Author Topic: 99 Nights is 99 Shades of Crap (Read 3785 times)

Van Cruncheon · « **on:** July 30, 2006, 04:36:10 PM »

Remeber the first time you stuck your erect, eager cock in a door jamb and slammed it as hard as you could? Remember how you shrieked in agony and begged for death rather than endure even another SECOND of inflamed, bleeding eunuchhood? Remember the stark, razor-edged sensations that spiked your abdominal nerves, dulled only by the throbbing beat of your shame and humiliation at having done something so inutterably stupid?

That's what downloading and playing the 99 Nights demo is like -- only WORSE.

TVC15 · « **Reply #1 on:** July 30, 2006, 04:37:14 PM »

It's better than Devil Kings. . .a game you made me buy!

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #2 on:** July 30, 2006, 04:39:17 PM »

I'm honestly sorry about that. $:-\$

TVC15 · « **Reply #3 on:** July 30, 2006, 04:42:58 PM »

Devil Kings! Monster Hunter PSP! I'm just glad I didn't let your enthusiasm sell me on Magna Carta or Atelier Iris 2.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #4 on:** July 30, 2006, 04:51:21 PM »

That is JUST SO LOW. I warned you AWAY from Fagna Carta (lolz; fegs) and Atelier Iris 2!

demi · « **Reply #5 on:** July 30, 2006, 04:52:12 PM »

at least you approved my friend invite, sweetie

Mondain · « **Reply #6 on:** July 30, 2006, 04:54:32 PM »

Horrible indeed. It's an horrible Dynasty Warriors clone with a meh story and boring gameplay. Characters models do look good, but the environments really look pretty crappy. What's with the pop-in?

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #7 on:** July 30, 2006, 04:58:43 PM »

The supers look grand, but I cant imagine there being a sense of urgency in the game. It just lacks that epic you against everyone feeling. I dont know if making the enemies harder would help either. It just doesnt seem that epic or grand at all

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #8 on:** July 30, 2006, 06:07:29 PM »

I'm not sure which game is worse (based entirely on their respective demos): this, or Saints' Row.

99 Nights Pluses:

-- Visuals are passable
-- Beating up hordes of shit and mindless crowd control gameplay is fun for a good thirty minutes
-- there's some stats and loot thang goin' on

99 Nights Minuses:
-- lolz orcs
-- lolz generic three-dee animu
-- the camera has a serious preference for orc ass
-- the AI makes the DW games look like fuckin' Hearts of Iron II
-- there's none of the depth of a DW game here, and the level design makes baby Xiahou Dun cry
-- geezus fuck there's a loli character

Saints' Row Pluses
-- the car models and the deformation modeling are ace
-- I made a fat version of Evilore who dropped some MMA moves on a badly-rendered grandma
-- ...
-- profit

Saints' Row Minuses
-- possibly the ugliest next-gen game ever made
-- art direction validates every criticism of Western visual design made by the wacky jappy set on THAT OTHER FORUM
-- lolz straight thuggin'
-- lolz 20 fps
-- lolz soulless GTA clone sans subtle British snark
-- the intro is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever watched in my life, and I sat through the first ten minutes of that AD&D movie starring a Wayans Brother

Wobedraggled · « **Reply #9 on:** July 30, 2006, 06:11:24 PM »

I so wanted N3 to be good, guess I cursed it...

Amir0x · « **Reply #10 on:** July 30, 2006, 06:12:58 PM »

Oh no.. JoJo is here.. everybody run

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #11 on:** July 30, 2006, 06:14:09 PM »

Jotaro fuckin' rocks, schweinhund. Around here, we do in fact HUMOR THE TUMOR.

Amir0x · « **Reply #12 on:** July 30, 2006, 06:15:26 PM »

tag me

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #13 on:** July 30, 2006, 06:16:12 PM »

Quote from: Amir0x on July 30, 2006, 06:15:26 PM

tag me

"Junior Member"

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #14 on:** July 30, 2006, 06:16:45 PM »

This is not going to be a Wii-friendly forum.

Amir0x · « **Reply #15 on:** July 30, 2006, 06:18:24 PM »

But I r0x

TVC15 · « **Reply #16 on:** July 30, 2006, 06:18:45 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on July 30, 2006, 06:07:29 PM

I'm not sure which game is worse (based entirely on their respective demos): this, or Saints' Row.

99 Nights Pluses:

-- Visuals are passable
-- Beating up hordes of shit and mindless crowd control gameplay is fun for a good thirty minutes
-- there's some stats and loot thang goin' on

99 Nights Minuses:
-- lolz orcs
-- lolz generic three-dee animu
-- the camera has a serious preference for orc ass
-- the AI makes the DW games look like fuckin' Hearts of Iron II
-- there's none of the depth of a DW game here, and the level design makes baby Xiahou Dun cry
-- geezus fuck there's a loli character

Saints' Row Pluses
-- the car models and the deformation modeling are ace
-- I made a fat version of Evilore who dropped some MMA moves on a badly-rendered grandma
-- ...
-- profit

Saints' Row Minuses
-- possibly the ugliest next-gen game ever made
-- art direction validates every criticism of Western visual design made by the wacky jappy set on THAT OTHER FORUM
-- lolz straight thuggin'
-- lolz 20 fps
-- lolz soulless GTA clone sans subtle British snark
-- the intro is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever watched in my life, and I sat through the first ten minutes of that AD&D movie starring a Wayans Brother

I'm not defending 99 Nights, I just said it's better than your favorite game ever Devil Kings, which was reminiscent of the time when I stuck a pipe cleaner up my diddler-hole as a child.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #17 on:** July 30, 2006, 06:19:53 PM »

I do not disagree. Devil Kings was about as fun as spending an Arizona summer trapped in Oprah's butthole.

iapetus · « **Reply #18 on:** July 30, 2006, 08:02:40 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on July 30, 2006, 06:07:29 PM

-- there's none of the depth of a DW game here

Now that's low...

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #19 on:** July 30, 2006, 08:16:10 PM »

Shut up, Europe.

morphix · « **Reply #20 on:** July 31, 2006, 12:17:25 AM »

It is better than Dynasty Warriors, so until KOEI can release a game in the series that doesn't look like ass N3 is the best you are going to get.

What more do you want anyway?

Anime chicks with metal boobs - check

Seemingly invincible heroes with over the top super moves - check

100s of disposables enemies on screen at once - check

effortless combo system - check

Sure the lip syncing sucks, and there is some pop in but compared to DW it looks like a freaking work of art.

theetrin · « **Reply #21 on:** July 31, 2006, 12:20:07 AM »

Speaking of Devil Kings, Basara 2 is a fucking assload of awesome. The first one sucked balls, but this new one is incredible.

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #22 on:** July 31, 2006, 12:22:36 AM »

Did outrageous sums of money make Morphix have bad taste or did he always have bad taste that has been manifested through unlimited funds?

Interesting question.

Bloodwake · « **Reply #23 on:** July 31, 2006, 12:41:32 AM »

I guarantee both Ninety Nine Nights and Saints' Row both suck ass.

GTA clones and Dynasty Warriors clones just don't appeal to me, they just fucking look like shit.

LunarAura · « **Reply #24 on:** August 01, 2006, 06:58:44 AM »

I love this game and you guys suck for hating it. That said, I've only played a demo of the first Dynasty Warriors that came out for PS2. And Samurai Warriors. That game sucks.

N3 is a must buy for me. LA-LANDSLIDE ~~auhauhuahuahuahua~~ lololoooll!

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Author Topic: 99 Nights is 99 Shades of Crap (Read 3785 times)

Amir0x

Amir0x

Amir0x