ecrofirt and i are planning a wedding!

[Ganhyun]

Grats. Much grats.

[Mupepe]

Oh shit.  Congrats!!!! I can't believe I missed the thread 

[chronovore]

Congratulations!

Marriage is a hallowed institution, so don't go cheating on each other, with each other's Second Life avatars. 

[muckhole]

The real question now is, are we all invited to the wedding?

[TakingBackSunday]

I never knew you two were together

cool stuff

[xnikki118x]

Oh shit.  Congrats!!!! I can't believe I missed the thread 

I got your IM love.

The real question now is, are we all invited to the wedding?

Haha oh man would that be ridiculous.





Do you guys think it would be okay if I kept this thread around as wedding planning progresses? Like update it when something big/relevant happens or if we need your expertise? [I know a few of you are married!] Kind of like how the "who's drinking!?" thread is always resurrected?

[elektrikluv]

Awww, congratulations! 

[xnikki118x]

So for those of you who are married, if you don't mind sharing, how many people did you invite? We won't be getting married until May of NEXT year, but I'd like to start doing a tentative guest list. It's pretty daunting because I have a big extended family, and family is important to me.

Also, looking back, is there anything you did or bought for your wedding that you wish you hadn't? Is there anything you didn't do that you wish you had? Have you ever been to a wedding where the bride and groom did something you thought was stupid? Please share!

[demi]

Do it in a small church with your closest friends and family.

[xnikki118x]

Do it in a small church with your closest friends and family.

I'm pretty close to my extended family though, which presents a problem. And we're not doing a church wedding. I probably would if the church my grandparents and parents were married in was still open, but it's not. I don't identify myself with a particular religion anymore and James isn't religious at all, so he absolutely won't have a church wedding.

[cloudwalking]

jarosh and i only had about 12 people at our actual wedding and 40 or so at the reception. we kept it to immediate family, grandparents, aunts/uncles + cousins, and close friends only. obviously not too much of my family made it to the wedding, although i invited them (i doubt many of them would have come even if it had been in the U.S., because a lot of my family members hate each other). i was happy with just my parents there.

just keep in mind that if you're inviting people to the ceremony, they are going to (rightfully) expect to be invited to the reception too. but you can get away with just inviting certain people to the reception and not the ceremony. if you're planning to have an apéro before the ceremony this can save you some $$$$.

a good rule i've always heard is to go down the list through parents and children. starting with grandparents, name all of their siblings and children. then do the same for parents. then siblings, etc. then name only your closest friends. that should be your core guest list.

[xnikki118x]

just keep in mind that if you're inviting people to the ceremony, they are going to (rightfully) expect to be invited to the reception too. but you can get away with just inviting certain people to the reception and not the ceremony.

Oh absolutely. I can't even imagine inviting people to the ceremony but not the reception. It's like "oh hey we can't afford to/don't want to feed you and party with you, but please come see us get married and bring an appropriate gift!" People on theknot ask about this all the time, inviting to the ceremony and not reception. Blows my MIND.

if you're planning to have an apéro before the ceremony this can save you some $$$$.

What is that? Anything that can save money makes my eyes go all wide! We're likely paying for this shindig ourselves, so every little bit helps.

a good rule i've always heard is to go down the list through parents and children. starting with grandparents, name all of their siblings and children. then do the same for parents. then siblings, etc. then name only your closest friends. that should be your core guest list.

This is an excellent idea, and it sure beats writing people down as I remember them!



12 people? That's just the bridal party for us! I think 5 on each side is a decent sized bridal party. It was important to me to not leave anyone close to me out, haha. =x In theory I could have stuck with my MOH and 2 close friends as bridesmaids, but I wanted Ecro's sister and also one of my cousins (who I still have to ask). We each only have one sibling, so I think it's important for both of them to be actually in the wedding.

If I could have a total guest list of 150 I'd be super thrilled, haha. Cutting people is going to be HARD.

[cloudwalking]

just keep in mind that if you're inviting people to the ceremony, they are going to (rightfully) expect to be invited to the reception too. but you can get away with just inviting certain people to the reception and not the ceremony.

Oh absolutely. I can't even imagine inviting people to the ceremony but not the reception. It's like "oh hey we can't afford to/don't want to feed you and party with you, but please come see us get married and bring an appropriate gift!" People on theknot ask about this all the time, inviting to the ceremony and not reception. Blows my MIND.

if you're planning to have an apéro before the ceremony this can save you some $$$$.

What is that? Anything that can save money makes my eyes go all wide! We're likely paying for this shindig ourselves, so every little bit helps.

a good rule i've always heard is to go down the list through parents and children. starting with grandparents, name all of their siblings and children. then do the same for parents. then siblings, etc. then name only your closest friends. that should be your core guest list.

This is an excellent idea, and it sure beats writing people down as I remember them!



12 people? That's just the bridal party for us! I think 5 on each side is a decent sized bridal party. It was important to me to not leave anyone close to me out, haha. =x In theory I could have stuck with my MOH and 2 close friends as bridesmaids, but I wanted Ecro's sister and also one of my cousins (who I still have to ask). We each only have one sibling, so I think it's important for both of them to be actually in the wedding.

If I could have a total guest list of 150 I'd be super thrilled, haha. Cutting people is going to be HARD.

a lot of people do the apéro here, it's like a small thing with hors d'oeuvres or dessert pastries and drinks like light champagne before or after the ceremony starts. it's to hold people over until the reception. if you're having an outdoor wedding in a warm month it's nice because people can get something cold to drink.

we didn't have a bridal party or anything like that but i suppose that jarosh's brother and his girlfriend were like the best man and maid of honor. our wedding was pretty informal. and it was cold... brrr october.

[xnikki118x]

a lot of people do the apéro here, it's like a small thing with hors d'oeuvres or dessert pastries and drinks like light champagne before or after the ceremony starts. it's to hold people over until the reception. if you're having an outdoor wedding in a warm month it's nice because people can get something cold to drink.

we didn't have a bridal party or anything like that but i suppose that jarosh's brother and his girlfriend were like the best man and maid of honor. our wedding was pretty informal. and it was cold... brrr october.

Ah so like a cocktail hour! I don't understand how that saves money though? Unless you're talking about doing that instead of serving a meal. Then I understand haha.

For a long time I debated doing an October wedding. I like the fall colors probably even more than I like spring ones. My MOH would have been in a cranberry/dark red color and my bridesmaids would have been in a dark champagne/yellow/gold (but not metallic!) color. But for the past like 5 weddings in my family, 3 have been in October, and I wanted to do something different. Plus my parents got married in May.

My dream is either an outside summer wedding, or a beautiful winter wedding. But then what if it rains on your outside summer wedding? Or what if there's a huge snowstorm for your winter one? Too many weather variables there I think.

I'm hoping our wedding would be like semi-formal. We don't come from wealthy families, so black tie and black tie optional are absolutely 100% out of the question. I like cocktail attire/semi-formal though. I don't think anyone would show up in jeans or anything but it does make me nervous. Plus my planned dress, my mom's, is like super formal with a cathedral train and lots of intricate beading and stuff. I haven't tried it on yet--cross your fingers for me that I fit into it when I do!

Hory Carp!

congratulations to you both and all the best

is a date set?

Thank you! May of 2010, probably a Friday because it's cheaper. May of 2009 would be even better, but we just can't afford it so soon. Oh well. We'll have been together for 8 years by the time we get married, which is a pretty long time!

[CajoleJuice]

oh i didn't see this thread

congrats!

can i come? i've never been to a wedding.

[drozmight]

There is one thing I insist you have at your wedding, and that is bacon wrapped scallops.

OMG :'(  They are so good.

[Madrun Badrun]

I missed the thread.  Congrats! 

[Flannel Boy]

Congrats guys.

[bud]

congrats!

you're a cute couple.

[Bloodwake]

My dad's second marriage was hilarious. Because I live in Kentucky and everyone and their brother has a religious wedding, it lasted an hour and a half with prayers. I was swerving and leaning because it was the middle of summer and I was trying to dodge the wasps flying around my head.

Later on, my dad and my uncle got drunk and they both fell in the pool. Epic. The suit rental place probably wasn't that crazy about the chlorine in their suits. My dad's a commonwealth attorney so it wasn't like they were cheap suits either.

My advice for weddings: Keep it simple. Have a thirty minute ceremony. My good friend just got married back home (tehjaybo was the best man) and the ceremony was extremely short. I'm not saying most people are like me, but I think people get the picture at the ceremony. If you want people to sing at your wedding, have it afterwards at the reception.

And it doesn't have to be formal. All I know is that if I ever get married, the wedding procession is going to be to the Yavin Throne Room music, because it's a great John Williams composition.

Good luck!

[dammitmattt]

Congrats!!!

My wife and I just got married this summer and I was actively involved in the planning so let me know if you want any wedding planning tips.  Mine went off almost perfectly and I'm still getting complements to this day, but I learned a lot in the process and could've saved myself a few thousand $ and still had just as good of a wedding the next time around.  Here are some general tips that I learned, but everyone's experience is different:

- Get married at 5/6 pm or later...you want your wedding to be THE party for the evening so people will stay until the end
- Get a cool, young, talented videographer....my wife and I are much happier with our video than our pictures and it was 1/5 the cost
- Don't overspend on food, cake, and photography...you won't get to enjoy the food and cake and photographers are a dime a dozen
- Beer and wine is enough...don't feel pressured to have hard liquor...but make sure you have alcohol!!!
- For the love of God don't fly out too early for your honeymoon, and don't drive two hours to the airport on 3 hours of sleep (this was my biggest mistake)
- Make sure the venue has both indoor and outdoor areas...you need a space for the smokers and a place to get away...I would stay away from the hotel ballroom-type spaces for this very reason
- Practice your first dance and choose your song carefully (this was my second-biggest mistake...Brown-Eyed Girl is too damn fast for my meager dancing skills)
- Get a band if you can...any good band leader will be a great party leader
- Spend as much time as possible with your vendors...the more they know you, the better job they'll do and the more personalized it will be
- Go all-inclusive if at all possible on your vacation and get it paid off well in advance...the last thing you want to worry about on your honeymoon is money (and while you're at it, both of you need to get tan before the honeymoon so you don't have to hide from the sun...if you're doing something tropical)
- Get your venues booked asap...there are plenty of vendors out there
- Negotiate with your vendors...I saved myself at least a thousand $ through (pleasant) negotiations

Best of luck planning!  My wife and I did it in 3-4 months, so don't listen to people that say you need a year or longer.

EDIT: I forgot to add this, but we had 125ish people involved in our wedding, which was a good size.  I'd say you want to keep it under 150, especially if money is a big obstacle.  Don't have a formal dinner.  That's usually kind of boring.  Hors d oeuvres and some scattered tables where people can sit and/or lean against is good enough.

EDIT2: Demi...I've got some sweet honeymoon videos too...

[demi]

Also record the honeymoon and PM me thanks...

[dammitmattt]

All I know is that if I ever get married, the wedding procession is going to be to the Yavin Throne Room music, because it's a great John Williams composition.

I'm sorry to inform you that unless you're a girl, the chances of this happening are extremely fucking slim.

[dammitmattt]

Yeah...not happening.  Although our recessional was Girl/Boy song by Aphex Twin

That is infinitely cooler than Godhand 

[MCD]

Congrats.

[Lone]

DM, I did a search, and found no mention of Tetris Cake.  SHAME.

[Mr. Gundam]

All I know is that if I ever get married, the wedding procession is going to be to the Yavin Throne Room music, because it's a great John Williams composition.

I'm sorry to inform you that unless you're a girl, the chances of this happening are extremely fucking slim.

Friends of mine got married last month, and their procession was the Yavin Throne Room music, and it was the bride's idea. My wife and I were in wedding party, so as we're walking down the aisle out of the church, she let out a wookie roar. It was great.

Our wedding processional song as we walked out was the Peanuts theme song.

[Lone]

All I know is that if I ever get married, the wedding procession is going to be to the Yavin Throne Room music, because it's a great John Williams composition.

I'm sorry to inform you that unless you're a girl, the chances of this happening are extremely fucking slim.

Friends of mine got married last month, and their procession was the Yavin Throne Room music, and it was the bride's idea. My wife and I were in wedding party, so as we're walking down the aisle out of the church, she let out a wookie roar. It was great.

[Ninja]

Congrats!

[Diunx]

Congratulations!

[dammitmattt]

DM, I did a search, and found no mention of Tetris Cake.  SHAME.

I think I put it in a the "show pics of yourself thread."  If not, I will sometime.  That was a great surprise.

In other news, where the hell is the "star"?!?!?!?

[drozmight]

All I know is that if I ever get married, the wedding procession is going to be to the Yavin Throne Room music, because it's a great John Williams composition.

I'm sorry to inform you that unless you're a girl, the chances of this happening are extremely fucking slim.

Friends of mine got married last month, and their procession was the Yavin Throne Room music, and it was the bride's idea. My wife and I were in wedding party, so as we're walking down the aisle out of the church, she let out a wookie roar. It was great.

Our wedding processional song as we walked out was the Peanuts theme song.

Your friend married a wookie?

[xnikki118x]

All I know is that if I ever get married, the wedding procession is going to be to the Yavin Throne Room music, because it's a great John Williams composition.

I always wanted to incorporate that into my wedding somehow, but I never talked to Ecro about it. Hmmmmm.



I'm thinking about just doing beer and wine as opposed to a full bar. I toyed with doing a dry reception for a while but my mother said absolutely not, she'd pay for the alcohol even. Then my friend got married on the 27th and there was no alcohol at her wedding, and like half her guests left right after dinner. I bet it had something to do with the fact that there was no booze. So definitely some kind of alcohol for us, haha. If there will be hard liquor, it will probably be for the cocktail hour only if that saves money.

We're definitely serving a full meal, because that's just what my family does. No seafood at all--I'm allergic and the last thing I need on my wedding day is some kind of contamination nightmare that lands me in the ER unable to breathe. [Although that would make for an excellent story later on!]

We won't be doing a sit-down meal, it will be a buffet. I've spent years working in foodservice and now I work in catering. Sit-downs are plated too early in advance too often, you don't get enough to eat, and if you're a picky eater like me it sucks. I'd much rather a buffet. However, we might have the head table do a family-style where you pass dishes or be served, and everyone else will go buffet, just because I worry about spilling shit on myself. You can dress me up, but you can't take me out.

We have a friend who is a dancer by profession and I hope she can help us with our first dance. James and I have been to many formals together--the whole high school sweetheart thing--and we always just kind of sway and move around during slow dances haha. I don't wanna do that when people are actually watching me. Oh, and I step on his feet a lot. I hope our friend can remedy this. We have lots of time to practice which is good!

I'd like to get our vendors booked as soon as possible, but right now we just can't afford it, which is just making me pull my hair out whenever I think about it. I make less than my bills are right now, Ecro pays what I can't, and he's also paying his parents to live there. Our whole financial situation just sucks so hardcore. I've been researching and some vendors need like half the cost upfront to book your date. :'(


Mantra: I love the Peanuts theme!

[Lone]

DM, I did a search, and found no mention of Tetris Cake.  SHAME.

I think I put it in a the "show pics of yourself thread."  If not, I will sometime.  That was a great surprise.

In other news, where the hell is the "star"?!?!?!?

Probably cause of the other Lonestar..or I just wanted to shorten it.  Which I've done at other places.

[Mr. Gundam]

I'm thinking about just doing beer and wine as opposed to a full bar. I toyed with doing a dry reception for a while but my mother said absolutely not, she'd pay for the alcohol even. Then my friend got married on the 27th and there was no alcohol at her wedding, and like half her guests left right after dinner. I bet it had something to do with the fact that there was no booze. So definitely some kind of alcohol for us, haha. If there will be hard liquor, it will probably be for the cocktail hour only if that saves money.

We're definitely serving a full meal, because that's just what my family does. No seafood at all--I'm allergic and the last thing I need on my wedding day is some kind of contamination nightmare that lands me in the ER unable to breathe. [Although that would make for an excellent story later on!]

We won't be doing a sit-down meal, it will be a buffet. I've spent years working in foodservice and now I work in catering. Sit-downs are plated too early in advance too often, you don't get enough to eat, and if you're a picky eater like me it sucks. I'd much rather a buffet. However, we might have the head table do a family-style where you pass dishes or be served, and everyone else will go buffet, just because I worry about spilling shit on myself. You can dress me up, but you can't take me out. Smiley

We had an open bar and sit down meal at my wedding. My father-in-law insisted on having the open bar (hey, he was paying for it, so I wasn't going to argue) since he had people from work at the wedding, and the place we had the reception at (Omaha Press Club, it was FREE to use since my father in law is a retired member of the press) required that you use their food services. Since the kitchen was on site, everything was great when we were seated.

HOWEVER.

The wedding I went to the first weekend in December was beer and wine only. They had red and white wine, and kegs of the bride's favorite beers (Stella Artois and Miller Lite). No one complained, seeing how it was free. They also had a buffet, which worked out really well.

My opinion is you need food of some sort (my sister's first wedding was cake only, that was not cool), and at least champagne for a toast. I went to wedding that had a cash bar, which honestly doesn't bother me. What bothered me was that if you wanted champagne for the toast, you had to buy a glass of it. That's the epitome of cheap.

[dammitmattt]

I still say that having (substantial) hors d'oeuvres is good enough and encourages people to get up off their asses, mingle, dance, drink, etc.  We had plenty of real food at my wedding so it's not like anyone was hungry.  Just make sure to mark off tables for your family/friends with special needs or kids.  A buffet is the next-best option but it's not fun at all sitting in a long line, waiting for your food.

I think a full sit-down dinner with service really slows things down and screws up the whole "party" vibe you're going after because so many people tend to leave after the meal in the lull between the meal and the rest of the events.  HOWEVER, at some venues, you're pretty much stuck with this so you can make the most of it by working with the on-site coordinator and bands to keep things moving and exciting while your guests are stuffing their faces.

I can't imagine people charging even for the damn toast.  That's beyond lame.  Even if you can't afford a bar, at the very least you should buy a few cases and have coolers off to the side and buy your guests some damn champagne.

[demi]

make sure you have jello shots so i can do them off your [sister/aunt/niece/daughter/mother/grandmother]'s stomach in the heat of things

[xnikki118x]

The wedding I went to the first weekend in December was beer and wine only. They had red and white wine, and kegs of the bride's favorite beers (Stella Artois and Miller Lite). No one complained, seeing how it was free. They also had a buffet, which worked out really well.

My opinion is you need food of some sort (my sister's first wedding was cake only, that was not cool), and at least champagne for a toast. I went to wedding that had a cash bar, which honestly doesn't bother me. What bothered me was that if you wanted champagne for the toast, you had to buy a glass of it. That's the epitome of cheap.

I wonder how much a keg of James's favorite beer would be. Pretty damn expensive I'm sure--he loves that Terrible stuff and it's like 80-some dollars for a case!

Cake and punch receptions bother me a little. From what I understand, they're common in certain faiths and large churches because all church members come to the ceremony, so they stay for cake and punch afterward. I get hungry quickly though and eat something every few hours. I can't imagine having guests for a ceremony and reception and only feeding them something light. Heavy appetizers is as "light" as I would be comfortable going, and even then said appetizers would consist of like chicken finger things and pizza slices and shit.

I don't like the idea of cash bars. They're widely thought of as pretty tacky and while some people won't care about them, some will and I don't want people talking ill about my wedding. I personally wouldn't care if I went to a wedding with a cash bar, but lots of people do. I think a nice compromise is to have beer and wine available for free, but charge for mixed drinks and liquor. Charging for the champagne toast seems ASININE to me!