Adjusting for inflation, what historical crimes have you committed?

[Mandark]

In the other thread we were introduced to the idea of a sort of Reverse Transgression Discount Rate: anything mean you do today is the equivalent of something much worse in the past.

Right now we're calibrating the rate with 1 Trolling A Ninthing 2008 = 1 Murdering A Queer 1908.

So what past crimes have you committed, or might as well have?


By calling George W. Bush a distinguished mentally-challenged fellow in 2008, I paid a penny to laugh at the patients of Bedlam in 1708.  I also may have committed regicide at some time, but to pinpoint the date I'd need a bigger abacus.

[Van Cruncheon]

i told kaijima on gaf that he was, and i quote, "a fucked up furry"

i suspect that makes me at LEAST a borgia nephew

[TVC15]

I've said the phrase "all women are whores" at least ten times in the past year.  What does that net me?  Can I maybe get one of the Crusades?

[Mandark]

I've said the phrase "all women are whores" at least ten times in the past year.  What does that net me?  Can I maybe get one of the Crusades?

With the right credit history I could offer you a great deal on the Rape of Nanking.

[TVC15]

I've said the phrase "all women are whores" at least ten times in the past year.  What does that net me?  Can I maybe get one of the Crusades?

With the right credit history I could offer you a great deal on the Rape of Nanking.

The Chinese or the Japanese version?  Because that makes it between a few tens of thousands killed vs a few hundred killed. 

[Van Cruncheon]

if as the calendar date recedes the atrocities scale geometrically, my fits of underaged drinking possibly eradicated the neanderthal genus

[TVC15]

Can anyone tell me what I would have to do within a reasonable margin of error to leapfrog Gengis Khan?  I want to be the most famous Genghis ever.

I think the only possible way would be to holocaust white people.  He's one Genghis that's hard to top.

[Tristam]

Can anyone tell me what I would have to do within a reasonable margin of error to leapfrog Gengis Khan?  I want to be the most famous Genghis ever.

Punch Miyamoto.

[Mandark]

Can anyone tell me what I would have to do within a reasonable margin of error to leapfrog Gengis Khan?  I want to be the most famous Genghis ever.

Punch Miyamoto.

[Flannel Boy]

 

[Flannel Boy]

I hastily wrote my first law paper tonight, spending more time surfing for porn, eating an extra large pizza, drinking eight shots of vodka, and reading that abortion of a thread. Also, I accidentally chose a case involving a black woman killing her black husband's white mistress.

So I think that's means I created all the Jim Crow laws.

Also, I'm not going to proof-read the paper, because it's 3:09 AM.

[cloudwalking]

Can anyone tell me what I would have to do within a reasonable margin of error to leapfrog Gengis Khan?  I want to be the most famous Genghis ever.

Punch Miyamoto.

punching miyamoto in 2008 however is the eqivalent of sending 110,000 japanese-americans to interment camps in 1942

[Mandark]

cloudwalking has big knockers.

This is clearly equivalent to tempting Adam with the apple and getting humanity expelled from Paradise for all time.

[The Fake Shemp]

One time, I sneered at a crying baby in a convenient store.  What does this net me?

[Mandark]

One time, I sneered at a crying baby in a convenient store.  What does this net me?

Your callous reaction to the misery of others makes you Nero.  Marie Antoinette at the very minimum.

[The Fake Shemp]

What would be the modern day equivalent of the Holocaust?  Buying Apple products?

[Mandark]

Since the category is Atrocities Committed Against The Jews (very popular), I'd say voting Obama.

[The Fake Shemp]

I imagine calling the authorities on a loud party would be akin to alerting the Nazis to Anne Frank.

[drohne]

refused to accept wacky christian flier from man in parking lot, 2008 a.d. = jeered christ during march to golgotha, ca. 0 a.d.

i was close enough to miyamoto to have punched him at a zelda event prior to e3 05. i was perhaps another couple complimentary beers away from becoming an inflation adjusted hitler!

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I paid a traffic ticket today because it seemed like too much trouble to deal with the courts, that's the 1208 equivalent of a venal addiction to papal indulgences

[Akala]

I slammed the door on two Mormons once, that equates to heading the Temple for Robespierre.  :'(

[Crushed]

I didn't buy MGS4. Pretty sure that converts to the firebombing of Tokyo.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Kojima's parents actually lived in Tokyo during the bombings, and their stories influenced his games, so I guess that's double points for irony.

[close]

[Human Snorenado]

I have a tendency to say horrible, horrible things while drunk.  For instance, I once made a pretty young lesbian cry by saying "That's gay; and by gay I mean happy, because that's worse than homosexual."  I suppose that means I wrote Prop 8.

[Eric P]

I have a tendency to say horrible, horrible things while drunk.  For instance, I once made a pretty young lesbian cry by saying "That's gay; and by gay I mean happy, because that's worse than homosexual."  I suppose that means I wrote Prop 8.

ha ha

women, amirite?

but yeah, i do some horrible things when drunk and surly

[drozmight]

I was watching TV the other night and there was video of this horrific crane accident that killed 5 people and I laughed.


Could this make me a murderous crusader during the siege of Jerusalem in 1099?

[Brehvolution]

I got drunk and screwed a fatty at a friends party a long time ago. I guess the equivalent would be flying too low and taking out power lines in Spain, December 1961.

[Joe Molotov]

I pirated a copy of Vampire the Masquerade - Bloodlines and I really liked it, but I never got around to buying a legit copy until after Troika had already gone out of business. I think this probably equivalent to pillaging and raping across the Caribbean during the mid-late 1600's.

[T234]

Does trolling Sega fans work in reverse?  Like one ironic Sonic furry pic posted to mock them=Berlin airlift?

Alot of Sega fans stopped acknowledging the furries.

[Mupepe]

I'm pretty good at making women cheat repeatedly.  What does that make me in my past lives?  And more importantly, in my future lives?

[Mupepe]

I'm also watching When Animals Attack III.  Does this mean I fed Christians to the lions?

[Oblivion]

I declined a friend's invitation to have fun at a casino once.

Guess that means I'm responsible for the Trail of Tears?

[Mupepe]

I declined a friend's invitation to have fun at a casino once.

Guess that means I'm responsible for the Trail of Tears?

Something to be proud of IMO. 

[Oblivion]

I declined a friend's invitation to have fun at a casino once.

Guess that means I'm responsible for the Trail of Tears?

Something to be proud of IMO. 

Damn skippy.

[Van Cruncheon]

borys' wedding dress antics make him the very reincarnation of vlad tepes

[Himu]

What crime does anime pirating net me?

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

The Mongol raid of Baghdad

[Oblivion]

What crime does anime pirating net me?

Actually, I think THIS would be a more appropriate equivalent for the rape of Nanking.

[Himu]

What about jay walking?

[Oblivion]

What about jay walking?

Something from the Spanish Inquisition, I reckon.

[Crushed]

Spanish Inquisition? Way too harsh for something like jay walking.

Definitely the equivalent of being a 16th century Florentine pederast.

[Flannel Boy]

Crushed, I say he's guilty of burning down the Library of Alexandria with his Muslim brothers

[TVC15]

What sort of sins would I have to commit in order to have past-me attend the Banquet of Chestnuts?

[Mupepe]

What sort of sins would I have to commit in order to have past-me attend the Banquet of Chestnuts?

Get over here and we'll commit the sins together

[TVC15]

The Borgias were so awesome.  Coolest family ever?  Helped the church lose its status, patrons of the arts, notorious murderers, and the proto-mafia.

[Crushed]

What sort of sins would I have to commit in order to have past-me attend the Banquet of Chestnuts?

sins? that's not a historical crime, it's historical awesome

[T234]

Does trolling Sega fans work in reverse?  Like one ironic Sonic furry pic posted to mock them=Berlin airlift?

Alot of Sega fans stopped acknowledging the furries.

That sounds like closet Sega fan talk.

AIN'T NO CLOSET HOMIE 

 

[Joe Molotov]

What crime does anime pirating net me?

Freeing the slaves.

[Oblivion]

What crime does anime pirating net me?

Freeing the slaves.

[recursivelyenumerable]

isn't it deflation?   

[drohne]

'inflation adjusted' implies 'deflation adjusted'

[drohne]

made fun of etiolate's reverse transgression discount rate theory = participated in the reeducation of dissidents in maoist china = burned heretics in inquisitional spain = brained an uppity neanderthal for using sharpened stone tools to flay a carcass

[drohne]

hang on, i think we've yet to apprehend this theory's full significance

i mean, i strangled a prostitute last week, but in a civlized, attenuated, etiolated future that would only be equivalent perhaps to failing to hold a door open for a woman

[Flannel Boy]

hang on, i think we've yet to apprehend this theory's full significance

i mean, i strangled a prostitute last week, but in a civlized, attenuated, etiolated future that would only be equivalent perhaps to failing to hold a door open for a woman

          

[The Fake Shemp]

 

[Himu]

What crime does anime pirating net me?

Freeing the slaves.