I just need to post somewhere because I'm just. Angry! And it's one of those days when things fucking pile up and I have no idea what to do. So:
I guess the root of it is just that I feel like. My wife and I work incredibly hard. I feel like we really bust our asses to make ends meet. But lately they haven't been meeting, no matter what we do. I barely got paid enough to make it happen when I started this job- When my life got fucked over at work and lost her job, we were still okay. But then my company swapped health care providers and now I'm out almost 200 bucks a month- About 1/7th of my take home. And now we're not okay. And so my wife got this job tutoring in fucking shady neighborhoods and half the time the families dont bother to keep their appointments and so she had 3 hour roundtrip that she doesn't get paid for. And it's just like. What else am I supposed to fucking do?
AND THEN I FUCKING COME HOME and here's the part that just has me like. BLISTERING. I just had to leave the room to write this or else I was going to do something. We live with these Danish people. And they're okay like 40% of the time, tolerable 10% and absolute fucking shitcans the other 50%. I come home and I make dinner and I have a friend who was coming over at 9 to watch the Office. It's a standing date. So it's like 7:55 and the Danes come home and they're like WE WANNA WATCH A MOVIE.
Now keep in mind they have never offered a SINGLE DOLLAR for the television- which we're still paying off, the singular purchase of our flush and optimistic future- nor a SINGLE DOLLAR for the XBox that plays the DVDs (A relic from two years when I was MISERABLE and young and made much more money doing NOTHING ALL DAY). So I said, "Well, I have a friend coming over 9 to watch TV" and they say, "Well, we really wanna watch this movie and it's only an hour and 30 minutes". So I said, "Well, that's 30 minutes past when Justine is going to be here" and for some fucking reason I just say, "Fine, go ahead".
But when they're not looking, I fuck up the cabling behind the TV. It's a passive aggressive sabotages but short of breaking a glass or kicking one of them in the teeth, I have no idea what else to do. So they turn on the XBox and of course nothing comes up. And so they summon me and I'm sitting there behind the TV, fucking with the cables for 5 minutes and then. I have no idea what to do. I'm sitting there thinking about how to be a good person (Plug it in) and what I really want (Friends to come over) and how my upbringing in a capital market DEMANDS that these freeloading fuck cretins pay up (They get 3000 euros a month just to be students) and I plug it in. I just cave. It's self-righteous.
And I had to leave the room because they're eating dinner (And I'll clean up their plates like I always motherfucking do) and I just wanna smash the plates in their fucking faces because someone has to pay.
And all of this is freaking me out because I'm not an angry person. I can't remember ever being like this, but I just have no fucking clue what to do and I feel like the deck is stacked and like every short sighted, fucked up, halfwit, lesser person on the planet is goose stepping ahead of me and even in my wildest, most concentrated scramble I can't catch up.
And so that's why I had to write an Angry Self-Pity post. Because my wife will be stuck in the freezing ghetto until 11. Because two over privileged euro trash fucks are hogging resources they have no right to. Because I hate work, because I go to work when the sun comes up and leave when the sun goes down and there are no daylight hours for me. Because I want to be a creative person and there's no time for it. I just feel like. It's like being stuck in the worst fucking MMO of all time.
