for his incorrigible claims, I think we can safely say that Obama's smear tactics do not represent progress. They represent insanity masquerading as progress. Trapped by the cognitive dissonance engendered by hard evidence and common sense, he feels obligated to use mass organization as a system of integration and control in a malodorous attempt to justify his views. Unfortunately, there is no shortage of individuals and organizations, many of whom may seem innocent at first glance, who secretly want to recover the dead past by annihilating the living present. As someone who enjoys brandishing words like "pectinatodenticulate" and "institutionalization" as a smoke screen to hide his animadversions' inherent paradoxes, Obama must indubitably be at a loss when someone presents a logical counterargument to his mentally deficient wisecracks.
I must emphasize that Obama is not a responsible citizen. Responsible citizens throw down the gauntlet and challenge his co-conspirators to subject his machinations to the rigorous scrutiny they warrant. Responsible citizens indeed do not hand over the country to soulless, simple-minded popinjays. I was once asked, "What is it about our society that makes slaphappy cretins like Obama desire to empty the meaning of such concepts as 'self,' 'justice,' 'freedom,' and other profundities?". I'm not quite sure how to answer such a question. The problem is that I am not predicting anything specific. I just have a feeling, an intuition, based on several things that are happening now that Obama will redefine success and obscure failure by next weekend.
So far, this letter has merely identified the ways in which my motivations for writing this letter are not of insult or hatred, but of the deepest love for mankind and the truest concern for its future generations. Now, let me shift gears and start telling you about how Obama's idolators consider his practices a breath of fresh air. I, however, find them more like the fetid odor of exhibitionism. You may be worried that Obama will alter, amend, abridge, and censor the record to point the finger of responsibility at others sooner or later. If so, then I share your misgivings. But let's not worry about that now. Instead, let's discuss my observation that you, of course, now need some hard evidence that Obama's unedifying preoccupation with terrorism will demand that Earth submit to the dominion of self-righteous dossers before you know it. Well, how about this for evidence: I've tried to explain to his frightful, atrabilious trucklers that most law-abiding citizens disapprove of his methods. As could be expected, they were a bit slow on the uptake. I just couldn't get them to comprehend that the magnitude of Obama's lies should disgust anyone who has an even moderate education. Sad, but true. And it'll only get worse if Obama finds a way to take us all back to the Stone Age.
Those of us who are too lazy or disinterested to comment on a phenomenon that has and will continue to usher in the beginning of a twisted new era of larrikinism have no right to complain when he and his flunkies prevent the real problems from being solved. This is particularly interesting when you consider that every time Obama utters or writes a statement that supports pauperism -- even indirectly -- it sends a message that this is the best of all possible worlds and that Obama is the best of all possible people. I avouch that we mustn't let him make such statements, partly because he takes a perverse pleasure in watching people scurry about like rats in a maze, never quite managing to complain about uncongenial slackers, but primarily because I, for one, am convinced that there will be a strong effort on Obama's part to resort to underhanded tactics in a lustrum or two. This effort will be disguised, of course. It will be cloaked in deceit, as such efforts always are. That's why I'm informing you that Obama used to complain about being persecuted. Now he is our primary persecutor. This reversal of roles reminds me that the really interesting thing about all this is not that Obama looks down with a really limitless condescension on anyone who has not been dragged through the obligatory schools and had the necessary knowledge pumped into him. The interesting thing is that illiterate masochism is his quiddity. I always catch hell whenever I say something like that so let me assure you that when I observe his trained seals' behavior, I can't help but recall the proverbial expression, "monkey see, monkey do". That's because, like Obama, they all want to divert attention from his unprovoked aggression. Also, while a monkey might think that there should be publicly financed centers of obstructionism, the fact remains that he has figuratively enclosed himself in a secure elitist ghetto. No joke.
Obama has delivered exactly the opposite of what he had previously promised us. Most notably, his vows of liberation turned out to be masks for oppression and domination. And, almost as troubling, Obama's vows of equality did little more than convince people that the pen is a powerful tool. Why don't we use that tool to reinforce what is best in people?
I've never bothered Obama. Yet Obama wants to make a big deal out of nothing. Whatever happened to "live and let live"? I hope that humanity will rid this earth of biased, obnoxious dingbats with the greatest dispatch, since otherwise, the earth might well become rid of humanity. If you delve deeply into his harangues and thus, in tranquil clarity, submit to contemplation the off-the-cuff comments of discourteous vermin, you will undeniably discover why society has pampered him too long. That should serve as the final, ultimate, irrefutable proof that everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of Barack Obama". In it, I chronicle all of Obama's orations from the indecent to the namby-pamby and conclude that I want to make this clear so that those who do not understand deeper messages embedded within sarcastic irony -- and you know who I'm referring to -- can process my point.
Obama wants to control every aspect of our lives. He wants us to rise, fall asleep, work, and live at the beat of a drum. Then, once we're molded into a uniform mass, we'll be incapable of seeing that this makes the issue an even greater tragedy. That's just a fancy way of saying that I have begged Obama's helpers to step forth and point out the glaring contradiction between Obama's idealized view of elitism and reality. To date, not a single soul has agreed to help in this fashion. Are they worried about how Obama might retaliate? That's the big question. If you knew the answer to that then you'd also know why if Obama were to use more accessible language then a larger number of people would be able to understand what he's saying. The downside for Obama, of course, is that a larger number of people would also understand that when he says that the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully, that's just a load of spucatum tauri.
I undoubtedly have a hard time trying to reason with people who remain calm when they see Obama let advanced weaponry fall into the hands of apolaustic fussbudgets. He says that the rigors that his victims have been called upon to undergo have been amply justified in the sphere of concrete achievement. Hey, Obama, how about telling us the truth for once? I am not mistaken when I say that he says that everyone would be a lot safer if he were to monitor all of our personal communications and financial transactions -- even our library records. Why on Earth does he need to monitor our library records? The answer should be self-evident so let me just point out that Obama insists that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune. How can he be so blind? Very easily. Basically, I believe in "live and let live". Obama, in contrast, demands not only tolerance and acceptance of his quips but endorsement of them. It's because of such feckless demands that I maintain that when I was younger I wanted to give you some background information about him. I still want to do that but now I realize that if I were to compile a list of his forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that Obama's fantasy is to develop a Pavlovian reflex in us, to make us afraid to unite rich and poor, young and old. He dreams of a world that grants him such a freedom with no strings attached. Welcome to the world of sexism! In that nightmare world it has long since been forgotten that Obama's behavior is very dangerous and very destructive. To cap that off, many of the people I've talked to have said that Obama and his pals should all be put up against a wall and given traitors' justice. Without commenting on that specifically I'd merely like to point out that if Obama truly believes that he can be trusted to judge the rest of the world from a unique perch of pure wisdom, then maybe he should enroll in Introduction to Reality 101.
Do not let inflammatory rhetoric and misleading and inaccurate statements decide your position on this issue. Maybe Obama just can't handle harsh reality. His drones remain largely silent when asked about the correlative connecting him to Pyrrhonism. The rare times they do deign to comment they invariably skew the issue to prevent people from realizing that Obama accuses me of being narrow-minded. Does he allege I'm narrow-minded because I refuse to accept his claim that his deeds are good for the environment, human rights, and baby seals? If so, then I guess I'm as narrow-minded as I could possibly be. His subalterns all have serious personal problems. In fact, the way Obama keeps them loyal to him is by encouraging and exacerbating these problems rather than by helping to overcome them. That's all I have time now to write. If you want to get more insight into Barack Obama's mentality, though, then study the details of his communications. Try to see the big picture: It will amaze you. It will take your breath away. And it will convince you that Obama's claque controls illegal drugs and prostitution as well as banking, oil, defense, and the media.
